HELP!I'm pouring my heart out here, need advice!*Updated 6/12/07*

Magicx2,
I wish you the best of luck...because luck is what you're going to need. A quick recap:

You owe $22.5K to 6 credit cards. 4 of those cards you stopped using 4 months ago but you've continued to charge "for purchases exceeding $200" on the two remaining cards. Yet, your largest monthly payment to any of those 4 cards is typically $225. You were continuing to rack up debt during those months.

The minimum payment on all those cards is $647/month and you currently pay closer to $775/month (which is good). But the monthly minimum payment on $22.5 in credit card debt is soon going to jump to $900/month, an amount that your current budget has no room to cover. You also have a car loan of $327/month and a signature loan that you're paying $230/month on.

You've refinance your home twice, once to eliminate credit card debts and adding $18K to your mortgage to do so. So, you've been in credit card trouble before, yet in the two years following that refi, you amassed another $22.5K in credit card debt!

Your current budget has $100 in "blow money" but nothing in your budget for clothing, entertainment, home upkeep or car maintenance. I forsee you "blowing" through that $100 very quickly every month. And it will get worse, especially with the minimums going up on your CCs. If you have an adjustable rate mortgage, you can expect that to increase too.

You're taking not one but TWO trips to WDW and until recently, you were inquiring about Dec 2007 rates for Disney Cruises. And even with the a debt-free goal, you're talking about buying into DVC when you get out of the woods. My advise is to forget DVC and pay off your mortgage, establish college funds, a retirement fund and an emergency fund with 6 months worth of paychecks banked in it.

And on top of all this debt and worry that accompanies it, you actually went to that auction and bid almost $42K on that piece of land. Now where in the world did you think the money was going to come from to pay for that loan? Did you even run the numbers before you went to that auction? I imagine that you didn't because if you had, you would have spent the morning listing your excess stuff on eBay instead.

I'm sitting here shaking my head and wondering. You seem so determined to get out of debt and on the road to financial well-being. But you also want to have what you want, when you want it. It just can't work that way. Realistically, you should not be taking Disney trips when your regular monthly budget exceeds your income, regardless of who is paying for most of it. You should not be thinking of purchasing tracts of land with loaned money you cannot afford to repay. And buying into DVC should not be your first goal once you've eliminated your debt. It's not the amount of debt that I see as the problem, it's your mindset that will be the biggest obstacle to overcome.
 
aka-mad4themouse -- I'm still wondering what the OP racked up on cc's worth $22.5k in 24 months. That's gonna take some serious slicing and dicing on the spending front. And I'm getting the feeling she isn't willing to buy new shoes or underwear at Walmart.

God help her if her family has anything financially serious happen to them. Or if one of them loses a job. And I'm afraid to even think about the statistics on the number of divorces associated with families in financial distress.

Ah, well. In the end, it's up to her. Either she will or she won't. I just hope she understands the stakes involved.

DisFlan
 
I just want to say thank-you :wave: to everyone who has posted on this thread; it is inspiring and encouraging to see others who have gotten out of bad situations; I'm trying to be more financially healthy myself. We have a good amount in a savings account but also some CC debt. I had a one-week DL trip in the works for next spring, but we decided no more Disney until the debt is paid down. We're moving to a cheaper apartment until we can afford a house and I'm going to start working night shift (I'm a nurse) for extra hourly wage$$$ (and we are going to put the difference toward the debt). I especially want to thank DVCGirl's post #236 about budgeting--there are so many "little" categories I think most people don't think about in the budget. I wrote down all my expenses for September, just to see where I'm at, and I spent $700 on "miscellaneous".

To the OP--good luck to you, there are so many cheering you on. :Pinkbounc There is a lot of good advice here, I think the most important thing is that change has to come from the inside. I personally changed my views on my money and debt when I became a woman of faith. If you belong to a church or other religious organization maybe someone there could give you some support as well? I also recommend any financial book by Ellie Kay, she writes about how spending and saving is tied up to our emotions and how we were raised about money and how to change our attitudes and feelings about money, in addition to "nuts and bolts" stuff like how to make a budget, getting out of debt, etc., etc.

Thank you for sharing on such a personal topic. I hope things work out for you!!!! :cheer2:
 
Magicx2

I am with you and I believe you truely want to be debt free.

I would also go to the auction and may even try to bid (like you do) and hoping that I would be out-bidded because I want to be able to tell myself that I have tried and therefore don't feel sorry that I didn't even tried. I also will likely be going to the WDW trips because after those two trips I may not be able to go to another WDW vacation for a long time. Therefore, enjoy the trip (I truely mean this).

