Help me help my DH quit smoking

[Shugardrawers]

DH has been a heavy smoker for 30+ years now. He has told me several times he will never quit, that he's gotta die sometime. I knew he smoked heavily before I married him so I haven't complained. I smoke too. I've been thinking about quitting but I know from experience being around someone who smokes makes it near impossible for me to stop. That influence is pretty strong. Anyway, DH comes home the other day and announces he no longer enjoys smoking and is going to quit when his carton runs out (should be 2 or 3 more days). DH is a real type A kind of guy. He can be difficult on the best of days although never to me. Anyway, he's so hooked I am afraid the next few weeks or months are going to be hard on us both. Especially since I'm going to quit when he does. He says he doesn't need Zyban or any kind of other help. I think he really should try something to help him out but he won't budge. Who's got experience in this area and can give me some pointers on helping him and dealing with him in the process? I love the man and want to stay married to him but I fear this will really test my commitment!

 

[Rozzie]

My dh quit about 5 yrs ago using wellbutrin (zyban). He also quit alcohol and coffee in the same day. He said he was afraid he would lite up if he was drinking alcohol or coffee since he always put those 2 together. Well it worked, he never picked up drinking again, but he and I are coffee addicts. He was really committeed to quiting...i really think that is the difference from times before. your dh has to be sick of smoking and want to quit. I never smoked so I can't even imagine how hard it must be. Do you know of any friends/family that have bad health from smoking? Sometimes I talk with my patients at work about that, and it seems to help them see the seriousness of it.
Good luck to the both of you...I am so glad to hear you decided to quit, maybe he will follow your lead? pixie dust and good thoughts for you

 

[ellyn2000]

I was a very devoted smoker and I was able to quit using the nicotine patches. I could not wear them 24 hours---had to take it off before bedtime. I had urges but was able to live through them. I'll tell you from experience, it is very hard to quit, but when you have been smoke free for a week or more you will be AMAZED at how FREE you feel. No more stinky car or house. No more sneaking around because you're ashamed for certain people to see you smoke. It's the best feeling in the world. My dr. told me that when someone stops smoking their body almost immediately starts working to repair damage done by smoke and nicotine. He also told me to never stop quitting---meaning if I broke down and smoked not to consider it failure but start over the next day. I finally got tired of starting over and stuck with it. I wish you and DH the very best. It's really worth it.

 

[DawnCt1]

Some people just make up their minds and that's it. I have heard that lots of Vitamin C, fresh fruit, etc helps the transition. Watch for NicVax. Its the new anti smoking vaccine. It did real well in the first phase of clinical trials and has a ways to go for approval. It blocks nicotine from reaching the brain.

 

[snoopy]

I quit smoking 15 months ago. For me, the way to go was cold turkey. I'm gonna be honest with you, it wasn't until I hit the year mark that I started to feel myself again. The cravings began to diminish little by little, and now, 15 months later, I rarely to never think about having a cigarette. One thing to consider is your husband probably will gain weight. I don't know if this is a concern or not, for me it definately was. I wish someone had told me to just let it happen and not worry about it. I tried to combat it by dieting at the same time, not a good plan. Best to just let yourself eat and gain weight and worry about it after the year anniverary of your quit. I finally gave into that theory, and I'm now starting to take off the 40 pounds I gained (yup, 40! 15 down, 25 more to go.....the good news is that it does become easier to shed the weight after that first year, or at least it has been for me. The pounds are coming off pretty easily now, all that is required is exercise at least 30 minutes, for at least 4 days per week)

In the early days of my quit, some things I found helpful to combat cravings:

Brushing my teeth
Changing my routine (i.e., I always had my cigarette with coffee -- I changed to tea, at least until I felt comfortable enough to know I wouldn't quit.....I also stopped drinking alcohol completely during the first 6 months of my quit)

The benefits he will feel after a year are amazing. The changes are very subtle at first, but after about a year, you wake up and say, "dang, I feel good!" I wish you and your husband the best in your quest to quit smoking.

