Has Anyone had the Teacher ask for a Letter of Introduction from the Parents?

[momto2girls]

OP-- I think that you handled the request appropriately. A nice letter divulging your child's life and what you want you feel is important for the teacher to know about him is appropriate. I understand a teacher wanting to know a bit more about the child. However, I agree that I would not have shared my personal autobiography, at least not without an explanation of its relevance. That particular request, IMO, should just be ignored.

 

[roadtripper]

This is exactly the attitude that makes parents feel there is indeed a parent versus teacher/ home versus school dichotomy going on. You're ridiculing the op's concerns in a very "teacher like" way- as if speaking to an errant child.

NOW I remember why I never post on the families board! You must have missed the winking thumbs up
Every time I come over here I am surprised by the amount of teacher/ school bashing--and I don't even READ the "for how many weeks can I take my child out of school?" threads!

 

[sconnell]

lol. This thread is an emotional rollar coaster for me. My oldest child just started PreK this year. I was an ECE major and in general respect the teaching process.

One of the fun things about this board for me, is seeing the differences in people. We all have different backgrounds and different feelings.

My DH & I come from very similar and very different families. In my home growing up, you never mentioned specific $ amounts for salaries or things of that sort. I was in college before I knew that my parents were in the "$100,000 or above" category. I really had no clue. However, my DH's parents wouldn't think anything of saying, "So, how much are they paying you for ...?" It get's under my skin! lol. But, I don't think that either way is right or wrong. It's just how we were raised. I usually give vague answers and my husband is very specific about money. Even though I do the finances. lol.

Anyway, I'm so glad that my DD's teacher is involved and can feel out how much you want to tell her. She doesn't push for more, but is caring and loving and uses everything she knows about a kid to help them learn! I think that comes from experience, she's been teaching for 20 years!

 

[LuvOrlando]

DS just came home from school with an 'ALL ABOUT ME' assignment. He has a booklet and is expected to fill it out with either drawings or photos of him, his family, his favorite things and what he wants to be when he grows up. I guess this is a trend now, its nice to know the teacher is interested. I can see why it might be important too. All sorts of stuff might make a difference in the child and a picture tells a thousand words.

Of course, his pictures are from our Feb visit to WDW The family picture is in front of Canada at Epcot . DS's individual shot is a favorite of him smiling ear to ear after throwing himself into a self-made sand dune at Ft Wilderness following a pony ride.

I can't wait to go back. Every time I go through those pictures I just want to hop on a plane for another trip.

 

[Becky2005]

I just got a paper recently from DD's Language Arts teacher and it made me think of this thread.

It wasn't about the parents but about the child, asking if there is anything she can do to make 7th grade better, any issues that she should be aware of etc... and it wasn't only about Language Arts. She put on there that it is the holistic approach to teaching and when I read that, I thought *AHA* THAT is why you were asked an autobiography.

I have no idea but this thread is what popped into my head and I thought that's it. I have never been asked about my background in general per se except when filling out paperwork for IEP's which is WAY more specific questioning about everything going on.

 

[penguin087]

I want to start off saying I have great respect for good teachers. I think teaching is a calling to some.
One of my biggest pet peeves though is my son coming home with homework...FOR ME. I can't stand that! My son is now in 7th grade and over the years we have had only 2 teachers that felt the need to give me regular assignments. Have your mom write this...have your mom make that...have your mom conduct this experiment to prove... They are also the ones that came up with the assignments to interview 6 people over the age of 80 who were not born in this country, have 50% of their original teeth, drive a Ford, and at one time earned a living as a farmer. Just absolutely ridiculous things to make me scramble.
I don't have a problem providing information for a specific reason. If there is a problem the teacher should discuss it with me so together we can find a solution.

 

[vhoffman]

I guess I felt like it was a homework assignment for me, too. The first week of school I received a ton of papers, forms to fill out, etc. I had to buy another filing box just to keep track of the papers sent home! And they still keep coming! Communication is important, but its really over done at our school. Then its almost bedtime on a Sunday night, I open their backpacks and find an "assignment" for me! Alright, I really should have looked at those folders sooner. I do so now on Friday afternoon, to avoid unpleasant surprises on Sunday night. However, the school never gives homework over the weekend, so I thought I was ok there. Then I find I have homework!

