Have you/would you send your child to bed without dinner, as a "punishment"?

[Papa Deuce]

I would never, ever, make them eat all of food on their plate. Dessert is eaten because it tastes yummy, not to end hunger, which is what the meal is for. I rarely eat dessert, but when I do, I always save room! Making them clean their plate (which is rarely recommended anymore) causes them to ignore their signals of fullness from their stomach. This is why many people tend to overeat these days.

True, but my one daughter especially, will try to eat very little of the food she doesn't like JUST BECAUSE she wants to have room for dessert. So, without going crazy and making a huge deal out of it, we "encourage" her to eat the stuff ( usually veggies ) early on at dinner.

So, she NEVER has to clean a plate, but she does have to eat some things that she doesn't really enjoy a ton. We never make her eat things that she really can't stand. In her case that is cooked carrots and peas.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Just something a colleague believes in doing if their child misbehaves.

I am not sure what the purpose is except showing a child that you, the parent, are in control. Missing an odd meal would not hurt a healthy child, but it's not something I would do to my child, or had done to me when I was growing up.

But were you ever sent to bed without dinner ?
And what do you think of this type of "punishment"?

That's sick.

I don't use food as a reward or punishment. Neither did my parents.

 

[stsomewhere]

I have.

My DD had a fit at the dinner table because her food was touching. I made her go to bed with out dinner.

She ended up falling a sleep. I was planning on giving her a snack before bedtime.

 

[suejai]

I wouldn't withhold food as a punishment, no. BUT, if DD was being picky and didn't want to eat what I fixed for dinner, she could go without food for an evening. I don't run a restaurant- I make one dinner, and if someone in the family doesn't want to eat what I made, they can go hungry for a night.

**EDITING TO ADD** If DD or DH wanted to fix something different for themselves (and not expect me to do it), I'd be OK with that.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[brockash]

No, to me, meals are not a form of punishment/reward. It's the law to make sure your children are fed, and a necessity. Now, I'd absolutely not allow them snacks/desserts ect. as "punishment." Also, I wouldn't sit all day with them at the table waiting for them to eat. If they're misbehaving while we're eating dinner, I wouldn't hesitate to give them a warning and if they still weren't behaving, I wouldn't have a problem with sending them to time out or to bed without finishing.

 

[Kitty 34]

No way

 

[C.Ann]

Punishment in our household was always related to the "crime" - for lack of a better word.. Often "natural consequences" were quite enough..

Having said that, yes - there is one circumstance where I would send my child to bed without dinner.. That would be:

Refusing to eat the meal that was prepared..

To me, that indicates a child that isn't the least bit hungry - and isn't going to starve to death by missing one meal..

I would not send my child to bed without dinner because they didn't do their homework; didn't clean their room; left their dirty laundry on the floor; etc.. None of those things have any relation to food..

 

[Tink888]

I wouldn't withhold food as a punishment, except in the example that Papa Deuce mentioned......if my kids were throwing food around, they obviously aren't starving and they can go to their rooms without finishing.

I don't withhold food or force my kids to eat if they don't want to.

I also will not make special meals if they don't like what's provided. Like another poster said, I'm not running a restaurant. If they don't like/want to eat what's there, they are on their own as far as an alternative.

 

[SpecialK]

Having said that, yes - there is one circumstance where I would send my child to bed without dinner.. That would be:

Refusing to eat the meal that was prepared..

To me, that indicates a child that isn't the least bit hungry - and isn't going to starve to death by missing one meal..

..

If my kids have previously tried something I've made for dinner and know they don't like it, they can make a sandwich or get a bowl of cereal. I don't want to be forced to eat food I don't like and I won't force my kids to do so either.

I've never used food as a punishment.

 

[C.Ann]

If my kids have previously tried something I've made for dinner and know they don't like it, they can make a sandwich or get a bowl of cereal. I don't want to be forced to eat food I don't like and I won't force my kids to do so either.

I've never used food as a punishment.

