Hate to do this, but have a topic about abortion...

[babar]

Okay, had an experience with a friend recently.

Here's my stance. I believe life begins at conception. I truly do. That's me. I am the ONLY person I know outside my parents that feel the same as I do.

BUT, I understand and respect that others won't believe what I believe. That is why I am pro-choice. Someone I am close to chose to have one recently. She does not believe what I believe. I went with her to do this. I was there to hold her hand and take her home afterwards and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I seriously don't understand why people can't grasp the fact that not everyone will believe what you believe. It is so personal, your beliefs. It is something you have to decide by looking deep inside yourself, so I respect what anyone decides is right for themselves.

All I can say is people standing outside and spewing hatred at a place where women have to sometimes come to make the hardest decision of their lives are SCUM.

God doesn't pick and choose. The God I believe in loves all and understands everyone chooses their own path.

Really, really disgusted today. Disappointed in people today.

I posted this really late at night, hopefully no one will really read this, but had to type this out so I could read it back to myself.
thanks.

 

[totalia]

Wow. Its good to see someone so open minded.

 

[chadfromdallas]

All I can say is people standing outside and spewing hatred at a place where women come to sometimes make the hardest decision of their lives are SCUM.

Back when I was in high school, they use to come up there and do it as well; Holding up the signs and such. They are a terrible bunch of people.

That was absolutely great for you to go with your friend and care for her like you did. You seem like a great friend to have

 

[HisEllyNelly]

Babar, I just wanted to say how lucky your friend is to have someone as non judgemental as you are for a friend.

BTW...on the issue of abortion, I feel the same as you do.

 

[eeyore45]

{{hugs}}

I understand. I agree totally, and I'm glad my God is a God of grace. I will never be able to throw that stone.

I had a wonderful friend that finally opened up to me 15 years after her experience, and she still cried as it was yesterday. She was raped at 15. My sil and I dont have a relationship, and she tried to sneak in, 24 years later, 3 marriages, and no children, I know she lives with her decsion in a way I could never understand, and I pray she will find peace.

I too hope no one mis interprets my words.

It is cathartic to post.

 

[poohandwendy]

Babar,

I know what you mean. I also believe that life begins at conception. Years ago, I was in your shoes when someone close to me decided to have an abortion. I went with her because I didn't stand the thought of her not having my support on one of the hardest days of her life.

For some reason the protesters thought I was the one who was entering the building to have an abortion and grabbed and harassed me. They shoved pictures in my face and a priest screamed at kme that I was a sinner and tried to physically bar me from entering the building. Truth be told, it was scary the way I was treated. I didn't want to tell them I wasn't the one there for an abortion because I didn't want he focus shifted to my loved one who slipped by unnoticed. It was awful.

I couldn't help but think...sheesh, this is NOT the way you handle this. This is not the way to stop abortions.

It was very uncomfortable being there when I do not believe that abortion is the answer. I had little children at the time. I knew that you could get through an unplanned pregnancy and have a positive outcome. It was a very sad day.

But, it was more important for me to be supportive of someone I love. It was her decision, I had the opportunity to make my own choices. I had to respect that.

I still feel strongly that life begins at conception. But, I also think that we need to consider the person who is scared and feels they have no alternative.

 

[Rowena]

Thank you for being there for your friend. Even though you did not agree with her, thank you for being there.

People can be quite vehement about certain things. I'm sorry you had to see how ugly they can be about things they feel strongly about.

Honestly, I am pro-choice. I don't want my daughter/niece/future granddaughter looking at a coat-hanger as a possible option because abortion is abolished.

I have also had an abortion. I don't regret it. The boy I was with was not a man, and most definately NOT a man I'd want to be in contact with for 18 years, what with the verbal and emotional abuse threatening to escalte to physical .We both were living out of my car at the time. As soon as I was pregnant, I was constantly ill. I could not eat anything without vomiting. I could not do anyting, like take a short ride in car without vomiting. I was a puke machine. I lost 17 pounds in a month because I kept nothing down. He did not have a good family medical history, as his father just died of heart disease, his sister had diabetes, and his mother was scitzoprenic(sp?).

A couple years later.....when I was pregnant the only 2 other times...I seldom vomited. I mean one or two bouts of morning sickness with them each. Not kidding. I had aversions and craving, but vomiting was memorable because it really didn't happen.

Go ahead, cream/flame me for admitting my past. I have thought about it, but I still don't regret it.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

You are a very understanding and true friend. She is lucky to have you.

 

[Bobbles]

Now that is a great example of true friendship!
Nice going BABAR! Your friend is very lucky to have you.

 

[shortbun]

Several years ago, they blew up a clinic at the end of my street. I live in a residential neighborhood. This fall I took my 9yo to a very low key, family oriented, indoor politcal event called Moms for Kerry. Loads of children there. So were the people with fetus signs and bull horns. My son asked who they were and why they were there. I told him they were insane and bad people that were trying to scare him. That is exactly who they are.
You really stepped up for your friend. Thank you for being such a great woman!

 

[s&k'smom]

What a good friend you are. I understand, my sister is prolife and I am prochoice and you know what we just don't talk about it. Though I could never have one myself I would support someone who did because I believe in the end this is not a casual choice.

 

[mtemm]

great job stepping up for your friend! years ago I used to get my bc pills from PP and I was harassed by protesters going in to get them. Um, hello.

