Has Anyone had the Teacher ask for a Letter of Introduction from the Parents?

[Melissa]

No teacher has asked for this but I wouldn't mind if they did. I think they seem like they want to know the child not judge you. If I had to do one I'd be sure to put how we have crazy schedules and so going to WDW during the school year was an important family priority. I like to get that issue out right up front!

 

[princesspiglet]

My daughter just started a new private preschool and her teacher asked for the same thing. I thought it was great! I gave her details of our lives, how long we have been married, where we have traveled and also details about DD's personality. I was very happy to answer this because it gives me a sense of community and family in her school. I think it's wonderful that the teacher actually wants to get to know my DD and her parents on a personal level and not just as the two people she sees at 4:00 picking up her pupil.

IMHO, I think the OP is being too defensive.

 

[vhoffman]

I still feel that being asked for an autobiography from the parents is an invasion of privacy. If the teacher doesn't have time to read and make judgments from it, why did she bother to ask for it? I still feel that a parent's life story shouldn't be part of a child's file. Why don't we have her autobiography? Oh, yes, we did get an introduction letter from the teacher, basically talkiing about her teaching career, education, etc., but that's hardly an autobiography! We don't know if the teacher came from a troubled childhood, had a series of divorces, illnesses, deaths in her family, troubled marriage, financial troubles, why should we? I just think its a phishing tactic. I gave general information only, I don't have to disclose anything I don't care to. There's really no deep, dark secrets in our lives, but if there were, its certainly none of her business. And just what happens to those letters? Who has access to them? In our school, volunteers help put weekly folders together. Who knows who's looking at those letters? I just think the whole thing was highly inappropriate. Teachers are judgmental, why give them anything to use against my kid? She can do her job without knowing every last detail about our personal lives. Just my opinion..................

 

[luckymommy]

I still feel that being asked for an autobiography from the parents is an invasion of privacy. If the teacher doesn't have time to read and make judgments from it, why did she bother to ask for it? I still feel that a parent's life story shouldn't be part of a child's file. Why don't we have her autobiography? Oh, yes, we did get an introduction letter from the teacher, basically talkiing about her teaching career, education, etc., but that's hardly an autobiography! We don't know if the teacher came from a troubled childhood, had a series of divorces, illnesses, deaths in her family, troubled marriage, financial troubles, why should we? I just think its a phishing tactic. I gave general information only, I don't have to disclose anything I don't care to. There's really no deep, dark secrets in our lives, but if there were, its certainly none of her business. And just what happens to those letters? Who has access to them? In our school, volunteers help put weekly folders together. Who knows who's looking at those letters? I just think the whole thing was highly inappropriate. Teachers are judgmental, why give them anything to use against my kid? She can do her job without knowing every last detail about our personal lives. Just my opinion..................

OK....obviously you have a very bad opinion of teachers. Im sorry but by generalizing that "teachers are judgemental" you are putting me in that same category...and Im sorry I dont know you. If you have that much of an issue with the assignment just talk to the teacher...maybe this year you got a good one...that wont judge you for not doing it.

 

[Lizzy2]

I personally think this is a great idea for a get to know you situation but I can't understand why the request for an "autobiography" made you feel like you had to give out private information. Did she ask pointed questions about your bank account and sex life? Or did she just want to know a little more about your child's home life which believe me makes a huge difference in how they behave and learn at school.

 

[Nanu57v]

. Teachers are judgmental, why give them anything to use against my kid?

I agree, it does sound like you are a little biased against teachers. She's probably just trying to do the best job she can with her students. It's not like she's a 100,000 a year corporate exec whose trying to figure out how to make a sale. Why don't you become a teacher and see what its like? Not sure what your degrees are in, but generally any degree can be made into a certification with just a semester of classes and a semester of student teaching. Its pretty simple. I've got two B.A.s and three certifications. Not working as a teacher though. Couldn't quite get the whole classroom discipline down. Couldn't seem to understand the students enough.

 

[KelsiesMommy]

As a former teacher, I've done something similar to this. As a teacher, the more I know about the family, the better I can help the child succeed. Also, I always invested in not just the child but the families. I loved getting to know each family and parent set as best as I could. It made a better bond between me and the families. I doubt this teacher has anything But the best of intentions and I'd be thankful that your dd has such a caring teacher who want to know all about her and her family.

(P.S. Hi Kristina!!)

