Help me help my husband see the magic!!

[Honeybee1983]

Soooo I am sure I am not the only one who's spouse doesn't quite get the magic of all things Disney. Am I right in that? See for me, Disney has been an instant love affair since I was a little tot when I went to Disneyland for the very first time with my parents. My husband never got the chance to go when he was a kid at all...poor, poor little boy version of my hubby! So, fast forward to now and here's me, STILL completely in LOVE with all things Disney, and even more so now since I see MY three little ones also becoming completely enamored too! I seriously cry happy little tears when I think about it...and I sobbed like a baby when we had to leave Dland last year! lol BUT my husband, although he thinks it's fun, doesn't get it. When I tell him it is REALLY the happiest place on earth for me and that I would rather go to Disneyland than anywhere else on the planet, he thinks I am crazy and actually said it's kind of childish and he's not even sure if that's healthy. ummmm...ok....they don't call it "the happiest place on earth for nothing! lol LOTS of people feel the same way...lots and lots of other ADULTS!! Luckily, he loves me and the kids a lot and we are going again in May, BUT he told me to not expect that we are making this an annual thing by any means. I feel like I need to go at LEAST annually, you know? I mean why not if we can?! I love it, our kids love it and they are only little and really able to believe in the magic for so long! SO, here is what I need help with...for those who have had the same problem, how did YOU show your spouse the magic? Anything you did to make it extra special or fun?? I know last time we went in April in the middle of super-busy spring break season, and he HATES crowds, so that was a big part of the reason he wasn't feeling it. Our youngest was a little baby last time too and was completely exhausting, plus, we also stayed quite far away (Disney blocks are FAR!!)...this time it is slated to be dead (first week of May) , our baby is a year older and much easier to deal with, and we are staying at Hojos...so I already have all that going for us, but what else? Any suggestions would be MUCH appreciated! I am a desperate Disney freak on a mission here! HA!

 

[Goofy_Mom]

If your hubby is anything like mine, he's only going to change his mind on his terms. Anything you say/do is cancelled out because you're not a person, you're his wife. However, you could plan something for your kids like BBB. Make sure he sees the work that's done and the transformation that happens followed by the look on your princess's face. You could do a dessert Fantasmic thing. The next step is make sure he interacts with CM's of all kinds. Send him to get the food and baby swap passes, get a map from a sweaper. Then, soon after your DL trip, go to a different amusement park and pick it apart. Compare it to DL in everything. "It sure is hot, you'd think they'd put up shade umbrealls like Disney does." "Not a lot of food choices like Disney has" "Gee that guy was awfully rude, not like the Disney CMs" Don't do it all the time, cause then it comes off as anyoing. Just enough that he can start to see the Disney difference on his own.

 

[pattyduke34]

Believe me I know how you feel! I am in the same boat. I did not find Disneyland until 2004 and I am obbessed! My husband thinks I am nuts. He does not understand at all! So we took a trip in end of Nov, first of Dec. and I am already going through withdraw! I asked him if he would like to go again first week in May and his reply was "We just went there, can we find somewhere else?" What! I told him there was no where else!!!! So I asked all my friends if they would split a trip and one of them agreed. So I am going to go without him!!! lol

 

[BensDaddy]

I feel your pain.

I'm a Disney freak. Loved it as a kid. Visited a few times as an adult, but it really became special when we had our little boy. I took him to Disney World when he was 3, Disneyland when he was 4, a Disney Cruise when he was 5.

A few weeks ago I mentioned going again to my wife and she said, "Has anyone ELSE about had enough of Mickey Mouse?"

Ouch! Dagger to the heart! Well I went away hurt and dejected and booked our spring break vacation to St. Louis instead. (meh.)

A few days later at dinner my little boy said, "Daddy, when can we go on Mickey's boat again because I really miss him". Well, that night I was back on the internet again and basically told the wife that if she wasn't interested in going we'll make it a boys trip. (our marriage has been a little rocky lately...) When I found some good rates at a deluxe resort her mood improved slightly and she admitted that when she goes on vacation she wants to stay someplace nicer than home. So a value resort and theme parks all week didn't appeal to her.

