Has anyone else been in this situation?

[threecrazykids]

I have a DS who is 10. He is just starting to get to the age of showing "interest" in girls. You know, the "I'm dating Carly" (not her real name)phase. To which I kind of laugh because he's not "dating" anyone. They only had seen each other at school and we surely aren't going to allow him to go on "dates".

He's "broken up with" and "gotten back together" with this "Carly" like 3 times throughout the last year of school. And there is another girl (we'll call her Haleigh) who he "dated" as well sometime last year.
I really didn't think too much about it during the school year...just kind of brushed it off as an elementary puppy love thing at which they would quickly grow out of.

Anyway, these 2 girls are absolutely relentless. They call our house literally 15-20 times A DAY. One will call, then the next. If my son doesn't answer, they hang up. We have caller ID so we know these numbers as soon as they pop up. They try to be all sneaky and call from one of their parents cell phones, or call from a friends house etc.

I have allowed him to talk to them maybe 2-3 times over the summer to allow them to "catch up" on how their summers are going etc. which I think is more than fair. Anyway, yesterday they were calling and calling and I kindly told them "DS is not going to be able to talk...it's just about a week before school starts so why don't you plan on catching up with him then." They thanked me and said "ok". Next thing I know about 2 hours later she's calling back from a third friends house. They called twice and hung up when my husband answered.

He called back the number and said "may I please speak to your parents please?" She hung up. He called back and said "I know it's either Haleigh or Carly, we have caller id so please just put your parents on or I will continue to call back until one of them answers". She finally put her dad on the phone. My husband proceeds to tell them the situation of how they call and hang up literally 15 times a day and asked if he could please ensure they don't call back...that she can talk to DS when school starts. He said that his DD was not one of the 2 who are calling, but one of these girls is spending the night as his DD house. My DH said "thank you, next time I will just have to address it with her parents when she calls from home".
This guy goes "I guess if you really think it's that big of a deal then yeah, I guess you could talk to them" and hung up.

Are we just being mean? I personally don't think so. These kids are 10!
We had gone to my DS baseball party on Friday and from the sounds of it these 2 girls call ALL of these boys all day! All of us Mom's were talking about it and how it's been relentless all summer long.

So do I just block their numbers so they can't call? Or do I speak with the parents? I really don't want to be "the mean mom" but I think we've been MORE than fair about letting him talk to them.

On top of it all...these 2 girls friend requested ME on Facebook because they wanted to see pics of DS! Sheesh, I feel like I have a couple little stalkers on my hands.

So what would you do? Or am I just being an old bag who needs to just let it be and let them talk?

 

[Christine]

Well, you see where calling the parents gets you. It's no wonder some of these kids have so many issues when parents won't take responsibility for their horrible manners.

At this point, I would block their numbers if you have that capability and I would ignore them on Facebook.

 

[ajk912]

Wow, no kidding? I have a 10 year old going to 6th grade next month, and he and his friends don't do that yet. Must be a regional thing. I imagine by the later months of sixth grade we'll start hearing about it a bit though!

 

[threecrazykids]

Wow, no kidding? I have a 10 year old going to 6th grade next month, and he and his friends don't do that yet. Must be a regional thing. I imagine by the later months of sixth grade we'll start hearing about it a bit though!

Thank you! That's what I thought too! He's not really showing much interest in these girls when he talks to them. He just answers what questions they ask and then says "I gotta go" after about 5 mins. Then he's like "I don't know why they call me...we don't have anything to talk about!" LOL

 

[threecrazykids]

Well, you see where calling the parents gets you. It's no wonder some of these kids have so many issues when parents won't take responsibility for their horrible manners.

At this point, I would block their numbers if you have that capability and I would ignore them on Facebook.

Oh yes, I ignored them on FB. That wasn't even a second thought.

 

[moburg]

15-20 calls a day from them, multiple hang ups, is most definitely excessive.

But I also think restricting them to 2 or 3 calls over the summer is a little excessive in the other direction. I don't think I would institute a call limit. I would not label a call a day as excessive, certainly not a couple of calls a week.

If you get the same response from the girls parents as you did from the friends father, then I'd say the calls are done, numbers are blocked, or something like that. Otherwise, there can be a happy, common sense compromise.

 

[barkley]

i would go ahead and block their numbers since you've already asked them to stop and they have not. if they try using their parent's cell phone or someone else's to get around the block then at that point i would contact their parents and fill them in (or fill in the owner of the phone they were calling from-i would be majorly ticked if i found out one of my kid's friends was using my home phone to do this).

 

[dopeysgirl01]

I'd kill my dd if she acted like that! She's 9 and has had a "boyfriend" since last summer. I'm usually around when she calls and if I see her going for the phone again I ask to make sure she's not calling him again. Girls are very excitable at this young age and seem to be way more into the boys than the boys are to them. I try to teach my dd to be respectful and responsible. My 11 year old ds just thinks it's all wierd still!

 

[threecrazykids]

I'd kill my dd if she acted like that! She's 9 and has had a "boyfriend" since last summer. I'm usually around when she calls and if I see her going for the phone again I ask to make sure she's not calling him again. Girls are very excitable at this young age and seem to be way more into the boys than the boys are to them. I try to teach my dd to be respectful and responsible. My 11 year old ds just thinks it's all wierd still!

My DS 16 even thinks it's crazy. He doesn't have girls calling him as often as the DS10 does. Of course DS10 says he's jealous.

 

[pyrxtc]

I would call the other numbers they are calling from and talk to the parents. If they are calling and hanging up so much and the parents are not doing anything then I would file a complaint with the police and let them go talk to the parents of these young girls. maybe it will go through their head then. It is harassment.

