Going on a trip without your kids?

[dez1978]

It's important that adults be able to do things - fun things! - without their kids. I'm a single mom and as I said farther up, I would love to do a solo trip. I could ride all of the roller coasters my kids won't ride. I could go to restaurants that appeal to just me and not have to make sure there's something on the menu that each kid will eat (and of course they won't eat the same items ).

oh yes... The food... I'd love to try some of the places I've seen mentioned but I don't bc my kids won't eat anything there.

 

[JRennie]

My opinion is no I would not. I would not go on any trip without my children. I haven't been away from DD3 ever and only 1 night for DS5 which was the night DD3 was born. I had children to enjoy every moment with them and to experience things through their eyes. We go on many adventures big and small and each one of them have made wonderful memories that they talk about constantly. Of course when they were younger traveling wasn't always easy but that adds to the adventure (like the time our flight was cancelled and we drove 27 hours straight to get to the port for a cruise that was leaving with or without us, or the time taxing out on the runway a quiet plane erupts in laughter because my then 3 year old shouted that he had to go #2). They are at an age now where they understand the expectations are to have fun, be safe, and listen, and if they can't do that then we leave. I couldn't imagine going on a trip without them I would miss them too much. I would feel very guilty them knowing I was at Disney (or anywhere) without them. We all go or we don't go at all. I also think about if I was away without them and something happened how I would never forgive myself for not being available. Of course this is a long shot but you just never know. As far as time with just my husband, we don't need that. We don't need a week away from the life we created together to reconnect. That seems more like a nightmare than bringing toddlers to Disney. If you think they are too young to go and would somehow ruin the trip you should probably hold off. I am waiting for my kiddos to get older to revisit places DH and I went before they were born so they can appreciate them more and experience them fully (like Alaska for example).

I'm not trying to guilt you into a decision, and I know lots of people who do go on vacation without their kids. This is just my opinion since you asked. I am curious though why you think taking them would be a nightmare. Do you feel they are not well behaved enough, and if so can you practice with shorter adventures to say the zoo or local amusement park? Kids have meltdowns at Disney all the time. It's probably one of the few places where is totally normal and no one bats an eye. It's how you handle it that would set the mood for the trip.

My opinion is no I would not. I would not go on any trip without my children. I haven't been away from DD3 ever and only 1 night for DS5 which was the night DD3 was born. I had children to enjoy every moment with them and to experience things through their eyes. We go on many adventures big and small and each one of them have made wonderful memories that they talk about constantly. Of course when they were younger traveling wasn't always easy but that adds to the adventure (like the time our flight was cancelled and we drove 27 hours straight to get to the port for a cruise that was leaving with or without us, or the time taxing out on the runway a quiet plane erupts in laughter because my then 3 year old shouted that he had to go #2). They are at an age now where they understand the expectations are to have fun, be safe, and listen, and if they can't do that then we leave. I couldn't imagine going on a trip without them I would miss them too much. I would feel very guilty them knowing I was at Disney (or anywhere) without them. We all go or we don't go at all. I also think about if I was away without them and something happened how I would never forgive myself for not being available. Of course this is a long shot but you just never know. As far as time with just my husband, we don't need that. We don't need a week away from the life we created together to reconnect. That seems more like a nightmare than bringing toddlers to Disney. If you think they are too young to go and would somehow ruin the trip you should probably hold off. I am waiting for my kiddos to get older to revisit places DH and I went before they were born so they can appreciate them more and experience them fully (like Alaska for example).

I'm not trying to guilt you into a decision, and I know lots of people who do go on vacation without their kids. This is just my opinion since you asked. I am curious though why you think taking them would be a nightmare. Do you feel they are not well behaved enough, and if so can you practice with shorter adventures to say the zoo or local amusement park? Kids have meltdowns at Disney all the time. It's probably one of the few places where is totally normal and no one bats an eye. It's how you handle it that would set the mood for the trip.

