Help Getting DS (9) to Read

[paintnolish]

Oh, I should say "enjoy" reading...I am trying to get into a strict schedule of having DS read daily for 30 minutes. That's all. You'd think I was taking him to get shots. He cries and pleads with me. He told me we could skip WDW in Dec. if he didn't have to read. He hates it that much. I try to remain calm, but I can feel my blood boiling as he cries and hyperventilates for 30 minutes each day. He is not a good reader and has had some interventions-Title 1, working with a college student at the library, and computer programs. He needs the practice badly, but evey time we do it, it is a stuggle. Help!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My 9 year old son doesn't like to read either, but tantrums have never been allowed in our home. When they happened, we pretended that they were not happening - didn't respond to them in a positve or negative way. They just weren't happening. It has been many years since his last tantrum.

I would first address that behavior, then focus on the reading. When I tell my son it is time to read, he says something like, "Aww, come on.", but he then immediately heads upstairs to get the book that we are reading (right now, it is a Hardy Boys book).

Good luck!!!

 

[MidgeD79]

Oh I feel your pain!! My ds (now 11) wasn't a reader until about age 9. He was "labeled" learning disabled. What type of books is your son reading? My ds loves Goosebumps. He even reads in the bathtub now! lol It is hard to find a book that keeps their interest, but isn't too difficult. Maybe you could set up a reward system (for every book he reads he earns .......).Do you read? Does your ds see you read? The kids in my neighborhood are amazed that I read just for fun. There are some excellent resources on reading difficulties. Bernice E. Cullinan has a book Read To Me Raising Kids Who Love To Read. Good Luck

 

[hopemax]

I'm not a parent, but when I was in middle school, I was a peer tutor working with helping 6th graders increase their reading skills.

First rule, was it doesn't matter what you read, just read. Comic books, video game cheat guides, game instruction manuals, sports magazines, whatever. Practice is more important than content. That can come later.

I had one kid, who had more advanced reading problems. The teacher would have me record a book on audio tape (usually a book that had something to do with sports). Then before he would attempt to read a chapter, he would listen to the audio, and then read it. If there was a difficult word, he could rewind to the spot and replay it. And he could do it all with a little privacy, so the "embarrassment" of not knowing was decreased. So maybe you could get an audio book to go along with an actual book?

 

[NMAmy]

Is he reading out loud or reading to himself? Have you tried reading to him for 5 minutes and then having him read to you? Is he reading things that interest him--magazines or stories about a sport he enjoys, for example?

 

[NHdisneylover]

I have a 10 year old who only recently got to where he will sometimes read willingly. Drives me nuts--DD12 and I read all the time and I truly can't relate to not wanting to read. Here are a few tings we did which seemed to ahev helped:
1. He listened (still listens) to books on tape. The theory was he would get used to seeing that it is fun to follow a story all the way to the end without visuals. I also always read chapter books aloud to the kids, but I wanted to encourage him to do something reading related independently even if it was listening
2. We allowed him to read thigns that were "too easy" for him on his own. My thought was that way he could relax and enjoy following the story and "Get into" it without struggling with the words. I figured at least it still helped him build skills in comprehension and fluency as well as get past teh hating to read thing.
3. We kept working on finding things he wanted to read. Only found a few initially--the Weird Science series and Nate the Great chapter books. Later on he found two books called Disney After Dark and Disney at Dawn. These were actaully at grade level and he loved them Oddly, the books he is reading now that HE picked and lovse are the Anne of Green Gables series. I would not have thoguht to pick these up for him and I don't really know how he stumbled across them. They are very high level vocabulary, and not typical boy fare but he likes htem so I am not going to complain.
4. Get creative about WHAT he reads. DS does community theatre. I noticed he always read the full script the first night he had it. I fianlly got smart and asked him if he liked to read scripts. YES! For about 6 months last year he went through every script the local high school theatre teacher had to loan him. It wasn't a typical book--but it got him reading and it DID help him improve many skills. I think many kids may find something they like to read which is not a novel--comic books, magazines, etc. Those are okay too.
5. For a long time we always put the subtitles on whenever we watched a DVD--jsut to haev the words there and sinking in. We still would except now we have moved to Germany so we put the German subtitles onwhich is helping all of us a bit.

Good luck

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I know it's hard, but try not to feed into the drama. Stay calm and keep it non-negotiable. Find out what interests him and get him lots of books on those subjects. Consider alternate reading sources like newspapers, magazines, internet reading, etc.

It's always been difficult to get my DS11 to sit and read. He'd much rather be out running around playing with his friends (and I appreciate the benefit of that as well). So I used the above strategy.

We have books everywhere in our house as DH and I both enjoy books of all types. I keep books in both our cars and oftentimes that's where he gets his reading in. He's not going to sit and read a novel, but he will read books on sports, history, animals, travel, etc. I buy a lot of books at used book stores on a variety of subjects.