I think restricting the call to 2 or 3 times over the summer is excessive. Is there a reason why your DS can't talk to them every day ? My DD talks to most of her friends daily. As long as he is not causing you to miss any calls or you not being able to make calls when you want, then what's the big deal. Soon enough, he will want to talk to these girls on the phone all day long. But, since he has no interest yet, I would do as I suggested above. If I were the girls parents, they would be restricted from phone use for a long time.

yes, they are only 10 but 10 yr olds can harass just as well. I have a 13 yr old DD who does not call a single boy and we have never had a boy call my house for her. I don't care if they do as long as they are polite and respectful.

 

[minkydog]

Yeah, that is a little weird and creepy. Since you have already requested the girls stop calling and they have not, I'd just block their numbers. You can *try* talking to their parents, but I doubt it's going to get you anywhere. They are obviously not monitoring their daughters' phone use and probably don't see it as a problem.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would just have my kid answer the phone. When friends called I my dd would talk to them.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, block the numbers.
I would have done that a long time ago.
IMHO, that is intrusive and almost harassment and bullying.

They will just continue to use other numbers to call from....
Call screening is your friend.
I would not even pick up my phone until I knew who was on the other line. If they go a few days and can't get thru your 'blockade'.... they may back off. If not, continued unwanted calling is harassment by phone (illegal), and I would be looking at stronger measures.

I totally agree with you, no way would I subject my 10 year old to have to deal with this.

My next thought, how is your son going to be able to deal with this at school.
Your son should be able to go to school, free of harassment and bullying.
I fear that you might have a bigger problem on your hands if this becomes a problem and begins to negatively affect your son and his education.

 

[threecrazykids]

I do understand people saying to let them talk every day. I wouldn't have an issue with it if it were other boys calling but I just can't imagine boys and girls having THAT much to talk about. At the beginning of the summer (right after school got out) I would let him talk to them every day. But the problem then became them calling 5-10 times every evening. So I then restricted it to one call an evening. The rest of the times they called I would tell them that they needed to call back tomorrow.

But my issue is that DS says he doesn't need/want to talk to them after the first time. He says that all they do is ask if he's going to be their boyfriend this coming school year. He says "I don't know...I haven't even thought about it...I've been playing baseball and football". Then the drama ensues. So he's basically said they've already covered what they've done this summer for vacations etc. so he really doesn't have anything to talk to them about. He said they ask him things like "what color of fingernail polish should I wear the first day of school". He couldn't care LESS. lmao.

So that is why I implemented the 2-3 calls for the rest of the summer. I have left it up to him (up until this point) to tell them that they can call back in a week or so (hoping they would just forget) but it really hasn't helped.

He's just been so busy playing outside during the evenings he really isn't even in the house most nights they call. It's DH and I that are fielding the calls. And if they called a couple of times with no answer and stopped that wouldn't bother me, it's the calling back time after time after time when no one answers. Then when we've had enough and DO answer, they hang up if it's not DS.

 

[Disney Doll]

Block the calls.
And if they call from another number, find out what that number is and block calls from it as well.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

My mother always taught us that "good" girls don't call boys, let the boys call you. He must be some catch.

I have three children and I have never had this problem, although now they all have cell phones so my home phone hardly ever rings. Maybe it's time to get him a cell phone. It's easy to block numbers on that too.

 

[threecrazykids]

My mother always taught us that "good" girls don't call boys, let the boys call you. He must be some catch.

I have three children and I have never had this problem, although now they all have cell phones so my home phone hardly ever rings. Maybe it's time to get him a cell phone. It's easy to block numbers on that too.

Hmmm...maybe this is why he keeps bugging us for a cell phone. Heck no I won't be doing that...can you even IMAGINE that bill?

 

[Pooh Crew]

We went through that last summer with my 8 yr old son. A little girl was constantly (and I do mean constantly!) calling him. She'd call him and then want to play him a song on her piano! I'd walk by 20 minutes later and he'd just be sitting there holding the phone, not saying anything. I'd ask if she was still on the phone, and he'd say "yes, she's drawing me a picture."

Anyway, I figured when he got tired of it, he'd handle it. So I let him choose to answer the phone or not (we have caller id), and to just tell her when he had to go. I didn't really care if he spent time with her on the phone or not. It lasted for a couple months, then they were in different classes when school started back and I heard through the grapevine that she was stalking another little boy.

Maybe he could try telling them that he only wants to talk once a day and is going to choose the girl who DOESN'T bug him to death with phone calls to be his girlfriend when school starts back.

And not to hijack your thread, but what is up with all these girls calling boys??? Don't they know that boys want what they can't have? Maybe that's the conversation you should have with these girls the next time they call.

 

[scrapbookworm]

The next time one calls, I would answer and tell them firmly "If you do not stop calling our house, I will be at your doorstep to have a word with your parents. Do not call us again." Then I would be knocking on the doors of all of their parents. I'm sure that if they are going to a friends house, that kid's parents would NOT appreciate such misuse of their phone.

or "If you do not stop calling our house, I will be calling the police. Do not call us again."

Being sweet and polite isn't cutting it. I think it's time to put a little healthy fear in those girls. kwim?

 

[threecrazykids]

The next time one calls, I would answer and tell them firmly "If you do not stop calling our house, I will be at your doorstep to have a word with your parents. Do not call us again." Then I would be knocking on the doors of all of their parents. I'm sure that if they are going to a friends house, that kid's parents would NOT appreciate such misuse of their phone.

or "If you do not stop calling our house, I will be calling the police. Do not call us again."

Being sweet and polite isn't cutting it. I think it's time to put a little healthy fear in those girls. kwim?

I know what you mean. I think they were freaked out last night when DH finally talked to the parent. And hopefully this little girl will tell the other little girl about what happened (they are very close friends) and this will at least put SOME of the calls to a halt.