Harnesses for Kids

[kmk1180]

The way I took your post was to say that in your opinion, seeing a parent with a harness on their child equals lazy parent. I believe your words were, "I think it makes you look like a lazy parent". So you are forming an opinion on my parenting skills, based on something my child is wearing. That's I guess, what caused me to get upset. My opinion of seeing a parent with a harness on their child is that they care about their children. And going to Disneyworld IS different than going to say, the mall. The mall near my house doesn't have 25,000 people all packed into one street. And on an individual basis, the use of the harness, for my child anyway, did not "defeat the lesson my child needed to learn". She still learned it.

I was trying to say that's my first impression. I also said it may or may not be correct. Just anyone seeing or meeting someone has a first impression.
If you see kids running around screaming on rides, do you have an impression?
What about parents sitting eating while their kids fight at a resturant?
Do you have an impression of them?
Sure you do. Everybody makes first impressions about other people.
You'd be lying if you said you didn't. Some are good first impressions other are bad first impressions.
Doesn't mean they are right.
And that's my impression, again I admit it may not be the right one but I also willing to admit that's mine.

As for the mall...heck I feel safer at Disney than the mall.
I have yet to hear of a kid being kidnapped at Disney. But I know it's happened at malls. So no I don't feel the need to use them.
If you do...so be it.

Which is kind of weird because I'm the first to cringe at the thought of In Room Babysitting. The thought of opening your room to a strange to watch your kids while your gone gives me the chills.
I know they say they have backround checks and I also know I have yet to hear of an instance of a child being watched in such a way at disney and being abuse. But it still scares me for the child. So ya I can be over protective too. My kids grandparents sure think so. Just in this case am on the opposite side as you I guess.

Anyway the OP asked for thoughts and I just gave me.
and repeat I can understand the thought process of someone who does..but also see the reverse side and to me the appearance it makes.

 

[lustergirl]

Yes, I have only been reading them a couple of weeks but I do notice things heat up here a lot!

You have seen nothing yet. Try the "pool hopping", taking kids out of school", refillable mug use", Cutting Lines while waiting for rides", etc etc..

 

[lustergirl]

I think I'd get upset if I was accused of being a lazy parent, too.

Do you guys really go around voicing your opinions on other people's parenting abilities? It's very rude, and that's NOT what the OP was asking for.

What are you talking about? It happens all the time here!!!

 

[paintnolish]

I don't see a problem with them at all. I am fairly tall and it hurt my back to be stooped down holding the dcs hands for long periods of time. The harness gives them a little freedom while keeping them safe. I wish I would have tried it on dd sooner. By the time I did, she was not having it! Consequesntly, she spent a lot of time in her stroller, since she was a "runner" and then freaked out when you tried to put her back into the stroller or cart.
Then again, don't listen to me...I let my dcs miss school for vacation once a year.

 

[PIRATEGIRL007]

Wow 9 pages and it hasn't got closed yet, are the mods sleeping? Or busy waiting over on the codes thread for the Aug 12 announcment?

 

[lustergirl]

Wow 9 pages and it hasn't got closed yet, are the mods sleeping? Or busy waiting over on the codes thread for the Aug 12 announcment?

Kind of makes you wonder ha pirategirl? Have you browsed through the "big announcement' thread on the codes and rates. Those people are obsessed. I don't think there is going to be any announcement just a rumor started to see how many people who act like they are acting!!

 

[DisneyDork712]

It's very cute, but I've heard they are a bad idea, as you and the child could get used to not having to pay a whole lot of attention to where each other is. And that is not good!

 

[DisneyDork712]

Wow 9 pages and it hasn't got closed yet, are the mods sleeping? Or busy waiting over on the codes thread for the Aug 12 announcment?

You're right! They're probably all over on the August 12 announcement thread! lol

 

[mjkacmom]

I had to laugh as I read some of the responses. Ah, I remember the days of 1 on 1 parenting, when dh and I would each take a child's hand and be solely responsible for them. We never needed one of the leashes either (although I never judged anyone for using one).

Now that we have 4 kids and have moved on to zone defense, I love the harness. We almost always hold our son's hand while he has it on, but sometimes I like our 4 year old to hold onto the stroller so I can hold hands with my 10 or 8 year old and I LIKE being able to turn to our 10 or 8 year old and talk or answer a question without worrying that little runner has taken off.