 

[caitycaity]

when i quit, i was primarily motivated by the fact that dh (we were only dating then) said he really couldn't deal with me smoking. his mom is a smoker and he told me about all the health problems he had because of that.

this might be a sort of pathetic revelation, but if i was not with him, i would probably still be smoking.

i quit cold turkey but it was really hard and i had a couple of lapses. i haven't smoked in several years now but sometimes i will still have the urge too. it is a very powerful addiction.

good luck to you and your dh.

 

[snoopy]

I also wanted to give you this link, the forums on quitnet were invaluable to me when I first stopped smoking:

http://quitnet.com/

 

[MAC3]

I am an ex-smoker that used the same line as your DH. I quit because my dr told me I wouldn't be around to see my DD graduate HS.

That put things in perspective for me. But DH is still smoker (it is quite disgusting) but hey it's his habit and his time to quit will come too.

That said, you do need to disassociate yourself from the things you associate smoking with, if even only until you get through the first couple of months.

I love coffee but switched to tea, quit drinking and started chewing gum. The gum actually became a habit, but I have since quit that too.

The one thing you have to keep telling yourself is cravings will be there (I still get them sometimes and I dispise cigarettes and I quit 8 yrs ago) it's weird, but you have to remember that this too shall pass and start doing something else to keep yourself busy.

My favorite thing to do in this situation would be to dump out drawers and reorganize them. Sock draws, junk drawers, it kept my mind and hands occupied and they passed.

You also have to remember with each day that passes that if you were to start smoking again you will have to start for the beginning again. That was a deterrent for me. Having to go through those first few weeks was tough, but hang in there.

I wish you both luck.

 

[year2late]

I am an intensive care unit nurse that also is the daughter of a long time (now reformed smoker) smoker with emphysema.


Dying of emphysema and lung disease is a nasty thing. You don't have emphysema one moment and then all of a sudden it creeps up on you (like reaching critical mass) and you all of a sudden reach the point when it affects your daily life. Unfortunatly, by the time the severe symptoms set in stopping smoking helps you feel less crappy, but cannot take that level of lung disease away.


Once the lung disease like emphysema sets in, you are screwed. Your life will revolve around your disease forever. You surely can lead a productive life after the onset of emphysema, but everything in your life will revolve around the need to breathe.

No flu shot? Now you will have to worry that the flu may lead to a pneumonia that ends up with you being on a ventilator. If your lung disease is bad, and you don't die from the pneumonia, you may be stuck on a ventilator with a tracheostomy for the rest of your life. If that doesn't scare you - your insurance will make you live in a nasty subacute facility that allows patients on breathing machines. Since those are few and far between, you will likely have to move far away from family. Guess what, the kicker is that when they put you on the breathing machine (ventilator) you may STILL feel like you are fighting for your breath.

The good news is, once you are hospitalized you don't need to stand in line for a flu shot.

I am not even going to address the cardiac issue as it relates to smoking except to say it is the first best (with immediate positive effect) thing you can do to prevent a heart attack. Other things go to lifestyle changes that would take a while to reap the benifit.

By the way, frequently smokers who are used to a certain level of shortness of breath mistake heart pain "angna" for their usual feeling of breathlessnes, that can cause a dangerous time lage between the onset of a heart attack and seeking medical attention. Really really bad thing.

Like I said. You feel fine now. But the symptoms of emphysema can really creep up on you. With my mom, she had a chest xray prior to surgery showing her lungs were fine. A little over a year later she was profoundly short of breath and an her xray at that time bore no resemblence to the first. The progression (for her) was that fast. She now can walk short bits, then has to sit. She takes God knows how many puffers a day to control her symptoms. A medication (prednisone) that could potentially help control the symptoms she can no longer use because of life and death types of complications. She is short of breath alot of the time, but does not qualifiy for oxygen, that certainly would help the quality of her life.

Still wanna smoke?

Sugardrawers, as a side note - as an ICU nurse of over 20 years, I will tell you that Type A people with lung disease are the most miserable - they lose all control in their lives and there aren't enough drugs or therapy to get them over it.