I am not going to question how you built up the cc debt, because those were the past, it is important to make sure you do not accumate more debt moving forward.

My only concern and a word of caution is on the following mentallity.

MAGICX2 said:
It does not mean that I am not serious about getting debt free, it does not mean that I am picking and choosing what advice to follow, it simply means I have made a decision and I have to live with it. If it means it will take 6 months longer than it would have to pay off the debt then so be it. I do not think that these trips are detremental to my getting debt free. Could the money be used else where, definitely. Will the money spent keep me from getting debt free, no way. It may slow it down for a month or two but it will not stop me.

I am 40 lbs over weight. I recalled watching a news magazine about people wanting to loose weight, it showed some people ate a few extra cookies and realizing they had eaten more than they were supposed to eat for that day and decided that they can eat a lot more for that day. Obviously it was not the right approach.

I am concerned when you said the money may only slow down a month or two for you but will not stop you. I think you realize that you owe so much in cc that it can only be cleaned up in small steps. (BTW, I am not trying to talk you into not going to WDW, but just want to caution you moving forward. Similar to weight lost, it is a life style change).

Why not give us an update every two months to let us know your progress?

Best of luck and have a good trip.

Felicia
 

DisFlan said:
aka-mad4themouse -- I'm still wondering what the OP racked up on cc's worth $22.5k in 24 months.
Oh, I'm not surprised. They built a house during that period, and one of them went back to school, and I believe had a baby too. That's some expensive experiences.
 
Yes, it takes a long time to pull yourself out of debt, and I hope that the OP understands that. All of that debt is going to take a heck of a lot longer to pay off than it took to accumulate.

I gotta tell you, if I was in the same position as the OP I'd be looking to sell the house and buy a similar size house for less money. Then again, I think that's why they're having difficulty selling. They built a small custom-built home on a big lot. I wouldn't think that's an easy sell. And they *need* to get 179,900 or they'll owe money.....

Still, if they could sell their house and get enough to pay off the mortgage, houses are so cheap in their area.
 
/
MAGICX2 said:
Where do I get this "help"? What is this magical help line that will get me all cleared up? Everyone says "get help!" Where, who, and how?


There is no "magic help line" and I think that statement illustrates your problem. You seem to want someone here to give you some magic formula to get you out of debt and on firm financial ground quickly and that's not how it works. You have to buckle down, cut expenses, and pay your way out of debt just like you spent your way into debt. No it won't be fun or easy but if you don't do it you will soon be bankrupt.

I am suggessting that you should not go on any vacations until you have eliminated the credit cards. You seem to be really financially irresponsible and should probably never use credit cards again. Some people cannot handle the temptation of the cards.

You seem to think that those of us who take vacations have never sacrificed and that you shouldn't have to. My DH and I had years when we didn't vacation because our budget didn't include a vacation catagory. We were busy paying off school debt and saving for a down payment on our first home. There simply was nothing left for vacations. We would save all year and maybe drive 200 miles for a long week-end somewhere. Your problem is you have taken vacations and spent money that you didn't have and now it's time to pay up.

Best of luck to you.
 
tlbwriter said:
Oh, I'm not surprised. They built a house during that period, and one of them went back to school, and I believe had a baby too. That's some expensive experiences.

Hang on - we DID that. We bought a house, had a baby and then my husband decided, after less than 2 years, to give up private general practice and do a 3-yr residency in Internal Medicine. But NONE of it went on cards. We rented the house, sold the boat and moved to an apartment. We scrimped for every cent - for three more years. (That's after 4 yrs. of med school and a year of internship.) A Disney vacation (ha!) wasn't even in question.

Talk about living economically! If she wants tips, I got 'em. With VERY hard work, we came out debt free. With a baby. And a house we weren't living in. It CAN be done, but severely delaying gratification has to be employed. And I do mean Severely.

We moved back to the same house. We're happily still there. When it "got too small", we remodelled with everything we wanted. By making extra payments whenever we could, it'll be paid off early. So we'll be debt free later for retirement, too.

The OP can do it if she WANTS to. I'm just not sure she's willing to give up what it'll take to do it.


DisFlan
 
DisFlan said:
Hang on - we DID that. We bought a house, had a baby and then my husband decided, after less than 2 years, to give up private general practice and do a 3-yr residency in Internal Medicine. But NONE of it went on cards. We rented the house, sold the boat and moved to an apartment. We scrimped for every cent - for three more years. (That's after 4 yrs. of med school and a year of internship.) A Disney vacation (ha!) wasn't even in question.

