Grumpy Old Man

[RllngRckBrw]

We are going to Disney in May for the third time and third year in a row. I want to know if anyone has run into the same or similar situation as this.

My wife (29), my son (5) and myself (26) are going to DW in May and taking my mother (I will be kind to her and not disclose her age). We all of us want my dad to come to but he is being stubborn. Saying he does not want to go. I want to share what I enjoy with him and want him to be there to experience it with my son (the two of them are extremely close) I want to talk him into comming but not pressure him because he will then go and try to have a bad time. Anyone gone through this and have any advice?

 

[littleteapot]

What does your mom think?

My first thought is never beg someone to come with you. I agree that he will look for things to be unhappy about and be more than happy to try and ruin your fun too.

Your son and you father can make their memories in other places.

 

[momz]

don't push it. Disney is a fairly expensive vacation. If it's not your cup-of-tea, then parting with the $$ to go can only cause bitterness and cast a shadow if unhappiness everytime the wallet opens. Also, Disney is not for everyone. believe it or not...there's more out there than just Disney.

 

[LISAVWL]

I can tell you from experience that talking someone into coming who truely does not want to go will only result in aggravation and frustration for everyone else.

Hopefully your Dad is not as "grumpy" as my Mom's husband. A few years ago we invited them to join us for a week in Disney. My Mom was thrilled & so were all our kids, he did not want to go. She talked him into it b/c it would "look bad if he stayed home". Mid way through the second day we were all wishing he had stayed home. He complained about all the walking, prices, bad food, weather -- you name it he found something to complain about 24/7!
Who knew people could be so grumbly in the happiest place on earth??!! Oh well, lesson learned. Now we invite her solo and we all have a magical vacation!

FWIW -- he can be grumbly on a good day so we should have known going into this, we thought we were doing a nice thing.

 

[mom2aredhead]

You'd likely spend waaaay too much time either worrying about him having a good time, or being frustrated if he still wasn't. He sounds like my father. I see magic, fun, and memories, my dad sees crowds, lines and $$$, so I don't even ask him anymore. He even brags that he "got through" our childhood without "being forced to go to Disney". Some people just "get it" and some don't. Forcing him won't do any good.

 

[Perditamarie]

I agree, don't push it ..... he may be inspired to join your next trip when he actually realizes what he missed and sees all the photos, hears the great stories and his grandson tells him too bad he missed it.

 

[debbiet1]

you could always get your mother to do what I did with my hubby. He isnt a Disney person but we are taking the kids for Christmas. He wants to see Epcot but thats it, so he's mumbling, grumbling about how he hates them parks. I set him straight before we go.. Any grumbling, mumbling.. A PEEP about it, I told him to smile and PRETEND he's enjoying himself or else he's cut off for a year! lol

 

[estherhead]

My dad isn't into Disney. He thinks my sister & I are psycho. And he & my BIL don't get along. That all being said, we've rented a house off site for a week several times & all gone together. He gets his own car and does MK one day with our kids so he can see the grandkids having a great time. It's not that expensive & it gives him a chance to see & share in our joy without everyone feeling the pressure of having a good enough time to justify the money.

I know people on these boards HAVE to stay onsite, but if you really want him to go, in my experience this is the way to do it. My dad wouldn't trade his days at Disney with his grandbabies for anything, but he would be cranky & make fun of us if he had to do day after day of it.

JMO. I have a feeling if you suggest my idea to him (and all the other great things there are to do in Orlando & having your own pool & eating more cheaply off site) he may not only say yes but even be a bit excited.

Look at houses on v r b o . c o m in the area. It's a fun way to kill some internet time & you may even find something you could be excited about.

 

[RllngRckBrw]

I agree, don't push it ..... he may be inspired to join your next trip when he actually realizes what he missed and sees all the photos, hears the great stories and his grandson tells him too bad he missed it.

Heres the thing. He is grumpy at all vacations we go on even when I was growing up. Then he goes and has a great time. He saw our pictures and heard my son tell stories from two years ago (Last year he wasnt invited because my wife and I alternate which fam we go with). He told me he regreted not going. Now he is being a pain again. I am not sure how to read him. I dont plan to force him into it, but I truly believe he would have a good time because he isalways asking to take my son to local amusment parks at home, he just seems to like to be difficult.

 

[reelmom]

Could it be he likes the drama and the attention he is getting from it? I have a family member who does this. We have learn to ignore the drama and she usually ends up coming along and having a great time once she is there.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I have a similar problem with my parents. My DH's parents are coming down with us in May for 5 days and I've asked both sets of my parents (they are both remarried) to come down for part or the rest of our trip, but they each give me reasons why they can't or don't want to go. I don't want to keep forcing the issue but I really would like to show them the place that we love the most. It's just really disappointing.

 

[sunkist]

That sounds just like our family. THis was the same situation we were in a couple of years ago going to DW. My Mom wanted to go but Dad could care less about it. Dad made up him mind that he was not going. He is very close to my son. Mom did not want to be away from Dad. She was worried something would happen to him. Mom went without him and she had a very good time and she was glad she went. As for my dad, him and my son are 2 peas in a pod and experience many things without being at Disney. Dad would have been very miserable, then that would have made us very miserable.

 

[RllngRckBrw]

thanks for all of the feedback everyone. I think I am gonna just let him know one last time that I and my son would love to have him come, but would also understand if he chooses not to come. That will probabally be the best bet.

 

[JodyTG]

My advice is don't try to talk him into it. If he's anything like my DFIL (put your own "D" word of choice there), he'll grumble about it, then say okay (at which point we make the ressies), and then a few weeks later say that he doesn't want to go. We found out later that it was DMIL (same "D" word) that talked him into it; she won't leave him alone to go with us. Talk about a DVC point nightmare, but that's another story altogether.

If he says he doesn't want to go, just leave it at that. If he says afterwards that he regrets not going you can always say to him what he probably said to you when you were younger...no use crying over spilled milk.

 

[RllngRckBrw]

I decided to let him do as he pleased. I told him last week that we would love for him to join us but that I dont at all want him to feel forced, and he proceded to ask me a bunch of questions about DW. Then he called me yesterday and told me they would join us. I am pretty sure he will have a good time. He will at least love having his grandson show him around his fav place.

 

[reelmom]

That's wonderful. I know that you will have a great trip and your Dad will be talking about it for a along time. Who knows, he may even get bit by the Disney Bug.