Hear me out on this...

[OrlandoMike]

I think all of us are hoping you have a great vacation!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

ok, with saying that. Are you saying there are people out there that could be bi or gay just hiding from themselves? Not being true to themselves? HUM maybe that is why some are scared or bash. They are scared of themselves?

That most certainly happens. I've never had a problem with the sexuality of others and have never thought it's my business what other do in their bedroom, however there must be some reason why I've figured out part of who I am in the last year. It sounds corny, but I finally feel that I have found myself. Like some things that never seemed to make sense now have an explanation. I regret that it means a marriage that I've been in for a very long time will end, however I do need to be true to myself. It's incredibly scary, however.

And hello to the real InfernoGirl.

 

[rpmdfw]

Ok how about this question, to society a family is husband, wife and kid(s) not husband and husband or wife and wife. What do you say to them?

Let's look at this from a different angle. When you met your wife, you weren't a family. Not yet anyway. But time, love, shared experiences, and commitment made you into a family. You were able to formalize your family by being legally married and having children, but the two of you were a family before the kids came along, right?

It's not much different for my partner and me. When we met we were strangers. Now he's my family. We both sacraficed a lot to be together. Thankfully, my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc all accept him into our larger family too. We're having a "commitment ceremony" later this year because we want to formalize our relationship in the only way that's available. To declare our love and commitment to each other in front of our family and our friends. No, it won't be legally recognized, but that doesn't matter. Love makes a family, not legal documents.

I'm sure we've all met couples who are legally married but are by no means a functional family. The piece of paper is irrelevant, it's the love that counts.

That said, I fight every year with my company's HR department to get my partner added to my insurance policy. He's currently without insurance. (and his recent emergency hospital stay for appendicitis was tough on us financially, to say the least). The legal recognition is imporant in our society for a lot of reasons, mainly in protecting ourselves, but as long as I have my partner, I don't need the paper. He's what's important, to me. He's my family.

 

[wallyb]

No, it won't be legally recognized, but that doesn't matter. Love makes a family, not legal documents.

I'm sure we've all met couples who are legally married but are by no means a functional family. The piece of paper is irrelevant, it's the love that counts.

That said, I fight every year with my company's HR department to get my partner added to my insurance policy. He's currently without insurance. (and his recent emergency hospital stay for appendicitis was tough on us financially, to say the least). The legal recognition is imporant in our society for a lot of reasons, mainly in protecting ourselves, but as long as I have my partner, I don't need the paper. He's what's important, to me. He's my family.

I am so right behind you on this-
This is The only Reason Paul and I went for the Legal marriage thing -(for anyone who didn't notice -
we're in MA so it legally recognized by our state)- because of the legal and benefit issues -
We don't even celebrate the "legal" one - we stick with the first one.
Marriage / commitment is a state of mind - not a document.

 

[rpmdfw]

We don't even celebrate the "legal" one - we stick with the first one.

That's funny. Scott and I have been having a heck of a time explaining to our family and friends that we'll still observe our "anniversary date" in June like we have since we met. Yes, our ceremony or "Our Big Fat Gay Disney Wedding" as it's come to be called will be in September. Mainly because we didn't want to have to fight Gay Day crowds etc while hosting our extended family and friends for the ceremony/reception. And because we LOVE the Food & Wine Festival and wanted to gather everyone together at a time where they could all enjoy it.

They all think that we should change our "anniversary" to the date of the party. We keep saying "Um, no!"

 

[wallyb]

That's funny. Scott and I have been having a heck of a time explaining to our family and friends that we'll still observe our "anniversary date" in June like we have since we met.

I couldn't even tell you the date of the "legal" one -
Our real one is April 11
I could look up the legal one - I carry a copy of our marriage license
in my wallet because a friend of mine (straight but did not take her husbands last name) advised us to -
once she needed it in a hospital emergency to prove she was a relative.
Let's see... May 26th 2004

 

[rpmdfw]

I couldn't even tell you the date of the "legal" one -
Our real one is April 11
I could look up the legal one - I carry a copy of our marriage license
in my wallet because a friend of mine (straight but did not take her husbands last name) advised us to -
once she needed it in a hospital emergency to prove she was a relative.
Let's see... May 26th 2004

May 26th, 2004. Wow you were one of the very first couples then!

Congrats on both dates! And smart advice!

 

[wallyb]

May 26th, 2004. Wow you were one of the very first couples then!

Congrats on both dates! And smart advice!

Yeah we did it as fast as we could -
Former (thank god) Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was trying hard to reverse it at the time - and we wanted to get it done before he pulled a fast one.

