Graduation Party Etiquette

[Zandy595]

My mom doesn't think this is tacky, but I do. What do you think?

My aunt is having a graduation party for my cousin and has asked the guests to bring food. She didn't do this for his older sister's party a few years ago. Money is certainly not an issue here. My aunt is making chicken wings and ribs, but the guests were asked to bring the rest.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Since it is a party where the cousin is being honored, I do find it a little tacky.

Now if it was just a "holiday" get together, then no.

 

[TEENEE]

I come from a large extended family. When we get together we expect to bring a dish to help out. Usually the family throwing the party will provide the main dish or meat and everyone else brings side dishes. If it is a smaller party the family throwing the party provides everything.

 

[daisyduck123]

I don't see anything wrong with people bringing a side dish or dessert.
We do this with our friends all the time.
Don't worry. I don't think your mom's friends/relatives will mind.

 

[goodeats]

I would think it depends on who is invited. In general I don't think it's tacky for family to help out, but if it's friends - TACKY.

 

[Zandy595]

... When we get together we expect to bring a dish to help out. Usually the family throwing the party will provide the main dish or meat and everyone else brings side dishes. ...

That's what we always do for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and other holidays. However, if it's a graduation party, where one person is honored and gifts are expected I don't think it's the same, at least not in my opinion.

 

[Zandy595]

I would think it depends on who is invited. In general I don't think it's tacky for family to help out, but if it's friends - TACKY.

It's not just family. We were not asked if we would like to help out. My other cousin (older sister of the grad) called me the other night and said my aunt would like me to bring a big salad to the party.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

It's not just family. We were not asked if we would like to help out. My other cousin (older sister of the grad) called me the other night and said my aunt would like me to bring a big salad to the party.

Could it be that maybe you make the best big salad around? (not being sarcastic) If I'm going to a family graduation party - I make an appetizer, but if is for a friend - I don't, let their family do it...

 

[sue1013]

I agree that it's tacky since the guests are expected to bring a gift. My family always brings something for holidays or just a get together but not for an event that you are expected to bring a gift.

 

[XYSRUS]

Yeah, I think it's tacky. If someone offers to help and bring something, then you can take them up on the offer. Other than that, I would never tell/expect someone to bring food to a party. My oh my, I like my guest to come and enjoy themselves and not have to worry about "their" dish. I've thrown tons of parties for a lot of people. You just need to get organized. It isn't difficult. I still go to parties where I'm asked to bring something, but I do cringe at the thought.

 

[DisneyDotty]

What has been the tradition for parties in your family? I ask this because whenever my mom has a party, her friends/family always bring a dish to pass. It's just expected, and people usually bring the same dish (for which they've become famous).
However, I try to avoid asking people to bring food to a party, and certainly never expect them to do so.
However, if someone offers to bring something, I usually say yes.

 

[4cruisin]

Yeah, I think it's tacky. If someone offers to help and bring something, then you can take them up on the offer. Other than that, I would never tell/expect someone to bring food to a party. My oh my, I like my guest to come and enjoy themselves and not have to worry about "their" dish. I've thrown tons of parties for a lot of people. You just need to get organized. It isn't difficult. I still go to parties where I'm asked to bring something, but I do cringe at the thought.

My thoughts exactly. Whenever dh and I throw a party, WE throw the party. That means we provide everything necessary for our guests to have a good time, food, drinks, music etc. I could not imagine asking or requiring guest to contribute in any way by bringing food or paying.

Just my 0.02 worth.

 

[sugarpie]

I think it's a bit tacky. I was actually invited to a wedding where they asked you to bring a dish to pass! We didn't attend, though.

I always bring something for the host of a party, (a bottle of wine, homemade cookies, etc.) and they can share it with their guests or keep it for themselves, but I think it's odd to expect your guests to bring food.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I think its a little tacky, considering its a party where gifts are expected. If it was a family get together then I think bringing a side dish is fine. For Christmas and Easter, my family each brings a dish they are "famous" for.

When I had my college grad party last year I invited everyone and I ordered and made all the food. I was throwing the party for myself so I never expected anyone to bring food. It was very appreciated though when friends brought the Death by Chocolate cake.

 

[disykat]

I'm used to bringing food and wouldn't think anything about it. I even went to a wedding where people brought food and didn't think anything - but it was people in their church family and family that brought food, not all the guests.

However, I do agree that asking all guests to bring food to a party that is a gift occasion could be considered tacky.

 

[EthansMom]

I wouldn't mind being asked to bring a dish for a family member's (or even a close friend's) party.

I might be slightly miffed if I was called and assigned something to bring, but so long as it isn't something terribly expensive or difficult to make, I'd bring it. Honestly, throwing together a big salad isn't that hard or expensive and takes some of the load off your family members, so I don't see it as that big of a deal. Now, if you'd been called and told to bring steaks for 40 people or something, my answer would be different.

Kind of along the lines of the "wedding gift" thread, but I might give a different amount of $ for a gift if I am attending a gift-giving function and I am bringing a dish. I wouldn't do so to be spiteful, but would just tend to give/spend more money if I was invited to a catered affair vs. a potluck party.

 

[DVC Sadie]

My thoughts exactly. Whenever dh and I throw a party, WE throw the party. That means we provide everything necessary for our guests to have a good time, food, drinks, music etc. I could not imagine asking or requiring guest to contribute in any way by bringing food or paying.

Just my 0.02 worth.

ITA! Please add my 0.02 to your 0.02.

 

[budbeerlady]

I think it is tacky for a graduation party! A family gathering is different, but this is a party to celebrate for 1 person.

 

[Keli]

Unless I was asked to bring some very expensive or hard to make dish I wouldn't mind at all but even though I wouldn't mind and I'd never say anything I would know it was tacky of the hosts to ask me in the first place.

Of course, like everyone else has stated, family holidays are different.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think it's tacky for someone to plan a party and then "expect" that their guests will bring side dishes and such. If someone offers, I usually say no. If they insist, I usually ask for a dessert.

A family get-together is a different story, or an occasion where it has been planned or understood that it is going to be a group participation pot-luck type event.