Good threads Gone Bad....

[ez]

I think its such a shame when an interesting and seemingly innocent thread turns ugly. Over the years, I'm afraid I have inadvertently started a couple myself. Any suggestions on how to keep this from happening?

 

[Pop Daddy]

threads take on a life of there own, I thinks its fun sometimes to get silly on a thread, but to each his own

 

[NHAnn]

My approach has been to ignore/not respond to "ugliness"...but sometimes you can't help it (or someone else can't help it)...
and as Pop Daddy said the thread takes a life of its own far different than what the orginal poster may have had in mind. Free speech and all that and different perceptions...what's silly to one may be ugly to another. You can't keep it from happening, you can only control your own responses, not anyone elses!

 

[Dan Murphy]

I have certainly seen a number of them like that over the years here, ez, but as Ann said above, conversation here, as in real life, ebbs, flows, evolves.

As long as the thread stays away from personal attacks on other posters, or the OP's or other's thoughts are not mocked and ridiculed, most often the thread should be allowed to naturally evolve. Threads that do get into personal attacks or mock and ridicule, should be closed. If the moderator folks on the board are not aware of them or not around, they should be made aware of them through the Report this post to a moderator link which is on every post on every board. That email alerts all the moderators of that particular board, the webmasters and Pete of that thread/post. At least they become aware of a potentially (at least in the mind of the person doing the reporting) that there is maybe a problem evolving. I report one every so often, and most often they apparently agree as they are often closed or a warning is given. One just last night in fact here on the CB. It's sort of like 'Neighbor Watch' in our own real life communities, neighbors watching out for the welfare of other neighbors.

I have seen threads here on the CB clearly evolve into a heated back and forth debate, no longer really appropriate for this board, but simply having evolved into a classic debate. Those should be moved, IMO, to the Debate board then, that is what it is for. As long as the thread stays within guidelines there it should remain open there, closed if it goes beyond guidelines there, (whatever they are there, not really sure, as I never go there). In recent times, I have most often seen those type of threads also closed, not moved. I think some of those threads still have some good 'life' and value in them, if given the proper environment, the Debate forum.

The main thing that always gets my dander up is when posters, any posters, are picked on, ridiculed, taunted or mocked. Drives me up a wall!!!! We are adults, let's act like it.


Long reply there, ez, but really a concern of mine always.

 

[Robinrs]

This has been happening for years...

To manage it is near impossible and to change human behavior is TOTALLY impossible.

The anonymity of a message board causes people to say to others things they probably would not say to the same person in person. I know that's been my case. Human nature is amazingly unpredictable.

I've found that I cannot share everything on this board. If you ask for opinion I think you should be prepared for the responses because they will COME whether you like it or not. As in life you have to weigh how much information you choose to make public because once it's printed, it is immediately subject to human scrutiny.

Sarcasm and criteria of what is funny sometimes comes across totally different to someone than what was meant by the OP. There is no way to judge intention in the written word, unless, of course it's blatant.

As Dan said, we can report and report but sometimes the damage is well done before anyone deletes, moves or edits it.

It's sadly the nature of cyberspace.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy

We are adults, let's act like it.

AMEN to THAT!

 

[larry's girl]

I agree - I don't think there is anything we can do to keep this from happening except to try not to contribute to it ourselves. Sometimes, if things get really bad, it helps to take a little break from the DIS. But, if you're like me, you can't stay away too long!! Most of the people here are not trying to cause a problem and the few that are will eventually show their true colors.

 

[Pop Daddy]

you know what I think, soon this is going to be a good thread going bad

 

[snoopy]

I could try and articulate my thoughts on this, or I could just say DITTO RobinRS, I totally agree with all that she said.

 

[Cruisin]

It really bugs me too when people are attacked for their opinions, and especially because their opinion goes against the majority. Some people on the boards can be really nasty and rude.
I try very hard to word my responses in a non-threatening, non judgmental way, but it really doesn't matter what and how you say something, someone will misinterpret it. That is one problem with this type of communication, you can not totally judge someone's "tone" with the written word.

 

[bumcat]

True sometimes having a different opinion gets some folks feathers ruffled. But sometimes you will have a person that states a different opinion and while stating their different opinion they will state lots of hate and criticism towards the op and then they go wah wah wah I'm being picked on because I'm stating a different opinion. They play the victim role over and over and over. It gets old...It's not the different opinion that is the main problem, it's the evil hateful way it is used against the op, IMO.
I am very open minded and I love diversity. How boring it would be if we were all the same saying the same thing over and over but I just dont get how certain posters can be so cruel while stating their different opinion and then claim they aren't? Surely I'm not the only one that sees this. Yes someway somehow they are able to do it over and over and over as they continue to play the wah wah wah I'm being picked on for my different opinion. I just dont get it.

 

[debster812]

ITA with bumcat. It is not the disagreement, it is the tone and delivery. It would be so boring if we all agreed 100%, but when the same handful spout the same vitriol over and over and hurt people over and over, I can see why "Good threads go bad". I try to stay out of it, but I don't know what has gotten into me the past week or so, but I am feelin' fiesty!

Usually I can ignore and move on, but there are some things that just strike a certain nerve.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I tend not to respond to posts where my views are vastly different from the majority of people on the board. I did that once and never again. I wasn't really attacked, but I was "questioned". And I felt that no matter what I said it wasn't going to help so I just quit responding.

Yes, it is great that everyone does not have the same opinions. But going against the majority and having to "stand up" for yourself on an internet board is not worth the hassle IMO.

 

[goofygirl]

It really bugs me too when people are attacked for their opinions, and especially because their opinion goes against the majority.

Yeah, when you have an opinion that goes against the grain, people will lash out at you, put you down, discount what you say, tell you to "shut up", and even read all kinds of crazy things into what you said. I think some people don't want to hear the truth about things (and the truth can be really ugly) so they get defensive and project things onto you.

But that's just a chance you have to take: speak up and get flamed, or be quiet and have everyone like you. I'd rather speak up and take the chance of having people dislike me.

 

[Poohbear123]

I stick to the Weather, and WDW and thats about it!

 

[Cruisin]

Poohbear123....I'm beginning to think that might be a real good plan too

Maybe not as much fun though.

 

[Lanshark]

There are ways to state opinions with out being extreme or confrontational. It takes a certain amount of restraint. There are also ways of making your stance known on a subject without destroying others in the process.

Bullies are everywhere including here at the DIS. I tell my kids that if someone else is belittling them it means they don't feel real good about themselves or the choices they've made. If they did they wouldn't feel the constant need to run everyone else down to justify themselves.

What they want is attention so ignore them. Unfortunately, sometimes they become so obnoxious that you just have to fight back. The trick is choosing when.