I feel like the comment "I don't need a break from the life I've created" is incredibly judgemental. I feel like sometimes I do need a break, and nobody should be shamed for that. If I had to spend everyday with my children I would probably become a day drinker (kidding-sort of). Our lives are incredibly busy and often my husband and I are like ships passing in the night, adult time for us is important to our relationship, I would not feel guilty at all for leaving on a trip with him. Also, my kids are extremely well behaved but they wouldn't cope well with the long days and the flight is also 12 hours. I'm not going to spend 8k to listen to them whine and fight with me because they are over tired and over stimulated. Peace out kiddos! Cya in a week.

 

[CaleCakes]

I feel like the comment "I don't need a break from the life I've created" is incredibly judgemental. I feel like sometimes I do need a break, and nobody should be shamed for that. If I had to spend everyday with my children I would probably become a day drinker (kidding-sort of). Our lives are incredibly busy and often my husband and I are like ships passing in the night, adult time for us is important to our relationship, I would not feel guilty at all for leaving on a trip with him. Also, my kids are extremely well behaved but they wouldn't cope well with the long days and the flight is also 12 hours. I'm not going to spend 8k to listen to them whine and fight with me because they are over tired and over stimulated. Peace out kiddos! Cya in a week.

So if you already knew the answer and what you wanted to do then why bother asking for people's opinions and to share experiences on a public forum? I specifically said I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty, that I was giving my opinion because YOU posted asking. You commented in a few replied that it would be nightmare taking your kids, and in your original post you said young "whiny" kids, assuming you were talking of your own which is why I asked if you didn't think they would behave. I offered my experience that taking my kids to Disney et al is not a nightmare. I am sure lots of people lives are busy, you don't know mine and I don't know yours. Didn't come for a fight but I will defend my response.

 

[JRennie]

So if you already knew the answer and what you wanted to do then why bother asking for people's opinions and to share experiences on a public forum? I specifically said I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty, that I was giving my opinion because YOU posted asking. You commented in a few replied that it would be nightmare taking your kids, and in your original post you said young "whiny" kids, assuming you were talking of your own which is why I asked if you didn't think they would behave. I offered my experience that taking my kids to Disney et al is not a nightmare. I am sure lots of people lives are busy, you don't know mine and I don't know yours. Didn't come for a fight but I will defend my response.

It's not the fact that you voiced your opinion, it's the rude , shaming way you chose to present it. Anywho, have a lovely day.

 

[dez1978]

It's not the fact that you voiced your opinion, it's the rude , shaming way you chose to present it. Anywho, have a lovely day.

That was my thought too. Like it’s cool to say nope couldn’t do it. But the whole I had kids to enjoy every moment with them was judgy and that’s what I dislike. It’s cool to not want to go on a trip without your kids but to make it sound like I’m better than you bc I enjoy every second with my kids and you don’t... I’m done with mom shaming. Also I don’t know any parent who enjoys every moment of parenting

 

[CaleCakes]

It's not the fact that you voiced your opinion, it's the rude , shaming way you chose to present it. Anywho, have a lovely day.

My comment was about the life I'VE created, and it said nothing about your life. I have many things I'd like to say to you, but I won't because it's not my place. You clearly have no problem judging me with you comment about me being "rude" and "shaming". You turned my comment into "mom shaming", not me. Everyone is so sensitive I should have known better to even engage with you.

Again, don't ask on a public forum if you don't want people's honest opinions and experiences.

 

[tinkerjo]

Thanks for this! I feel like just because I choose to spend 5 days away from my children doesn't make me a "bad mom" like some of the responses imply. It's our ten year anniversary and I want to spend some time with just my hubby while my kids get to go to grandma and grandpas House and get spoiled. My Dad passed away a while back and my mom has so many regrets about things they waited to do, I'm not going to have those regrets.