Pulse, Paul probably want to "land" me fast - because - ya know -
I'm such a total catch.

 

[TammieLand]

I heard a Donna Summer Song and
something just "snapped!"

<----once again spewed tea all ovah my monitor...

 

[zulemara]

Yeah we did it as fast as we could -
Former (thank god) Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was trying hard to reverse it at the time - and we wanted to get it done before he pulled a fast one.

Pulse, Paul probably want to "land" me fast - because - ya know -
I'm such a total catch.

question for you - in a few years my DBF and I want to get married in MA. The question is can you do so without being a resident? I realize other states will not legally recognize it, but we don't care. Of course this will be a few years in the future so states might change, but as it stands can anyone get married in MA or do you have to be a state resident?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

question for you - in a few years my DBF and I want to get married in MA. The question is can you do so without being a resident? I realize other states will not legally recognize it, but we don't care. Of course this will be a few years in the future so states might change, but as it stands can anyone get married in MA or do you have to be a state resident?

You have to be a resident. Not sure how long you have to live there to establish residency.

 

[wallyb]

question for you - in a few years my DBF and I want to get married in MA. The question is can you do so without being a resident? I realize other states will not legally recognize it, but we don't care. Of course this will be a few years in the future so states might change, but as it stands can anyone get married in MA or do you have to be a state resident?

Yeah you need to be a resident - I think for a year - you can thank Mr. Romney for this too.

I checked with GLAD http://www.glad.org/marriage/ they have info on the topic - they also suggest contacting
LAMBDA legal in your area. Hope this helps - good luck!

 

[wallyb]

(Geeesh! that guy was before MY time. I suddenly find I have a strong desire for foundation garments, a martini, and menthol cigarettes...)

Come now! - before your time.
He has appeared in ...
Love, American Style
The Love Boat
Fantasy Island
Laverne & Shirley
Roseanne
Northern Exposure
Mad About You
A few movies...
History of the World: Part I
Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood
Did some game shows...
Match Game
Tattletales
Celebrity Sweepstakes
And about every talk show.

Next you'll be telling me
you don't remember Totie Fields -
Geeesh! Yourself lady!

 

[rpmdfw]

Next you'll be telling me
you don't remember Tottie Fields -

You mean Kim Fields who played Tootie on Facts of Life?

<EG>

 

[wallyb]

You mean Kim Fields who played Tootie on Facts of Life?
<EG>

no I mean Totie
http://comedycollege.publicradio.org/archive/fields_totie.shtml

 

[rosiep]

Come now! - before your time.
He has appeared in ...
Love, American Style
The Love Boat
Fantasy Island
Laverne & Shirley
Roseanne
Northern Exposure
Mad About You
A few movies...
History of the World: Part I
Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood
Did some game shows...
Match Game
Tattletales
Celebrity Sweepstakes
And about every talk show.

Next you'll be telling me
you don't remember Totie Fields -
Geeesh! Yourself lady!

Estelle Harris always reminded me of Totie (she played George Costanza's mom on Seinfeld)

And Match Game...let's talk about Brett Somers and Nipsey Russell

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Wally, what should we do when we're in Boston next month? Mix of historic (I was thinking the freedom trail and something else even though I can't remember now what I was thinking), shopping (ie Quincy Market), and other touristy thngs (Duck Tour maybe?) and whatever else thrown in...

 

[rpmdfw]

Estelle Harris always reminded me of Totie (she played George Costanza's mom on Seinfeld)

And Match Game...let's talk about Brett Somers and Nipsey Russell

What about Charles Nelson Reilly! Loved the interplay between him and Brett Somers.

Ooh! and then there's Fanny Flagg!

 

[dunbarfamily]

As an honorary member of this sub forum (you guys allowed me in a few months back! ) I was intrigued when I read the OP. I know the thread has been hijacked, but I just wanted to say this is why I love you guys and girls!

I think the OP was just asking a question and it was answered without making OP feel bad for the most part. In other areas of DIS, OP might have been really attacked.

The media is so biased and unfortunatly, we are fed a steady diet of the extreme, to the point where it is believed that is how it always is. I am proud to lurk on this board, and throw in a reply here and there.

I am glad to have so many wonderful examples of people who are gay. As I said, the media paints such a bad picture. I am glad to know that you are just like me. You love your partner the same way I love my husband, you pay your bills, and most importantly, you LOVE Disney! LOL!

You truly are a great group of people!

Now, back to your regularly sheduled hijacking!!!

 

[wallyb]

Estelle Harris always reminded me of Totie (she played George Costanza's mom on Seinfeld)

Totie was a real "Broad"
I love Broads