Help!!! Is my vacation ruined?!

[AtTheBeach]

Maybe the dad doesn't really want to go but is just trying to get the trip cancelled?

 

[maxiesmom]

Asking us about rooms and such is fine, but you really need to talk to your boyfriend! He may not want to go once he knows your dad has decided to join the party. If your dbf is ok with dad going along, I would look at getting another room at the Pop for your dad. The idea of you, your dbf, and your dad in one room is rather icky.

I can see it now. You and your dad on seperate beds. Dbf on an air-mattress on the floor. You reach your hand out to give him a little squeeze. Dad bots upright on his bed. "What are you doing? I came along so there would be no funny stuff. Now go to sleep!" Now no one is sleeping and everyone is ticked off. Dad is mad at you for you seeking out your dbf, your dbf is mad at your dad and you, for bringing dad along.

Not a very pleasant vacation. Dad needs a seperate room!

 

[kileybeth]

where oh where has the OP gone? Did she get scared away or is DBF now not so dear or is DDad still being silly.

And are we not inside the 45 day mark now?

 

[Chkysbak]

Not a very pleasant vacation. Dad needs a seperate room!

I agree 100%. Don't change your plans. Call WDW and make him a room only ressie. Make him pay for that. That way it doesn't affect your ressie at all.

Truly sorry for this situation. Good luck in whatever you do

 

[Disneylvr]

I am so sorry this has happened to you and your BF. Honestly, I would just cancel and save up for an even better vacation for next year. Meanwhile use this time to make dad understand that you appreciate his concern but you are a grown up now and do not need his supervision when traveling. Good luck to you!

 

[WildernessBride]

Ok, there was PLENTY of funny business when my BF (now husband) and I went to WDW before we were married. WDW IS very romantic!

I do question, however, the control issues here - even if she IS living at home.

Besides......was the holiday in the planning stages for a while. Why is Dad jumping in now?

It seems to be time for a heart-to-heart talk with Dad.

I guess I was just more innocent than you! You are right, WDW is romantic, I was married there! But I agree, its time for a heart-to-heart with Dad, maybe he'll have a change of heart and see it from the OPs point of view.

 

[chrisw127]

I'd go with two rooms at Pop.

And by the way, I give you credit for trying to respect your father's wishes, even if he isn't being that respectful of yours.

Good luck.

 

[plutolovr]

Slightly OT, but funny nonetheless.

When I was 20 and engaged, I lived at home, my mom, dad, aunt, uncle, sis and bil planned a cruise. I asked if me and my fiance could go and my mom said no because we were not married and could not share a room ourselves. We were fine with that, saving for wedding/marriage and all. Many years later we were talking about that trip and us not being allowed to go, and I mentioned to her that leaving us home "alone" was probably not the smartest thing to do either. She agrees now.

So just because dad wants to go with them won't stop them from doing what they're probably doing already.

 

[lilyv]

Slightly OT, but funny nonetheless.

When I was 20 and engaged, I lived at home, my mom, dad, aunt, uncle, sis and bil planned a cruise. I asked if me and my fiance could go and my mom said no because we were not married and could not share a room ourselves. We were fine with that, saving for wedding/marriage and all. Many years later we were talking about that trip and us not being allowed to go, and I mentioned to her that leaving us home "alone" was probably not the smartest thing to do either. She agrees now.

So just because dad wants to go with them won't stop them from doing what they're probably doing already.

And even if Dad's carefully watching them...and manages to make sure that if he sees even a hint of affection he stops that dead in it's tracks, what's the result? Dad is still creepy, and the 22 year old may just opt for marriage far earlier than was ever a good idea, because then she'll at least get Dad out of her hotel rooms.

 

[Promomx2]

We're going for this summer. We (Me, DH, DS, DD & DDBF). DD will be 22, he her BF are staying in connecting rooms and paying for their room. She's at home, going to college and working part-time. We let BF stayover, he's a marine stationed 250 miles away, but he sleeps in a different room. We let them go away together for weekends. Just not in OUR house. She wants to guit school and get married now. but we've told her, no degree, no wedding. She doesn't like it but she knows its for her best.

 

[harmonium]

Where is the OP? Is everything alright?

Hope all is well.

 

[brergnat]

Here's my solution to this problem:

1. Elope.

2. Make this trip your honeymoon.

What's dad going to say about that?

My gosh, I took my first trip to WDW with my "boyfriend" (now husband) in 1999 at the age of 19. We were both still in college. We saved up and stayed at the All Star Music. It was his first trip there. I think we may have casually mentioned to our parents that we were going, like a month out. We were both living in apartments at school, though, we weren't living at home. I wouldn't have dreamed of not going on that trip, regardless of what our parents may have thought about it at the time. In my opinion, once you are "of age" and in college, especially, it's time for your parents (regardless of whether you are living at home or not) to let you have some freedom. This is the time of your life where you learn INDEPENDENCE and how to take care of yourself in the real world. It is important to travel independent of your parents, simply to learn how to do so on your own.

At 22, my DH and I were married at WDW. Our whole families went. Suffice it to say, we had our OWN honeymoon suite...and we checked in 2 whole days BEFORE we got married...

This whole situation is ridiculous, in my opinion.

A 22 year old whose dad won't allow her to go on vacation with her boyfriend will have a HUGE problem for the rest of her life if she doesn't establish who she is (independent of her father) and take a stand for what SHE believes in (not what her father believes in). I am so turned off by parents enforcing their will on their ADULT children. You simply cannot force your beliefs or values on anyone. The best you can do is be an example, and in this case, he is being an example of a tyrant.