I don’t think anyone implied your a “bad mom” but you did ASK for opinions and your first post kinda implied that you knew there would be a mixed bag of responses. I am an older mom with 3 grown kids and a young teen. We were the parents that wanted to take our kids on vacations with us. Sure, we had short weekend trips or an occasional night out but for us big vacations were family time. (Like I said, we did Disney for our 25th anniversary by ourselves so it’s not like we never did it) At least we are honest with our opinions here. (And that’s all they are, opinions) BUT If you think family and friends won’t judge you for going to a kids theme park without your young kids who have never been to WDW, you are probably mistaken, they just won’t say it to you. They will say it behind your back. People can be mean. Maybe you don’t care, but I think you were asking so you could justify your decision. There are all sorts of parents out there and although it wouldn’t be my decision to go without my kids, It doesn’t make you a bad mom if you do. I’m sure your kids are loved and cared for, But please respect others opinions if you are the one that asks. Condolences on your dads passing.
BTW- did you ever think about inviting your mom and taking the kids? She may really benefit from a vacation herself and still spending some quality time with the kids. (While you can get some alone time each day with DH) I know I watched my 3 small grandkids while myDS and DIL went on vacation for a week and I was the one miserable!!! Watching small children that are not your own is taxing when you are not used to it. Even though I love them dearly, it was too much on me.

 

[ENJDisneyFan]

I feel like the comment "I don't need a break from the life I've created" is incredibly judgemental. I feel like sometimes I do need a break, and nobody should be shamed for that. If I had to spend everyday with my children I would probably become a day drinker (kidding-sort of). Our lives are incredibly busy and often my husband and I are like ships passing in the night, adult time for us is important to our relationship, I would not feel guilty at all for leaving on a trip with him. Also, my kids are extremely well behaved but they wouldn't cope well with the long days and the flight is also 12 hours. I'm not going to spend 8k to listen to them whine and fight with me because they are over tired and over stimulated. Peace out kiddos! Cya in a week.

I agree with you that the poster you quoted was over the top in that response. NO ONE should feel bad for wanting some adult time and a break from the duties of being a mom. It is important for your sanity as a mother, and also incredibly important for your marriage.

That said, I think it was this part of your original post that triggered some of the responses you're getting -

To be completely honest, taking kids that young to Disney world sounds like the trip from hell

Obviously you're entitled to feel that way, but I think most of us (especially those of us on these boards) can't relate to that. We love Disney and we love taking our kids to Disney, at most any age. While I wouldn't hesitate to take an adult trip to my favorite place (and I have!), I also wouldn't do it in lieu of a trip with my kids.

 

[Lemurone]

That's kind of the age I was thinking. Taking them somewhere this young would just be a legit nightmare.

Or they’d have the time of their lives? Are they really that bad that you can’t take them anywhere? This is crazy to me. Nothing against solo trips but they aren’t that young for Disney.

 

[JRennie]

Or they’d have the time of their lives? Are they really that bad that you can’t take them anywhere? This is crazy to me. Nothing against solo trips but they aren’t that young for Disney.

They will have the time of their lives in a few years. I'm not flying with 2 toddlers for 12 hours and dragging over stimulated over tired kids through the parks. Nope - no thank you. They aren't bad at all, I just know they won't have the mental or physical stamina to cope.

 

[sponica]

They will have the time of their lives in a few years. I'm not flying with 2 toddlers for 12 hours and dragging over stimulated over tired kids through the parks. Nope - no thank you. They aren't bad at all, I just know they won't have the mental or physical stamina to cope.

Eeek 12 hours? Is that one way? I'm going with a 5 year old and an almost 2 year old next year, but we're a 3 hour flight non stop....and we've been there once with the older kiddo. So we sort of have a game plan.

But anywho after being trapped in my home from Thanksgiving to early February with my husband, a 4 year old and a newborn, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY support an adults only trip whether to Disney or anywhere. Like I said upthread if my husband and I could swing food and wine this year (without kids) we totally would.

 

[JRennie]

Eeek 12 hours? Is that one way? I'm going with a 5 year old and an almost 2 year old next year, but we're a 3 hour flight non stop....and we've been there once with the older kiddo. So we sort of have a game plan.

But anywho after being trapped in my home from Thanksgiving to early February with my husband, a 4 year old and a newborn, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY support an adults only trip whether to Disney or anywhere. Like I said upthread if my husband and I could swing food and wine this year (without kids) we totally would.

It is one way! It's not constantly on a plane but jumping from airport to airport with layovers etc. It works out to 12-16 hours. Enjoy your trip!