If that works for you, that's great..
What worked for me when I was growing up - and then for my own children - and now my DGD - was eating what was served.. I've found that when kids are actually hungry, they'll pretty much eat anything - without being picky about it..

 

[JessicaR]

If that works for you, that's great..
What worked for me when I was growing up - and then for my own children - and now my DGD - was eating what was served.. I've found that when kids are actually hungry, they'll pretty much eat anything - without being picky about it..

You said her not eating proved that she was not the least bit hungry. When I'm not the least bit hungry, I don't eat and thankfully I'm not punished for it.

I know, your kids your rules.

If my kids threw food or acted up at the table by fighting or what not that would be a reason for sending them to their room. If my kids just werent hungry and didn't eat I wouldn't say a word about it. I would never bring attention to it and punish them for not eating. They would just go to bed at their normal time and likely wake up with a better appetite.

 

[luvmy3]

Punishment in our household was always related to the "crime" - for lack of a better word.. Often "natural consequences" were quite enough..

Having said that, yes - there is one circumstance where I would send my child to bed without dinner.. That would be:

Refusing to eat the meal that was prepared..

To me, that indicates a child that isn't the least bit hungry - and isn't going to starve to death by missing one meal..

I would not send my child to bed without dinner because they didn't do their homework; didn't clean their room; left their dirty laundry on the floor; etc.. None of those things have any relation to food..

I have to agree. I do not offer a menu for dinner, you eat what I cook or you don't get dinner. If I know my picky ds doesn't eat it, I will give him components of the dinner, like the protein and some cut up veggies, same with my other two but they rarely refuse a meal. I do not allow my kids to make their own dinners because that would become a nightly habit and they would probably have PB&J every night. I see it as their choice to not eat what is offered, not a punishment from me. that being said I rarely make dinners that my I know kids don't like, but in a house of 5 you can't always please everyone. I would never send them to bed without/before dinner because of some behavior issue (well except a food fight at the table of course).
I was brought up to eat what I was served, it didn't matter if I hated it and had to gag it down my throat, which is why I always offer an alternative when making something I know my picky one won't eat.

 

[C.Ann]

Punishment in our household was always related to the "crime" - for lack of a better word.. Often "natural consequences" were quite enough..

Having said that, yes - there is one circumstance where I would send my child to bed without dinner.. That would be:

Refusing to eat the meal that was prepared..

To me, that indicates a child that isn't the least bit hungry - and isn't going to starve to death by missing one meal..

I would not send my child to bed without dinner because they didn't do their homework; didn't clean their room; left their dirty laundry on the floor; etc.. None of those things have any relation to food..

If that works for you, that's great..
What worked for me when I was growing up - and then for my own children - and now my DGD - was eating what was served.. I've found that when kids are actually hungry, they'll pretty much eat anything - without being picky about it..

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You said her not eating proved that she was not the least bit hungry. When I'm not the least bit hungry, I don't eat and thankfully I'm not punished for it.

I know, your kids your rules.

If my kids threw food or acted up at the table by fighting or what not that would be a reason for sending them to their room. If my kids just werent hungry and didn't eat I wouldn't say a word about it. I would never bring attention to it and punish them for not eating. They would just go to bed at their normal time and likely wake up with a better appetite.

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Okay - I had to quote myself - both of my responses - and then you, because I don't have a clue what you're talking about.. I'm totally lost - LOL..

By refusing to eat a meal, I meant refusing to eat what I prepared because they wanted something else.. (a.k.a being picky).. A child that is hungry tends not to be picky - if they aren't in the habit of parents being short order cooks.. If they were hungry, they would eat what was prepared.. If they weren't hungry, they weren't "forced" to eat - nor were they punished for not being "hungry".. They were punished for refusing to eat "because" they had food available, but were attempting the "picky - I-want-something-else" routine instead.. In that case, they just didn't eat - period.. I can count on one hand how many times that happened - in three generations.. We're all still here, so no one starved..

