HELP....my 2 year old won't eat (long story)

[gshoemate]

My DS turns 2 tomorrow and he has decided to give up eating. Little background....he is a very small guy, I would say right now he doesn't way more the 25 pounds. He has been small since he was born. He is very active, been crawling since 4 months, walking since about 11 months and if he is awake, he is on the go. He doesn't sit down to color, he doesn't sit down to watch T.V., he is busy busy busy!! To busy to sit and eat, and if you try to feed him while he is on the go, he doesn't want anything to do with it becaues Mr. Independant wants to do the fork and spoon himself (which I understand). I'm not to worried about it, he'll eventually sit down to eat when he gets hungry. I try to feed him healthy snack foods...apples, grapes, something that he can eat while playing. The problem is his Doctor. We have already gone through this twice with the Doctor about his weight. The doctor doesn't think he weighs enough, power feed him fatty foods, mix carnation instant breakfast drink with his cereal (but he won't sit still long enough to eat) and then the doctor has us come in every 2 months for a weight check. I have told the doctor how active he is, I have told the doctor that I am 5'1 and my mother and her siblings and parents weren't even that tall, that DH's mother and her siblings and parents weren't that tall but he still make a huge deal out of it (I know, thats his job) but now DH is worried that the doctor is going to think we are starving him or something. DH is worried that the doctor is going to call DCF or something. On our last 2 month checkup we saw the nurse practitioner and I told her about us having petite families and she was like "why are you here", she didn't understand why the doctor was so worried. He's gaining weight....just very slowly.

So, if your still reading by this point....how can I get him to eat meals instead of snacking. He seems to not like the foods he used to....hot dogs, grilled cheese, cheerios....but he at the same time he won't try any new foods. I don't know where his energy is coming from. Help!!

 

[damo]

My mother in law often tells the story that my husband would have starved to death if she didn't force feed him when he was little.

She used to strap him in the chair, get food in his mouth and then turn on the vacuum cleaner to scare him into swallowing. Thank goodness people don't do that these days.

I'd say that you are doing just fine. As long as you are providing him with nourishment he will eat and drink what he needs.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

My kids also go through these stages with eating. For a while they'll love grilled cheese, then they won't touch it. Both of them are very picky... they refuse any type of meat or fruit, all they ever want is crackers, chips, cookies, and junk. I have found like 3 things they will eat so I just keep giving it to them. Sometimes they'll eat pb&j five nights in a row when they are really going through a picky stage. I talked to the ped and he said not to worry... kids will eat when they get hungry, and as long as they are a healthy weight it's OK.

I have a friend who has a son who's very small. He takes growth hormones and is on a special diet. He's also been tested for 100 different diseases and problems, but they were all negative. His mom is barely 5' tall so I think he's just going to be small.

Maybe get a second opinion from another ped?

 

[CajunDixie]

S-I-L was the same way when she was little. Her Dr. told her mom if she'll eat a chocolate chip cookie (favorite food) then there's nothing wrong with her......its just a stage. Maybe try taking him to the grocery and try to get him to pick out some stuff.......produce area, cereal aisle, baby food aisle. No way would I keep going back the the Dr to have his weight checked when he's perfectly healthy.

 

[chager]

My son went through these periods of eating very little and still does sometimes, the Dr's always told me not to worry that he would eat when he was hungry. I would make sure he had healthy food to snack on. He is not a small child but average for his age.
My neighbor has two very petite children. None of their family are petite though. She has an aweful time getting the kids to eat. They are 4 and 2. She makes sure she has plenty of healthy foods like cheese and yogurt available for them to snack on. She also tries to follow the rule that they have to eat at least 3 bites of whatever is for dinner. That doesn't always work but usually does. She won't get into power struggles with them though becasue that just makes eating worse.
Overall I wouldn't worry too much. If he is still playing and full of energy then he is probably getting enough for his body. Some kids are just small.Good luck!