On a serious note, you really think you can call me lazy? Honestly, and I mean this in the kindest way, it would really be good for all of you who were so critical to try and put yourself in someone else's shoes just for a bit. Try to imagine having more children than you have hands for, or having having a child who is naturally less inclined to sit or walk quietly or maybe a child who has emotional or developmental delays but still wants some independence. I think it might make you a little less judgmental and maybe a little more accepting of others who might have a different experience in this life than you

Peace,
Kelma
Mom to 2 princes and 2 princesses

As a mom who had 5 children in under 7 years, a big thumbs up! Never mind having a wanderer, and a runner, and twins! If CPS knew how many times we lost ds6, I think we'd be in big trouble - had to alarm the doors of the house! Malls, resorts, the neighborhood - this kid was a magician! Into thin air!

 

[mickeyluv'r]

Here's my take, although it's probably too late.

I can't speak of personally using one. You know your child. I think for some kids they are uneeded, but for others they will help save time. Overall, I think WDW is pretty safe, and most kids, most kids, have an inclination to stay close to the group. That is not to say some kids don't take off, or that it isn't a scary experience when it happens. If you know your child as one who takes off, then by all means - this harness is as cute as any.

 

[princessmom29]

I had to laugh as I read some of the responses. Ah, I remember the days of 1 on 1 parenting, when dh and I would each take a child's hand and be solely responsible for them. We never needed one of the leashes either (although I never judged anyone for using one).

Now that we have 4 kids and have moved on to zone defense, I love the harness. We almost always hold our son's hand while he has it on, but sometimes I like our 4 year old to hold onto the stroller so I can hold hands with my 10 or 8 year old and I LIKE being able to turn to our 10 or 8 year old and talk or answer a question without worrying that little runner has taken off.

On a serious note, you really think you can call me lazy? Honestly, and I mean this in the kindest way, it would really be good for all of you who were so critical to try and put yourself in someone else's shoes just for a bit. Try to imagine having more children than you have hands for, or having having a child who is naturally less inclined to sit or walk quietly or maybe a child who has emotional or developmental delays but still wants some independence. I think it might make you a little less judgmental and maybe a little more accepting of others who might have a different experience in this life than you

Peace,
Kelma
Mom to 2 princes and 2 princesses

This post really bothered me when i read it, but it took me a while to put my finger on why, and I think that it is this: I read it, and i feel like you are saying that no one with one or 2 kids can possibly have any idea what you or going through or have any kid of valid opinion on this subject. I realize that this is probably not your intent, but this is how it comes across to me. I have delt with 4 at a time or more in public places many, many times. I have taken day care kids of preschool age on field trips with a 4 to 1 ratio pretty often.I also have an aforementioned cousin with 3 children she doesn't care to watch at all. Her 3 plus mine makes for pretty interesting dynamics in public. I don't do it often, but I have been put on the spot and had to take them. That being said I still think that I wouldn't personally ever choose to use a harness to control them, even though their mother thinks it is the solution to having to watch them. I have even seem her tie her youngest to a table to go get another beer. I would rather set limits and enforce consequences for exceeding them, while watching them like a hawk. I feel like at least I am teaching them something if no one else is.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

You have seen nothing yet. Try the "pool hopping", taking kids out of school", refillable mug use", Cutting Lines while waiting for rides", etc etc..

OMG I still go ape on the cutting lines "but I have a reeeeeaaaallly good excuse" threads. I'm not evolved enough yet to let those go.

I'm barely evolved enough not to get into a b* slapping hair pulling fight IRL with line cutters, nevermind fighting from the safety of my computer

Most of the rest of the stuff I'm fairly sanguine about because it involves people messing up their own kids, not directly interfering with my life....

 

[tefrench]

Once when I was a little girl, I ran away from my mother (who was older and past running) and ran into a men's bathroom. My mom didn't know what to do! finally I came out on my own, and from then on, I was on a leash. I really don't remember and apparently have no hidden issues. And I just turned 40.

When my son was little, he was very independent and liked to dart off. He would not hold my hand; he just wanted to go. He didn't want to stay sitting all the time in a stroller, either. A harness was a great solution for us. The wrist one, he completely hated (and would unvelcro), but the complete harness worked. I felt safer knowing where he was at all times, and he loved the freedom. We used it in crowded public places with no problems.

My daughter was completely different; she was much more pliable and would hold our hands but still liked to go sometimes. And she went right up to strangers and hug their knees! Cute but scary, you know?


I never had a grownup question me, except to know where to buy one also!

 

[Henlady]

I haven't read all of the posts here, but many of them. If I may offer my opinion, don't worry about what others think about your using a harness to keep your child safe and within arms reach.
If your child is in a stroller, people will complain that you are running into them or cutting them off or whatever. If you just hold your childs hand and they "escape" and take off running, you will be admonished for letting your little one run "wild". YOU know your child and his/her needs. YOU know what is needed to keep that child safe and secure. YOU are the childs parent and
you know what is best for your child. So follow your best instincts keep that little darling safe. Don't worry about what others would do or think. It's really none of their business.
My 2 yo grandson is very independent. Most of the times he listens pretty well, but in crowds, he seems to think it's fun to run and "hide". He recently took off running thru a very crowded event and my dd litterally had to run after him, pushing people out of the way to try to catch him - he's fast.
She had the monkey back pack on him just moments prior to this and since he wasn't trying to "escape" and seemed to be behaving well, she decided to take it off of him. That was a mistake. She caught him just before he ran into the street.