We're more into a routine now. As soon as the kids come home from school, they're allowed 1/2 hour to unwind, however they wish--tv, games, phone calls to friends, etc., along with a healthy snack. They've been at it all day, they do need a break! During that 1/2 hour, I go through their folders and line up whatever they need to do. No, I'm not doing it for them, just getting them set up. Then its homework, usually while I'm gettind dinner on or whatever. I'm a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) so I have a fair amount of time after school to spend with them. what about children who's parents work? Sometimes the first chance they have to look at those folders is 8-9 pm or later, by the time they pick up their kids, etc. Most after-school care programs that I'm aware of encourage children to do their homework there, but that doesn't give the parent any time for their assignments. Honestly, I just felt so pressured when I found that assignment! I felt I needed to give it some thought and care, not just slop through it. Also, I didn't want to disclose anything too personal. I considered just not doing it, but felt that would reflect even worse on dd and us.

I constantly hear about how teachers are so tired, over worked, underpaid. Well, they should realize they're not the only ones with time and money constraints (I have a whole other thread about requests for gifts, fundraisers, etc). I just wish teachers would realize that they're not the only ones with other constraints. Before I get flamed, let me say that I am very interested in my children's education and do make every effort to work with them. I sometimes feel I'm the teacher. I teach them the basics, like math facts, reading, spelling, sentence construction, etc. (all that is sent home as assignments!) While it seems to me the children spend so much of their time essentially "fooling around" while at school. It seems there's always some sort of party, field trip, artsy fartsy project, etc. Then the basic, core subjects are packed off as "homework". When both the kids and me are tired after a long day and not at our best, I get to do the teaching while they do the "fun fun" all day at school. The I'm expected to do assignments--like write an autobiography! Oh, well.....like I tell my kids, just suck it up and go on!

 

[Fainfamily5]

Do you mean that all your children do at school are fun activities and the teachers send home all the core subjects for you to teach them at home? I am a teacher and a parent and this would concern me. Maybe you should just homeschool and save yourself and the teachers at your children's school the aggrevation. It seems to me that you are a little defensive from the get go and you see the teacher as someone who is out to get you. I enjoy getting to know the families of the students that I teach. I miss the parents when they leave my class too. I always ask what do I need to know about your child or family that will help me better understand and meet your child's needs. This allows the parent to open up and let me know of concerns they have or give them a chance to brag some. Both are good!!! I see someone else's child more than I see my own for the next 180 days. They do become my children. As one poster said they tell us everything anyway. We are here to help. It takes the parents and the teacher to educate a child. WE should not be out to get each other. IT makes me sad when I see attitudes like this b/c most of the time the children copy their parents attitudes and it can make for a very hard year. I hope that the rest of your year goes better and hopefully you will find a way to work with this teacher and hopefully see that she wasn't out to get you or your child.

 

[winjos]

I just wanted to post about looking in the files to get information on children.

I taught high school. The school population was about 3700 when I left. That equated to about 200 students each year per teacher. Now, students come and go, transfer in and transfer out, stay in or drop out. To take the time to go down to the registrar, find the files, look up the information, on every student in one's class would take the full year. I don't know when I would have found time between grading hundreds of essays, tests, writing assignments, quizzes, homework assignments, not to mention planning classtime.

I taught Language Arts and I would request information about students and their families. I wanted to get to know them. I did not ask for a detailed account (i.e. every single horrible detail of their lives), I wanted a general idea about their home life.

Teachers are very much in the dark about their students. I had a student transfered into my class who had just gotten out of juvenile detention (violent offense). I was 6 months pregnant. On his second day in class, I asked for his pass because he was late. Let me just say that I was lucky my desk was between us. My students were speachless after he slammed out of the classroom. Bottom line, I did not know about his background at all. The school did not let me know about his past, nor would I have ever looked up his file because I would have no idea about this kid's past. My neighbor (he also taught at the same school that I did) had a kid in his class that had threatened a previous teacher at a different school. He had no idea about this kid's past.

