Have you ever left a child at home as punishment?

[mhm]

.

 

[Manda]

Maybe a 14 year old... but not a 7 year old.

 

[ireland_nicole]

please tell me you're kidding.
If not, please tell me you're considering therapy for the child or yourself, either one... because I'm not sure that dynamic is healthy.

 

[msmayor]

There is no way on God's green earth I would exclude a child from a family vacation. That's a scar that would last forever, and I seriously doubt the exclusion would help resolve the behavior problem. Once you got home, the child wouldn't really have much incentive to be good since the next family vacation he/she might miss could be a YEAR away. You'd still be stuck with finding a reasonable and sensible punishment to change the behavior.

 

[Steph9072]

I agree w/ pps I would not leave a 7 yr old home for behavior. A 17 yr old maybe but not 7

 

[kevschickee]

My almost 7 yr old is being such a monster lately (she just hit me and kicked me multiple times) I'm thinking of leaving her at her grandparents while the rest of us go to WDW.

This is just cruel. No I would never do this. Really how can you even consider this? Just mean

 

[DonnaBelle06]

I have an ADHD child.............a child that at times is so WILLFUL that I cannot hardly stand it...........but guess what? I do. Why? Becausde he is "MY" child. The good times outweigh the bad....

Is your child going through a growth spurt? When my son does - his whole behavior goes from normal/tolerable to I can barely stand you. It lasts about a week..........and then things go back to normal.

If your child's behavior is out of the ordinary - I'd have to suggest consulting with your ped to rule out anything.

Now with all this being said - I would NEVER exclude my child from a family vacation. How can it be called a FAMILY vacation if someone from the family is missing??

I hope that you'll give consideration to what people have posted and reevaluate your situation.

 

[kevschickee]

Thanks for nothing!!

WOW really WOW
I can see why you would consider this

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

No way could I leave a 7 year old behind.

Family vacations are for family (and sometimes in and of itself may seem like a punishment). To cut a member out would be incredibly cruel.

 

[StitchFanZ]

Are there other things you could take away or events she could miss out on. Perhaps no friends over or no social outings - i.e. nothing she considers fun. Let her know if she can't treat you with respect then she loses the priviledge of doing anything that is fun.
I'd take her but let her know that disrespectful behavior will cost her something big like not being able to go on rides for part of day. Unfortunately, this means an adult would also miss out too. But, better to deal with it now then when she is a teen!

I once had a two week trip planned to my parents and I left my DD at home with DH because of her attitude. She was about 11 or 12 at the time. She spent a lot of time weeding, pulling blackberry bushes and working with my DH in the fields that week. Her behaviour and attitude improved greatly afterwards. Its a 6 hour drive to my parents, so I met DH half way so she could come for the last part of the trip after her attitude improved. So I left her home for part of a trip, but it wasn't the same as Disney.

 

[MidgeD79]

I have a child (now 11) that has some serious ADHD/Aspergers problems. The last time we went to WDW we stayed at the Nick Hotel for 2 days prior. I told him that for every 3 strikes at home for certain behaviors he would have to sit out of the pool in .5 day increments. It worked wonderful and he was able to spend all day every day in the pool. I didn't have to use the strike system at all this trip. The trick is to get the child involved with the "punishment" and don't make it something you can't/won't follow through. I am disappointed that previous posters felt the need to slam a mom who is totally overwhemed. I have a teenage son who refuses to go with on vacation so he's staying with his Dad. Parents leave babies with relatives and yes some families with children with disabilities leave their children home also. Some people complainabout some parents screaming at their children while at WDW, but complain when parents decide to leave a difficult child at home. maybe we -as a group - could offer OP some suggestions instead of critisism.

 

[mhm]

.

 

[kevschickee]

Leaving a baby because they are too young or leaving a teen because they don't want to go are totally different. Just because we have oppinions that the OP may not like doesn't mean we can't post them. This is the risk you run by posting this kind of stuff.

