Help! My 4 year old is asking too many questions!

[KevinM]

We took DD (4yoa) to WDW for the first time last December. When we were there she was completely in awe of the characters, mostly the Princesses. She believed that Sleeping Beauty was Sleeping Beauty, the Castle was where Cinderalla lived, etc....

In the last few weeks she has been asking my wife and I numerous questions: "Is that really Snow White or just a girl in a costume?"; "If Mickey is a cartoon why doesn't he look like a cartoon if that's the real Mickey?"; "Was that Tinkerbell really flying or was it just a girl on a string?"

I've tried to convince her that they are the real characters, not just people in costume, but I don't think I've done a very good job. I wasn't expecting these kinds of questions for a few years but kids are so much smarter today.

I want her to be a little girl just a little while longer. Can anyone out there offer some tips that I can use to convince her that the "magic" is real? We are going again in a few months!!!

 

[Cinderella37]

Good for you for wanting her be a little girl for as long as possible! I'm a teacher and I hate to see little kids growing up too fast. First, I would tell her that in WDW, Tinkerbell sprinkles Pixie Dust everywhere, so magical things happen. Then, I'd explain that Mickey and his friends look different in person because of the special way that their movies are filmed. Show her a WDW vacation planning video (available at www.disney.com) and allow her to see that when Mickey and his friends are in WDW (where they live) they look this way. But when they're in movies, they look different because they're playing a role and their movies are made with special cameras.

Have some friends or relatives write some letters to your little girl, written in different handwriting, telling her about where they live and saying that they can't wait until she visits. She'd probably be thrilled to receive mail from characters. When you do character greetings, reference the letters. The character will surely play along.

I don't think there's anything wrong with "lying" to kids to protect childhood. My aunt and uncle had my cousin believing for years that if she said magic words, she was invisible. She grew up just fine, without any psychological damage. Heck, I'm 27 and convinced the characters are the real thing.

 

[Amirah95]

Wow, your DD is asking questions like this at the age of 4? I'm impressed. I want her in my class when she goes to college.

I used to tell my daughter that the princesses appointed (Disney) special characters (CMs) to represent them at her birthday parties or recital parties or grandma's parties because they were busy performing in their respective movies (the videotapes) for other little girls (like herself who love them) to see and it seemed to work (good truthful story with a twist).

It's not a lie. It's the truth. She accepted it and I felt better. Whew! Thank goodness those days are now over. I don't believe in lying to anyone.

 

[pandamom]

My (now 6 year old) dd started saying they were only people in costumes last year. She came up with a bunch of valid reasons how she knew this. I explained even though I know that this may be true I still like to believe in the "magic" that the characters are real. She agreed that may be funner and doesn't bring it up anymore. She also announced last year the Easter bunny was only a person in a costume. She then went on to explain she thought it was Santa dressing up so he could check up on all the children in the spring. Go figure!

 

[LisaZoe]

I'd probably handle this like I would similar questions about Santa - i.e. Is that really Santa at the mall? How can he be at the mall here and making toys at the North Pole? How does he fit down the chimney? etc. Sometimes these kids really want to still believe so any reasonable explanation will satisfy them.

I remember my youngest nephew noticing that the Christmas gifts I gave him went with the presents from Santa. He asked how I knew what to give him (I think he and his brothers got bikes from Santa and I gave them helmets). I explained that Santa has a toll free number that only adults can call so we can find out what Santa is giving our relatives in case we want to give something to go with that gift. DNephew seemed to accept that explanation and continued to believe for a few more years.

I agree with the other posters that there is a very definite difference between lying to maintain a childhood belief in "magic" and lying because it would be eaiser for you than to tell the truth.

 

[jobanana]

I took my 4 year old D in april and when we got back she told her grandma that all the charcters we're people in costumes except for Mickey. She said she saw all the others zippers but not mickeys. He's the real thing. Ha ha. So, I know where you're coming from. I want her to stay little. At least a little bit longer. She tells me she can't help it, she just grows anyway.

 

[irish dancer]

I have been in your shoes. We took our DD to Disneyland for her 4th birthday, we had been to WDW before this trip. I was totally crushed when she very matter of factly told me "Mom, that is not really Snow White. It is just a lady in a costume and wig." I thought I was going to cry, how could that be she was only 4?!

Well, I must say we have been to WDW every year since that trip and at 7 she is still excited to see the characters and have pictures taken. It doesn't seem to matter to her that they are not 'real'. She has never really talked about it since then and talks about them with her younger brother and sister as if they are 'real'.

 

[DISchick]

In my 8 years of teaching 6 and 7 year olds, I find the best response to questions about Santa and The Tooth Fairy is to answer any question with a question--"What do you think?"
Children WANT to believe in magic, but they take their cues from us. If asking those kinds of questions gets our attention, they'll keep asking. Just reiterate that YOU believe and let them draw their own conclusions. If they insist that the characters are not real, just tell them that you choose to believe! Keep being happy and excited about it, ignore negative comments, and more often than not, they'll hop on board and join in the fun!
Good luck and enjoy your trip!

