Have you ever gone to a function where you had to PAY for soda???

[chicagodisneyfan]

I would never expect a host to compromise their beliefs for me.

Nor would I ever expect to be served alcohol at our staunch Christian (where alcohol is against their religious beliefs) friend's parties. And I don't think anything less of them that they did not serve alcohol at their party because as a guest, I respect their beliefs.

To criticize somebody for not compromising their beliefs is beyond tacky.

If the couple is against alcohol, there should be NO alcohol served. To offer it to guests and not pay for it seriously compromises their beliefs.

Again, I think a lot of tacky people on this thread do not understand that there should NEVER be anything "sold" at a wedding. Offer what you want, and I will not complain.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

So the guests who won't eat vegan or vegetarian should just not eat. The hostess/host can find a compromise that will work. Or just invite only vegans.


I personally do not eat meat at every meal, but I know many people who do. Again it is not the decision of the host/hostess to decide that they need to improve their diet.


Marijuana - No because it is illegal.
Alcohol - yes and we had an open bar at our wedding. I am not a drinker but since some of my guest were I served them.

I know lots of people who eat meat, but none who eat ONLY meat. I think at a vegan dinner the meat-eaters will find plenty to eat and enjoy, even though there won't be any meat. This is not about the host or hostess attempting to "improve the diet" of the guests, but about their convictions and beliefs about not participating in what they perceive as abuse of animals.

And if you won't provide marijuana for those who use it, aren't you imposing your beliefs on the guests? YOU don't believe in breaking the law or using illegal drugs, but clearly THEY do. If it's not the host's decision to improve his guest's diet, why does the host get to make the decision about which recreational drug the guests get to use? You prefer serving alcohol because it's legal, but that's YOUR value.

Teresa

 

[acejka]

Oh my goodness... this happened at my wedding!!

The Marriott that we had our reception screwed up big time, and since I was busy being a bride, I never even knew about it until days later.

I told them soft drinks, water, coffee, milk, tea we will pay for but I was not paying for liqour since there are too many drinking problems in our family that I did not want to be responsible for contributing to. The wedding coordinator at the Marriott knew, but lines got crossed with the serving staff.

I felt so bad afterwards. If I had known, I would've had it taken care of, my family's table somehow got free soft drinks though. My husbands family has drinking problems as well and were buying alcohol the whole time so they didn't have any issues but a couple of tables of friends turned out having to pay for sodas. Coffee and water was set out though, that was good that there was at least something but I had it in the contract that anything other than alochol would be free.

I still get angry thinking about it.

 

[rotundofmordant]

Again, I think a lot of tacky people on this thread do not understand that there should NEVER be anything "sold" at a wedding. Offer what you want, and I will not complain.

I guess many people wouldn't like wedding receptions in Tel Aviv then.

Guests at an Israeli wedding hall can now insert a credit card into a machine at its entrance, tap in a sum and leave a gift for the bride and groom.

“It’s new in Israel and the world,” Aya Alon Kaufman of the Gan Oranim hall in Tel Aviv said. “It’s very convenient … guests can give a gift even if they forget their chequebooks.”

She said couples pay $155 to rent the device, which resembles an automated teller machine, and the recorded funds are transferred into their bank account the next day.

The machine prints out a “deposit” slip with the guest’s name, which can be put into an envelope along with a congratulatory note and inserted into a slot in the device for the couple to retrieve.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Yeah- I would have to say no to the Tel Aviv wedding.

 

[creativeamanda]

Yeah- I would have to say no to the Tel Aviv wedding.

For once, we agree

 

[Mouse House Mama]

For once, we agree

First time for everything!

 

[creativeamanda]

First time for everything!

Still wanna come over for lasagna? I won't charge by the slice and even throw in the wine for free.

 

[tigercat]

At my dd's wedding we had a cash bar. We provided non-alcoholic bottled drinks as well as water and we also had a non-alcoholic punch. For the reception we had more of the bottled drinks and punch. We also provided free soda. We had the cash bar because of the grooms dm. She insisted that there be alcohol at the wedding and would not provide any money for it so she insisted there be a cash bar. We do not drink and do not agree with it so would not have provided it. I told the kids to tell everyone that but most of my side knew and since they don't drink either it was no problem. The funny thing was the caterer was really mad at the end of the night because he was expecting a huge amount from the cash bar and he only sold a couple of drinks. Non of the other side drank either because there was so many other things to drink. I think we did provide for our guests.
tigercat

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Still wanna come over for lasagna? I won't charge by the slice and even throw in the wine for free.

I'll bring the meatballs! Oh- and no- there is no 2 meatball limit (like I read about on another thread!)

 

[creativeamanda]

I'll bring the meatballs! Oh- and no- there is no 2 meatball limit (like I read about on another thread!)