 

[1sttimemickeymom]

Wow! After reading all 9 pages, I just have to chime in....

1st -- to the OP, although that harness is cute, I agree it might get too hot & be difficult for your child to lean back @ shows, etc.

2nd-- we use the one an earlier poster linked that is just a blue harness; no animal. Our DS is fine with it. I can't say he loves it, but he knows the rules. If he is out of the stroller in a very public place, the harness goes on.

3rd -- we are VERY considerate of others. He does not run wild at the end of "a leash", causing havoc to others. Like others have stated, we hold his hand as well as have the harness on. He is also a runner -- and much faster than me!

4th -- which brings me to my final point. No one else has mentioned the reason why I MUST use the harness -- my own health. I have a disability (which to most is "hidden") . As a matter of fact, most of the time when we are out in crowds using the harness, I really need to use my electric wheelchair, but when it is just he & I that is very unsafe --- so I walk & push his stroller or hold his hand. As others have mentioned, when you have a darter or a big height difference, that is bad for both the child & parent. There is absolutely NO WAY I can go at the pace our very healthy & happy 2 year old wants to go. Do I feel guilty about this? Yes, every day of my life. I try to remember that there are many great things I can (and do) teach him about compassion for others, etc. but the guilt is still there. Having people make judgements about this certainly does not help. I try VERY HARD not to let what others think affect me & my child, but unfortunately I have had people make rude comments about his "leash". I would dearly love to not use it, but it's just not an option.

So, although we all are guilty of making 1st impression judgements -- please try very hard to follow it with a quick 2nd impression that tells your brain you may not have any idea what that family is dealing with!

Peace .

 

[lovinwdw]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and input. It has helped. I do plan on using it, not the entire trip, but I do plan to use it during parades or when he needs to get up and stretch his legs. But, if we aren't in a crowded area, he will not be wearing it. DH and I keep our eyes on him constantly whenever we're out. My plan is to hold his hand and just have the "leash" draped over my wrist. Better safe than sorry!

Now, onto my next question...if my husband waits in line for a ride while me and the others from my group run to pick up some souveniers, is it ok for us to get in line with him once he gets into the front?

I'm just kidding!!!!!!!!!!

Peace Love & Happiness to you all!!!! Thanks again!

 

[lustergirl]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and input. It has helped. I do plan on using it, not the entire trip, but I do plan to use it during parades or when he needs to get up and stretch his legs. But, if we aren't in a crowded area, he will not be wearing it. DH and I keep our eyes on him constantly whenever we're out. My plan is to hold his hand and just have the "leash" draped over my wrist. Better safe than sorry!

Now, onto my next question...if my husband waits in line for a ride while me and the others from my group run to pick up some souveniers, is it ok for us to get in line with him once he gets into the front?

I'm just kidding!!!!!!!!!!

Peace Love & Happiness to you all!!!! Thanks again!

Are you trying to start a riot here??

 

[lovinwdw]

Are you trying to start a riot here??

who, me?

 

[ShannonMB]

OP, just wanted to add that your DS is totally adorable. Do what you gotta do to keep that little guy safe!

 

[GrillMouster]

We get the strangest looks when we go for walks in our neighborhood. I think it's because our toddler is wearing a harness while my wife pushes our puppy in a doggie stroller. Just kidding.

I have never used a harness on our son, but, then again, I simply haven't had need to use one. I certainly wouldn't judge a parent who does. Short of physical/mental abuse or neglect, responsible parenting can take many forms.

This thread reminded me of a childhood incident that resulted in me never venturing far from my parents. We were at Epcot (then called EPCOT) in the early 80s in one of the Communicore buldings (now Innoventions). After repeated warnings from my parents not to wander away I had done just that. My parents let the situation unfold, keeping and eye on me as I wandered off but staying out of my sight. After a couple of minutes of looking at the exhibits I realized that I was alone and couldn't find my parents. At that age there are few things scarier than being lost. I panicked and cried, and immediately my mother came around the corner and picked me up, wiped away my tears and told me, "now do you understand why we keep telling you not to wander off?" Lesson learned. After that I always made sure to stay near my parents. They always encouraged me to explore, as long as I stayed within eyeshot, as long as I knew where they were, and as long as they knew where I was.