Keep things available and pleasant, and eventually he may learn to enjoy reading. Last week my son went to get his haircut and there was a wait so he took one of my photography books to look through, which I thought was great.

Good luck.

 

[paintnolish]

Tantrums- Not allowed here, either, and ds never really had them. He is actually a really laid back kid! I make him read through his crying. We have a timer set up, and I tell him I will pause it if the crying gets to where I can't understand him.
My own reading habits- I read a ton! I am also an English major, so I am pretty sure he knows I love it. DH is also a librarian! That is what is frustrating about this, too...
Reading Choices- We have so many books in a whole range of ages. He either thinks they are too hard or for babies.
Taking turns- We have does this with the "Diary of a Whimpy Kid" books. It worked fairly well, but I am trying to up the time he spends reading himself. We may have to do this more often.
Midge- Thanks for the book suggestion. I will look into that!

He has told me that during silent reading at school he only pretends to read. He stares at the page for a few minutes and then turns to the next. He was all gung ho about the Jack Sparrow books. His teacher had said he enjoyed them at school, so of course I went out and got a few. I told him to read a few minutes evey night. I would ask him what they were about each night. Finally, I figured out all of his story descriptions were made up based on the front cover. Grr! So, needless to say, he has my undivided attention and help during reading!

 

[Lisa_M]

Have him read books that are appropriate for his reading level, not necessarily his age or grade, if he is reading below that. Let him pick books that are interesting to him. Take him to the library weekly to pick out a few. Summer is almost over, but participating in the summer reading program at the library is motivating for kids too.

Highlights magazine is also good. It's easy, short stories, jokes, riddles and activities for kids to do. Fun stuff.

eta: maybe instead of using the timer, tell him we're going to read a chapter a day or 10 pages a day. Start low and work your way up to 30 minutes or whatever the goal is. Maybe make a sticker chart and he earns some reward for reading daily at the end of the week, like computer time or baking with mom or extra playing outside time.

You may also want to ask his Title 1 teacher for suggestions for books that would be on his reading level.

 

[java]

I think it's about finding the right fit of book. My son loved reading once he got into the Goosebumps books. They were just scary enough to keep him intersted. Oh and Captain Underpants were also big hits. He was reading well beyond his age by 4th grade and actually went into high school last year having already read all the books on the summer reading list.

Be patient and try out different authors. My daughter HATED To read. Finally I discovered that she enjoyed biographies- and then loved mystery books. (not what I would have suspected)

And once she found a book she liked - she read all the ones that author wrote.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Tantrums- Not allowed here, either, and ds never really had them. He is actually a really laid back kid! I make him read through his crying. We have a timer set up, and I tell him I will pause it if the crying gets to where I can't understand him...

For a 9 year old, this behavior is a tantrum - or blatant manipulation. Naming it isn't important, but addressing it is. Good for you for sticking to your guns, but crying while he is reading is not going to achieve your stated goal - helping him to like reading. He has to be calm and open-minded when he reads for that to occur.

My son picks his reading material, as some suggested above...

 

[mickeyboat]

DD8 does this, too. She has had her teachers completely buffaloed for years. She gets top scores in silent reading, too. I need to warn her teachers next year. I have also insisted on her reading out loud to me, which she enjoys.

DD8 hates to read, too. I have tried everything I can think of, and it all works for a little while, and then stops working and I have to think of something else.

We recently tried having her read into the computer. She gets pretty animated while doing it, and likes to watch the video she made of herself.

I have been bribing / threatening her. Before camp she had to have 3 books read or she wasn't going to camp. She read them. Before vacation she has to finish two more. She has one to go before Friday.

I also allow her to read easy books to help build her fluency and comprehension, but mostly to help build her confidence. She is more willing to try harder books, but it's in baby steps.

Finally, I think she gets distracted easily when she reads. She is really thinking about the story, and goes off on tangents while she is reading - which is good, but makes it take soooo long, so I have told her we can talk about it at the end of each chapter. She wiggles around a lot, changing positions while she is reading, which takes her eyes off the page. Then it takes a while for her to find out where she was. She also tends to jump ahead in sentences and on the pages, so I have started having her use her finger or a bookmark to track what she is reading. She especially needs tracking help when she has been reading for more than 30 minutes.

I actually think she has made some progress this summer, and I will be on her teachers again this year to keep their eye on her.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I am so with you. - I love to read, DH loves to read, and DS8 hates it! So we tend to be rather lost when he resists reading time because we really have no idea what it feels like to not want to read.