So it turns out I just needed to appeal to all of the members of the family, not just the little guy. That means Dole Whip for Daddy, a nice hotel for Mama, Cars-land for little man.

We're still going to St. Louis over Spring Break, but only 9 months until our next Disney vacation!!

Now... how do I talk her into another cruise?

 

[izzystout]

When DH and I got married he did not understand my obsession at all. He also had never gone to Disney as a child. His first visit was for a Grad night and he didn't get how it was any better than any other amusement park.
I was shocked and appalled. In the six years we have been together we have only been able to go once and thankfully he had a better time than he did his first trip. But he still does not fully understand. We are going to be taking our DS for the first time in may and I am so excited. I have been waiting patiently to take him because DH would have nothing to do with the idea of taking him before he was three. .
But now and I am planning and trying to get DH excited about it. For me it has been helping to get him to realize it is going to be great to see the magic through our DS's eyes. Also I try not to overwhelm him with my enthusiasm. Its hard but it helps.
Sorry I don't have great advice. But I think we are both lucky to have DH's that put up with out craziness.

 

[kirstie101]

I was lucky in that DH did grow up going to Disneyland so it did hold some wonderful memories for him. But he was by no means an addict. So that helped me get him there for our daughters first trip. After that I let the magic, well, work its magic! As he saw DD enteracting with characters and cast members he fell in love with it too! Oh and talk about falling in love....seeing DD in the Jedi Training Academy this past trip was a huge highlight for him. He still talks about it. You just kinda have to let the magic develop by making special memories for him. We have been lucky and have had only positive experiences on our trips so much so that he has commented many times "Only at Disney would that happen." We always go in the fall so crowds are low and I know that helps cause he is not a crowd guy. We also stay right across the street so the walk back to our hotel at night is minimal. These are two big things that keep him from getting irritated and allow him to focus on the positive stuff. We also travel with family so we always get a chance to leave the kids for a couple hours and go do the adult rides and enjoy being big kids for awhile. We've gone every year since DD was almost 2 and what started out as 2 days in the park is now 4! I can't talk him into any extra short trips during the year but thats ok. He loves it enough to do one big trip a year with us!

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

DH jokes about my obsession with Disney. But I know he's secretly hooked too when he hums the Celebrate You song the whole drive home. You've already fixed the less magical aspects of your last trip (location, crowds). Maybe out him in charge of video taping or photographing some magical moments (kids meeting a character, watching the parade, etc) so he can focus on the magic in the kids faces. That may sway him. We have som amazing photos of the kids reaction to the parades and you can see the magic in their eyes. If he's just watching the parade and not watching the kids he may have missed it.

 

[kailuagirl]

My DH refused to go to DL until we had our daughter, she is now 4 and she's been 3 times He loves taking her there and seeing the joy in her face and he has a great time to. For us, we also give him a vacation when we go and he gets to go to Vegas for a couple days, so that's his Disneyland, but he doesn't mind the real thing, I think the Vegas think is an added bonus. Maybe find somekind of added bonusi n the area?

Good luck!!!

 

[DizMe]

I've just accepted that my dh doesn't feel the magic the way the kids and I do, so we go without him sometimes. He will go once a year (which he says is too often) but we like to go more often than that. I, in particular, need my Disney getaways so I go about 3 times a year without dh OR the kids!! It's my therapy. My dad has Alzheimer's and cancer and lives with me. I spend the majority of my time taking care of people and so Disney appeals to me because it's close and I can indulge myself for a while without having to think about anyone else. It makes me happy and I feel rejuvenated, which I think is good for my whole family!

I am lucky to have good friends who also need a Disney trip and don't have anyone to go with so we go together! My oldest dd, who is grown up, goes with me too sometimes.

 

[23bw]

You already are off to a great start. May weather should be pleasant and crowds won't be insane yet. If I were you I would try the following, preferably all within the same trip.