 

[goofy4tink]

He's not picky, he's discriminating!!! My dd, now 10, was the same way. Eating is a battle you can't win. A healthy child will not starve himself. My suggestion is to leave him alone. Offer him, at meal times, his 'favorite' food of the moment. I wouldn't give him snacks at all. If he starts eating better at mealtimes, then go back to giving the snacks. He probably has a pretty small tummy, so he just doesn't need all that much food. As long as he continues to gain, even slowly, he should be fine. My dd, at 10, just passed 5' and still weighs about 82 lbs. That's what she weighed last year at this time!! She just got taller and stayed the same weight. Go figure. And she still doesn't eat all that great. But she is healthy and has lots of energy. Maybe it might be time to check out a new pediatrician.

 

[RitaZ.]

She used to strap him in the chair, get food in his mouth and then turn on the vacuum cleaner to scare him into swallowing. Thank goodness people don't do that these days.

OMG!!!! That was cruel!!!!!! This is the same generation of parents that has delusions of having been perfect parents.

One thing that you may want to try is Pediasure (I think that's the name), it's for kids. Just try giving him about an ounce to drink several times during the day until he finishes the can. It's just a thought.

My oldest was very thin when he was that age, it drove me nuts. Eventually, his appetite improved when he was about 8. His doctor never mentioned that DS should put weight on though. In fact, I would bring my concerns to his attention and he would say, "Oh yes, he looks malnourished to me".

Why don't you just see the NP from now on?

 

[mum4jenn]

I can understand what your dh is feeling. I would make sure you keep records of when you make office visits just in case. That way you have proof of seeing a Dr. and if anyone ever does try to report you then you can tell them if you were starving your child you would not have had regular appts with the Dr.It might also be a good idea to make up a folder with the records and maybe some info about your family memberes sizes ,weights,etc. There is so much of this kind of thing REALLY going on these days the Dr. is probably just trying to be sure. I know I have seen very small children before and without knowing anything about them I do think things about what kind of home life do they have. I would not totally freak out about this but I would have a family history/record of Dr visits handy just in case.

I agree that children will eat when hungry enough. Does he eat fench fries or chicken fingers?? There were times when dd was at that age that I thought she would turn into a chicken finger she ate them so much.

I might also look into seeing a specialist. I am in NO WAY saying that your child has an eating disorder but if a specialist looked into it and your family history at least that could be ruled out and you would have written proof of it also.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Where does he sit on his growth chart for ht. & wt.???? That is your indicator. Is his curve progressing normally?

Currently my 7yodd is on growth hormones (we are at a year now). She also suffers from constipation due to her poor eating. The constipation keeps her eating poor. It is a vicious cycle.

So anyway on Monday I have an appt. with the gastroenterologist/nutritionist. In all honesty if your pedatrician thinks this is a serious issue you should be seeing a specialist.

I have a dd with problems and getting weighed every 2 months is ridiculous unless of course he is losing weight, and his curve is spiraling down. If that is the case I would seek the advice of a specialist.

As far as getting him to eat, I'll let you know. I have not found that secret out YET!

 

[Melora]

I have had small kids every single time! I never had a kid weigh more than 19 pounds at year and my now (taller than me) 15 year old was only about 21 pounds when she hit 2. I have a 3 year old now who only weighs about 26 pounds.

My oldest (who is in the Air Force now) was SO small all his life. Shortest kid every single year! When he hit 16 he was only about 5'2. Now 2 years later hes pushing 5' 10 (6 of those inches in less than a year) but I never thought I would see the day!

Please change docters! Theres nothing wrong with being little/small/petite etc! I had a midwife while I pregnant with DS 8 who thought my blood pressure was high at 120/80 and would not stop being worried about it. Some medical people just seem to latch onto certain things and won't let it go.

My step daugher who is 11 almost 12 is the same size as her 8 year old brother. Dont worry about it!!! Try to find someone who won't bug you about it! You will feel worlds better!

 

[2angelsinheaven]

Wow toughy! My goddaughters, Madison who will be 4 on May, 10th and Faith who will be 3 on April 21st are both stuck at 27.5 pounds... I know TINY. BUT, the Dr said ok for their height. They are both picky! However their father is on WIC and after reading the serving sizes for children their age I guess they eat close to what they should. Here are some guidelines I got from the food chart they gave him....