He got extra help in school, and is doing better, but really needs to keep practicing. So we resorted to bribing this summer - bought the light saber toy he really wanted, made a "drawing" of it (on excel, so the light part it was made of little sections) and colored a section for each point. We gave the points for:

time spent reading
difficulty of the selection
attitude

And he got the toy when we had colored to the top. I think he read more in the week or so it took him to earn that than he had in the whole previous month! But I'm still looking for things he likes enough to read without the external reward. - So far, nonfiction stuff has been the best. (And I've heard that's common for boys.) He liked one on frogs and another on the Titanic.

 

[hopemax]

How is his reading comprehension? When he reads out loud to you, does he struggle? The only pretending to read, and either "too hard or for babies" comment would have me a little concerned that he is behind and knows it, and is probably embarrassed and frustrated. Especially, with all the tears. None of us like to be in a situation where everybody else can do something and you can't. If Dad is a librarian and Mom loves to read, he might have fears that he will be a huge disappointment to you and you will be mad. Then obviously he should be tested for learning disorders, and work with a professional tutor.

If he is actually capable of reading at level and just doesn't want to do it, I might focus on how much reading is a part of normal life. You want to get a driver's license, it helps if you can read the booklet that has all the rules of the road that you will be tested on. Want to travel the world or the US, you need to read to make online reservations, read travel sites to find out what you want to do, hours of operation, etc. Does he have any idea on what he wants to do when he grows up? Talk about the reading he will have to do to accomplish his job. Or maybe, give him "research" project tasks. Does he want a certain video game, research "reviews" online, etc.

 

[HM]

I am an avid reader, whipping through books quickly. Neither of my kids has enjoyed reading...until this year and they are 14 and 15. I never thought I'd see the day. I've been to the library four times in two weeks to get my DD books and I couldn't be happier. Neither kid is reading books that I would enjoy or I would have picked for them, but they are reading for the enjoyment of reading.

You may find that your son won't enjoy reading until he's an adult (my sister was that way), or he may decide he likes it before too long. It's really a crap shoot, I think.

The person that suggest that he read anything, is correct. If he's interested in comic books, get those. He also may be interested in Manga-type books. Our library finally started carrying them (they didn't when my son was that age and those were the only books he would think about reading). They are mostly cartoon-like so he can follow the pictures to get content along with reading the words. Make frequent trips to the library and keep trying different things. You never know what might finally spark an interest.

Good luck with it all.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I guess this brings up a good point. Not every kid is going to be "into" non-fiction "series" books. I know that neither of my kids are. And that's ok as far as I'm concerned. I never was myself and do not read fiction to this day, however I am nonetheless an avid reader. (We have these books, sure, but those aren't the books they choose or enjoy most. My DD11 will read them to a degree, but what she's really enjoying right now are the books on puberty I've bought her and books on gardening and cooking, LOL.)

They read other things and have a lot of different life experiences that help them learn all kinds of things. This has worked for us.

It may be a losing battle to force a kid who doesn't enjoy "traditional" reading to sit and read those types of books. (Particluarly over the long term if you're trying to instill a love of reading.) JMO. I recognize that in school, they have to. (And that there's some degree of "pressure" to read them as everyone seems to know about them, etc.) I am going to ask my friend who's a reading specialist about this and see what she says.

 

[Tinijocaro]

All 4 of my kids are excellent readers with excellent reading comprehension. Only my oldest is an avid reader. The others need to be prodded. Even though our summers are wide open, it is always hardest to get them to read during vacation. For summers only, I offer them a way to make money. I call it "A Buck a Book". For every 150 page book they read, they earn one dollar.

For my youngest who is going into 2nd grade, I told her and her two best friends that when they each read 10 chapter books, I will take them out for a happy meal.

My 2nd son loves comic type books so that is what he reads. He gets enough "literature" during the school year. Reading of any type is going to improve comprehension, spelling, vocab....I'm not picky.

 

[mickeyboat]

DD8 also gravitates towards non-fiction. She loves The Guiness Book of World Records.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

DD8 also gravitates towards non-fiction. She loves The Guiness Book of World Records.

My DS likes those, too.

 

[paintnolish]

Hopemax- I know he is frustrated and well aware that his reading skills aren't very good. He told me he was relieved when his teacher sid that theentire class got to move up a grade level! Also, his fluency and comprehension are poor. He will sound out a word or attempt to. If it is not right, he simply moves on. What? He either doesn't care that it makes no sense or doesn't realize it.
Non-Fiction- Thanks for the suggestions. He loves to flip through those kinds of books and look at the pictures. Maybe getting him to read those would be more interesting to him.
Rewards and charts- I think these might be good for him. He loves to earn money and is concerned about not having a bday (to get money) before our next trip. I originally chose a chapter book because I'd hoped he'd feel a sense of accomplishment when finishing it. I think it might be overwhelming, though, and a chart might help him better visualize his progress.