1) Stay onsite at a DLR property. If not your entire stay, try one for a few days. The GCH would be a good choice.
2) Do a character meal that would delight your girls. Lunch at AGs?
3) Have a few nice sit down dinners at places he would enjoy. Some place you get to relax a bit and get served. Take a break from counter-service type places or buffets.
4) Do some rides/shows he might enjoy. Alladin show, Star Tours, etc.
5) And back away from the “why don’t you get it” attitude towards him if you are constantly reminding him of that.

Basically make the trip as pleasant as possible for everyone, not just the kids. He may come around after seeing how enjoyable it can be for the whole family. If this doesn’t work…..he might be a lost cause. Find a new husband?

 

[myxdvz]

I have the same problem. DH doesn't have the bug... So much so that when we bought into DVC, only "I" bought into DVC, i.e., my name, my money, my deed. I told him I will will it the kids

DH hasn't been to Disney until he was an adult (34). We first went to WDW as a couple. Then in 2010, we brought our kids there for the first time (when I bought the DVC), in 2011, I got him to do DCL, and in 2012 - we did Disneyland.

He thinks every year is too much, but we've done different things every year so he hasn't noticed (WDW, Cruise, DL). I also make sure that I don't overwhelm him. He hates crowds so we go off season. He doesn't like to plan so all he does is (pay) and come, I do all the planning. I try and do parks and non-park days (swimming, etc) or at least have a leisurely pace because he hates commando style trips (so no rope drops, FP runners, etc).

This year, we moved from PPH to VGC then to the Embassy Suites at LAX (that was our non-park/flight day). First thing he noticed was, "we have to carry our own bags?" I told him he's just been spoiled by Disney. So I think he's starting to get it little by little.

Worst case, I told him I will go with just the girls (and mom) and we'll do a Girls Only Trip.

 

[pixiewings71]

I think it's good to do things other than DL as well. For us, the girls and I love DL and if we could we would go monthly (in fact, when we could we did, see my sig for more info lol), for DBF he's more over it but he still goes with us. When we went last April he did ask if we could do something besides DL so we also did things he wanted to do, like go to the beach. We went to the beach again on a later trip as well and it was great. I think it's important for my DBF to know his wants are important to us as well. He also knows that the girls are growing up, they won't want to do things like this with us forever so we are on the same page in regards to enjoying it now and later we can do more grown up trips.
It's important for your DH to make memories, good memories that will make him want to go back. It's also important that you understand he may never change his mind.

 

[SGDisneyFam]

I feel bad for you.

First time I had ever been to DL was March of 2010. It was with my wife, son who was 3 at the time and daughter who was 14 months at the time.

I was like your husband, and didn't really think much of it before hand and never thought I would enjoy myself.

That all changed before we even got to DL. We were staying at the GCH and took the Disneyland Resort Express Bus from LAX to the hotels. The bus stopped outside the DLH first and my son exclaimed "Look Dad we're at Disneyland!" We had never told him much about DL, we just told him we were going to where Mickey lives.

Got all checked in and went to the DCA for a couple hours where our son rode on the ladybugs in Bugsland. This was the first ride he had ever eagerly went on.

I'm the type of person that HATES HATES HATES crowds. I hate traffic on the highway, I hate going to the mall within 6 months of Christmas etc etc.

For some strange unknown reason, probably all of the Pixie Dust, crowds don't bother me at DL. I'm perfectly fine meandering around shoulder to shoulder with fellow DL'ers.

We had a room above WOD, over looking DTD and right above a kettle corn vending cart. That smell will forever remind me of DL. (My wife even found a salted caramel air freshener at bath and body works that smells almost exactly alike)

I genuinely sad to leave. So much more that my wife and I went back in May of that year for our anniversary and had another magical time, and then back again February 2011 with the family, then May 2011 for our anniversary again, and in 40 Sleeps we will be heading back there again with the family.

It will become magical for him. Just at his own time.

 

[kkmcan]

The magic kind of grew with my dh. he definitely didn't see a reason to go again the year after we just went but each trip has turned out to be so different that he gets excited for whatever "new" experiences we can come up with. I always try to research for stuff we've never seen or done and then we kind of make a list and do those when we go.