(by the way, if anyone here thinks this message is "harsh" I can repost and tell you the "real life" harsh version)

 

[Pin Wizard]

I quit cold turkey 18 or 19 years ago. DH and I were dating at the time. He said...let's quit. I quit and he didn't. Wish he did! He smoked 2 packs a day for years and had a massive heart attack at 38 that killed him. I didn't have any problem when I quit. Found it a lot easier than I expected. I'd say see how it goes and get medical help for it if necessary. Try to avoid the triggers. I know it's impossible to avoid them all. Especially a cup of coffee and a cigarette. I'm sure I avoided places where I was put in the middle of smokers for a while.

I have to say that is one thing I really miss about FL. All public buildings are non-smoking including all restaurants! I'm always complaining in restaurants here. Now I tell them to put me as far away from the smoking section as possible. Good luck!!

 

[ckay87]

Another internet resource. This one is loaded with fantastic articles and a great support forum. www.whyquit.com

They are very much against nicotine replacement (e.g., the patch) and I tend to agree. Better just to get the nicotine out of your system, go through withdrawal, and then MOVE ON. After the physical withdrawal, the rest is psychological and you just gotta deal with that.

I drank a lot and I mean a LOT of water. Someone recommended it and I swear it helped.

I loved snoopy's advice about eating!

I'm 18 months into a quit that I'm determined will last my lifetime. Like someone said, though, you have to realize that you will forever be quitting. This sounds crappy, but you have to treat yourself like a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. You can't ever go back - you can't ever have just one.

My motto - what keeps me quit - is that quitting was such a #@*!-y experience that I don't ever want to do it again.

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by ckay87
I'm 18 months into a quit that I'm determined will last my lifetime. Like someone said, though, you have to realize that you will forever be quitting. This sounds crappy, but you have to treat yourself like a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. You can't ever go back - you can't ever have just one.

This really is the best advice you will ever get. You can never have "just one", because like any addict, you won't be able to stop at one. I actually followed and worked the 12 Steps of Recovery during the first few months of my quit -- the steps apply to any addiction.

 

[Amberle3]

My mother and aunt just quit smoking, it hasn't quite been a month yet. They went for laser therapy and it seems to have worked quite well. They'd been smoking for 50+ years, and the longest either has ever been able to "quit" before was 1 day.

 

[luckywife]

I wish you and your DH all the best in kicking the habit, a VERY hard habit to break.

My mom was a heavy smoker for probably 40 years. She always talked about quitting but unfortunately, she never did. She was diagnosed with lung cancer 3 months after her 58th birthday. She only lived 3 WEEKS after being diagnosed. Two of her last 3 weeks she was in the hospital on oxygen. I wouldn't wish what she went through those last few weeks on anyone! The lung cancer was so far gone by the time we found out, it had spread to her brain and liver. My mom was someone who was always full of energy and loved life. I went from seeing my mom that way to watching her get sicker and sicker with each passing day. When she passed away, she only weighed 85 pounds! She left behind a husband (my dad) of 42 years, three children and three grandchildren. My youngest DS was only 9 months when she died so he will never get to know the wonderful woman she was.

I am not a mean person so I hope you don't take offense to my post. I just wanted you to see how smoking not only affects you, but the people who love you most in this whole world.
After my mom died, my dad gave up smoking cold turkey. He's been smoke free for 15 months. Best of luck to you and your DH. I know you can do it!!!! God Bless.....

 

[Regina]

I quit 26 years ago using the Smokenders program. I haven't touched a cigarette since.

Two things that they taught us really struck home. The first is if you smoke because you have a problem, now you have two problems. The second one is never have that first cigarette.

Good luck to both of you.

 

[Planogirl]

My DH quit smoking this past year and hasn't picked up the habit again. He was a heavy smoker for at least 30 years and still somehow managed to keep from touching the things again which is frankly not what I expected.

His method involved some store bought lozenges and that's it. He did gain quite a bit of weight which has upset him lately but I think that losing some weight is much better than dealing with smoking.

Good luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by snoopy
I quit smoking 15 months ago. For me, the way to go was cold turkey.

Me too! DH still smokes. (we always smoked outside though)

I consider myself a CIG-A-HOLIC. That is what helps me. I know that I will always want to smoke, crave a smoke, and that if I take 1 drag I will be smoking again. I do not want to smoke so I dare not take even 1 drag.