Hanging FE's Without Joining a Group, What do you think?

[Disney Canadian]

Why are you assuming that FEs not on your list are people taking advantage of others and not (1) a family doing their own FE gifts for the kids; (2) a FE exchange created from a different website or other group that is not your own?

To the rest of the thread:

If I put up a FE without signing up for a group, no one has to put anything in it if I'm not on their list. Likewise, someone can create gifts to hand out to any FE they see and never sign up for a group in return, nor even have an FE on their door. An FE is not an automatic demand for a gift.

As far as I've been told whenever FE origins come up on the boards, this whole practice started as a way to spread Disney Magic and pixie dust to other people on the cruise. This idea that we are entitled to expectations of value and effort and quid pro quo is kind of boggling, especially when the burden is consistently being put on the person hanging the FE and not the person choosing to hand out gifts, either to a room on their list OR to a room not on their list. YES, people who put out an FE EXPECTING gift for no effort are greedy people. BUT, if the idea of giving something for nothing--or for very little in exchange--just to make someone's day a little better REALLY bothers you that much, then don't sign up.

My four-year-old DD has been working very hard on what are going to look like incredibly cheap bookmarks. It's what we can afford and she is desperately excited to hand them out. We will not be putting our names on them because I believe that FE gifts should be anonymous to avoid exactly this kind of accounting mentality and ensuing judgement. The thought that a single person would dismiss not only her hard work but also her learning experience simply because their gift was "better" or bigger or just MORE makes me want to cry. We love Disney because the brand teaches our children that true magic is made by people, at the micro and macro levels. That includes the FE exchange.

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Sorry, a little off topic but had to comment...

I can guarantee you that these types of gifts are my favourite! Handmade gifts, especially from children...there is nothing more special! I think she should proudly put her name or initials on each one, or a picture, whatever you're comfortable with. If someone doesn't appreciate something so wonderful, feel sorry for them because that is truly sad. It is the thought that counts and that is how I determine what is a "good" gift, not the money spent.

I would love to see a pic of them.

 

[FergusBC]

I can guarantee you that these types of gifts are my favourite! Handmade gifts, especially from children...there is nothing more special! I think she should proudly put her name or initials on each one, or a picture, whatever you're comfortable with. If someone doesn't appreciate something so wonderful, feel sorry for them because that is truly sad. It is the thought that counts and that is how I determine what is a "good" gift, not the money spent.

I would love to see a pic of them.

I totally agree! That would be something I would hang on to and treasure for the rest of my days because it would bring a smile to my face to think of a child putting in the effort to spread some magic

 

[lbgraves]

I have been thinking about hanging a fish extender and filling it with items for my kids without participating in an "official" FE group. Is there a knob or place to hang the fish extender inside the cabin on the Fantasy? I saw one on the Magic on the wall between the shower room and bed that would work and wonder if there is similar spot on the Fantasy.

Yes there is.

This is how I read it as well.
Also, did you notice the date it was posted? It was March 2012, so not a recent addition to the blog.

It was recently posted on their FB page so this may be the reason it has just been seen.

 

[Jey12]

You can absolutely put an FE out. And no, I don't think you need to put any kind of disclaimer on it. There are multiple websites that do FE groups so just because the FE on a particular door is not part of the DIS group, it doesn't mean someone is trying to scam people out of gifts. They could be with another group or they could be doing it for their own kids...or they could be doing it just because they like to use their FE as a decoration.

Feel free to decorate your door as you please (within DCL guidelines, of course).

I totally agree with this. No one who is doing an FE on their own or innocently decorating their door (within DCL guidelines) should be made to feel bad or worry they are going to upset someone. I thought all FE groups on this board gave cabin number and the amount as well as the ages of the people participating, or at least the ages of the kids? If not I would request my group do so. I realize sometimes there's upgrades at the port and late assignments, but there is usually a scheduled meet and greet on the first day. I would assume anyone who needed to let other know of a change or wanted to have an updated list would try to make that meeting. At least know the room number of the person running the FE so you can leave a note asking for an updated list if you can't make the meet and greet. I go by the list I have first and then gift any extras to the FE's I see that weren't in our group. It's my choice and it wouldn't upset me even if someone hung it out there to see what happened. To be honest I would never know that's what they were doing.

So I found the blog and I interpret it differently. She said that most of the gifts that showed up were from their TA with a few things from others, which makes it seem that since the TA was on the cruise they were having their clients participate in a FE group that wasn't expected to be reciprocated. The TA told her to put it out so that there would be a place for them to put the things.

This. I tracked down and read the blog and did not take it as the person intentionally put an FE out to gain goodies from strangers who would mistake their FE for one in their group. Nor did I take it as the TA was suggesting they do so. It sounded like the TA suggested this as a way to deliver gifts to the clients she was on the ship with and sometimes others, such as myself, would drop a thing or two in. The suggestion of bringing gifts along to give to others read to me as she enjoyed the gifts and now she better understands things would like to pass along the pixie dust to others next time. I am glad to see I am not the only one who read this differently.

I don't think you attaching a disclaimer to your FE is necessary. If someone puts something in there that is their choice. You have your own thing going with your FE, you are not soliciting gifts from others simply by having it hanging there. As many have said, there could be multiple FE groups onboard so if someone sees your FE they should check their list and not assume you are in their group.

This too. If I put something in an FE that is not on my list it is because I wanted to. Partly because I wanted to give a surprise gift to a stranger and partly because I need to free up room in my bag for when DCL tells me I have to leave.