Talk about living economically! If she wants tips, I got 'em. With VERY hard work, we came out debt free. With a baby. And a house we weren't living in. It CAN be done, but severely delaying gratification has to be employed. And I do mean Severely.

We moved back to the same house. We're happily still there. When it "got too small", we remodelled with everything we wanted. By making extra payments whenever we could, it'll be paid off early. So we'll be debt free later for retirement, too.

The OP can do it if she WANTS to. I'm just not sure she's willing to give up what it'll take to do it.


DisFlan

Yeah, I have to agree with you DisFlan...lots of people take time to go to school and have children. Not all go into credit card debt like this. And yet, so much of this seems like a surprise to the OP. This is exactly what happens when you live above your means. That's why I think she and DH need to sit down with a financial counselor and put their budget down on paper. Even a novice can see that they're barely breaking even (if they even are). I thought that the situation was pretty bad with just the 22.5 in CC debt and the $7800 signature loan. But when the OP told us about the refi with the 18K of *previous* CC debt rolled in....that's when alarms went off. And if they haven't gone off for the OP and her DH...well, they should be by now. I really hope that they get some advice...
 
dvcgirl said:
Yeah, I have to agree with you DisFlan...lots of people take time to go to school and have children. Not all go into credit card debt like this. And yet, so much of this seems like a surprise to the OP. This is exactly what happens when you live above your means. That's why I think she and DH need to sit down with a financial counselor and put their budget down on paper. Even a novice can see that they're barely breaking even (if they even are). I thought that the situation was pretty bad with just the 22.5 in CC debt and the $7800 signature loan. But when the OP told us about the refi with the 18K of *previous* CC debt rolled in....that's when alarms went off. And if they haven't gone off for the OP and her DH...well, they should be by now. I really hope that they get some advice...


I agree...they need help. Soon. But I'm afraid they'll run when they hear what an advisor will say they need to do. They have to take the advice and DO it, or it won't work.

The OP and her hubby sound like what our financial friend calls "Serial Spendthrifts." They almost always get out of one hole and dive right into another. They can't or won't help themselves. They never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity (for getting/staying out of debt). It's possible that the OP may need more than just a credit counselor.

DisFlan
 
I have been following this thread because once upon a time I was where you are...

A few posts ago, the OP stated that surely we don't expect you to give up EVERYTHING...ummm...yes, we do. You are in that deep. I am trying to be blunt because you have so much total denial about this.

First, even though some of us (me included) sound like we are being harsh, it is really because we want to help. Sometimes being direct like this is the best help out there.

Second, in terms of not allowing yourself ANYTHING other than paying off your debts...well, you really do have to live this way for a while. You also need to change your idea of what "something extra" is. For me, it was hot chocolate...Yup, that was my big splurge. And I'm not talking about at a coffee shop or something. I'm talking about in my grocery budget to have at home. Hot chocolate is not a necessity, so it was a treat I would get for myself once in a while...this is the level of treat you can allow yourself. Sorry, but that is where you are.

As others have said...cable is not a necessity. High speed internet is not a necessity. Get rid of both. Today. That's $100 every monnth that goes to debt reduction.

In terms of the "help" you asked about...I think the best thing you can do is educate yourself. Find out what interest really means and how long it takes to pay off things with interest. Your CCs for example...just paying slightly more than the minumum payment will take you 30 YEARS to pay off. Scary! The only way to do it is the "snowball" method that has been mentioned.

Finally, don't even think about DVC...please, think about your family's future. DVC may be in your future, but not until you are (1) debt free and (2) meeting your savings goals. This means you have TWO retirement accounts AND a college fund that you are contributing to every single month.

We got out of our bad debt situation and now live very comfortably (and learned how never to get in that situation again)...you can do it, but it takes both time and committment.

You are young, so you can get out of this, but you must break down the wall of denial. What others have said is true...you still don't see the enormity of your situation.

I truly wish you luck and have best intentions in writing this post.
 
Is it just me but I am perplexed at how a family of 4 can be considered outgrowing a house that was appraised at 195K. Please dont think I am flaming OP, just couldnt figure that one out. If I missed something and there are more than 4 in the family, i am sorry for mentioning it.
 
poohangel said:
Is it just me but I am perplexed at how a family of 4 can be considered outgrowing a house that was appraised at 195K. Please dont think I am flaming OP, just couldnt figure that one out. If I missed something and there are more than 4 in the family, i am sorry for mentioning it.

