A man once said to a muppet, "Big city, hm? Live. Work, huh? But. Only peoples. Peoples is peoples. No is buildings. Is tomatoes, huh? Is peoples, is dancing, is music, is potatoes."
I say, "Disney World, hm? Ride. Walk, huh? But. Only beer and wine. Samples is samples. Is overindulgence, is beer goggles? No is bad dance moves. Samples is good. Party. Vacation. Live."
We leave our good free-beer times behind and set out on our next adventure. But being the boozin' type, we need a beer for that adventure, so DH stops and samples the inventory at the UK kiosk.
The next 15 to 20 are spent meandering around the UK maze, Kory posing and me shooting. Pictures, that is. With me, I need to clarify. At any given moment I could be shooting pictures, Jaeger Bombs, birds or semi-automatic weaponry (see below).
The redneck is skilled at hunting down its own food. The pizza guy never saw it coming.
Back to the present. A few snaps from the UK maze: I call this one
Tilted Head Walks with Beer.
I call this one
Picture of Fence.
I call this one
The Photographer Sucks so the Subject is Hitching a Ride
Well that was fun. For about a minute. So we get the hell outta Dodge and stop in France where we relive old times by ruining delectable Champagne with raspberry flavoring. Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game.
We chat up the cute French girl while she's pouring my glass. I ask a question that many may have, including you perhaps, "What is the difference between Champagne and Sparkling Wine?"
"Wella shampahnya is fram eh tynee velaghe en Frahceh. Ownlee rheel shampahnya come fram dis...how duu you say...sitee? Wee. Spaklee whyeen es no fram dere."
"Yes. I see. We like Johnny Depp, too. Well thanks!" I turn to Kory, "Gee, you think she'd take the time to learn the English language. Does she think the world revolves around France? The French sure are arrogant."
After we bid her adios, or was it sayonara, we came upon the following picture which I took for my DISfriend, alliecats. I met her a year ago when she posted her trip report (one full year late -- so don't y'all get on to me for being slow. I say we string her skinny a$$ up!) and mentioned that France has a good cheese plate. Well the only thing I love more than Kory is cheese. I love cheese so much I'd marry it and change my last name to Cheddar. I love cheese so much I'd leave teaching to become a dairy maid -- but only if I get to wear a sexy maid outfit (I don't know what being a dairy maid has to do with cheese; I just wanted to say the sexy maid outfit bit). I love cheese so much I'd wrestle in a vat of velvetta for a lifetime supply.
That's how much I love it.
But I digress. On my list of must-dos this trip was to order the cheese plate from France, in honor of my dear alliecats. Well I never did get around to it, so I'm sure glad I took this cheesy picture of the cheesy menu! Does that count? Huh? Huh?!
Next up, Morocco. We walk into Morocco; we walk outta Morocco. I wish they would spice the country up a little bit. Maybe the belly dancers should have their own stage like Off Kilter does in Canada. It could be billed as an attraction for dads. Moms would walk eager dads to a bench, sit them down and kneel beside. "Ok honey, I'll be back in 1 hour. Don't talk to anyone and keep your hands in your lap. And I mean that last part. Disney is a family place. Have fun! But not too much."
I call this one
A Hidden Mickey Even a Legally Blind Person Could Find.
Into Japan where we see the absolute height of laziness. And here I thought the Japanese had good work ethic.
Those crazies don't want to work. They just wanted to bang on those drums. All day!
USA is next and take a looksie at their artists' pavilion. Nice stuff, but way out of my price range. And my range being somewhere between 25 and 45 cents. I'm a stamp collector! But it's a small collection since every time I go to frame one, I have to mail my
Best Buy payment in.
This is me in USA. Probably forgot what I looked like, huh? I tell you what, I'm damn tired of looking at Kory pictures, too!
Kory goes to the USA beer cart and
samples their Sam Adams, while I look over our very important free (with admission) Disney reading materials. And this time I'm serious! The Food & Wine Festival's Schedule of Events. As I'm scouring for any events marked in English as
free of charge or in Italian as
free-a de charge-a or in Spanish as
free-o el charge-o or in French
le American cheapskate, Kory returns and points behind me. Right behind us is a free Sam Adams seminar! Well hot snot, honey, let's go get in line.
So we did. The line was uneventful, but the seminar was good times. Except (and this is a HUGE except) the beer was set out at least 15 minutes before they let us in. Let me repeat that. The Sam Adams folks (who spent 35 minutes going on and on about how much better their beer is compared to competitors) let our ice-cold beer sit out in the heat for 15 minutes (that's 900 seconds!) before we were allowed to enter. Then if that wasn't bad enough, we had to stare at it getting warmer and warmer while they blah, blah, blahed about whatever. And then to pour salt in our wounds, they made us eat dried hopps and barley! Ew!