 

[Willow1213]

I am shocked at how judging some people can be of another's situation without knowing that person or their situation AT ALL.
To those that seem to think my father is a pedofile, get over yourselves, this is a family board.
To those that actually offered me advice, thank you very much.
Not that I think this is anyones business, but, my father wants to go because he lived in Orlando for 35 years. He has not been back in 10. He wants to go and see his friends and family that are still there. He misses his old buddies and band mates. To be honest, he will probably end up getting in more "trouble" hanging out with his old guy friends than I will at Disney. He will not be sitting by the pool all day, he will be out in Orlando, doing whatever he wants to do. He's not going cause he wants to supervise.
My bf is part of our family, he is over almost every night and treats my mother and father like his own. He respects them too so he was ok when I told him my dad wanted to go with us.
That being said, I hope that some of you can learn to respect one another and not go bashing someone elses family.

 

[AtTheBeach]

I am shocked at how judging some people can be of another's situation without knowing that person or their situation AT ALL.
To those that seem to think my father is a pedofile, get over yourselves, this is a family board.
To those that actually offered me advice, thank you very much.
Not that I think this is anyones business, but, my father wants to go because he lived in Orlando for 35 years. He has not been back in 10. He wants to go and see his friends and family that are still there. He misses his old buddies and band mates. To be honest, he will probably end up getting in more "trouble" hanging out with his old guy friends than I will at Disney. He will not be sitting by the pool all day, he will be out in Orlando, doing whatever he wants to do. He's not going cause he wants to supervise.
My bf is part of our family, he is over almost every night and treats my mother and father like his own. He respects them too so he was ok when I told him my dad wanted to go with us.
That being said, I hope that some of you can learn to respect one another and not go bashing someone elses family.

I guess you answered your own post's title...no, you're vacation will NOT be ruined.

 

[CheshireVal]

I am shocked at how judging some people can be of another's situation without knowing that person or their situation AT ALL.
To those that seem to think my father is a pedofile, get over yourselves, this is a family board.
To those that actually offered me advice, thank you very much.
Not that I think this is anyones business, but, my father wants to go because he lived in Orlando for 35 years. He has not been back in 10. He wants to go and see his friends and family that are still there. He misses his old buddies and band mates. To be honest, he will probably end up getting in more "trouble" hanging out with his old guy friends than I will at Disney. He will not be sitting by the pool all day, he will be out in Orlando, doing whatever he wants to do. He's not going cause he wants to supervise.
My bf is part of our family, he is over almost every night and treats my mother and father like his own. He respects them too so he was ok when I told him my dad wanted to go with us.
That being said, I hope that some of you can learn to respect one another and not go bashing someone elses family.

So why can't your dad get his own room? Sounds like he wants his own trip anyway.

And anyway, in your OP you said "my father decides that we're not allowed to go alone." But now the story has changed into something else, apparently.

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

I am shocked at how judging some people can be of another's situation without knowing that person or their situation AT ALL.

Hey, listen. You're the one who said you were afraid to tell your boyfriend about your Father joining your "romantic" vacation, not us.

To those that seem to think my father is a pedofile, get over yourselves, this is a family board.

No one suggested that at ALL. It's just WEIRD to be sleeping in the same room as a couple for a "ROMANTIC VACATION" with a parent in the room. So why can't he get his own room? Why isn't he respecting your privacy instead of intruding on your vacation? You're there for vacation, he's going for an entirely different reason. Better yet, why doesn't he go and stay with one of his guy friends that he's visiting?

Not that I think this is anyones business,

You asked for advice, so you should give as many details as possibly. So, why isn't it our business when you're asking for advice?

 

[NJ2Boardwalk]

My two cents....is the reason Dad wants to go because you have never been alone with a BF?? Maybe Dad is freaked out about accepting that part of your life. I definitely think you need to talk to Dad. If not now, when? You have the right to explore your relationships the way you want. If Dad keeps this up, it may force you into making a permanent decision you are not ready to make. Make a compromise. You will not flaunt your personal life in front of him. No sleeping in the same bed in his house, in front of him, etc. But, what you do on your own - is your own business. If you let him control this aspect of your life, he might want to control others. Let him down gently.

If you decide to take him....you can get a cot at moderates. We got one at CSR for approx $30 per night. Fits no prob. But, then you are dealing with either Dad/BF or Dad/you sharing a DOUBLE bed. Sounds too close for comfort to me. I'd go with the Doubletree suite or deluxe daybed option.

Somone has to cut the apron strings before somone ends up hurt.
GOOD LUCK!

 

[keylimepie]

I guess I just do not get why he has to be in the same room when it is going to cause you so much trouble and money? I mean, if you are going out on a limb to let your father in on your vaca, why cant he go out on a limb and not make you rework your entire plans? The inconvenience factor alone, is, imho, enough to tell him that while he is welcome to come, tryign to work him into your room is going to drastically and negatively effect your plans and finances.

And if he isnt going in order to supervise, why not get a double bed room and you and bf sleep in one, and dad in the other?

 

[lilyv]

OP-your story has changed dramatically since post 1. I am glad you are no longer almost in tears because you aren't allowed to be alone with your boyfriend.
If Dad is coming only to hang out with his buddies, then he will have no problem paying for his own private room. (Any reason he feels he compelled to book Disney instead of a room near his buddies? I'm assuming his old pals aren't Goofy and Mickey...) You can keep your package, let him handle his own meals, separately. You really don't have any other issues, now.

 

[harmonium]

Well, I suppose you're fine then. It gets a little crazy on these boards sometimes since ones imagination is permitted to wander so far from someone elses reality.
Glad your BF and fam get along and are so tight. That is great in and of itself.
The innocence of the "dad just wants to tag along" thing just didn't appear to get across in communication and that is where the absurd comments must have been born.

I would guess then that your dad getting his own room, as long as he is paying anyway, would be the best option. Does he just want company for the trip down and saw your get away as an option?