Gut feeling that DH is starting to lose the fight..UPDATE pg. 4

[WeirdEyes]

C.Ann, does your DH have insurance or is the VA his only option?

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. It seems like you have been through a lot this year. God bless you!

 

[Mishetta]

My goodness, you really have had your share this year, haven't you? I'm very sorry this is happening. I don't know what to say except try to keep your chin up. Sending good thoughts your way.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by WeirdEyes
C.Ann, does your DH have insurance or is the VA his only option?

------------------------------------------

Although I still carry a Medicare supplemental policy on him (in case we were far from the VA and he had to be rushed to the hospital) we're not able to use it for his regular healthcare because of all of the medications he has to take.. The supplemental policy will only cover $500 worth of meds per YEAR - which equals only a ONE MONTH supply of 2 of the 8 daily meds he is currently on.. With no prescription coverage, his meds would easily run $1200 a month or more so we had a choice of better healthcare but no meds - or worse care and meds with a co-pay of $100 to $150 a month.. Medical expenses wiped out his pension, IRA and our life savings a long time ago, so the only thing left was the VA.. Without the meds he would have already died, so we had to choose what we felt was the lesser of two evils - as well as the option that would keep him alive and comfortable for as long as he wants to continue the fight..

I guess this is a perfect example of "you get what you pay for..."

 

[Robinrs]

Do find out what kind of help you can get, C.Ann. You cannot do this by yourself.

God bless you, honey. You've had one heck of a year....

Robinrs

 

[newmousecateer]

{{HUGS}} C.Ann.....

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

I am so sorry.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

We drive 100 miles to the hospital and clinics of the V.A. of our choice in order for Gary to get good care. As a matter of fact since his disablity is 100% service connected I also get health care provided by the V.A. through ChampVA. We both get very good care. Gary's php is a nurse practitioner in our town but he goes to the big hospital and clinics for all his speciality appointments and he goes A LOT. We've had our ups and downs with different V.A. providers but once we found competent people we moved his care to them and have been very satisfied.

How can they just fail to provide your husband with a cardiology referral? I know healthcare is being rationed everywhere but even the V.A. and their chopped up budgets have to provide appropriate care. Do you have choices of facilities and primary care providers? Can you transfer him to another facility hopefully affiliated with a teaching hospital as ours is? A bad or lazy pcp needs to be replaced. You might want to remind them that while you know you can't sue the V.A. you can take legal action against any medical personnel whose decisions adversely effect your husband's health.

Hang in there and give 'em hell, C.Ann. I know how tiring it gets to have to do all the pushing and shoving, it's miserable. I have had to stomp, scream and shout but finally got what my hubby needed. I hope and pray you can too.

 

[Kirby]

 

[4nana]

Oh CAnn....I truly feel your pain dear heart.

There is nothing more terrifing or depressing than watching a loved one suffer and knowing there is not much you can do to help. I watched my Dad sufffer w/cancer and altho the VA is not there at your every beck and call, they thankfully prolonged his life oh many many times. Very sad indeed!

Have you thought of Hospice? They are a Godsend and would help relieve some of your problems. I believe in your situation they may have some type financial support to cover their costs. It would be worth a try.

Your step children should be ashamed of themselves! You need all the support you can get with their father. I'll pray you continue to remain strong.

Take care and will surely keep you and yours in my prayers.

God Bless ^i^
Sandie

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by crazyforgoofy
We drive 100 miles to the hospital and clinics of the V.A. of our choice in order for Gary to get good care. As a matter of fact since his disablity is 100% service connected I also get health care provided by the V.A. through ChampVA. We both get very good care. Gary's php is a nurse practitioner in our town but he goes to the big hospital and clinics for all his speciality appointments and he goes A LOT. We've had our ups and downs with different V.A. providers but once we found competent people we moved his care to them and have been very satisfied.

How can they just fail to provide your husband with a cardiology referral? I know healthcare is being rationed everywhere but even the V.A. and their chopped up budgets have to provide appropriate care. Do you have choices of facilities and primary care providers? Can you transfer him to another facility hopefully affiliated with a teaching hospital as ours is? A bad or lazy pcp needs to be replaced. You might want to remind them that while you know you can't sue the V.A. you can take legal action against any medical personnel whose decisions adversely effect your husband's health.

Hang in there and give 'em hell, C.Ann. I know how tiring it gets to have to do all the pushing and shoving, it's miserable. I have had to stomp, scream and shout but finally got what my hubby needed. I hope and pray you can too.

-----------------------------------

First of all, let me say that I am glad to hear that you and Gary are able to get GOOD care through the VA.. Although that doesn't help my DH, it does help to take some of the bitterness away that I feel towards VA in general.. It's nice to know that all VA facilities aren't the same!