Any insight teachers can get on a student is helpful. Like another poster stated, it really is a team effort to educate our youth.

 

[penguin087]

Do you mean that all your children do at school are fun activities and the teachers send home all the core subjects for you to teach them at home? I am a teacher and a parent and this would concern me. Maybe you should just homeschool and save yourself and the teachers at your children's school the aggrevation. It seems to me that you are a little defensive from the get go and you see the teacher as someone who is out to get you. I enjoy getting to know the families of the students that I teach. I miss the parents when they leave my class too. I always ask what do I need to know about your child or family that will help me better understand and meet your child's needs. This allows the parent to open up and let me know of concerns they have or give them a chance to brag some. Both are good!!! I see someone else's child more than I see my own for the next 180 days. They do become my children. As one poster said they tell us everything anyway. We are here to help. It takes the parents and the teacher to educate a child. WE should not be out to get each other. IT makes me sad when I see attitudes like this b/c most of the time the children copy their parents attitudes and it can make for a very hard year. I hope that the rest of your year goes better and hopefully you will find a way to work with this teacher and hopefully see that she wasn't out to get you or your child.

Wow my little joke about the ridiculous assignments must have hit close to home..........

 

[vhoffman]

Winjos,

What an awful experience! You should have been informed about the student's problems. However, I don't think you would have gotten the information you needed from an information letter from the parents!

There's a ton of information in children's files and no, you can't be expected to cull through all of them, or, like you say, the school year would be over by the time you did all that! However, certain information that directly affects the safety of the teacher and the other children in your class should have been given to you. You really should speak to your principal and school board about being informed. At least I would! There's a difference between asking for nit picky details and information as essential as what you weren't given. How can you teach when you're afraid? Don't be afraid to complain to your school about your experience. Schools need teachers, at least in most areas. They should give you the support you deserve!

 

[vhoffman]

I really am dissappointed at the way the school is starting off. No, they don't spend the entire day doing fun projects and I don't spend the entire evening drilling them on the basics, like math, but it is turned around. Seems they just don't spend as much time on core material as they should, they're so busy spinning around with little projects, etc. Last week my dd came home with posters they'd made about animals, as part of language arts. They wrote a short paragraph about the animal, then spent most of the time coloring a picture of it! The picture took up 3/4 of the poster. They each wrote about 4 sentences about the animal, then, apparently, spent the rest of the time coloring! Then that night I spent at least 2 hours working on spelling, sentences, reading, math facts, etc. (which they're weak on!) Can't they have them do something else besides color in fourth grade?

Its a public school and I'm seriously looking into something else. I'm investigating nearby charter schools along with private schools. I think it would be best to transfer my kids starting next semester so it would be a smoother transition. Its certainly not all bad where they're at right now, but I would like to see something better for the long run. I do plan to ask how the children spend their days, what their lesson plans are like, etc., in detail, not just "language arts, math facts," etc. There was something on tv last night that I missed about public schools "dumbing down". Did anyone see it? I think it was 20/20. Perhaps I could find a transcript of the show.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I guess I felt like it was a homework assignment for me, too. The first week of school I received a ton of papers, forms to fill out, etc. I had to buy another filing box just to keep track of the papers sent home! And they still keep coming! Communication is important, but its really over done at our school. Then its almost bedtime on a Sunday night, I open their backpacks and find an "assignment" for me! Alright, I really should have looked at those folders sooner. I do so now on Friday afternoon, to avoid unpleasant surprises on Sunday night. However, the school never gives homework over the weekend, so I thought I was ok there. Then I find I have homework!

We're more into a routine now. As soon as the kids come home from school, they're allowed 1/2 hour to unwind, however they wish--tv, games, phone calls to friends, etc., along with a healthy snack. They've been at it all day, they do need a break! During that 1/2 hour, I go through their folders and line up whatever they need to do. No, I'm not doing it for them, just getting them set up. Then its homework, usually while I'm gettind dinner on or whatever. I'm a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) so I have a fair amount of time after school to spend with them. what about children who's parents work? Sometimes the first chance they have to look at those folders is 8-9 pm or later, by the time they pick up their kids, etc. Most after-school care programs that I'm aware of encourage children to do their homework there, but that doesn't give the parent any time for their assignments. Honestly, I just felt so pressured when I found that assignment! I felt I needed to give it some thought and care, not just slop through it. Also, I didn't want to disclose anything too personal. I considered just not doing it, but felt that would reflect even worse on dd and us.