 

[Kendra17]

My children always knew that Holiday characters and the characters at WDW were not real. It really never affected them negatively.

They both asked me, years apart, if they were real, and I think that I wasn't comfortable misleading them. I felt so uncomfortable attempting to convince them of something they were suspicious of. So, I answered, well, they're not really real, but we PRETEND they are, and pretending they are is FUN. They completely buy this idea.

This is absolutely not a judgment at all. I, personally, just found it so difficult to try to tell them that Chip and Dale were real when they obviously look, uh, not too real. I also had a problem when we were in Epcot and ran into Mary Poppins and Bert. My daughter watched this film a zillion times. How can I tell her that this is Mary Poppins and Bert--who she knows is Dick Van **** and Julie Andrews (who she also knew from Sound of Music). I could not attempt to tell her something that was the opposite of what her common sense was telling her.

The point is, they are no worse for it. My daughter ( now 12) loves ANYTHING Disney, and my son (now 7) and daughter still wants to hit the character meals this next trip. Knowing they are in costume doesn't impact their feelings about Disneyworld or anything else.

And, both of my kids have wonderful imaginations as well as excellent grades. My son is constantly dressing up as gladiators, pirates , etc., and has a healthy imagination. And, my daughter sings and acts and won the Sarah Bernhardt acting award at her school--so, really, they still understand the Disney "magic".

 

[Laurabearz]

Originally posted by Kendra17
. Knowing they are in costume doesn't impact their feelings about Disneyworld or anything else.

Heck I know they are just people in costume but I still get excited to see them!

My 4 YO came up with this question....

If monsters are not real how can tinkerbell be real? I back pedaled and got the heck outta her room! LOL

 

[Horizons16]

Originally posted by KevinM
We took DD (4yoa) to WDW for the first time last December. When we were there she was completely in awe of the characters, mostly the Princesses. She believed that Sleeping Beauty was Sleeping Beauty, the Castle was where Cinderalla lived, etc....

You mean thats not really Sleeping Beauty and thats not where Cinderalla lives. What the heck.... i've been robbed.

 

[ttichenor]

I found out that my younger DD knows due to this conversation she had with her older sister.

"I know Mom's the tooth fairy, because the money I get is wrinkled" LOL

Hey, I have a small change purse. Cracked me totally up. Guess the Tooth Fairy is rumored to have pressed money.

 

[Karibeth19]

Originally posted by DISchick
In my 8 years of teaching 6 and 7 year olds, I find the best response to questions about Santa and The Tooth Fairy is to answer any question with a question--"What do you think?"
Children WANT to believe in magic, but they take their cues from us. If asking those kinds of questions gets our attention, they'll keep asking. Just reiterate that YOU believe and let them draw their own conclusions. If they insist that the characters are not real, just tell them that you choose to believe! Keep being happy and excited about it, ignore negative comments, and more often than not, they'll hop on board and join in the fun!

That's such a great answer! I've done that with my DD(7) many times, because I feel the same way. I want her to believe in magic and stay a little girl for as long as she can. And I also want her to know that it's OK to stay a "little girl" at heart forever, so I always let her know that I believe. A few years from now I'm sure that will make me "uncool" for a while, but for now it helps us share some wonderful memories and hopefully, in the future she can share that magic with her own kids!

 

[dizagain]

My girls are 8 and 10...I always say that it's ok to believe in the magic in your heart...I sure do! They continue to celebrate the wonderful in many things...WDW, Santa, the EB and TF included! They are returning to WDW for the second time next year and you better believe they want to eat in the castle with the princesses again! They seem to take their cue from me and LOVE the fantasy. Now their Daddy on the other hand...

 

[kbkids]

Originally posted by DISchick
I find the best response to questions about Santa and The Tooth Fairy is to answer any question with a question--"What do you think?"
Children WANT to believe in magic, but they take their cues from us.

Yep! Totally agree. My DD is turning 7 in October and still won't completely admit she doesn't believe in them anymore. We go to Disney several times a year, so she's had plenty of opportunities to "eye" the situation. She started asking at about 5 1/2, and that was exactly my response and has been ever since. Lately, she's been turning the tables on me and saying, "Now, what do you think?" I just respond with "Looks like Mickey to me!" I know deep down she doesn't believe in the characters anymore, but Santa, Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny - they are all very much alive and real in our house!!

 

[palmtreegirl]

I second the "What do you think ?" response, works like charm everytime.

 

[natcam1996]

Our DD (8) asked about the Tooth Fairy the other day and I used the "What do you think?" approach. I also sometimes ask her "Why are you asking?" because it gives an insight into what she's thinking. It helps me keep the answers simple and direct. I'd really like her feel the magic of life forever. I think kids get dosed with too much reality and information - way before they're equipped to handle it.