 

[ORD2KOA]

Babar, you're a good and true friend and did a good and loving thing for your friend.

All I can say is people standing outside and spewing hatred at a place where women have to sometimes come to make the hardest decision of their lives are SCUM.

Now, about "those" people - wouldn't you like to know how many children they've each adopted? That's always what I've wondered.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Trying to respond respectfully.....

It was kind of you to do what you did--but something I will never understand. How one can be so morally opposed to something (or be so convicted in their belief) and yet offer a loving hand to someone who chooses to do something that is quite contrary to your beliefs. Given the topic I couldn't do it myself--doesn't make me better than you or you better than me. Just means that I can't do it and I cannot grasp the idea of why you are able.

We all have a right to protest. And peaceful silent protest is best--have your signs or whatever...but yelling at anybody and getting in their face or touching them is unacceptable in any format. You won't win anyone over with such brutal tactics and I'm sorry that you guys had to endure that kind of behavior. Anyone who behaves that way gives freedom of speech a bad name. I may have my strong beliefs--but you won't catch me outside of an abortion clinic for these very examples that you guys have provided.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Babar, I feel as you do, too, and I never understood those protesters (although my mother is one--but I never understood her, either!).

Most women who have abortions, do so after much soul searching. It is a sad relief, not a celebration. I feel for such a woman who has to make such a difficult choice. There are some women who get abortions like they get their teeth cleaned--these women I don't get, but I would still rather they be in a safe place with sterile equipment and perhaps a counselor who will help them prevent the next one.

I can't help but wonder if the protesters are trying to "prove" something by getting into people's faces like that. Ironically, they would consider it rude at any other venue. I have no objection to peaceful protests by anyone with an opposing view.

Best to you, and prayers to your friend.

 

[Charade]

Trying to respond respectfully.....

It was kind of you to do what you did--but something I will never understand. How one can be so morally opposed to something (or be so convicted in their belief) and yet offer a loving hand to someone who chooses to do something that is quite contrary to your beliefs. Given the topic I couldn't do it myself--doesn't make me better than you or you better than me. Just means that I can't do it and I cannot grasp the idea of why you are able.

I pretty much agree with you. I would try to convince the person to make a different choice. I am not a very religious person but I have strong moral beliefs about abortion and that life begins at conception. But abortion is different than other moral dilemmas because to some it is not an immoral act to have an abortion such as murder or theft (and such). If a person doesn't believe that it is an immoral act, then no amount of convincing will change them. I don't think that I would try to. But I would certainly try to convince them not to do it.

I wonder how much support someone would give to a friend or family member that (purposely) committed what are by our societies standards a serious immoral action like murder? If you believe that both abortion and murder are against your moral convictions but one is a personal decision (actually, they both are) and one isn't, how do you reconcile any differences? Would you provide support for a family member or friend who pretty much was a decent person who suddenly killed another person without provocation?

 

[Serena]

Babar, you are a true and wonderful friend. thank you for being there for her. Because that is the thing, you weren't there for any other reason than because your friend needed you.

 

[poohandwendy]

It was kind of you to do what you did--but something I will never understand. How one can be so morally opposed to something (or be so convicted in their belief) and yet offer a loving hand to someone who chooses to do something that is quite contrary to your beliefs. Given the topic I couldn't do it myself--doesn't make me better than you or you better than me. Just means that I can't do it and I cannot grasp the idea of why you are able.

That's a good question without a very good answer, I guess. In my case, it was a close family member and no matter how much I offered support for her to have the baby...she was adamant about aborting.

I knew she was going alone and could not stand by and allow her to be alone in the process. I was more worried that something would happen to her, maybe a complication or something, than I was about my personal beliefs being adhered to. I worried that she may even have second thoughts and noone to talk to. Maybe even hopeful. I just could not allow her to not have someone who really cared about her with her. And I prayed about it.

Everyone around her knew her decision, but noone stepped up. She would have done it with or without me. She was 16 years old.

I did what I thought was the right thing for me to do, at the time. I resigned myself to the fact that it was NOT my decision. But I did have a choice whether or not to be supportive of someone I love when they really needed me. I had to choose that for her.

Not sure if that explains my feelings, but unless you are in the situation, maybe you could never understand.

I wonder how much support someone would give to a friend or family member that (purposely) committed what are by our societies standards a serious immoral action like murder? If you believe that both abortion and murder are against your moral convictions but one is a personal decision (actually, they both are) and one isn't, how do you reconcile any differences? Would you provide support for a family member or friend who pretty much was a decent person who suddenly killed another person without provocation?

Yes, I would. That doesn't mean that I would agree with or support their actions. Doesn't mean I wouldn't try to stop them from doing what I consider the wrong thing. It means that I continue to love them no matter what.

And while you may consider it an action without provocation, really unless you have been a 16 year old who is pregnant, you cannot imagine the corner they feel they are in. Really, you can't.

 

[Serena]

unless you are in the situation, maybe you could never understand.

Wendy, I really do believe that.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Babar you are a good friend. We should have more people like you.
I do agree with you also. I never could understand how other people have the right to tell you what to do with your own body. It's an extremely private choice that should be made the person alone. Am I going to tell these people what to wear, eat and who to have a relationship with. They have no right to tell a person what to do when it comes to abortion.