Has anyone else been in this situation?

[mjkacmom]

Honestly, I'd encourage it! In another year or so, they will be texting, and have NO CLUE on how to have a phone conversation. And I wish I could put a , but it's more like . I make ds12 answer our home phone now, and encourage dd9 to call friends (she has friends who always text her from their parents' phones - she has a cellphone, but she only takes it to dance, which is many hours a week).

 

[threecrazykids]

We went through that last summer with my 8 yr old son. A little girl was constantly (and I do mean constantly!) calling him. She'd call him and then want to play him a song on her piano! I'd walk by 20 minutes later and he'd just be sitting there holding the phone, not saying anything. I'd ask if she was still on the phone, and he'd say "yes, she's drawing me a picture."

Anyway, I figured when he got tired of it, he'd handle it. So I let him choose to answer the phone or not (we have caller id), and to just tell her when he had to go. I didn't really care if he spent time with her on the phone or not. It lasted for a couple months, then they were in different classes when school started back and I heard through the grapevine that she was stalking another little boy.

Maybe he could try telling them that he only wants to talk once a day and is going to choose the girl who DOESN'T bug him to death with phone calls to be his girlfriend when school starts back.

And not to hijack your thread, but what is up with all these girls calling boys??? Don't they know that boys want what they can't have? Maybe that's the conversation you should have with these girls the next time they call.

This is EXACTLY what they do! I'll walk by and say "is she talking"? He'll either roll his eyes and give the "yap yap" motion with his hand or say something along the same lines "she's playing a song for me from a CD".

It does crack me up sometimes, but at other times I just feel bad for him!

 

[Wishing on a star]

This is EXACTLY what they do! I'll walk by and say "is she talking"? He'll either roll his eyes and give the "yap yap" motion with his hand

WOW, why do people give these aggressive stalkers that much control over them....

Wouldn't be happening at my house, on my phone line... And, cell phone???? at that age, ummmm yeah right!!!!! "First thing in the morning, son..."

 

[onelilspark]

These girls definitely need "The Rules." My Mom forbid me to call a boy all through HS...unless I was returning a call.

 

[threecrazykids]

WOW, why do people give these aggressive stalkers that much control over them....

Wouldn't be happening at my house, on my phone line... And, cell phone???? at that age, ummmm yeah right!!!!! "First thing in the morning, son..."

I know...that's why I think I just need to be the "mean mom" and just tell them to stop calling. I've tried to be compromising at first, but it's getting worse. And hell no, I'm not getting him a cell phone.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I have a boy and a girl 12 1/2. We don't get these types of calls, and I've already squashed the "dating" thing (not for lack of requests). I just don't see a need to "date" at this age and saw that it helped my DD, especially, have an "out" when boys asked her to date them ("My mom says no" One boy got quite pushy to the extent of harrassment at school - not something she needs to be dealing with at this age). I did buy them phones with texting ability this summer but their texts with friends are appropriate (I check!). They did (both) receive an inappropriate text but I let the phone company know the # and what it said and that was the end of that.

 

[DMRick]

I don't think that is a bad thing at all. Our local middle school had two pregnant 12 year olds when school ended in June..and their 'boyfriends' were in the same grade..6th. By the way, they found out they were pregnant via the school nurse and the preg test kits she has on hand.
I don't care what they call it, 10 and 11 and even 12 is just to young to date.

I have a boy and a girl 12 1/2. We don't get these types of calls, and I've already squashed the "dating" thing (not for lack of requests). I just don't see a need to "date" at this age and saw that it helped my DD, especially, have an "out" when boys asked her to date them ("My mom says no" One boy got quite pushy to the extent of harrassment at school - not something she needs to be dealing with at this age). I did buy them phones with texting ability this summer but their texts with friends are appropriate (I check!). They did (both) receive an inappropriate text but I let the phone company know the # and what it said and that was the end of that.

 

[MichelleVW]

I would just have my kid answer the phone. When friends called I my dd would talk to them.

Same here...if they didn't want to talk, then they could just tell the person that.

 

[threecrazykids]

I don't think that is a bad thing at all. Our local middle school had two pregnant 12 year olds when school ended in June..and their 'boyfriends' were in the same grade..6th. By the way, they found out they were pregnant via the school nurse and the preg test kits she has on hand.
I don't care what they call it, 10 and 11 and even 12 is just to young to date.

OH DEAR LORD!

 

[danalee]

I would have been really ticked at the girls father! If your DS was doing this to his little girl, I doubt he would be so blah, blah about it!!

I would be mean mom and do whatever it takes to make it stop, that would drive me nuts

 

[threecrazykids]

I would have been really ticked at the girls father! If your DS was doing this to his little girl, I doubt he would be so blah, blah about it!!

I would be mean mom and do whatever it takes to make it stop, that would drive me nuts

This is exactly what DH said to me. He said "you can bet if DS was calling HIS house 15-20 times a day he would have a different view on this whole scenario". And I agree completely.