Meat - 2 to 3 servings a day:
1-2oz cooked meat (or 2 tbsp pb, 1 egg, 1/4 cup tuna)
for total of 3-4oz a day for 2-3yr olds

Milk/Cheese- 4 Servings a day:
1/2 cup milk or yogurt
3/4oz cheese
1oz. processed cheese
1/2 cup pudding
3/4 cup ice cream

Fruit Group: 2 -4 servings a day
1/2 cup 100% juice
1/2 medium fruit
1/4 cooked fruit

Vegtables: 3-5 servings a day
1/4 cup cooked or chopped raw
1/2 cup leafy
1/2 cup vegtable juice

Bread/Cereal/Pasta: 6 to 8 servings a day
1/2 slice bread
1/4 cup cooked cereal, rice, pasta
2 plain crackers
1/2 cup dry cereal
1/2 waffle
1/4 hamburger bun or roll

I think American's oversize meals (I am guilty of this) therefore we think our children don't eat enough. You could statisfy the fruit group with one cup of juice a day (average sippy cup is a little larger than this)... same with veggies (v8, or carrot juice which is sweet). Couple of crackers would statisfy some of the breads, and if he is into pb/jelly than you could easily do the meat/bread group.

Hope this helped. I got this from the food chart given to us by WIC and The Florida Health Department. If you need a copy I would be happy to get one and mail it to you. Maybe it's time for a second opinion. I am not sure how tall your son is, if you want to post that we can find out where he is on the growth chart. But it seems to me he is not terribly small, as Madi and Faith are only 27.5 pounds at ages almost 3/4.

 

[shortbun]

My friend had same thing happen-doctor and all. She switched
doctors, kept snak food(healthy ones) out all the time for her
DS and he got used to eating on the run. She made him chocolate milkshakes with protein powder in them and taught
him to drink from a straw. He is 15, still small but still with the
energy and still eating on the run. The biggest obstacle for him
was school. At school, you have to eat when the food is presented and he was often too busy to eat. He finally got the
hang of it and he had some very understanding teachers who
allowed him to eat in the classroom. Good luck. I would consider
consulting with another pediatrician, explain the "problem" and
go from there. Just keep putting it out there for him to eat.

 

[2angelsinheaven]

Forgot to mention, you can always try ENSURE shakes if you are worried, my main concern would be his vitamins/nutrients, not the amount of food he eats as I said in my other post, kiddos that age need only a small amount. Does he take a multi vitamin? There are ensure or similar shakes for kids that will fill him up and give him what he needs. How much does he drink a day, maybe he is filling up on milk, juices?

One other hint, The last family I nannied for had a horrible time getting little ones to eat, we tried letting them cook with us (not hot stuff, but mixing, etc) and this worked. Even resorted to "playing" with foods, ie; the airplane/hanger, etc to get them to eat. Be Creative see what works for your son. And don't let the Dr make you feel bad, you obviously love/care for your son for trying to help him. Do what you feel is right and best wishes!!

 

[GreenEyes0205]

How about getting him his very own little table & chair? I had one when my boys were small. I put it in the living room & popped on a video for them while they ate. They also did their coloring, activities, etc. on it. When their cousins came over for dinner, all the kids sat there & they were very happy that they had their own table. Although I would see a new doctor for an additional opinion, I wouldn't worry too much. Seems like he has the energy to last him the day. Good luck!!

 

[luv2nascar]

it looks like you have a daughter also just put his food in front of her and tell him he should not eat her food under no circumstances
keep repeating that he can't have what ever it is
I would sit down and eat some too
I guarantee if its something he'll eat he will snatch it up and eat it
kids aren't as smart as they think they are

 

[pjlla]

I may be stepping in the hotseat by saying this, but..... I disagree with the "letting them eat on the run" statement. First of all it could potentially be a choking hazard if it is solid food. Secondly, you are setting up bad habits. While I certainly understand not making a big "sit down meal" out of every snack, I don't think that kids benefit greatly from learning toeat while they play/work/watch tv, etc. Most weight management programs will tell you that eating while reading/watching tv is a VERY bad habit (one that I am guilty of myself).