 

[kevschickee]

Thank you. Obviously everyone else has angelic children who go to their room when put in time out and don't hit and kick their parents. The fact that someone who doesn't even know me or the situation tells me I need therapy, it makes it obvious that the Disboards is not for me.

Nope my kids aren't angelic at all I just would never punish them like this.

 

[ireland_nicole]

Thank you. Obviously everyone else has angelic children who go to their room when put in time out and don't hit and kick their parents. The fact that someone who doesn't even know me or the situation tells me I need therapy, it makes it obvious that the Disboards is not for me.

Actually, it's my post you're reffering to, so please allow me to address this. As a matter of fact, I have a child with multiple disabilities including sever ADHD and high functioning autism. Although receiving appropriate medication and behavior therapy now, as recently as a couple of months ago she would hit kick scream, bite, and attempt to self harm several times a day. I also have seen a counselor when I found myself becoming angry at her in an unhealthy way. So, I wasn't being flip or mean, I was actually making a reasonable suggestion since it sounds by your original post that you are having a tough time with your kiddo at the minute.

 

[stella27]

I have never done this and I would never consider doing this. And like a pp said, it's not because I have angelic children. I would consider this sort of punishment for a child of that age to be cruel.

 

[badblackpug]

Well, I'll go against the grain. I ABSOLUTELY would. ...and I have threatened to do so. Fortunately, the threat was taken seriously, but it was made just the same. My issue wasn't the same as yours. We had a homework issue, and a talking in class issue. (2 separate children) The 1st had developed a bad habit of not doing her homework. She was told, in no uncertain terms, that if there were any more missing assignments, that she would be staying home. She did her homework. The 2nd, we kept getting notes and calls that she was "disrupting the class" by talking and socializing with her friends. Again, the threat went out, one more complaint from the teacher and you will stay home. Guess what? No more complaints.

If your child does not have some sort of disability or delay that causes behavior problems, then, yes, I would use this as "goal." If your trip is close, I would tell her "if you hit again, you will not go to WDW," and remind her daily, "remember if you hit someone today, you will not go to WDW." If your trip is far away I would do some kind of chart or "hit jar" type thing where a mark is made or a marble is put in the jar for each offense and when it is full, the trip is off. A 7 year old without delays or disabilities is old enough to understand "no hitting." I might also work some kind of reward into it like telling her that if she reaches her goal of no hitting, as a reward for working so hard she can plan a whole day. Pick a park, and restaurants. Or go to BBB or something like that.

While I think it would be a very hard lesson to learn, it may be the thing to catch a child's attention. I don't really understand why a child should have the same privileges as the rest if that child is not behaving and the rest are.

 

[littlbugmom]

Since the OP changed her post to "thanks for nothing", I can't read the full story. That's too bad, really.

My ds has mild sensory and OCD issues that make every day situations seem over the top. I know what it's like to struggle with a child who acts in a way that's hard to understand and hard to manage. Like others, I would suggest counseling if the problems are ongoing and nothing seems to help. Counseling is not a negative, imo. It's just getting help when help is needed.

I think a 7yr old hitting his/her parent is cause for concern. If this type of behavior is what the OP is dealing with, I would suggest starting with a discussion with the Ped. and then most likely a Behavior Therapist. I would not leave the child out of a family vacation. I think it would do more harm than good.

I do wish the OP luck.

 

[livie1205]

I understand what you mean and yes I HAVE left my son at home for punishment.I love my son and we go to wdw at least once or twice a year so it is not a once in a lifetime thing.I will not go into why he was left behind but I would do it again for that same reason.A parent should NOT have to be hit by a child.I think you guys have been way to hard on this women.We do not know what the full story is and what she is dealing with,just because it is wdw it does not mean it will scar the child for life if she does not go.
I hope you get help for this before it gets way out of control.Turn on the news very young kids CAN hurt someone.

 

[wall*e2008]

Thanks for nothing!!

Is that what the 7 year old said when you proposed you idea?


So you wanted people to just tell you "Sure leave that stinkin' brat home"?