Unfortunately the next closest major VA facility for us is several hundred miles away and it would be virtually impossible for my DH to make that trip due to his various health problems..

I'm fairly certain that if his illness was a direct result of his military duty he would qualify for a lot more than he currently does, but the silly man had the audacity to stay healthy until he was diagnosed with cancer and then all the other health problems just piled up on top of that..

I won't give up the fight, but believe me, after all this time it's really starting to wear me down...........

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by 4nana

Your step children should be ashamed of themselves! You need all the support you can get with their father. Sandie

----------------------------

Ashamed of themselves? LOL.. They're far too busy accusing me of not doing "enough" for their Dad.. I'm not exactly clear on WHAT it is that they think I "should" be doing, but if they could ever work up the nerve to tell me, I sure would like to hear it..

Let's see.. One daughter hasn't seen him in 5 years.. She's an RN (lives in the south) and only calls to scream at me because I don't FORCE her Dad to eat "fish" - which he happens to be allergic to..

Son in New England - I think he came to visit his Dad for a half-hour about a year and a half ago..

Two daughters live locally - they saw him almost 2 years ago when he was in the hospital in the ICU..

One other daughter that tries really hard to get down here once a week but the poor girl's life is a zoo.. She's constantly being torn in a hundred different directions by her own loved ones..

That leaves me - my DD when she can get over here to help me - and my Godsend son-in-law.. Without those two, I think I would have thrown myself off a bridge a LONG time ago..

I'm doing the best I can - just don't feel like it's "enough".......

 

[Kitty 34]

I'm so sorry to hear about how sick your DH is . I'm sending many prayers.

 

[rasnlms]

To you.

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by C.Ann
I'm doing the best I can - just don't feel like it's "enough".......

You have to take that boulder off your shoulders. You are doing the best anyone could do. And don't let anyone try and tell you otherwise, tell them to get off your back or come and do something themselves. You'd welcome the help.

Nothing you can do will be enough in your eyes, you can't make his problems go away, no matter how much you would like to be able to. All you can do is the best you can to deal with what's happening. And you have and continue to do the best you can or can figure out how.

 

[safetymom]

C.Ann, so sorry to hear about your husband. Please remember to try and take care of yourself while you are taking care of him.

 

[Sleepy]

Originally posted by C.Ann
-----------------------------------I'm fairly certain that if his illness was a direct result of his military duty he would qualify for a lot more than he currently does, but the silly man had the audacity to stay healthy until he was diagnosed with cancer and then all the other health problems just piled up on top of that.............

Unfortunately, there are alot of health issues that many veterans face that the military DOES know is service related, but refuse to admit it to those who need the care because of the money issues. My father is one of them. He has several conditions and has been to military hospitals. They asked him if he ever saw barrells with orange lids during the Vietnam war. Scarey huh? Anyway, now he lives with these problems and the meds he takes to control them can cause problems themselves. Kind of a catch 22. Sad that the military tells someone they will be taken care of for life, but later they attach exceptions to the rule. In your husbands case.....how do they know his cancer was not caused by something service related Just something I always ask myself about my Dad. Try going to family services on base. Alot of times they will help you or point you in the right direction when the military will slam a door in your face (they pulled a few strings and did something for me that should have NEVER been done). The internet is a wonderful tool. Look for message boards. There are many in your shoes. Much an advantage over how things were long before the internet. The answer no was no back then. Now we see differently through others words.....people just like us. I hope you find the help you need.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Continued good thoughts and prayers, C.Ann, coming your hubby's and your way. 's

 

[castlegazer]

C.Ann contact your local Elder Services (that's what its called here so itwill be under different names in different regions). If you can't find it through your own methods, contact your local congressman's office. They will help put you in contact with the local office that are there to help you. Also talk to your congressman's office about the VA and what services you can availa yourself of that you may not have been made aware of. Believe it or not that is exactly what the congressman's local office is there to help people with and if they don't have answers for you they will direct you in the proper direction. They also can be a comfort to you. They have people specifically designated as constituent services representatives.

I also know that my mother was able to go through Medicare to get some at home services so again, you can ask this question of the congressman's office and they will most likely give you a telephone number of someone at Medicare who can help you. They can open doors that are not normally open to you if you just call on your own.

Good luck - and get support.

Keep talking here, it does help.

 

[TinkHappy]

Oh C. Ann, I am so sorry. It is so hard when someone you love is very sick. Please don't forget to eat and get rest yourself. It is very important for you to be strong as well.
I will continue to keep you and your husband in my thoughts. I wish there was more...

{{{Hugs}}}