Guests paying to get in to a bday party?

[DISdreamin']

We had a b-day party for DS a number of years back at a local science museum. The invitations we sent out were very clear - admission for the invited guest and one adult/parent were included. We stated that to be sure someone didn't bring along siblings without realizing they'd need to pay for their admission. Frankly, I can't imagine inviting guests to a party and expecting them to pay their way!

Were it my child, I'd do what a pp mentioned and write a nice note mentioning a playdate in the future but declining the invitation.

 

[averysmom]

Crazy tacky! I do agree though with some PP, maybe they put that down so that ppl know that they won't be paying for siblings or parents. (Although I agree with you OP, that 3 is too young for a drop off party - and hosts should be paying for one adult chaperone).

I've read some pretty crazy things about birthday parties recently - parents bringing uninvited siblings and expecting hosts to pay, both parents staying for the party and expecting hosts to pay for admission AND food - and I don't mean for young kids where they are not drop off parties - I've heard about parents of 7-8-9 year olds attending parties with their kids and expecting hosts to pay. Even in these situations, I can forgive one parent, but both? Really, you need both parents to stay and eat pizza?

If it is true and they want you to pay for your dd and yourself, I would not be going.

 

[Jitzy]

I don't think that you should invite someone to an activity/amusement park/event and Not pay for it. If the family can't afford the expense, then they should have the party elsewhere.

Our son's 18th "party" was at Halloween Horror Nights last year. We took two friends and our two sons. We bought the tickets (four adult tickets, DH and I didn't go~the boys were 18, 18, 17 and 15), paid for dinner at Outback before the party and 2 hotel rooms. Our son was thrilled! We had an awesome deal on tickets because it was a Sunday night. The hotel was a steal~heard about the deal here on the Dis! And what's two more meals at Outback? We drove them down from Jacksonville and back and bought the other meals.

DH and I hung at EPCOT with friends, it was F&W. A great time was had by all! And I enjoyed hearing the boys' stories all the way home in the car.Our son has such great friends! I think they are going again this year, but they are in college so I am out of the plans, bummer!

 

[C.Ann]

Is this the way of birthday parties in the recession?

I just re-read your post and I must have missed this before because suddenly it just jumped out at me..

That may very well be the case.. Because of the economy, they can't afford to pay admission for all of the people they invited - but - I think the disconnect is that they aren't the only people who have been hard hit by our current economy, yet for whatever reason they are assuming that other people aren't struggling as well.. By the time you add in the birthday gift, it may be more than many families can afford on extras right now..

If it isn't within your financial means, I would politely decline - but still try to get together at a later date to give the little girl her birthday gift from your DD (if you're so inclined)..

It's going to be kind of sad if very few kids show up - but if the parents couldn't afford the party, they should have planned something where guests weren't required to pay admission..

 

[disykat]

I would say no thank you to the invitation.

That said, I don't think it's really that different than a destination wedding. You can invite in case there are people with the interest and ability to join you, but you shouldn't expect people to come.

With birthdays becoming the new wedding, I'm not suprised to hear you've been invited to a destination birthday party. Pretty soon there will be travel involved as well.

Invitations are not a command performance. Just say no!

 

[Kay1]

I don't think that you should invite someone to an activity/amusement park/event and Not pay for it. If the family can't afford the expense, then they should have the party elsewhere.

Our son's 18th "party" was at Halloween Horror Nights last year. We took two friends and our two sons. We bought the tickets (four adult tickets, DH and I didn't go~the boys were 18, 18, 17 and 15), paid for dinner at Outback before the party and 2 hotel rooms. Our son was thrilled! We had an awesome deal on tickets because it was a Sunday night. The hotel was a steal~heard about the deal here on the Dis! And what's two more meals at Outback? We drove them down from Jacksonville and back and bought the other meals.
!

We did something similar for my son's birthday when he was about ten. We invited the little girl next door to spend the day at the MK. We had the character buffet and gave the kids Disney Dollars. The girl's mom really wanted to pay her daughter's admission but I explained to her that I was actually saving money by not having a big party with a cake, pizza, treat bags, pinata, etcetera, and she gave in.

See, that's the thing. I think the parent in the first post should have only invited the guests she could afford to pay for or had the party somewhere else.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Wow! That is crazy! I would definatly NOT be going to that party!! There will be many many more!!!