But DH and I were buzzed, the speaker was kinda funny (and easy on the eyes, don't tell DH
), so good enough times were had by all.
It's getting late, it's starting to sprinkle and we are ready to nap, so we decide to go back to the room and relax before our dinner that night. On the way out I recognize a photo op from last year and make Kory repeat it.
This was last year.
Now this year. He's much happier, although my photography skills have not improved much.
We leave Epcot, buy some Heinekens for later, settle into our room and snack/nap our afternoon away.
3 hours and S's later, we're ready to go to dinner at Teppanyaki in Epcot. Kory grabs a Heiny for the walk (and a beer, too) and we make our way back to Epcot, which is quite easy from the BC. Gotta love a great location.
We walk. We walk and we talk. We walk and we talk and we take blurry pictures.
We walk and we talk and we take pictures of us stopping to tie shoelaces.
We take our time, absorbing all that dusk is at Epcot. I don't think I'm ever as happy in life as I am walking around the WS, favorite guy on my arm, with the sun setting and gentle breeze blowing. I don't know what it is, but I get the warm fuzzies every single time. Who needs heroin when you've got the World Showcase?
During our walk, I grab a belini from Italy and Kory grabs a Sam Adams from the USA (heroin? no. alcohol? yes!) and we check into Teppanyaki and sip our drinks til our name is called. I could go on and on about the screaming kids, their oblivious parents and the lack of space upstairs, so I will. I mean come on people! Don't let your kids jump on chairs, don't let them scream and carry on when other people are around, and certainly don't let each child take up four seats when there are 50 people having to stand. Don't act like your child is better than everyone else and definitely don't scream for them when it's time to go. No one wants to hear, "Bobby! Bobby! BOBby? BOBBY? BOBBBBBBEEEEEEEE! Where are you? COME ON! This lady said she is going to make you wash dishes if you don't hurry. COME! ON!"
So anyway, there is a god of some sort and we were not seated with those devil children (or devil parents). However, he does have a sense of humor because we were seated with a bunch of coke fiends. Coke the drink, that is. Next to us is another couple, who looked to be in their early 40s and next to them, a family with two teenagers. For drinks, I ordered an Ayame (Yeah, I got an umbrella!), Kory a Kirin beer (Boo, he didn't) and we shared a Sake (it came with a life-size umbrella for when you stumble out the door drunk, fall off the balcony and need to pull a Mary Poppins). For dinner, I think we ordered a Filet and Shrimp combo with fried rice.
While we wait for dinner, we wonder, if there is Bennifer and Brangelina...can we be called Allory? How about Korison?
Oh no, the Ayame has kicked in.
Kory leaves me for the restroom. I knew he was having an affair! What does she have that I don't? Clean pipes and a fresh smell? I politely chat up the neighbors, secretly judging their choice of Coke for dinner. If I had to drink Coke for dinner every night, I might just kill myself. Dinner without a cocktail is like being married to a hot guy that can't kill bugs or open jars for you. Close, but no cigar.
Alcohol. The one reason I may choose adoption.
Kory comes back from the bathroom, "Guess what?"
"Oh I love this game!" I exclaim. "You think we should go with Allory, too?"
"No. I just looked in the mirror and
damn I look good."
"Oh. Well my second guess was you ran into Carly Simon in the bathroom who said that song was about you."
I'm gorgeous! Ask anyone, even Carly Simon.
Our chef comes out and starts whipping up some food. Back home, the restaurant we like to frequent starts with a soup, salad, and shrimp appetizer, then makes you veggies, rice, your meal, hash browns/sprouts and dessert all for one price. It's so much food, Kory and I always share. In true Disney fashion, Teppanyaki serves half the food at double the price. But we were still able to share our plate and have food leftover. A great deal if you have a partner with a smaller appetite.
Masheishafishiemuluki - Japanese for green slop.
Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding. "Choo-choo! Main Street Railroad." Hehe, it never gets old.
Dinner is over and we bid goodbye to our very boring neighbors. I'm sure hanging out with two drunks was the highlight of their vacation, don't you think?
Now what? It's too early to go home and we have a nice buzz a'going, how will we spend our evening? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? But how will we the farm animals into the hotel room?
Oooooh, you were thinking of spending an evening Pleasure Island. Yeah, me too. I swear.
So we head back to the BC, walk through the lobby and out the front door to the bus stop for DTD. That part of the trip to come up next. It involves new friends, celebrity sightings, five too many Jaeger Bombs and obscenities with statues.
Til then, I will leave you with just one image. One that will stay with you for an eternity.
Part 7, page 32
I'm starting to think there was no trip, and this is a just a way to see how many posts we can get on this thread 
