Harnesses for Kids

[mariepapa]

I don't understand why this had to escalate into something so nasty. It is not an opinion about someone's parenting style that she wanted, only a product. Basically you either love the leash or vehemently hate it. But there is no need to say that you are abusing your children by using one!

 

[momtobrynncess]

To answer your question..your child is not a dog. They are your child.
I have more respect for my child than my dog.

Even if it means watching them closer, they needs to learn to stay close and just think a lease is a temporary restraint that teaches the child as soon as it's off it's time to bolt when given the chance.
Defeating the lesson that my children needs to learn.

As I've stated I won't use one, I think they are embarassing to the child.
and while I didn't say it before...I think it makes you look like a lazy parent.
Fair statement or not, that's the appearance your giving out to me.

Again, I'm not telling anyone not to or calling them bad parents or anything just giving my opinoin.

Just for a minute, try, in your mind to be a child under say 5 years of age. Think of how small you are, and how small you feel, compared to the tens of thousands of adults surrounding you. On Main Street, in DisneyWorld, as the crowds are pushing and shoving, all trying to get where they want to go. In the time it takes to blink your eyes, you could be swept away in that crowd.

I DO teach my child to stay right next to me, and to never wander off.
I DO keep my eyes on my child.
I DO hold her hand and let her ride in the stroller.
I am NOT lazy. I am a GOOD parent.
My child was not embarassed to wear it, she REQUESTED it.

It's an individual decision.

 

[kmk1180]

Just for a minute, try, in your mind to be a child under say 5 years of age. Think of how small you are, and how small you feel, compared to the tens of thousands of adults surrounding you. On Main Street, in DisneyWorld, as the crowds are pushing and shoving, all trying to get where they want to go. In the time it takes to blink your eyes, you could be swept away in that crowd.

1. I DO teach my child to stay right next to me, and to never wander off.
2. I DO keep my eyes on my child.
3. I DO hold her hand and let her ride in the stroller.
I am NOT lazy. I am a GOOD parent.
My child was not embarassed to wear it, she REQUESTED it.

It's an individual decision.

First my kids are 2 and 4 so I can totally relate.
But going to Disney is no different that going anywhere else, my child still
has to stay near by in a crowd of 10 people or 10,000.
Reasons 1-3 are why I feel we don't need those things (and my wife agrees)
And again I'm not saying your a bad parent or I'm better.
I just gave my thoughts on it which I'm as entitled to as you are to yours.
To quote the OP: "Can I get your feelings please?"
I agree with you and stated basically that, it's an idividual decision.
I guess I don't understand why you sound upset.

 

[BabyPiglet]

First my kids are 2 and 4 so I can totally relate.
But going to Disney is no different that going anywhere else, my child still
has to stay near by in a crowd of 10 people or 10,000.
Reasons 1-3 are why I feel we don't need those things (and my wife agrees)
And again I'm not saying your a bad parent or I'm better.
I just gave my thoughts on it which I'm as entitled to as you are to yours.
To quote the OP: "Can I get your feelings please?"
I agree with you and stated basically that, it's an idividual decision.
I guess I don't understand why you sound upset.

I think I'd get upset if I was accused of being a lazy parent, too.

Do you guys really go around voicing your opinions on other people's parenting abilities? It's very rude, and that's NOT what the OP was asking for.

 

[ShannonMB]

I guess I misunderstood. I though it was both about that harness, and using them or not in the parks. Sorry!!

You were right, IMO. The OP asked if anyone has used "them" in the parks, which, to me, means harnesses, not the Eddie Bauer Monkey Harness model #....

Anyway, I just showed a pic of the harness to my DD (8) and asked her what she thinks about them. She said, "Wait, are you thinking about one of those for ME?" I just wanted to know what she thinks about it for a toddler. She said, "Oh, I see those at the zoo and stuff all the time. I think they are a good idea because they help you keep better track of your child". Looks like my grandkids will be wearing them, so I better get used to it!

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I don't understand why this had to escalate into something so nasty. It is not an opinion about someone's parenting style that she wanted, only a product. Basically you either love the leash or vehemently hate it. But there is no need to say that you are abusing your children by using one!

I see you are new to the disboards.

 

[mariepapa]

I see you are new to the disboards.

Yes, I have only been reading them a couple of weeks but I do notice things heat up here a lot!

 

[palmtreelover08]

for the one you are looking at. I think if you are going to use a harnass of any type that comfort has to be one of the key factors.