 

[a1tinkfans]

We did something similar for my son's birthday when he was about ten. We invited the little girl next door to spend the day at the MK. We had the character buffet and gave the kids Disney Dollars. The girl's mom really wanted to pay her daughter's admission but I explained to her that I was actually saving money by not having a big party with a cake, pizza, treat bags, pinata, etcetera, and she gave in.

See, that's the thing. I think the parent in the first post should have only invited the guests she could afford to pay for or had the party somewhere else.

I BOLDED1

 

[My2CrazyGirls]

Ok, budget minded friends. I need your help.

My daughter (3) was invited to a birthday party at a local amusement park.
The invitation says "chips, drink, cake and ice cream will be provided. Tickets in to the park are required for all 3+".

So, I go to the park's website. The "hosts" are paying for a party room inside the park. You can't get to the party with out paying admission. My daughter is 3, so it's not like it can be a drop off party. So, 1 child and 1 adult are $26 just to walk in to the party. My husband will be working that day, so I'll have to bring our 11 yr old with. Now $39 total.

Please help!!!

Is this the way of birthday parties in the recession?

Did you call the host and get clarification? I am sure the child's ticket must be included. Let us know!

 

[ceemys]

Definitely not the norm! I would politley decline the party. As other posters have stated, you will have plenty of parties to attend.

 

[bas71873]

Did you call the host and get clarification? I am sure the child's ticket must be included. Let us know!

I'm curious how this turns out too. I had DD's 3rd birthday party at a Bounce House and my limit was 15 kids, which was just enough for the kids in her daycare class and a few of my neighbors. I just bluntly said on my invitation that if siblings must attend, you will be responsible for paying the $8 or whatever it was for them to bounce. I had no intention of paying for everyone's brothers and sisters.

 

[hodgieha]

Last year my friend's daughter was invited to a birthday party that was being held at a pavillon on the outside of the local amusement park. They were not going to pay for the guest to get into the park. On top of this it is a 30-40 minute drive to get to the park. My friend was like how do I take my daughter to a party outside the amusement and tell them no we aren't going in. See decided not to go as it would be too expensive.

 

[daisyduck123]

Is this the way of birthday parties in the recession?

No. It's just parents being cheap.

 

[ceecee]

We have been to lots of parties over the years and I have never heard of this. I'm sorry, but we would be passing on that party for sure.

 

[leight]

We lived on LI when my kids were toddlers and had lots of cousins nearby who had kids our kids' ages. Bday parties were always $300-$400 a pop. We had dd#1's 4th bday at a small amusement park. All the kids got P.O.P bracelets and one parent per child got a free ride along since the park was really geared to young kids. All of the relatives we paid completely for. We asked a few friends as well, and in their invites I specifically stated that the invited child and a parent were included- and that they were welcome to bring additional family members at a discounted POP rate- and stated that rate. I also stated that pizza, drinks and cake would be included for all. I remember feeling really funny about doing it but one family from prek had 5 kids- I couldn't afford all of them! It was a great time and several of the school friends did pay for the extra kid(s). But we paid for all pizza, drinks and the cake.

The next year we did one of those bounce places- and it was open to the public as well as having party rooms. Same thing- all relatives were paid for, school friends were paid for and extra kids had a negotiated rate if parents wanted to bring them. One lady used it like a babysitting time- she dropped her 5 yr old and two other kids and took off. I was so mad because I could barely recognize them enough to bring them back to the room for pizza/cake.

It no longer shocks me what people will do.

OP- if its not a place you want to bring your family to be with the bday kid- decline the invite. At 3yrs old, neither your child nor the bday kid would remember feeling like they missed anything.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I'm curious how this turns out too. I had DD's 3rd birthday party at a Bounce House and my limit was 15 kids, which was just enough for the kids in her daycare class and a few of my neighbors. I just bluntly said on my invitation that if siblings must attend, you will be responsible for paying the $8 or whatever it was for them to bounce. I had no intention of paying for everyone's brothers and sisters.

WOW. Speaking of tacky, who would bring the sibling to the party and expect them to be a guest when they weren't invited? You did the right thing by covering your butt. People just astonish me! I have 2 DD's and they are only one grade apart. In all these years, I have never and would have never dreamed of taking them both to one party unless they were both clearly invited.