 

[Jey12]

Also for the poster with the child making bookmarks. I would adore it and so would DD7. She's all about bookmarks and loves she can make her own out of just about anything. From our cruise 3 years ago we still are using many of the homemade items we received. Or they still decorate our fridge. To be honest I'm not sure I would even notice or care if all I received was a small bag of candy from a group, even if they put their name on it. When we did our FE we put from our family on one of the gifts because it was from our state, but other gifts were not labeled. So I wouldn't even think that was the only thing they left. Especially since some people give different gifts on different days. Plus I don't have the time to sit and match up the gifts with who gave them, I am too busy enjoying the ship.

 

[MikeAndNick]

My four-year-old DD has been working very hard on what are going to look like incredibly cheap bookmarks.

Never sell hard work short. They will not look cheap, they will look like someone spent lots of love creating them. I wish I was on your cruise because I would die for one of your daughters bookmarks. Anyone looking at them will know it was done with love. Make sure she knows how much love and magic she is spreading.

 

[Meghatron]

Thanks, everyone.

Never sell hard work short. They will not look cheap, they will look like someone spent lots of love creating them. I wish I was on your cruise because I would die for one of your daughters bookmarks. Anyone looking at them will know it was done with love. Make sure she knows how much love and magic she is spreading.

I am not selling her work short. I know exactly how much work has gone in to them, and so will many other people. I was specifically talking about the people who keep a value-exchange tally in their head when it comes to FE gifts and would only see a "cheap" thing made out of construction paper, stickers, and laminate with no perception of how much love and thoughtfulness went in to it. Even now, on another thread, people are talking about FE as an equal exchange as opposed to magical pixie dust extras and how to make sure people are "fulfilling commitments".

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[Cruise]

My four-year-old DD has been working very hard on what are going to look like incredibly cheap bookmarks. It's what we can afford and she is desperately excited to hand them out. We will not be putting our names on them because I believe that FE gifts should be anonymous to avoid exactly this kind of accounting mentality and ensuing judgement. The thought that a single person would dismiss not only her hard work but also her learning experience simply because their gift was "better" or bigger or just MORE makes me want to cry. We love Disney because the brand teaches our children that true magic is made by people, at the micro and macro levels. That includes the FE exchange.

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Honestly, I'd much rather have your name (or your daughter's specifically) on the gift so I'd know something about it. Knowing that a 4 year old made the bookmark would make it that much more special to me. I loved talking to the people in my FE about the gifts they gave, how they came up with the idea, what went into the making of them. Maybe it's because I don't consider myself creative, but I loved hearing about everyone else's process. There were even stories behind purchased (rather than crafted) items that gave me an "Oh yeah!" moment that I hadn't thought of. Sometimes (as is the case with your daughter's bookmark), there was more to the story than what just the gift alone would tell.

 

[TDC Nala]

If you want to keep from giving gifts to FE users who are not in a group and didn't bring anything to contribute, then put your gifts only in the FEs that are on your list. That is really all that you can do, since the whole gift exchange thing has snowballed into what it is now. The DIS is not the only site coordinating fish extender groups. I don't see it being up to the independent fish extender hanger to have to put up a disclaimer that says "I'm not in your group."

Sorry, but I can't agree with a prior poster that it is "stealing," not when participants are knowingly putting gifts into FEs that are not on their lists - knowing full well that they will not be getting something back from the owner of that FE. If that's what they want to do, it's up to them.

I did see one post further up from someone who was disappointed to get a bag of candy in return for their elaborate, time-consuming-to-make gift. I wouldn't put my name on anything either. When I did this (and it was the first ever FE exchange) the only gift I prepared was pirate name tags for everybody on Pirate night. Not anything I'd put a whole lot of effort into.

 

[woody73]

. . . It sounded like the TA suggested this as a way to deliver gifts to the clients she was on the ship with and sometimes others, such as myself, would drop a thing or two in.

When I sailed on Celebrity last month, there was a TA traveling with a group. He gave them "hanging pockets" so he could deliver goodies throughout the cruise.

Woody

 

[SapphireMind]

I have no issue about the FE gifts being homemade (heck mine are homemade and not fancy) or anything else but I guess I was rubbed the wrong way with the way it was phrased. I read the original post, and while the TA did give gifts, the way it was put made it seem like even if you don't have that TA, if you put one out, you'll get gifts, and only maybe you might want to get a few for others. And if you want to give randomly, I think that's great too (I have extras to give away)

It's just the implication to me when you are putting it out there with no caveats, isn't a good idea. Some people might do it, and expect gifts and not get any, which would make me sad, especially if it they didn't know about the system.

I think if she had said something about message boards arranging exchanges, or families doing exchanges, I would have felt like it wasn't as distasteful.

 

[atwood]

I think the homemade stuff is the best and even more so when a child makes it

 

[LemonPie]

OK. Not exactly on topic but I plan to make door "porthole" ears and randomly "ear" rooms. It just sounds like fun to me. Yes I have accepted that I am a tad off but like to spread the joy. Too strange?

 

[neg58]

OK. Not exactly on topic but I plan to make door "porthole" ears and randomly "ear" rooms. It just sounds like fun to me. Yes I have accepted that I am a tad off but like to spread the joy. Too strange?

No, fun. As long as you are doing it for fun and expect nothing but good karma back, go for it.

Nancy

 

[dizzyr]

OK. Not exactly on topic but I plan to make door "porthole" ears and randomly "ear" rooms. It just sounds like fun to me. Yes I have accepted that I am a tad off but like to spread the joy. Too strange?

Awesome!!! I would love coming back to my room and seeing that.