All that being said, I used to "be a hater" of the harnesses.. and couldn't believe that people would walk their child like a dog. Then, when at Epcot, my friends 7 year old son wandered away, after following the wrong group of people off the Norway ride while she looked after her 3 year old. After she literally had a panic attack and I almost threw up..I found her son 3 countries away. It was the most heart wrenching thing that has ever happened to me.. and it wasn't even my child. He was probably missing for about 5 minutes total, but felt like 5 days. If you think your child may wander off, then by all means.. do it! Don't ever feel like I did that day! it was the worst!


For the record, I do not use one for my 6 year old, but she is a Mommy's girl and always holding my hand anyway. If I thought for one second she might wander away, or had to keep my eye on two young children at the same time by myself, I would possibly entertain the idea.

 

[ShannonMB]

for the one you are looking at. I think if you are going to use a harnass of any type that comfort has to be one of the key factors.

All that being said, I used to "be a hater" of the harnesses.. and couldn't believe that people would walk their child like a dog. Then, when at Epcot, my friends 7 year old son wandered away, after following the wrong group of people off the Norway ride while she looked after her 3 year old. After she literally had a panic attack and I almost threw up..I found her son 3 countries away. It was the most heart wrenching thing that has ever happened to me.. and it wasn't even my child. He was probably missing for about 5 minutes total, but felt like 5 days. If you think your child may wander off, then by all means.. do it! Don't ever feel like I did that day! it was the worst!

For the record, I do not use one for my 6 year old, but she is a Mommy's girl and always holding my hand anyway. If I thought for one second she might wander away, or had to keep my eye on two young children at the same time by myself, I would possibly entertain the idea.

I don't mean to single out your post, and I have posted that I would not use one but see where others find them useful. That would be for a toddler, though (or an older child with a developmental disability). I just can't see it on an older child.

 

[palmtreelover08]

My friends son does have ADHD, but I didn't want to put that as the "reason" he wandered off, as I think any child has the potential to follow the wrong pair of shorts off of a group event, like the movie in Norway. Could the ADHD have contributed ..sure..but again, I think it could happen to most any kid who is not attached at the hip. It the harness for me.. No. Could it be for some people.. I think so. just my two cents.. don't worry about "singling me out". No harm, no foul. We are all adults here with our own opinions, and it is very difficult to determine demeanor from a few setences.

Have a great night everyone.

 

[swisely]

No, you're not calling anyone a "bad parent", just a "lazy parent".

Really, I don't care if you think I'm lazy. I know better, and obviously you have no understanding of how my dd (and others) acted at age 1 and 2 to be able to judge. I just thought it was funny that you would say that.

Who doesn't have more respect for their children than their dogs?. That's why they get nicer beds to sleep in, better food, more attention, come to church and WDW with us, etc, etc, and get nice comfy harnesses that go around their shoulders and back, rather than a collar around the neck, and don't get tied up to a lamppost outside a store like you see with doggies. The only similarity is that they are both used to protect them by keeping them near you. I'm not one to let a little similarity between a product designed for a toddler and one designed for a dog stop me from using it, any more than I'd refuse to use a baby gate in my home, just because similar gates are also marketed to pet owners.

I've never met a child who was embarassed to be wearing a harness, either. You are projecting your own feelings onto other people's children, which really doesn't make any sense. Neither does your assumption that harness-wearers are going to bolt when it's off more than hand-holders will. Both are methods of restraint.

My sentiments exactly! Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[momtobrynncess]

First my kids are 2 and 4 so I can totally relate.
But going to Disney is no different that going anywhere else, my child still
has to stay near by in a crowd of 10 people or 10,000.
Reasons 1-3 are why I feel we don't need those things (and my wife agrees)
And again I'm not saying your a bad parent or I'm better.
I just gave my thoughts on it which I'm as entitled to as you are to yours.
To quote the OP: "Can I get your feelings please?"
I agree with you and stated basically that, it's an idividual decision.
I guess I don't understand why you sound upset.

The way I took your post was to say that in your opinion, seeing a parent with a harness on their child equals lazy parent. I believe your words were, "I think it makes you look like a lazy parent". So you are forming an opinion on my parenting skills, based on something my child is wearing. That's I guess, what caused me to get upset. My opinion of seeing a parent with a harness on their child is that they care about their children. And going to Disneyworld IS different than going to say, the mall. The mall near my house doesn't have 25,000 people all packed into one street. And on an individual basis, the use of the harness, for my child anyway, did not "defeat the lesson my child needed to learn". She still learned it.

 

[kelma]

I had to laugh as I read some of the responses. Ah, I remember the days of 1 on 1 parenting, when dh and I would each take a child's hand and be solely responsible for them. We never needed one of the leashes either (although I never judged anyone for using one).