I don't know the area in which the OP lives, but in my town there is not one house available for under $200K. The cheapest house in our community is a modular ranch...not much larger than a double-wide... and it is on the market for $229K. Sickening, but true.
 
I've just been reading this thread with interest. I think one of the main things the OP needs to do is to find joy and value in something other than spending money. It's simplistic, I know- but only until she finds pleasure in things other than material will she be able to step away from her belief system. That is a hard thing to do in our materialistic culture. I look back on the days when my husband and I were struggling and I remember alot of good times trying to be cheap and seeing what we could get for free. Simpler is better, and is something everyone needs to remind themselves of, myself included!
 
Dorisk3 said:
I've just been reading this thread with interest. I think one of the main things the OP needs to do is to find joy and value in something other than spending money. It's simplistic, I know- but only until she finds pleasure in things other than material will she be able to step away from her belief system. That is a hard thing to do in our materialistic culture. I look back on the days when my husband and I were struggling and I remember alot of good times trying to be cheap and seeing what we could get for free. Simpler is better, and is something everyone needs to remind themselves of, myself included!

I remember on our first Christmas DH and I decided to give each other gifts that were $0.50 or less. On our second Christmas we went wild :rolleyes: and did $5.00 gifts. The funny thing is, I remember the $0.50 gift he gave me (an empty box, filled with love, and wrapped in foil :love: ) but not the $5.00 gift.
 
MAGICX2 said:
I am not and will not defend my vacation expenditures. However, are you suggesting that I not have ANYTHING outside of the necesseties to live?
...but my mother also thinks I deserve a break.

That is exactly what I was saying. You are in serious financial trouble and you're going on holidays.

Also, no one 'deserves' a break (does anyone really deserve anything? - isn't it a case of working for what you want?). And, the fact is, you are in such debt that you'd be foolish to take one at the moment.

As other people have said, they have done it.
If you want to get out of debt then you have to give up the extras. That's just life - it's just 'tough luck'.
 
DisFlan said:
Hang on - we DID that. We bought a house, had a baby and then my husband decided, after less than 2 years, to give up private general practice and do a 3-yr residency in Internal Medicine. But NONE of it went on cards.
Oh, believe me, I wasn't saying that was a good reason to live on credit cards! But people kept saying they couldn't imagine how someone could spend that much money in two years. I'm saying one COULD easily spend that much money furnishing a house with brand new stuff and buying baby supplies. Not that you SHOULD. We did the same thing - got pregnant and signed a contract to build a house while DH was still in graduate school. We were so proud of ourselves for buying our appliances with cash. :teeth: But new home and new baby expenses are *very* tempting, and I can see why people succumb.
 
poohangel said:
Is it just me but I am perplexed at how a family of 4 can be considered outgrowing a house that was appraised at 195K. Please dont think I am flaming OP, just couldnt figure that one out. If I missed something and there are more than 4 in the family, i am sorry for mentioning it.
I don't see what the price has to do with it - prices vary greatly throughout the country. And even in one town the size of a $195K house could be 1500 sq ft or 3500 sq ft depending upon how new and "nice" it is and how much land it comes with. The OP's home is 1500 sq ft. Probably smaller than the average home built in 2002, and I'm sure many families of four would wish for bigger, but definitely not unliveable.
 
MAGICX2,

I agree with other posters. You really need a wake up call.

Since May 2002, you and your husband have spent over $48,000 MORE than you have earned. ($176,000-$158,000+$7800+$22,500) Your spending has averaged over $1200 MORE every month than you make in a 40 month period.

If you had just lived within your means and only spent money that you actually had during the last few years, you would currently have roughly $1200 more money in your budget every month now. (Adding up all cc payments, signature loan, and increased mortgage payment due to overspending.)

Ironically, if you hadn't overspent before, you would be able to afford your level of spending now. But since you've overspent for so long, you'll spend the next few years scrimping to pay off your debts.

You and your DH need to stop spending and need to pay down these loans. That should be priority number 1.

And yet, you are planning two trips to WDW and bidding on land you can't afford to make the payments on, and making a goal of getting DVC. You are still spending!!!!!!!

Your goals need to be along the lines of: Stop spending money I don't have. Pay off consumer debt. Live within my means. Save money for kids' college and my retirement.

I don't mean to be harsh, but you and your husband will have to change your outlook (saving instead of spending) in order to be successful. And I do wish you every success!

Good luck!
 

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