Have you ever done an interfaith (part jewish) ceremony?

[Suzymouse]

Hi there,

My other thread got deleted by accident, but Maria and Decemberbride were extremely helpful for me-thank you both

I was wondering if anyone had any experience with doing an interfaith ceremony? I am Jewish & DF is not any religion really (besides atheist). He is not opposed to incorporating jewish traditions into our WDW ceremony.

If so, are there any specific traditions that are not accepted to perform at an interfaith wedding? Again, DF is bringing no religious traditions from his side and is fine with whatever I choose to bring into our ceremony.

Also, is there such thing as a rabbi who will perform a ceremony for an interfaith couple?

Thank you everyone!

 

[MariaLovesJon<3]

Here's what I was going to reply to you on the other thread lol:

I do think chupahs would be fine in an interfaith ceremony; most non-Jews will probably think it's "just" a wedding canopy. Here's an excellent website concerning interfaith weddings. Rabbi Allen also has a sample ceremony on his page if you would like to see it! I've also heard of the breaking of the glass being used in interfaith weddings, if that's something you would like to include. However, the traditional Jewish wedding vows are considered a no-no at interfaith weddings (because of their mention of Moses and the Laws of Israel) but I'm sure there's so many other options available!

I hope this helps! :

 

[Keira1387]

Hi, I just wanted to appoligize for what you have had to go through tonight. It's normally not like this. Almost everyone on here is great on giving information and advice! Sorry I can't help you with the religious part.

 

[JonetteA]

When you get your planner, they should have a list of Rabbis that can help you at least answer a few questions. I know that it is extremely difficult to have a Catholic ceremony on Disney property that is recognized by the church and performed by a priest. I think I have that right.

 

[Suzymouse]

Here's what I was going to reply to you on the other thread lol:

I do think chupahs would be fine in an interfaith ceremony; most non-Jews will probably think it's "just" a wedding canopy. Here's an excellent website concerning interfaith weddings. Rabbi Allen also has a sample ceremony on his page if you would like to see it! I've also heard of the breaking of the glass being used in interfaith weddings, if that's something you would like to include. However, the traditional Jewish wedding vows are considered a no-no at interfaith weddings (because of their mention of Moses and the Laws of Israel) but I'm sure there's so many other options available!

I hope this helps! :

Thank you again Maria, I will check out his site right now. Is this guy located in Florida?

Hi, I just wanted to appoligize for what you have had to go through tonight. It's normally not like this. Almost everyone on here is great on giving information and advice! Sorry I can't help you with the religious part.

Thank you Keira, but no worries really. It's just bad timing that I decided to join while these little girls came on and started some trouble. I just didn't want anyone to think that I was one of them!
I have met some very kind and helpful people so far. In fact, here's one now

When you get your planner, they should have a list of Rabbis that can help you at least answer a few questions. I know that it is extremely difficult to have a Catholic ceremony on Disney property that is recognized by the church and performed by a priest. I think I have that right.

Thanks JonetteA! How early in advance can I contact the planners? We are in the very early planning stages right now (2010/2011 wedding). Will they provide me with a list this early or do I need to wait until we are ready to book?

 

[SarahInMN]

Suzymouse -

We are planning an interfaith wedding for 2009! Kind of like you, I am Jewish and my fiance is agnostic.

We are having a very short ceremony but will have a chuppah. I wanted someone we knew to perform the ceremony and the Rabbis I know won't perform interfaith ceremonies. As a result, we are having a friend who is ordained perform a very secular but somewhat spiritual ceremony.

The Disney wishbook site has an officiant list once you register/set up a wishbook. I haven't read much here about the the rabbi they have listed, so I don't know much about the people. Sorry for the long cut/paste, but here are the secular officiants/rabbis that they have listed:

Rabbi Robert Lefkowitz
2205 Blue Sapphire Circle
Orlando, FL 32837
407-855-0772 (phone)
www.weddingrabbi.com

Joann Elf Pessagno
Notary Wedding Specialist
PO Box 470207
Celebration, FL 34747
979-541-4981 (phone)
elf@elfinspirit.com

Ronald Rosenzweig
Notary Wedding Specialist
606 Broadoak Loop
Lake Forest, FL 32771
407-330-9195 (phone)
407-294-1983 (fax)
ron@wedinorlando.com
www.wedinorlando.com

To MariaLovesJon: Thanks for that excellent link!! I'm going to send the sample ceremony to our friend who is officiating.

