Melora
Disney Dreaming
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2003
- Messages
- 2,556
My eldest entered the Air Force a couple weeks ago.
Well at 5 AM the phone rings and its him telling me that he had 2 big panic attacks and ended up in the infirmary and then told them he had been put on Paxil when he was 15. He never did tell them that before he went in because he tried it for less than 2 weeks and didnt like then quit. But he told them he took it for 6 months...
I asked him why he said that and he said he couldnt remember at the time and thats just what he said.
So now I am worried sick about whats going to happen to him. I know he has had certain anxiety related problems coming directly from his dad who is a mental basket case. He is currently on meds for bi-polar, though Im not sure if thats exactly what he has. I did not know he had these problems when I married him. But they became more apparant the longer we were together.
A brief aside to this... Last night my 3 year old came to me and asked Wheres Chris?
I told him Chris had to go to work and it would be awhile until we saw him again.
Then he said Chris is sick.
I said no, Chris isnt sick, hes working. (I couldnt think of a better way to explain it)
Then he said NO, Chris is sad, hes crying.
I told him, No Chris is fine, he'll be alright.
He looked right at me and said NO, hes crying, hes very sad.
I gave him a hug and then went and told Jeff about it who said well remember what night it is and when you talk to Chris next, ask him if he was OK.
Well I didnt have to wonder too long because of the call this morning. I know it might just be a coincidence, but it was weird because the little guy KNEW Chris was unhappy. (This is the second incident of him doing something like this in the past month)
Sorry for going off my topic here.
I am so worried about Chris. I wonder if he will be in trouble for not disclosing that he used Paxil. At the time since he wasnt having any problems it didnt seem worth mentioning and having them possibly disqualify him if he wasnt having issues. He hadn't really had any problems for over 3 years so it didn't seem like it was worth mentioning. (Plesae no bad words to me about this)
My biggest worry is also a selfish one. I do not want him to come back and live with us. We do not have the room. He was living in our workout room (3rd car garage) and when he left we got that all arranged so we can start using it again. I want him to go and live with his dad if he gets kicked out but I do not think his dad will want him too.
How do I tell him he has to grow up and take care of himself, but know that he has no skills to get a good job? How much do I help him without it disrupting my life. I have taken care of all of my kids since my I left my ex 7 years ago. Hes never paid child support and now that he lives out of state he has not seen my 8 year old in 18 months. He calls and talks to him for 5 minuntes maybe once a month.
Ive done it all. Satup with them when they are sick, gone through emotional crisis', gone to innumerable school functions, paid $12,000 for 3 kids braces etc etc. I do not mind because I love my kids more than life itself, and in a way I am glad I do not have to deal with him regularly. Jeff is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he has stepped and in been their dad. He calls them his kids and they call him their dad and they love him very much.
BUT...I am done supporting Chris. He is wonderful guy, but he's got some of his dads problems and is not easy to live with. I need to move on with my life. I may be jumping the gun and he may not be discharged, but I can't see any other outcome.
I am sorry to moan, and to sound so upset. I just need a little good thoughts sent this way.
How do you draw the line between helping a child (who is now an adult) and coddling them so they never stand on their own?
Well at 5 AM the phone rings and its him telling me that he had 2 big panic attacks and ended up in the infirmary and then told them he had been put on Paxil when he was 15. He never did tell them that before he went in because he tried it for less than 2 weeks and didnt like then quit. But he told them he took it for 6 months...
I asked him why he said that and he said he couldnt remember at the time and thats just what he said.So now I am worried sick about whats going to happen to him. I know he has had certain anxiety related problems coming directly from his dad who is a mental basket case. He is currently on meds for bi-polar, though Im not sure if thats exactly what he has. I did not know he had these problems when I married him. But they became more apparant the longer we were together.
A brief aside to this... Last night my 3 year old came to me and asked Wheres Chris?
I told him Chris had to go to work and it would be awhile until we saw him again.
Then he said Chris is sick.
I said no, Chris isnt sick, hes working. (I couldnt think of a better way to explain it)
Then he said NO, Chris is sad, hes crying.
I told him, No Chris is fine, he'll be alright.
He looked right at me and said NO, hes crying, hes very sad.
I gave him a hug and then went and told Jeff about it who said well remember what night it is and when you talk to Chris next, ask him if he was OK.
Well I didnt have to wonder too long because of the call this morning. I know it might just be a coincidence, but it was weird because the little guy KNEW Chris was unhappy. (This is the second incident of him doing something like this in the past month)
Sorry for going off my topic here.
I am so worried about Chris. I wonder if he will be in trouble for not disclosing that he used Paxil. At the time since he wasnt having any problems it didnt seem worth mentioning and having them possibly disqualify him if he wasnt having issues. He hadn't really had any problems for over 3 years so it didn't seem like it was worth mentioning. (Plesae no bad words to me about this)
My biggest worry is also a selfish one. I do not want him to come back and live with us. We do not have the room. He was living in our workout room (3rd car garage) and when he left we got that all arranged so we can start using it again. I want him to go and live with his dad if he gets kicked out but I do not think his dad will want him too.
How do I tell him he has to grow up and take care of himself, but know that he has no skills to get a good job? How much do I help him without it disrupting my life. I have taken care of all of my kids since my I left my ex 7 years ago. Hes never paid child support and now that he lives out of state he has not seen my 8 year old in 18 months. He calls and talks to him for 5 minuntes maybe once a month.
Ive done it all. Satup with them when they are sick, gone through emotional crisis', gone to innumerable school functions, paid $12,000 for 3 kids braces etc etc. I do not mind because I love my kids more than life itself, and in a way I am glad I do not have to deal with him regularly. Jeff is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he has stepped and in been their dad. He calls them his kids and they call him their dad and they love him very much.
BUT...I am done supporting Chris. He is wonderful guy, but he's got some of his dads problems and is not easy to live with. I need to move on with my life. I may be jumping the gun and he may not be discharged, but I can't see any other outcome.
I am sorry to moan, and to sound so upset. I just need a little good thoughts sent this way.
How do you draw the line between helping a child (who is now an adult) and coddling them so they never stand on their own?
I hope everything is okay
My first suggestion would be to calm down and take one step at time. Before you start sweating the "is he going to move back home" scenario, wait and see what happens. I highly doubt they are going to kick him out. After all Paxil is a prescription drug, it's not like he was doing heroin or cocaine. Trust me, a LOT of people, have taken/take meds for anixiety. It doesn't mean they are nuts, crazy, or dangerous.
You should pursue this before too much time goes by.
so he felt he was "doing ******". The doc said he looked at his file and the sargent had written that he thought he was doing very well and not to worry.