Now that we have 4 kids and have moved on to zone defense, I love the harness. We almost always hold our son's hand while he has it on, but sometimes I like our 4 year old to hold onto the stroller so I can hold hands with my 10 or 8 year old and I LIKE being able to turn to our 10 or 8 year old and talk or answer a question without worrying that little runner has taken off.

On a serious note, you really think you can call me lazy? Honestly, and I mean this in the kindest way, it would really be good for all of you who were so critical to try and put yourself in someone else's shoes just for a bit. Try to imagine having more children than you have hands for, or having having a child who is naturally less inclined to sit or walk quietly or maybe a child who has emotional or developmental delays but still wants some independence. I think it might make you a little less judgmental and maybe a little more accepting of others who might have a different experience in this life than you

Peace,
Kelma
Mom to 2 princes and 2 princesses

 

[ShannonMB]

My friends son does have ADHD, but I didn't want to put that as the "reason" he wandered off, as I think any child has the potential to follow the wrong pair of shorts off of a group event, like the movie in Norway. Could the ADHD have contributed ..sure..but again, I think it could happen to most any kid who is not attached at the hip. It the harness for me.. No. Could it be for some people.. I think so. just my two cents.. don't worry about "singling me out". No harm, no foul. We are all adults here with our own opinions, and it is very difficult to determine demeanor from a few setences.

Have a great night everyone.

Just wanted to say you have a lovely attitude. We should all keep your last sentence in mind when discussing certain topics! And you have a great night, too!

BTW, sorry about that scary experience you had in Epcot. I can't even imagine how scary that was!

 

[momtobrynncess]

On a serious note, you really think you can call me lazy? Honestly, and I mean this in the kindest way, it would really be good for all of you who were so critical to try and put yourself in someone else's shoes just for a bit. Try to imagine having more children than you have hands for, or having having a child who is naturally less inclined to sit or walk quietly or maybe a child who has emotional or developmental delays but still wants some independence. I think it might make you a little less judgmental and maybe a little more accepting of others who might have a different experience in this life than you

Peace,
Kelma
Mom to 2 princes and 2 princesses

Well said.......

 

[Mrs.Toad]

It is protection for your child...just as a play pen is...when you have active crawlers or walkers you need a safe place to put them while doing things like using the restroom, etc.
Yes, some people abuse them but that's just them ~ they are made to HELP keep your child safe ~ same as a life vest. You wear them to HELP keep you from drowning...they don't replace supervision...you have to use these tools in a responsible way...some people do and some people don't.

It's not the tools that are bad, it's the way some people use them

Exactly! The same could go for a lot of things. Some people leave their babies in their exersaucers for hours on end, sit by the side of the pool reading a book because their 3yo is wearing a floatie, or leave baby in the stroller on a slope while mom walks 30 feet away to do something else (I don't trust any stroller brake that well!) It's not the product, it's the way it's being used.

 

[swisely]

After having read all the posts, I think the gist of the matter is this: kids are different. Not all babies want a pacifier. Some kids are more independent. Some are clingy. Some are darters. As a parent, you know what your child is capable of more than anyone else. My son, at a young age, was a darter. Period. I leashed him only when I went to places with massive amounts of people. Too many crazies in the world. If anyone chooses to think I am a lazy parent, so be it. Who cares? Chances are I will never see you again anyway. To some people, there is only black and white. To the rest of us, lots of gray.

 

[numberonenole]

Use a flat harness, not the monkey. Every time your child sits down in a ride or at a table you have to remove the monkey so they can sit all the way back. Then just try to put it back on!

 

[maxiesmom]

OP--The harness you posted a picture of looks way too hot for use in the Florida sunshine. I think you should try to find something less bulky to use.

 

[Mickeygolf]

After having read all the posts, I think the gist of the matter is this: kids are different. Not all babies want a pacifier. Some kids are more independent. Some are clingy. Some are darters. As a parent, you know what your child is capable of more than anyone else. My son, at a young age, was a darter. Period. I leashed him only when I went to places with massive amounts of people. Too many crazies in the world. If anyone chooses to think I am a lazy parent, so be it. Who cares? Chances are I will never see you again anyway. To some people, there is only black and white. To the rest of us, lots of gray.

I like the way you think!!! We never used them, but had other methods for keeping them close. With twins and an older brother, it was always crazy keeping active kids together. We experienced the moment of lost child once during Osborne Family Lights for about 3 to 4 minutes and it was heart wrenching. I would never judge others for using the harness...our kids are too important to us to worry about what other people think!!! But the lazy comments are really funny until you've walked in someone else's shoes