Hope that helps!!!

 

[MariaLovesJon<3]

SarahinMN: No problem! Glad I could help!

Suzy: No, unfortunately Rabbi Allen is not in FL; I actually stumbled upon his page through my own rabbi (they were friends in rabbinical school! Small world!). I don't know if there's much information on Rabbi Lefkowitz (the Disney recommendation for a rabbi) but he does have a website (www.weddingrabbi.com) so you could start there to gather more information on him! HTH!

 

[Suzymouse]

Thank you both so much!!

I'm off to work but will write more tonight!

 

[rwrocksme]

I have a woman who would be able to help you. She has performed many interfaith ceremonys, including Jewish/Other mixes. Plus, she is in Florida. I have PM'ed her email to you.

 

[alissa2008]

Hey gals -- JoAnn "Elf" is our officiant, but I was almost certain she is nondenominational (for those of us, like your DFs, who are atheist/agnostic). She may be certified to do other religious ceremonies, but I'm just throwing that out there...

IMO, there really isn't an issue with an atheist/jewish wedding, because there really isn't a conflicting (persay) element. If your DF is willing to do/say what he needs to to complete the jewish ceremony, then there's not really a prob. I'm not sure what requirements Judism has for its wedding couples, you may want to check into that as well (not sure how devout you are). I know, being raised Catholic, that both couples have to have passed a "rite" called Confirmation of Faith...which can be a long process for those that haven't gone through it in the teen years.

Sorry, little rant... hope it helps...or at least gives you an idea for what questions to ask... GOOD LUCK!

 

[Suzymouse]

I have a woman who would be able to help you. She has performed many interfaith ceremonys, including Jewish/Other mixes. Plus, she is in Florida. I have PM'ed her email to you.

Thank you so much for the info! I tried to PM you back, but I guess I don't have enough posts yet....so, thank you!

 

[Suzymouse]

Hey gals -- JoAnn "Elf" is our officiant, but I was almost certain she is nondenominational (for those of us, like your DFs, who are atheist/agnostic). She may be certified to do other religious ceremonies, but I'm just throwing that out there...

IMO, there really isn't an issue with an atheist/jewish wedding, because there really isn't a conflicting (persay) element. If your DF is willing to do/say what he needs to to complete the jewish ceremony, then there's not really a prob. I'm not sure what requirements Judism has for its wedding couples, you may want to check into that as well (not sure how devout you are). I know, being raised Catholic, that both couples have to have passed a "rite" called Confirmation of Faith...which can be a long process for those that haven't gone through it in the teen years.

Sorry, little rant... hope it helps...or at least gives you an idea for what questions to ask... GOOD LUCK!

Well, my DF is pretty ok doing anything traditional, he just doesn't feel comfortable "swearing to God" or anything like that. My problem is I have limited knowledge of jewish wedding traditions....except I know I want them! It's weird, I'm not very religious, but I enjoy my religion alot and I want to be able to experience some jewish wedding traditions, like my mom did, and my grandma, etc....

 

[SarahInMN]

If your DF is willing to do/say what he needs to to complete the jewish ceremony, then there's not really a prob.

I think though there's two issues and one of them is problematic for interfaith marraiges.

One is Jewish elements (breaking the glass, raising a chuppah, bedeken, circling, the yichud, seudah, etc), in which if a non-Jew is willing to participate, then that's not an issue to have a Jew-ish (yes the hypen is intentional).

The other issue is not about a non-Jew's willingness to complete. It's about that person being a non-Jew which has been a struggle for me because I wanted a Jewish wedding but fell madly in love with a non-Jew. There are some parts that can't be performed if one individual is non-Jewish like the seven blessings or the traditional ketubah.

Sorry if this was a bit off topic but I have been thinking alot about Jewish and Jew-ish weddings lately.

 

[Suzymouse]

Here's what I was going to reply to you on the other thread lol:

I do think chupahs would be fine in an interfaith ceremony; most non-Jews will probably think it's "just" a wedding canopy. Here's an excellent website concerning interfaith weddings. Rabbi Allen also has a sample ceremony on his page if you would like to see it! I've also heard of the breaking of the glass being used in interfaith weddings, if that's something you would like to include. However, the traditional Jewish wedding vows are considered a no-no at interfaith weddings (because of their mention of Moses and the Laws of Israel) but I'm sure there's so many other options available!

