Help!! FMIL is not happy with our date! Long, sorry.

[Mandabella]

I so feel your pain.

I also got married in April, but in my home state. I got various requests to move my wedding from DE (where we were living and where my family was) to OK (where the inlaws lived). That didn't happen. Then I got the request to move our wedding date (repeatedly) to accomodate Spring Break vacation dates...for the uninvited children...whose mother was whining about paying airfare for... That didn't happen either. Then they didn't approve of the honeymoon in WDW because DH grew up in FL. (Did they think they were coming with us?) Yeah, the inlaws whined and carried on about it for bit...but they got over it and attended the wedding we originally planned (and paid for!!) in DE.

Bottom line....whatever decisions you make for your wedding...someone somewhere will have a problem. DO WHAT YOU WANT!!! It is YOUR day! Reasonable people will understand that and want you to be happy.

Good luck!

 

[Tinker*Shell*Bell]

I had a wedding, it was beautiful, the dress was beautiful, the food tasted great, everyone looked great...I hated it!!!

I let everyone else make the choices that were important to them. I picked the colors an my dress and then it was taken out of my hands. The food for the reception, the decorations at the reception, the flowers. The crappy take-out pizza rehearsal dinner. I felt like it was not "worth" it to insist on what I really wanted. I am not a "fight for your rights" person normally it's easier to roll with it.

I hated my wedding. I have no great memories of that day other than my dad joking about making me cry when I was so dressed up, my mom forgetting my bouquet at the store and having to literally run to get it as the wedding was suppose to start. and- The look relieved on my husbands face when I finally walked down the aisle (late due to flowers.)

We are still married 13 years later and maybe at 20 years we'll elope and have the wedding I wanted and not the one that was forced on me.

I, to this day, wish I had stood up for what I wanted and that I had hubby's help on this. Never again, as the saying goes.

Do what YOU want and have NO regrets, the regret will be in what you did not do.

ps. my mil is an unreasonable b&($#, we still don't get along at all, glad I married hubby and not her!!!

 

[hiwaygal]

I agree with pretty much all of the posts here...

your FMIL is being selfish. Teachers get "sick" and "vacation/personal" days just like the rest of the world. She needs to get HER priorities straight as this is her sons wedding!

Definitely discuss it all with your DF, make sure you both agree and are determined together...then stick to your guns.

20 years from now, you will remember your most beautiful, magical Disney wedding and your MIL will remember that she missed it!

 

[GreenGirl8]

You FMIL can get PN during those days. PN is usually classifed as important events that can not be rescheduled...etc. All teachers (that I know of) get a certain amount of these days each year. They are usually limited to 3 or 4, but they do exist.

 

[AnimalPrincess]

Hey Everyone,

Thanks for your support. After much "discussing" last night I think that we have it worked out. my FMIL break is the week after easter, so we decided to have the wedding on the 14th or 15th of April. The parks will be less crowded but the hotels will still cost more; however my fiance said that since it is during break more of his side will be able to come which will take the room block presure off of my young friends. In the end the date really didnt matter to me, a week earlier is not a problem, it was the principal of the thing. Like you all said I didnt want to start off setting this precident that she will always get her way. But on the other hand I do want to have a good relationship with her so I am glad that we were able to work it out. She might still have to take one day off of work, if it is on sunday but this is a compromise.

Thanks again for all of your help!

 

[butterfuleyes]

this is your wedding, and it's about you two. My MIL tried to pull the same b.s. on us when we decided to go out of town and get married. She said we didn't give her enough notice and that we weren't considerate of people's plans.

Last time I checked, a wedding was about 2 people getting married, not the hundreds who could be in attendance. We did what we wanted to do and that was that. Now, she hasn't talked to us in 3 weeks, but I really don't care. If it's what you and your fi want, do it.

 

[Laurafoster]

Graciousness is very becoming on a bride.

 

[rescuerangers]

I couldn't help but respond to this posting because I could relate so much... Both sides of our family are acting in this exact manner and no one seems to remember that it is OUR wedding. They are taking advantage of the fact that it's important to us that our families be able to attend. Everyone tells me to just tell them all off, but obviously that's not an answer. I know this isn't helpful, but just know that you're certainly not the only one in this position. We have been tossing dates around for over a month now and still not come to any agreement.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

tell her what i've been telling my mother for the past year. it's your wedding, not hers, and if she doesn't want to be there it's her business. then she can explain to the family members and any future grandkids why she didn't want to go. and......i've never heard of teachers not getting paid time off. they don't get vacation pay after so long?