I constantly hear about how teachers are so tired, over worked, underpaid. Well, they should realize they're not the only ones with time and money constraints (I have a whole other thread about requests for gifts, fundraisers, etc). I just wish teachers would realize that they're not the only ones with other constraints. Before I get flamed, let me say that I am very interested in my children's education and do make every effort to work with them. I sometimes feel I'm the teacher. I teach them the basics, like math facts, reading, spelling, sentence construction, etc. (all that is sent home as assignments!) While it seems to me the children spend so much of their time essentially "fooling around" while at school. It seems there's always some sort of party, field trip, artsy fartsy project, etc. Then the basic, core subjects are packed off as "homework". When both the kids and me are tired after a long day and not at our best, I get to do the teaching while they do the "fun fun" all day at school. The I'm expected to do assignments--like write an autobiography! Oh, well.....like I tell my kids, just suck it up and go on!

Your post addresses several of the reasons our family will not utilize the public schools. I understand that you might come to a different conclusion with the same set of facts, but the big red flag for me would be the feeling that you are teaching them everything at home, anyway. Perhaps they ARE just fooling around with nonsense at school!

 

[vhoffman]

Tinkerbelmama,

What do you do? Home school, private school, charter? I really need to look into some alternatives, what we're getting for education just isn't satisfying me!

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

She can do her job without knowing every last detail about our personal lives.

Sure he/she can. But bear in mind here, an accountant can do his/her job without a calculator but it is guaranteed to be loads harder. A construction worker doesn't need a jackhammer, he can break the ground with a regular hammer but it will take him/her a lot longer to get used to the groove of it and it will be much more strenuous (sp). A computer fixer can certainly fix a computer but he/she would save themselves heck of a lot of time if he/she knew how it functioned under differnent conditions. Don't judge so quickly. As a student studying education and coming from an entire family of educators, trust me, teachers have more important things to worry about than every last detail of your lives. I also noticed in a previous post of yours you pointed out that she had sent a letter to you about herself but didn't include more than her credentials (sp) and a few other things. If you don't want to give her your life story, give just as much as she did. In the long run, this is to help your child. I know from experiance that children who feel that they know their teacher are much more likely to focus and pay attention in class. If they know something about them and they know something about you, you feel like you have established connections which are vital for learning. Again, she can do her job well without knowing your child, but don't you want it to be excellent?

 

[karinbelle]

Guess what. If a student has a violent conviction as a juvenile, they DO NOT tell the teacher. If they harm a teacher - future teachers are NOT notified. It IS NOT in the file and we cannot find out. We have no clue. We are expected to try to deal with the situation without any background. I am a low-key, understanding person and have had several of these kids in class. The best way to deal with them is to tone down the situation as best you can (speak softly - redirect attention) and get help ASAP (if your support team - front office/principals - will answer the phone before 15 rings).

The juvenile offender has all the rights. In my state, juvenile records are sealed.

 

[vhoffman]

knowing nit-picky details about a child to form an unfounded judgment are, in my opinion, inappropriate. However, knowing about a child's criminal behavior, past juvenile offenses, etc., are, in my opinion, the teacher's right to know, just for her own safety. You can't be expected to wing it with heaven knows what in your class.