 

[mello]

Hmm... I would probably have an appointment that day...

ETA:

My dd 8 went to a bday party today - I LOVED it, because although this was an affluent family - they had a totally normal birthday party - at their house, the kids made graham cracker houses with frosting and candy, and had a scavenger hunt in the neighborhood. I told my dh tonight how refreshing it was not to have another over-the-top, extravagant kids party like they've all gotten to be lately. I'm hoping more and more people will go back to the simpler, pin the tail on the donkey type parties, just so the expectations aren't so high as they've been lately... it's just too much to keep up with. (Just as an example of the expectations - last year we paid to take 8 little girls ice skating for dd's birthday, then back to the house for cake. One of the kids asked where the treat bags were. I felt awkward because I didn't do treat bags. I told her that skating was her treat! lol)

 

[bas71873]

WOW. Speaking of tacky, who would bring the sibling to the party and expect them to be a guest when they weren't invited? You did the right thing by covering your butt. People just astonish me! I have 2 DD's and they are only one grade apart. In all these years, I have never and would have never dreamed of taking them both to one party unless they were both clearly invited.

You'd be surprised. Happens ALL the time. I've had several sibs come to DD's parties over the years, but ALL of them have called me and asked if it's OK first and offer to pay their way (we did laser tag last year). Ended up that some invitees couldn't come, so I didn't meet with "max" number and the sibs got included in my total price because I had to pay anyway and I appreciated them calling first and offering. My best friend had 4 or 5 extra sibs show up at her DD's bowling party and she ended up eating the cost for those kids. She didn't say anything, I would have and offered to do it for her, but she wouldn't let me

I've even heard parents say that it's not "fair" for one sibling to go and other not. I don't get that. Are these sibs not allowed to have separate lives & friends? I have an only so have no experience with fairness amongst sibs and I have a brother so growing up, most things were separate just because of gender? My cousin has 2 kids, boy 4 and girl 2 and when they have bday parties, BOTH kids get gifts from the grandparents to be fair. That blows my mind!

 

[DAPford]

We are currently planning my DD sweet 16 and of course have been invited to others and one had a 5 dollar admission charge ( the invite said to cover the cost of the DJ) DD decided she did not want to go for that reason since she would have to pay it (we help pay for close friends/family birthday gifts but all others she has to pay out of her allowance ) most of the moms were just amazed at the request but some did go and pay the fee but it is not the norm This is DD last big party as over the years we have done big parties for her as her gift from us and have always paid for all invited guests (and parents when younger ) and have been really lucky to have not had any birthday horror stories.

 

[bas71873]

Hmm... I would probably have an appointment that day...

ETA:

My dd 8 went to a bday party today - I LOVED it, because although this was an affluent family - they had a totally normal birthday party - at their house, the kids made graham cracker houses with frosting and candy, and had a scavenger hunt in the neighborhood. I told my dh tonight how refreshing it was not to have another over-the-top, extravagant kids party like they've all gotten to be lately. I'm hoping more and more people will go back to the simpler, pin the tail on the donkey type parties, just so the expectations aren't so high as they've been lately... it's just too much to keep up with. (Just as an example of the expectations - last year we paid to take 8 little girls ice skating for dd's birthday, then back to the house for cake. One of the kids asked where the treat bags were. I felt awkward because I didn't do treat bags. I told her that skating was her treat! lol)

I finallly broke down and did at at home party for DD's 8th this past summer. I've always been hesitant to do an at home party because 1) I didn't want to have to clean before & after the party ; 2) you never know what summer weather will bring....heat, rain, both; and 3) I honestly just found it easier to pay to do it somewhere and let someone do all the work, but this year, DD was asking for AG Kinani and wanted a luau, so we did it and it was GREAT. I still think I spent a fortune, but that was my fault for going WAY overboard on the decorations, but we did it in the backyard, had just finger foods (goldfish, pretzels, chips & salsa and fruit bowl), and I made cupcakes and had ice cream cups, the kids played limbo, we had a pinata, the jumped on the trampoline, had a water balloon toss game and them we brought out the rest of the balloons and they just threw them at EVERYONE, we set up horse shoes and corn hole for the adults. It really was a lot of fun and I will DEFINATELY do a home party again.