I also incorporate some "us" time even if only for an hour while we are there. Our kids are old enough that we can check out the closest bar (in DTD or DCA) while the kids ride a couple of rides or get a snack at the candy shop. DH loves this!

 

[LisainCalifornia]

My husband thinks my Disneyland Obsession is sort of cute, but he isn't (and hasn't ever been) into it like me. This is the reason that me and my girls have AP's, and he and my 17 year old son don't. I think that neither one of them would be heartbroken if they never went again! My husband knows this is "my thing" and he just tells me to go and have a good time with my girls. We do go as a family every once in a while, but it is becoming less and less often.

We made many happy memories at Disneyland together as a family, though--and those we both will always have. Like the year we stood dead center in front of the castle to see the fireworks (in the years past we always were walking around during fireworks, and never really made it a priority) and we were all wowed as a family. After the finale I remember looking at him and he was clapping and smiling so big, and we did a big family group hug. It was a perfect moment.

Then there was the time we were both determined during the parade to get Snow White to wave to our daughter who was 4 and Snow White crazy. We both made fools of ourselves jumping up and down and screaming "Snow White, Snow White"--and she finally looked while we pointed down to Samantha and Snow White blew her a kiss. Sami looked at us with such pure joy that we both started tearing up.

Goofy's Kitchen for dinner was always a great experience for my kids when they were little, too--and my husband loved seeing their expressions when the characters came up to talk with them.

Now my kids are all getting older, but my 15 year is even a bigger Disneyland fan than I am--and it is a totally bonding experience for me and her. My husband encourages me to take the girls for visits there, and is happy for us. This sort of grew over the years, and I found I kind of like not having to worry whether he and my son are having a good time or not.

Just give him some time, and yes--where your stay is important. I personally love staying on property if possible. It really enhances the trip for us as a family, and makes it seem more like a real vacation. It may never be your husband's cup of tea, but that doesn't mean you can't go to DL with your kids.

 

[drag n' fly]

It was like pulling teeth to get dh to make his first Disney trip (hence my user name) I had to drag him on the plane to get him there. Now I think he has sniffed far too much pixie dust because even though he will ultimately never love it as much as me he really truly enjoys every trip now. He loves the rides and all the treats and how happy it makes us so it makes him happy also. We feel Disney is a very good value for the dollar. Like with any man baby steps always work best and before ya know it.....he's making Goofy voices at the dinner table....easy peasy!!

 

[QueenBeeMB]

My DBF is the same. He went for the first time at 30 second time at 31 and we are going again in Feb and he is now 32.

He thinks I am nuttier than a squirrel. He doesnt understand any part of my love for disney and DLR. I have to plan our trips months in advance, as cheap as possible, and convince him of everything. This will be our first year having APs and he has agreed to multiple trips. But he has rules hahaha. Its a trade off for most of the trips, we do what I want, we do what he wants, and so on. We drive because thats what he likes, and we eat to fit his requests, and I get to do everything I want in the park. But if he pipes up with a request I am sure to jump on it quick to keep him happy haha

DBF complains before we get there, and tries to talk me out of it. But of course I plan everything, make sure it is all paid for, and once that is done he cant say no any more once he steps in the gates and a coffee or ice cream in his hand, his mood changes.

I also have recently talked him into pin trading. really more for my benefit, but if he finds a pin he likes he will buy it and stick it on his lanyard so he is starting to find the fun in it.

good luck with your DH, my best advice is to find what he does like and play off that. if he has suggestions or ideas roll with them. maybe even see if he wants to be a part of the planning. reading reviews for restaurants or hotels. or picking shows to see while in the park or fun things to do with the kids (if you two have them). I found that when I started letting DBF make decisions he got into it a little more because it wasnt just MY vacation it was OURS then.

 

[teacups]

(Promise him things in the room after the kids are asleep)




Get your minds out of the gutter!
I was talking about MICKEY ICE CREAM SANDWICHES! yummy!

 

[-KT-]

Most of the people I work with think Disney is only for little kids and that they couldnt do more than a day there. I was lucky growing up because both my parents are Disney freaks. My dad has gone almost every year since it opened and still loves planning his twice yearly trips.Him and my mom have been celebrating their anniversary there for the last 10 years. I'm lucky that my boyfriend also enjoys going to DL but I think going too much will burn him out.