The double standard is simply amazing to me. In the past we've had some issues with misinformation being told about my children and misconceptions being concluded from it, always, of course, negative. Last year I had to take dd out of school one day/week for vision therapy (she had a muscle imbalance). Of course, the school officials knew why I was taking her out. However, seems the office ladies got the wrong impression--they'd say "Oh, you're here to get dd for her therapy". Well, I never bothered to set them straight. Then one day dd wanted to play with another child and her mother called me to ask how well supervised the play would be, because she understood that dd had "mental problems". When I asked her where she got that idea she said "its well-known that she's been seeing a psychiatrist for almost a year". Waaaat???????? Apparently it was gossip that had spread that I was taking dd to some sort of mental health therapy, not eye therapy. DD has NEVER had any problems at school and is very well-behaved. However, gossip has put her in another category, and I'm afraid it will never be changed in people's minds. We're seriously considering transferring to another school, just to get a fresh start. BTW, that wasn't the only issue, there's been many more misconceptions about both my kids at school. Seems once a child becomes the object of gossip it just snowballs. That's why I try so hard to protect our privacy, but the only real way I can is to start with another school.

 

[Fainfamily5]

Wow my little joke about the ridiculous assignments must have hit close to home..........

Sorry but it did not hit home with me, I agree, I think it's pretty lame to assign parents homework. But I am also not the kind of teacher who ask parents or students for personal info. I just hate the way this thread is turning out. Just like in every workplace their are some great workers , some good workers, some ok workers and some people who should not be allowed to come back. It is the same with teachers. Why is this profession judged so quickly. If you have a bad experience in the doctor's office, you don't decide to play doctor on yourself. So Please don't judge all teachers or the educational system by a few bad experiences. Try talking to your child's teacher, he or she maybe surprised that the assignment offended you or you may be surprised that it makes sense when you find out why they gave the assignment. Try a different school. See if it is any better. I think as with any relationship that is important we need to have better communication between parents and teachers. I am a National Board Certified Teacher. THis is the highest credential a teacher in my state can obtain. I worked long and hard years on this for 2 years. But I am not perfect and I do not attempt to be, my students and parents are not perfect either. I think we need to remember that when we are working with each other. I also feel if we can keep the lines of communication open then only the best will come of it and hopefully your child will learn something from me as I know I will learn something from them.

 

[Ask"WhyNot?"]

knowing nit-picky details about a child to form an unfounded judgment are, in my opinion, inappropriate. However, knowing about a child's criminal behavior, past juvenile offenses, etc., are, in my opinion, the teacher's right to know, just for her own safety. You can't be expected to wing it with heaven knows what in your class.

The double standard is simply amazing to me. In the past we've had some issues with misinformation being told about my children and misconceptions being concluded from it, always, of course, negative. Last year I had to take dd out of school one day/week for vision therapy (she had a muscle imbalance). Of course, the school officials knew why I was taking her out. However, seems the office ladies got the wrong impression--they'd say "Oh, you're here to get dd for her therapy". Well, I never bothered to set them straight. Then one day dd wanted to play with another child and her mother called me to ask how well supervised the play would be, because she understood that dd had "mental problems". When I asked her where she got that idea she said "its well-known that she's been seeing a psychiatrist for almost a year". Waaaat???????? Apparently it was gossip that had spread that I was taking dd to some sort of mental health therapy, not eye therapy. DD has NEVER had any problems at school and is very well-behaved. However, gossip has put her in another category, and I'm afraid it will never be changed in people's minds. We're seriously considering transferring to another school, just to get a fresh start. BTW, that wasn't the only issue, there's been many more misconceptions about both my kids at school. Seems once a child becomes the object of gossip it just snowballs. That's why I try so hard to protect our privacy, but the only real way I can is to start with another school.

Wouldn't that assignment actually put an end to those types of "misunderstandings" as they will be in black & white? The teacher could be bypassing gossip and the child's eye view in order to know what the real story is.

With some of the problems we had in school, I'd LOVE for an assignment to come home like that. A caring teacher. One who looks at everything in the family to do what is best for each student and class. How horrilble for you.

There is another thread on here about someone having such a disinterested teacher and your upset for having an interested teacher. Is there no winning for teachers?

 

[Samantha/NC]

If I were you I would pull my kids out of that school NOW!! Not only are they not teaching your children, but now they are the object of gossip, by the whole office staff and parents. WOW, the school must truely be against you!
From your post, I just do not think that your family will ever be successful in this school.

FainFamily5---congrats on that NBCT--big honor