Grrr, Seriously?!!!

[angryduck71]

lol, so you got some stranger to agree and it is ok now? strange need.

Wow. That's pretty mean. My immediate family is more important than others. I'd totally make sure my son got to his soccer game, too, before some silly baby shower. I don't even remember half the people who were at mine. (Oh, and don't let some stranger bully you into going to this baby shower either!)

 

[christypooh402]

Will they see your DH before he leaves at the end of the summer???

Also, it seems odd to me to change plans for a soccer game, yet you can't spare an afternoon for family? I know you may not be close to the new parents, but I assume other family members would be there??

We are planning on spending 4th of July weekend with them.
And, we had discussed a while back about leaving a couple hours later is DS team made it to the last game. And this is just starting a couple hours later, not interupting in the middle. Once we start, I want us to be completely about us.

 

[pigletto]

lol, so you got some stranger to agree and it is ok now? strange need.

What's funny is you wouldn't bother to say that if she had agreed with you Strange needs indeed.

 

[lustergirl]

I can certainly understand the need to want to spend time with your immediate family before your husband's deployment but what about his family? Are they going to see him before he ships off?

 

[edcrfv]

i can totally understand delaying for the soccer game, You made a commitment to the team and can't let them down. As for the shower, I'd respectfully decline. This is time you need with YOUR family before it is seperated for a year or more. If your vacation was elsewhere, you wouldn't be able to make it,so I wouldn't lose sleep over this one. If they really wanted you to come an invitation would have been mailed out, not just an assumption that you would come because you're near.

 

[angryduck71]

I can certainly understand the need to want to spend time with your immediate family before your husband's deployment but what about his family? Are they going to see him before he ships off?

If they really want to spend time with him, doing it at a baby shower for someone else doesn't seem like the best place in my opinion. Perhaps they could make an effort to go to him to see him!

 

[tjmj9801]

The fact that they've planned the shower based on when you'll be in town, basically telling you that you **WILL** attend is SOOO rude. The fact that you're on vacation plays a small role in this, IMHO.

I would mail a gift and politely explain that you already have ADR's for that date and time, which you will now plan...

I'm not usually an advocate to dodge family and lie, but it's just rude of them to pretty much tell you that you have to attend, and while you're on vacation, no less.

 

[lustergirl]

If they really want to spend time with him, doing it at a baby shower for someone else doesn't seem like the best place in my opinion. Perhaps they could make an effort to go to him to see him!

You are correct but I would take any chance I could get to see family, even if means a stupid baby shower as some of you are saying.
I don't think the family had any evil intentions. They probably found out that the OP's family was going to be in Disney World around that time and would like to see them if they can get the chance. They can't force her to come either way.

 

[angryduck71]

You are correct but I would take any chance I could get to see family, even if means a stupid baby shower as some of you are saying.
I don't think the family had any evil intentions. They probably found out that the OP's family was going to be in Disney World around that time and would like to see them if they can get the chance. They can't force her to come either way.

Honestly, I would too -- I love being around my family. BUT, then again, my family wouldn't do this to me.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't see the big deal. Maybe the sister would also like to see your DH before he leaves? Maybe they thought that they would actually be helping you out by having this shower while you're in the area?

I would go. It's just a few hours. Frankly, I'm surprised that they don't expect you to visit since you'll be nearby anyway.

 

[lustergirl]

Honestly, I would too -- I love being around my family. BUT, then again, my family wouldn't do this to me.

I come from a huge family and used to things like this I have friends in the orlando area who on facebook are always telling me: next time you are in disney come see me. I would probably take time out of my vacation to go see them.

 

[christypooh402]

I don't see the big deal. Maybe the sister would also like to see your DH before he leaves? Maybe they thought that they would actually be helping you out by having this shower while you're in the area?

I would go. It's just a few hours. Frankly, I'm surprised that they don't expect you to visit since you'll be nearby anyway.

We did talk about stopping by for a few hours before we came home, just not in the middle of the trip. And, as posted earlier, we are planning 4th of July with them so he will see everyone before he goes. We were also there in Jan and April. We actually see them alot. And, I would NEVER tell DH that he couldn't see his family. So, if he really wants to go, we will. But, he is pretty much leaving it up to me. Which tells me that he doesn't really care much either way because we do see his family alot. And, I'm sure their hearts were in the right place when they planned it. I do think we'll just see them on our way home. They live towards the east side, so we will practically pass them.

 

[Nissi]

Like the OP said, they were there twice already this year. So to say perhaps they want to see him before he deploys, well, they did.

Another vote for politely decline. Don't make up a lie like you have reservations for a luau, (unless you do!) but be honest and tell them if you had known sooner, you would have been there, but your schedule is tight and you'll have to sit this one out. The gift is in the mail.