Please be assured that I understand your concerns. My nephew turned 3 last November and currently only weighs about 25 pounds. He is the tiniest three year old I have ever seen! He is, however proportional all over. And his mother is constantly concerned/worried that he isn't eating enough. But I certainly agree with other posters that a normal, healthy child will eat when he needs to. I've never heard of a preschooler starving him/herself to death!!

Change doctors if he is making you worry that much. At the very least, get a second opinion from another pediatrician. Good luck...............................P

 

[aprilgail2]

My 4 1/2 year old hovers between 29 and 30 pounds right now, she is tiny but her Dr says don't force her to eat, be sure to give her a vitamin every day and just wait it out, it will improve someday. She will go one day just eating a peice of toast and a glass of milk for the whole day then days like today she ate some chicken, 5 ribs, rice and chocolate pudding already and its only 2:30....I started cutting out everything she would pick on during the day that was junk but it really didn't improve her meals so I just let her eat when she wants (not junk but if she asks for an apple right at dinner time I gladly give it to her because that is better for her than what she would pick out of the plate to eat for dinner).

 

[disykat]

My oldest had weight problems. He was failing to thrive as an infant. When we put him totally on formula at 6 weeks, he started drinking twice the recommended amounts for his age. My pediatrician kept telling me to feed him less at the same time I was having to bring him in for weight checks because he was underweight! Thank goodness my dad, who is a retired pediatrician, kept reassuring me to stop measuring and feed him as much as he wanted!

He continued drinking way more formula than recommended, loved solid foods and I had to start ordering him kids meals in restaurants at barely age one- because he would literally eat all my food! Every three months we still had to go in to have him weighed. I kept telling my pediatrician that my dh was small. I was 5'5" and fairly chunky - but dh is 5'7" and probably weighed 125 at the time.

We stopped the weight checks at 2 1/2 when the pediatrician came to the hospital to meet DS#2 and met dh and the rest of our families. Suddenly the next vist he said he was fine.

He's eleven now and I just bought him his first pair of pants that aren't slims! I hope my skinny boys who love to eat are able to stay that way - what a problem to have.

 

[clh2]

My DD was 30 pounds at her 3 yr old appointment, and 34 pounds at her 4 yr old appointment. Her pediatrician was not concerned. Brought up to the ped. that DD snored loudly most of the night. Ped. suggested she visit an ENT. The tonsils were so enlarged that DD was only barely eating enough to get by, because apparently large tonsils make swallowing food hard to do.

After her tonsils came out, she put 10 pounds on before she was 5. About 2 weeks after her tonsils come out, DD became a much better eater. Still picky, but at least she started to eat.

It just might be another thing to consider...

Good Luck!

 

[thatchicktrish]

My DS was the same and still is picky as all get out at age 7. He was about 25lbs at his 2 year check-up and the doctor didn't say anything about it. I was the one who asked the doc about his weight because he was tall for his age, just very thin. The doctor said according to his growth chart he is gaining weight, just a little slowly, and since he was tall for his age, it would be harder to notice weight gain. He said if I was worried I could give him that pediatric drink, like Ensure for adults (pedia-sure?) but that he didn't necessarily need it. I think genetics does play a role because my DS has the same exact body shape as my DH did at this age, my DH was thin as a stick all the way up until puberty. I also told the doctor about my son not eating the foods I would make and he said if you find something that he likes...give it to him as much as he will eat it, offer other foods and give him an opportunity to try other things but don't force it, he will get sick of eating the same things sooner or later. He said "one day, he is gonna start eating and you better watch out! because he won't probably stop!!!" lol

My only advice is about geting him to slow down to eat, the important thing is to get him used to sitting down for meals, even for just 10 minutes, make him sit there even if he isn't eating, over time it will become routine. I offered snacks only if my DS made a real attempt at eating his meal, so if he didn't he try a bite of breakfast, refused even a lick of yogurt, pushed away the plate and pouted...by lunch he was ready to get his grub on! In our house all meals are at the table, it's a rule of mine. It becomes almost an instinctive thing, "we're at the table so now we are eating", he learned that if he didn't even try to eat that he wouldn't be offered a snack so he knew he had to eat while it was there. He won't starve, he will eat when he is hungry, I wouldn't worry too much over it.

Good luck!!!