 

[noahynav]

I have to defend the OP a little bit here. I come from a very small town where all the teachers were VERY gossipy. I know for a fact that they stood around at recess (and I am sure in the teachers lounge at well) and talked about students, their parents, siblings they had previously had as students, etc. I remember overhearing the gossip, so I know for a fact it went on. Also, my FIL was the high school principal, and I can assure you that he would say that it happened.
Teachers where I come from play favorites, and are very judgemental. Not all, but most.
Anyway, if I was asked for an autobiography, I too would feel that it was intrusive, but only because I know how nosey people are around here. Everybody knows everybody and anything you say will be repeated.

 

[Sandi]

We haven't received this kind of request from DD11's teacher, but we talk with her every day and this is DD's 3rd year in her class (Montessori - 3 years with same teacher for pre-school through 6th grade). However, we did receive a request for an introductory letter from DD's sleep away summer camp in June. I was happy to oblige because it gave us an opportunity to explain that my grandfather (DD's great-grandfather) had recently passed away and some other things that might cause her angst. I appreciate that teachers and others go the extra mile to get to know a child, her parents and her environment.

The Ron Clark Story sure showed a teacher who wanted to KNOW his students. Kids who are dropped off by nannies, and those in between all deserve to have teachers who know what the challenges are for their students.

 

[okeydokey]

My son's Kindergarten teacher sent home a questionairre about my son. She wanted to know what I considered to be his strengths and weaknesses, if he had any fears, what my hopes were for his first year of school. I thought it was a fabulous idea.

 

[Cinderella2004]

Coming from a parent whose daughter has had less than a great experience in school so far, I would LOVE if her teacher this year asked for that. I just feel that it would help them to better understand your child, not judge us as parents, or them as children.

If there are details you do not want the teacher to know, of course leave them out! But remember, what you've done, where you've been has shaped your childs life.

 

[Longsx3]

I just think the whole thing was highly inappropriate. Teachers are judgmental, why give them anything to use against my kid? She can do her job without knowing every last detail about our personal lives. Just my opinion..................

Wow! When I started this thread I found it very interesting because I had just been contemplating sending a note with DD(10) tommorrow for her new teacher. DD will be starting 5th grade and I thought it might be nice to say thanks for being a teacher and that we are looking forward to a great year. While considering the note I was wondering how brief or indepth it should be, I really do think that the more a teacher knows about DD the better she will be able to teach her. While I guess this could be giving a teacher ammunition to use against her or us, I think in many ways a teacher can use the information to better understand my DD. Some examples for us are: that my DH was deployed for most of last year or that her Grandpa died a few years ago but at times can still be very fresh for her or that DD has had several sets of ear tubes and currently has no problems but if she notices a change let me know.

IMO you can know my deepest darkest secret if it means DD stands a chance of getting a better education!

 

[Longsx3]

BTW I have decided to save the note until Friday.

 

[chrissybear]

We have been asked for a letter about our kids every year. Our oldest DD is going into 5th grade this year. I have never had a problem with it. I believe the more the teachers knows about the children, the better they will be able to understand the kids and provide the best possible learning experience for all.

 

[rt2dz]

I still feel that being asked for an autobiography from the parents is an invasion of privacy. If the teacher doesn't have time to read and make judgments from it, why did she bother to ask for it? I still feel that a parent's life story shouldn't be part of a child's file. Why don't we have her autobiography? Oh, yes, we did get an introduction letter from the teacher, basically talkiing about her teaching career, education, etc., but that's hardly an autobiography! We don't know if the teacher came from a troubled childhood, had a series of divorces, illnesses, deaths in her family, troubled marriage, financial troubles, why should we? I just think its a phishing tactic. I gave general information only, I don't have to disclose anything I don't care to. There's really no deep, dark secrets in our lives, but if there were, its certainly none of her business. And just what happens to those letters? Who has access to them? In our school, volunteers help put weekly folders together. Who knows who's looking at those letters? I just think the whole thing was highly inappropriate. Teachers are judgmental, why give them anything to use against my kid? She can do her job without knowing every last detail about our personal lives. Just my opinion..................

Normally, I don't notice who posts what, but lately, you're posts have been standing out to me a little. I know you and your family are going through some rough times right now--and evidently in the past too--and maybe that is making you (understandably) a little over sensative?

You are going to feel however you are going to feel, and there is nothing wrong with that. And you shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. But maybe you could realize that the request wasn't made with malice?

 

[MissD]

Normally, I don't notice who posts what, but lately, you're posts have been standing out to me a little. I know you and your family are going through some rough times right now--and evidently in the past too--and maybe that is making you (understandably) a little over sensative?

You are going to feel however you are going to feel, and there is nothing wrong with that. And you shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. But maybe you could realize that the request wasn't made with malice?

I was thinking about this myself, but couldn't figure out how to say what I wanted to say.