I hope this helps! :

Ok, so I emailed Rabbi Allen, explained my situation, and gave him a brief background, and you know what his response was?

"Why on earth would you get married at Walt Disney World??"

I couldn't believe it! He followed it up with a generic letter that he sends to prospective clients, but wow-is it really that kooky to get married at WDW?? I thought WDW was known for being one of the mot popular places to get married? Plus, it works for an interfaith wedding as the venues are all nondenomenational.

Oh well, I'll keep looking around I guess. Maybe Rabbi Allen secretly works for one of those young girls who were invading this site the other day (only kidding!)

Anyways, just wanted to share that with ya. It is kinda funny I guess.

What we need to do next is find information on which jewish rituals are allowed and which ones need to be modified. & how to modify them.

I REALLY REALLY want to have a ketubah and I'm trying to figure out how I can modify one.

 

[SarahInMN]

Why on earth would you get married at Walt Disney World??"

Wow...That was a bit, um, well, rather impolitic. And really not all that helpful either.

There are a few good Jewish wedding books out there that may be good references or starting points: The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant, The Everything Jewish Wedding Book by Helen Latner, and Make Your Own Jewish Wedding by Ana Schwartzman. Check out your local bookstore and browse what they have: be sure to check both the wedding and Judaica sections as Jewish wedding books may be filed in either place.

I also stumbled upon these websites (1, 2) which create ketubot with modifiable text.

Sorry again about Rabbi Allen.

 

[DecemberBride]

What a strange response! Keep looking for someone who is as excited as you are about your nuptials! I have rev. Tim Herring doing my wedding and when I first approached him about it, he said, "Disney in December. You're so lucky. I couldn't picture a better time!" He's probably that sweet to everyone, but it made me feel extra special!

Keep "shopping" around. You'll find someone who is perfect for your ceremony!

 

[Suzymouse]

Wow...That was a bit, um, well, rather impolitic. And really not all that helpful either.

There are a few good Jewish wedding books out there that may be good references or starting points: The New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant, The Everything Jewish Wedding Book by Helen Latner, and Make Your Own Jewish Wedding by Ana Schwartzman. Check out your local bookstore and browse what they have: be sure to check both the wedding and Judaica sections as Jewish wedding books may be filed in either place.

I also stumbled upon these websites (1, 2) which create ketubot with modifiable text.

Sorry again about Rabbi Allen.

Thanks Sarah! & thank you for those links! I especially love the ketubot gallery from judaicconnection.com.

I instantly fell in love with this artwork & if it's ok with DF (which it should be-he's so easy about this stuff), I think I want this one:

Thank you for those book selections as well.

 

[MariaLovesJon<3]

Ok, so I emailed Rabbi Allen, explained my situation, and gave him a brief background, and you know what his response was?

"Why on earth would you get married at Walt Disney World??"

WHAT?!!?!?

Of all things to say to someone!

Sorry about his reply , you would think someone who wants to share in the joy of others' unions would be more sensitive as to where they choose to say their vows and commit to each other forever.

 

[Suzymouse]

WHAT?!!?!?

Of all things to say to someone!

Sorry about his reply , you would think someone who wants to share in the joy of others' unions would be more sensitive as to where they choose to say their vows and commit to each other forever.

Hi Maria!

Yeah, I thought it was a strange response.....especially since the feel of his website seemed so open minded! Maybe he isnt familiar with WDW weddings and thought we were gonna set up camp outside It's a Small World or something-

Anyways, what do you think of the ketubah I picked out? I posted it on my PJ as well. The website allows you to see the "interfaith" hebrew text with english trans written above and it seems appropriate I think.

 

[MariaLovesJon<3]

Hey Suzy!

Rabbi Allen just doesn't know how great a Disney wedding (and Disney in general) is! I do agree though; since he's performing interfaith ceremonies anyway, he should be more open-minded than the average officiant. Oh well, just slip these on and forget about him! LOL

The ketubah is BEAUTIFUL! If you really want to incorporate the "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine", there's some ketubahs that have the saying incorporated into the artwork itself (it is in Hebrew though; I don't know if that makes a difference to you and your DF) here. It's very "frou-frou" but there's other styles too!

I can't wait to read more about your plans! I'm so excited for you!