Have fun, don't think about it and enjoy your trip!
And a HUGE thank you to your DH for serving our country.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

I feel your pain. My DH is active duty military too and our last two trips have been R&R between and after deployments and MY WHOLE FAMILY LIVES IN FLORIDA, just not us. So EVERYONE thinks we should "meet for dinner" or whatever. My problem is that once I'm on Disney property, I don't want to leave, I want to park my car and not get in it until we drive home, so I get why you think it's a big deal.

I think you should sent a gift and a card and let them know you're booked, sorry. I don't think that they meant to be malicious or anything, the worse they could be guilty of is a little thoughtlessness. I always tell everyone that if they want to meet up in the parks, we'd be glad too. No one ever wants to pay for a ticket, so they never do. I know it sounds mean, but we get together 4 to 6 times a year and always when we go to them, not the other way around. That's the bad thing about military life. Everyone expects you to visit them, but they don't make the effort to reciprocate.

It's funny, when we lived overseas I heard a lot of wishful "if only you lived closer we could see you all the time!" type sentiments. Now that we live "closer"...well you get the picture.

 

[KJF]

Personally, I would decline. They just mentioned it over the phone the other day & expect you to change your plans??? Nope - I wouldn't do it. Whatever happened to sending an invitation or giving you a heads up that they were planning on having it while you're down there???

 

[Planogirl]

We did talk about stopping by for a few hours before we came home, just not in the middle of the trip. And, as posted earlier, we are planning 4th of July with them so he will see everyone before he goes. We were also there in Jan and April. We actually see them alot. And, I would NEVER tell DH that he couldn't see his family. So, if he really wants to go, we will. But, he is pretty much leaving it up to me. Which tells me that he doesn't really care much either way because we do see his family alot. And, I'm sure their hearts were in the right place when they planned it. I do think we'll just see them on our way home. They live towards the east side, so we will practically pass them.

That sounds like a good idea. You can make up some reason why you can't get there on shower day but you'll be by later in the week.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

Personally, I would decline. They just mentioned it over the phone the other day & expect you to change your plans??? Nope - I wouldn't do it. Whatever happened to sending an invitation or giving you a heads up that they were planning on having it while you're down there???

KJF, your tag line is too funny. Only I didn't realize it wasn't cool anymore. I have a lot of "de-combing" to do!

 

[DaniB]

I guess I'm a rotten selfish person as well then. There's no way I would be attending. Not if it was my husband leaving for a year in a couple of months and it was our first family vacation ever.

That is rude to phone two nights before you go on vacation and announce out of the blue that they *arranged* the baby shower purposely on that day so you could attend. To me, getting that kind of phone call 2 days before your trip, comes across as being manipulative (at worse) or unthinking (at best).

I would decline and remind her your family already have vacation plans that are unable to be modified with 2 days notice. I believe you said your husband leaves at the end of summer, correct? In that conversation, arrange another date to visit when your family can spending time relaxing & visiting with her family before your husband goes. Bring the baby gift down with you then.

I find this funny in a way. One of my SILs consulted with my husband about the date for her wedding. She was worried about him not being able to walk her down the aisle as I was pregnant. She said it didn't matter as to the date. I kept telling everyone this baby was coming *early* (due 15th). He told her a few times it would be safer if she had the wedding at the end of April.

SIL ended up booking her wedding for April 3rd. Guess who woke up in labour in the witching hours of the 3rd? I felt bad for her, but we did warn her when she asked us...

I hope it works out well for you!

 

[christypooh402]

I feel your pain. My DH is active duty military too and our last two trips have been R&R between and after deployments and MY WHOLE FAMILY LIVES IN FLORIDA, just not us. So EVERYONE thinks we should "meet for dinner" or whatever. My problem is that once I'm on Disney property, I don't want to leave, I want to park my car and not get in it until we drive home, so I get why you think it's a big deal.

I think you should sent a gift and a card and let them know you're booked, sorry. I don't think that they meant to be malicious or anything, the worse they could be guilty of is a little thoughtlessness. I always tell everyone that if they want to meet up in the parks, we'd be glad too. No one ever wants to pay for a ticket, so they never do. I know it sounds mean, but we get together 4 to 6 times a year and always when we go to them, not the other way around. That's the bad thing about military life. Everyone expects you to visit them, but they don't make the effort to reciprocate.

It's funny, when we lived overseas I heard a lot of wishful "if only you lived closer we could see you all the time!" type sentiments. Now that we live "closer"...well you get the picture.

Haha, we heard that alot when we live near Seattle! Too bad you live so far away!
We always to there too. We've been twice just this year, and they've been here 3 times in the 4 years we've lived here! My sister comes when she can, but noone else in my family has either. It is ALWAYS assumed that we should visit. Why is that? Is it because we are the ones that moved away?

 

[Nissi]

That sounds like a good idea. You can make up some reason why you can't get there on shower day but you'll be by later in the week.

Don't lie to your family. Just tell them the truth. They'll understand.