To the OP,
Your family is working through some tough times right now. Even when we as parents try to keep the 'stressful stuff' away from our kids, they feel it. They may be afraid to express their feelings to you for fear of adding to your load. You may think they are handling everything like troopers and, in reality, they're nervous, scared and uncertain, too.


I think having a teacher understand what is going on at home, etc. will be a blessing to your child. For the next 175+ days, that teacher will probably spend at least as many(if not more) waking hours with your child as you will.
As you don't want the teachers to judge you, please do not judge them either. They all have home lives too-they know that things happen, and that what happens at home affects their day at school.

Teachers are not the enemy-they are your teammates in your child's education, and sharing information will be key to your child's success this year.

In the meantime, my prayers have been with you, and still are.

 

[tripplanner]

I experienced this many years ago. I was the kid and my parents got the request. It was a little more in depth and asked for job title/salary details. My parents were both "put off" by the request. At the time there were no "traumas" in the closest. My parents were married, dad had a good job, siblings were doing well in school, no deaths in the family, etc.. I remember my parents discussing why they felt this crossed the teacher boundary. They responded with a general "high level" biography and stated that their income was "enough". When we turned these biographies in to our elementary teacher, I can remember the kids asking each other how much their parents earned. I also remember a boy in particular who was in foster care, being quite embarrased because his foster parents wouldn't fill it out. I never got the feeling that this exercise "enriched the school year", instead I found out how much some of my friends parents made and discovered that a classmate was in foster care. Two things that were really none of my business as a child.

Now that I am grown and have kids in school, I've never experienced such a request. I have received a nice memo this year from ds's teacher stating that it would be nice if parents would share our kid's interests, strengths, and weaknesses in an effort to help direct the kids toward certain books they may enjoy and to allow her to focus some writing activities in areas of their interests. I am soo happy with this teacher and am pleased that what she has asked us to share is "child specific" and for a "purpose".

 

[vhoffman]

Just wanted to clarifly one point, since this thread seems to be going slightly of course. The teacher asked four autobiographies about me and dh, ie--our life story. I'm not talking about the general information that schools usually ask about the kid, like their hobbies, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Also, like I stated in my original post, I have two children in the same school, only my son's teacher asked for the autobiography. In other words, it was this particular teacher, not a school thing.

While I don't mind giving some general information about my child, I really feel my life story and dh's are way too much information. I can see it being misapplied. Also, like some others have pointed out here, there is a privacy issue. Teachers aren't beyond gossip, and other kids can find out that information and use it against the other kids, as well. Oh, yes, I know, its not supposed to be used that way. But it can. Last year they were doing a section on maps, geography, etc. They asked each child where they were born, where their parents and grandparents were from. Then they posted a huge map of the world in the main hallway (one for each class) with a picture of each child and a line indicating what country they were from. My children are adopted from Poland. While that's no big secret, it also shouldn't be "front page news". During social studies they learned that you can't be president of the US if you weren't born in this country. A group of girls in my daughter's class taunted my dd for weeks that she could never be President. My ds has reading issues, and dyslexia. He actually had other kids aske him if he could read Polish, since he has trouble reading English (no, he never knew Polish, he was 3 months old when we adopted him!). Its this type of personal information that doesn't need to be plastered all over the walls of the school for anyone to make their own judgments and run with.

I really think a teacher can teach without knowing all our business, and, not guarding our privacy. I'm amazed to see that other parents have actually been asked their salary! That's no one's business! I like the answer "our salary is good enough". Like I said, I sent in a short and sweet letter giving just basic information without spilling our guts to anyone who could have access to our folders. I just think its wanting way too much information!

 

[vhoffman]

Also, I don't think the request was "made with malice". I just think that too much information, in the wrong hands, could be misapplied.

 

[MissD]

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my DS has bipolar disorder. We've actually had a hard time with some school people who believe sharing that information is TMI. To me, it is of the utmost importance that his teachers and, in time, other students are aware. It isn't an easy sbject to speak about, but the teachers will know what diffuses a situation and what won't work. My son's classmates are learning tolerance. Sometimes sharing isn't easy, but it's necessary-especially for us.

I believe that the only way we can stop the stigma of certain realities and avoid hurtful comments--as in your children and their birthplace-- is to share information. I agree that asking for financial info is absurd, but some of the other questions may actually have real value to the teacher that we as parents cannot see.

I wonder if this teacher had tried a specific question format in other years, and had trouble with responses to that. Maybe the teacher believed this way was less intrusive, since parents will just share what you they feel comfortable with.

Could be it's a golden opportunity for you to work with the school on a 'getting-to-know-you' exercise that everyone will feel good about and that will truly benefit the children