I'm really hoping that last night maybe put a damper on it, as I'm sure the girls are going to talk to the other relentless caller and let them know what happened and that they shouldn't call anymore.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Good your you OP! With any luck the girls will be properly humiliated and leave your son alone. If they don't back off you probably need to have a talk with your boy about the different 'sorts' of men and women in the world, how to spot them and why they should be avoided. I've already had this conversation with my kids. Treat everyone with respect but avoid troubled people with no self esteem.

To call once or twice is sweet. To elevate it to the point where stalking is involved and parents need to step in means trouble in my book. The fact the father dismissed you speaks volumes about how these kids are being raised.

When we were driving home from Dorney 2 weeks ago I got an earful from my DS12, DD11 & their friends. Apparently a few of my DS's other friend's are already kissing their 12 year old girlfriends. I warned everyone in the car about spreading rumors when they told me they weren't rumors, that they KNEW it was true because they watched these kids make out during the school dances. Both my DH and I were completely disgusted and we had a talk that night about respect, age appropriate behavior and the other stuff they've heard before but probably needed repeating.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well we have a similar situation but not the same. In our case the two girls stop by the house--no phone calls. DS has never had any kind of relationship other than very casual neighborhood playing (after they followed him home form a bike ride) with them. At first he was okay playing in the yard with them. Once we had just baked cookies so shared. A few times in winter they came in to play (common here) and once--because they asked if they could stay they stayed for dinner.
Now they go on jags where for a week or two they show up all the time. They ring the bell repeatedly, the come into the yard (fenced but the fence is only waist high and the gate does not lock) and peer through the windows and the back (glass) door. Their persistence combined with their wildness and the fact that they they did say the "love" him drives DS11 nutty.
We have worked with him to deal with it but are having HIM talk to them (we practice ahead of time things he can say to be firm but polite). Mostly he jsut says "I'm sorry I don't want to play TODAY ("right now" seemed to mean to them that he might want to if they came back in 5 minutes). There were days when he had to repeat that literally 15-20 times (except for repeats he added, "I already told you . . ."). We also told him it is fine to play when he wants to but to set the limit of only outside or also inside and hat he can say he only has a half hour or an hour or whatever amount of time he is up to. After a couple of weeks of him standing firm and the turn downs coming from HIM they seem to have tapered off. They have smiled and waved when we are out and invited him to join in playing but have quit ringing the bell more than 2-3 times a week

 

[threecrazykids]

Well we have a similar situation but not the same. In our case the two girls stop by the house--no phone calls. DS has never had any kind of relationship other than very casual neighborhood playing (after they followed him home form a bike ride) with them. At first he was okay playing in the yard with them. Once we had just baked cookies so shared. A few times in winter they came in to play (common here) and once--because they asked if they could stay they stayed for dinner.
Now they go on jags where for a week or two they show up all the time. They ring the bell repeatedly, the come into the yard (fenced but the fence is only waist high and the gate does not lock) and peer through the windows and the back (glass) door. Their persistence combined with their wildness and the fact that they they did say the "love" him drives DS11 nutty.
We have worked with him to deal with it but are having HIM talk to them (we practice ahead of time things he can say to be firm but polite). Mostly he jsut says "I'm sorry I don't want to play TODAY ("right now" seemed to mean to them that he might want to if they came back in 5 minutes). There were days when he had to repeat that literally 15-20 times (except for repeats he added, "I already told you . . ."). We also told him it is fine to play when he wants to but to set the limit of only outside or also inside and hat he can say he only has a half hour or an hour or whatever amount of time he is up to. After a couple of weeks of him standing firm and the turn downs coming from HIM they seem to have tapered off. They have smiled and waved when we are out and invited him to join in playing but have quit ringing the bell more than 2-3 times a week

UGH...don't even get me started on THIS topic...our neighbor kids do this all the time.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I would talk to the parents for sure. And the dad you talked to didn't seem to want to do anything so I would block the numbers. It is easy to blame the other girls who were sleeping over and that may be the case but who knows. I bet it was all of them.
So 10 or 15 calling and hanging up is just rude no matter how old your son is.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don't think that is a bad thing at all. Our local middle school had two pregnant 12 year olds when school ended in June..and their 'boyfriends' were in the same grade..6th. By the way, they found out they were pregnant via the school nurse and the preg test kits she has on hand.
I don't care what they call it, 10 and 11 and even 12 is just to young to date.

Oh. My. God. WTH???

 

[kirstenb1]

taking the girlfriend/boyfriend thing out of the equation, I think talking to friends once a day is reasonable. I understand you want to put a stop to the excessive calling, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to alienate my son from his peers.

I'd just decide how many times per week is fair, and have him tell the girls that. If they call in excess of that, then everyone knows the rules, and it should be no surprise when he says he can't talk to them, and hangs up.