Is that any clearer? I wouldn't force them to eat if they weren't hungry, but I wouldn't play short order cook either.. So it was either eat what was available or go to bed without eating at all (that's where the punishment lies)..

 

[Katieinwonderland]

My parents did this to me as a kid - and I survived with no signs of an eating disorder or any other lasting side effects.

It was when I acted up at the table...if I made a fuss about the food, if I had poor table manners, if I was rude etc I would be made to leave the table and go to my room. If I hadn't had chance to eat anything, that was tough. I was always told that when I was ready to apologise and behave, I could come back down.

I always came and apologised within 10-15 minutes, and my mom would keep my dinner warm for me. On the rare occasions I waited too long and my dinner was ruined, I was allowed to make myself a bowl of cereal or a salad or something.

It always made sense to me, if I didn't behave at the table I wasn't allowed to be there and we never ate anywhere else.

 

[EthansMom]

The only time DH and I have ever sent one of our children to bed without dinner was a year or so ago when DS was throwing a HUGE fit at dinnertime. I can't recall the exact reasons he was having a tantrum, but we gave him several chances to cool down and return to the dinner table. He was unable to behave and ruining everyone else's dinner. So, he was was eventually sebt to bed without dinner.

 

[TheGoofster]

I'll agree with Papa Deuce on this. If one of my kids does something bad involving the meal (throws it away, complains too much about it, sneaks it to the dog...) then yeah, I'll readily send them to bed without eating. (and people please stop acting like withholding one meal is literally starving the poor kid to death. It's only one meal, in the morning they'll probably eat their breakfast a little more happily)
I also agree that I wouldn't use that as a punishment for something that wasn't related to it (Not doing homework, fighting, etc...)

Did I ever get punished as a child in this manner? Sure did. Did it emotionally damage or physically affect me? Nope, and I have an extra 15 pounds I need to get rid of to prove it.

 

[JessicaR]

Having said that, yes - there is one circumstance where I would send my child to bed without dinner.. That would be:

Refusing to eat the meal that was prepared..

To me, that indicates a child that isn't the least bit hungry - and isn't going to starve to death by missing one meal..

This was what I was referring to. I took it to mean that they werent hungry and didn't eat and they were punished for it. So they 'were' hungry but were just being picky?

I guess it really doesn't matter!

 

[C.Ann]

So they 'were' hungry but were just being picky?

I guess it really doesn't matter!

Exactly! I have a sore throat and a pounding headache today so I'm not surprised that my responses are coming out as clear as "mud"..

 

[JessicaR]

Exactly! I have a sore throat and a pounding headache today so I'm not surprised that my responses are coming out as clear as "mud"..

Sorry you're not feeling so hot. I hope it passes quickly.

 

[minkydog]

I wouldn't withhold food as a punishment, no. BUT, if DD was being picky and didn't want to eat what I fixed for dinner, she could go without food for an evening. I don't run a restaurant- I make one dinner, and if someone in the family doesn't want to eat what I made, they can go hungry for a night.

**EDITING TO ADD** If DD or DH wanted to fix something different for themselves (and not expect me to do it), I'd be OK with that.

I have never sent a child to bed without supper unless they CHOSE not to eat. Throwing food on the floor does not necessarily fall into that catagory. If they throw it, I make them clean it up and apologize. They can finish eating if they choose to behave. If not, then they are excused from the table and there will be no other food until breakfast. I think I've had ONE child try me on that.

I'm like you, I don't prepare 5 separate meals so everyone can have what they want. One meal, take it or leave it. Now, I don't make them eat stuff I KNOW they don't like. If I'm making asparagus I will also fix some pinto beans so the one who doesn't like asparagus can get something he does like. I usually fix 3 or 4 veggies so as to accomodate everybody.

Now I have been known to put a few in their rooms early because of bad behavior, but I let them out IN THEIR PAJAMAS to eat a small supper =chicken soup with cheese & crackers, sandwich & fruit, oatmeal & banana, or fruit & cheese plate. Then they brush teeth and back to their room until morning.