 

[Honeybee1983]

WOW!! I just go grocery shopping and I come back to this?! HA! What an outpour of GREAT suggestions!!

Teacups~ YOU are hilarious...I think we should be friends!

QueenbeeMB~ Great suggestions. I like the idea of getting him interested in something he enjoys there! I am hoping since Startours will be open this time, that he will find a great love for that! He's really into Starwars!

Drag n fly~ So where exactly do I find the pixie dust? I would like to thoroughly dunk my husband in it before we leave! I am thinking as he sees more and more what a great time the four loves of his life (me and his 3 little princesses of course!) have there each time we go, the more willing he will become. crossing fingers!

LisainCalifornia~ I have been pondering maybe going with just my two oldest girls next time. My husband had suggested it for this time, but then we decided to make it a family trip. It's good to know that even if HE doesn't want to go each year, at least he is ok with me making it happen for me and the kids!

kkmcan~ I think getting excited about the new stuff is a great idea! He sort of has this mentality right now that he's seen it, so why are we going again? There will be two brand new rides, plus he didn't get to do splash (which he will LOVE being a thrillseeker!!), so we have that going for us too! Next time we will get to look forward to carsland. I also think the "us" time at Disneyland is a fantastic idea! We did get to do that a little bit last time because my parents came along, but we were soooo exhausted it was only sort of fun...we probably both really would have rather slept at the time! HA! This time we do have some family coming again, so I may try to squeal in a "date night @ disneyland" sort of deal again!

SGdisneyfam~ Glad the magic found you! It sounds like your family has a blast together on your trips!! So thers IS hope for my husband yet, huh?!

Pixiewings71~ Thanks for the suggestions to do other things too! We actually are! we decided that even though it will cost more, we are going to rent a car for the whole week and we are going to go to Hollywood and the beach too. He will really enjoy doing both of those things. I think we are even going to split up our disney days this time and do Hollywood/beach in the middle. That should make it even more fin for him. Not as much commando alllll day for a lot of days stuff!

myxdvz~ HA! It does sound like the magic of disney is catching your hubby a bit!! There is hope for all of them yet! Worse comes to worse, I am thinking: Join DisDivas and leave him home!!

23bw~ Oh I would so LOVE to stay onsite, however, money is a HUGE deal to my husband. If something is unreasonably expensive to him, the entire trip sucks...NOT kidding! So I have compromised and found a very close hotel with a great deal! We did goofy's kitchen last time and loved it, I think we will do minnie's this time! He LOVES breakfast and buffets too, so that should be perfect! We will check out Startours for sure, I think he will love that and I want to do CaptainEO this time too. I think he will really enjoy that as well. Thanks for the reminder on backing off his case about being a downer too. Important to remember that! And HA!!! Loved the find a new husband comment! Made me laugh so hard!

DizMe~ You know, I have been beginning to think that maybe that will be me too. And that's OK, right? As fun as it is as a family, this is MY thing and my kids too, and if he doesn't fall head over heels into it, it's not the end of te world...he can just stay home next time...WITH the baby!

Kailuagirl~ aww that's wonderful! It's so nice to hear the "success" stories out there! I am really, realllly hoping since it will be MUCH slower this time that hubby will really get to see the immense joy the place brings to the kids and me! And yea, we are going to actually go to Hollywood and the beach too! Funny snippet also, hubby loves vegas and so I am thinking of a short tip later in the year for just the two of us.

3minnies1mickey~ GREAT suggestions, thank you! Hoping the joy will be running rampant and so very obvious for DH to see!!

kirstie101~ It's so great to hear that staying close and low crowds makes a difference. I am thinking it really will for us too!!

izzystout~ Crossing fingers hard for YOU that your dh finds the magic through your son's eyes!

Bensdaddy~ Ahhh smart! Appeal to all and it's better! So sorry your wife isn't into it as much as you and your son are too. Hoping she falls head-first into a vat of pixie dust for you too!