Honestly, if you are coming over to an event I am hosting, I would be providing everything for you. (Unless you are like my sister in law and showing up unannounced) That's just how I do it. But I tend to just not worry about how other people handle their stuff. I take their decisions as their decisions. Sometimes I make a mental not not to do it that way. But the Tel Aviv thing? It's tacky to assume someone is going to bring a gift. You invite people to a wedding to share a special day with you. Their presence should be enough.

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

yup. worst wedding ever. it is why we do not seal a wedding envelope gift until after we get to the reception. cheap reception? then maybe the gift may get a little lighter........

this is a joke right?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I know lots of people who eat meat, but none who eat ONLY meat. I think at a vegan dinner the meat-eaters will find plenty to eat and enjoy, even though there won't be any meat. This is not about the host or hostess attempting to "improve the diet" of the guests, but about their convictions and beliefs about not participating in what they perceive as abuse of animals.

I'm vegetarian and my older 3 children have had Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. The first two receptions were at our house and the third at the synagogue. We had the parties catered and yes, all the food was vegetarian. We had a big variety of food and not only did no one leave hungry, but everyone raved about the food. Between the 3 events we had several people comment that they weren't sure how they'd like the food, since it was going to be vegetarian, but loved it.

BTW, we served unlimited beer and wine, but had no bar with hard liquor (which is what had been served at most other B'nai Mitzvahs that we'd attended).

 

[Dr.Girlfriend]

I think its interesting that you would have your wedding at a place where you couldn't afford a simple soda for your guests? You can rent plenty of places that allow you to bring your own drinks in for minimal costs (meaning: go to Costco and get a bunch of two liters etc...) .
I'm sure not one person complained to your face....., but behind your back ???
Honestly, you spent soooo much on the buffet that you couldn't afford soda?

You're such a sweetheart. We put our money for our reception in other areas, not in piddly glasses of soda.

 

[Dr.Girlfriend]

That is correct; water was not SERVED at all. And I said this earlier; had there been pitchers of ice water on the table, that would've been GREAT. There would've been no need for DH and I to drink anything else. I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of trying to hunt down something cold to drink that didn't include paying cash for, and since DH did want a diet soda and was willing to run to the ATM, he did just that. Nobody even noticed his absence.

The reason I posted this thread in the first place is because I thought it was ridiculous that we were put in a situation where DH had to go get cash, in order for us to have a cold drink to wash our dinners down with. Nothing more, nothing less.

I apologize for not realizing that they didn't even offer water to drink. That is strange.

 

[Dr.Girlfriend]

I agree that alternatives are important. I think that soda, bottled water, iced tea and coffee would cover the "free" choices.

Like I said in another post, we offered free water, iced and hot tea and coffee. A lot of weddings in this area do not offer free soda. It's overpriced for what you get, and at $2 a glass per person (especially when you can go to the grocery store and get a 2 liter for less than $2), we felt it was an unnecessary expense...and chose to have other "free" drinks.

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

do think it's my responsibility to ensure my guests are happy and couldn't imagine having a cash bar. On the other hand, I wouldn't complain if I went to a cash bar event, I would be the guest in that case and would behave as such and be appreciative to have just been invited. Just as I would want to be accommodating as a host, I think you should be accommodating as a guest.

I agree with you.
Now being someone from NE. The laws have changed. My nephew is getting married in 6 weeks. When they started looking at halls and asked about open bars they kept being told no more than an hour. The places would not allow the drunk driving issues and maybe a law suite.
But I have never gone to a wedding, shower or any kind of party without cash.
Even with an open bar you still need to tip the bar and wait staff.

 

[goofinoff]

Didn't read the whole thread.

I don't find Cash Bars tacky. I find Open Bars a luxury. I have been to weddings with both. At my wedding we did a cocktail hour with complimentary beer and wine. Mixed drinks were not included. After the cocktail hour it turned to a full Cash bar (alcohol only) except for the wedding party. My parents paid for them. Open bars can be very pricey. At my brother's first wedding they planned on having an open bar for the first hour but the father of the bride decided to keep it open. My brother told me later that the bar bill was almost $7,000!!! I couldn't believe it. I've been to regular bars that don't charge for a soda! They figure you're the Designated driver so it's usually on the house.

 

[goofinoff]

I agree with you.
Now being someone from NE. The laws have changed. My nephew is getting married in 6 weeks. When they started looking at halls and asked about open bars they kept being told no more than an hour. The places would not allow the drunk driving issues and maybe a law suite.
But I have never gone to a wedding, shower or any kind of party without cash.
Even with an open bar you still need to tip the bar and wait staff.

Good point!!

 

[goofinoff]

The most tacky wedding was my stripper cousin Mandy's..... My parents received a PHOTOCOPIED invite to the wedding...THEN...the reception was POT LUCK...they asked everyone on the invite to bring a dish to the reception. THis wouldn't have been soooo bad but many of us were flying in from a few hundred miles away.. Can you imagine making a dish in your hotel room???