Godparents

[BeckyEsq]

DH and I were just asked to be godparents again last night (this will be our third godchild). So while I have it on my mind, I am interested in hearing others' opinions about the role of a godparent.

If you are a parent, how did you go about choosing your child's godparents (if they have any?) What do you expect from or hope for from the godparents? Have they ever done anything as godparents that you really liked (looking for ideas here)? What about nice gifts from godparents?

Same question about your own expereince as a godchild with your own godparents.

If you are a godparent, what do you see as your role in the child's life? How do you go about carrying it out?

 

[kilee]

Honestly, we don't even see my son's godparents more than once every 2 years. I was raised catholic and wanted my son raised the same way. Unfortunately, not many of my family members or friends were practicing catholics. So, ds's godparents were chosen more because we needed a practicing catholic per our church for him to be baptized.

Now my own godparents were and still are very close family members. My mother picked them based on that is who she'd want to raise us if she weren't here thing. Also, they were someone she felt would help instill good values and such.

Now, I am a godmother to my only neice. I do not know why my sister asked me. I'm assuming it's because her and I are so close. As well, as I've been incredibly close to my neice from the day she was born.

 

[justjulie]

In my case my children's godparents are also their guardians which are two different roles. It is my understanding that, as a godparent, you accept the role of sponsoring a godchild at baptism and agree to raise that child in the faith their parents choose (whether it's yours or not). As a guardian, I am responsible for the ultimate care of the child, body and soul, should anything happen to the parents. My girlfriend pulls double duty as she is godparent AND guardian to both my boys. It is a big responsibility and one I did not take lightly in choosing her. I chose my children's godparents/guardians because they were the ones who had the same parenting beliefs I did, disciplined in the same manner and love my children as their own.

 

[kpm76]

I suspect the duties/responsibilities of godparents vary from family to family. In our family, godparents are very important and chosen very carefully. The intent is to pick people whom you think will be good spitirual role models for your child. In addition, we tend to spoil godchildren at Christmas, their birthday etc. My godparents are my mom's sister and my dad's brother. Both are wonderful and I tend to be closer to them then maybe others in the family. We have a very large family (mom has 10 siblings and dad has 7 and I am the oldest of 4) and my aunt and uncle asked me to be their son's godmother. I was really touched because obviously they had lots of choices but picked me My godson was one of the ring bearers in my wedding and we try to take him our for day trips or have him over to our house to spend time together. I always go overboard with gifts but that certainly is not a requirement it's just me. He's an only child and his parents recently divorced so I really try to protect him. HTH!

 

[stinkerbelle]

my godfather is my father's brother...who didn't even come to my wedding...so that explains THAT relationship.

I'm a god mother to one of my friend's daughters. And I'm rather disgruntled about it.
Hear me out.
Her 2 children (7 and 5) attend a catholic school...my friend was raised catholic, but never really has the time to go to church/was never confirmed. Well the 7 year old apparently was being "taunted" at school by other children because she wasn't baptized.
So my friend had her daughter baptized last summer.
I'm godmother to the youngest, gave both of them beautiful gold crosses, and taught my goddaughter that "we do not fart in church".

I doubt she OR her children has stepped foot in a church/attended a mass since.

Now - I dont' attend church every week either...but at least I don't "play the part" as I felt this turned out to be.

so - to answer your question...I've taught my goddaughter not to fart in church.

 

[MBeds]

.
so - to answer your question...I've taught my goddaughter not to fart in church.

And that's a good thing...

 

[liamsaunt]

I am godmother to our nephew, DH is godfather to our niece. We are "honorary godparents" to the one we are not the official godparent for. I think in our case it was a formal way of recognizing the closeness we have with my sister, and the recognition that we would be closely involved in the children's lives. I do not believe that there are any formal expectations, and I don't think that being their godparents has specifically increased our involvement--we would have been very close and involved anyway. We see them at least once a week, buy them things they need/want, and take them on vacation with us when it is appropriate.

We love our niece and nephew very much. We consider them our "honorary children." As they once said: "You may not have any borned children, but you have us!"

 

[BeckyEsq]

My godfather died when I was 9 and I don't really remember him. My godmother is my mom's sister, my aunt, and she has been a wonderful godmother. She has definitely been a role model in her lifestyle and in raising my cousins, and I see her in church almost weekly even to this day. She was there for me at every important moment in my life, from my baptism, to my communion, to my confirmation (she was my sponsor), high school and college graduation, and on to my wedding day. She always remembers my birthday, and has given me many religious gifts in the past, such as a nice set of rosaries for my confirmation.

My cousin asked me to be her son's godson last year. I was so honored! I bought him his outfit to wear and also a nice picture frame and a little photo album that says "Bless This Child" that can hold pictures from all of his sacraments. I make sure to remember him on holidays with at least a card. For his first Easter I got him a cross for his wall with his name on it. For his birthdays I plan to always get him a savings bond in addition to some other smaller gift (toy or clothing). My cousin sends me updates on him when he goes to his doctor's appointments and always sends me pictures of him. I try to make sure I visit him every other month or so so he will know me.

DH and I recently became godparents to my niece. We do things pretty much the same way I do for my godson.

I definitely look forward to playing a role in all of my godchildren's lives, even after they are adults.

My parents have several godchildren and they have set a good example to me. I will say that there have been times when their godchildren have done things in life that my parents have felt obligated to speak to them about (such as the importance of being married in church). I think that would be hard to do but I do think that is the proper role for a godparent.

In my family, being a godparent has no relation to being a potential guardian.

My priest has spoken about the role of a godparent before and he stressed the importance of praying for your godchild, and of setting a good example for them by attending mass, partaking of the sacraments, etc.

 

[momsgoofy]

Interesting question as this just came up in conversation with a friend...my DS (6wks. shy of 14) will be a baptismal sponsor (Lutheran church's = Godparent) on Saturday for his newest cousin. He was asked by his favorite cousin (my nephew) and his reply was "it's the least I can do"...DS has really been pretty close to this cousin even though there are 10 years difference in their ages. However, I suspect it will be more of symbolic role rather than an active role as the parents (my nephew and his wife) aren't super strict when it comes to religion.

Now, as for DS, himself...well, when he was born I wasn't even baptized so it didn't matter one iota to me, but his father (my ex) wanted to please his mother (DS's grandma) so much that he insisted DS be baptized into their church and that his parents (DS's grandma and grandpa) would be his baptismal sponsors. Well, in this situation, DS's grandma took this role very seriously...to the point of attempting to take control of DS's religious upbringing even if it was in disagreement with me...DS's father hasn't been involved in DS's life since DS was 10mos. old. The entire situation forced me to go back to court and have it spelled out that the grandma had no right to do or decide anything concerning DS...pretty ugly.

And, then there is me...I was baptized as an adult 5 years ago. I went through RCIA to join the Catholic church, so the RCIA team chose a sponsor (someone from our parish) for me that was well matched...similar ages, family dynamics, had gone through RCIA herself a few years earlier. It was very nice to have her to walk beside me on the journey. But, I also was able to chose my godmother...I wanted my future MIL for that role. I really wanted to have someone from my family as my godfather, my Great Uncle, but unfortunately his health was not good and he wasn't able. My godmother/MIL and I have a wonderful relationship and she is always there for me in both capacities...as MIL and godmother. My sponsor from the church and I see each other from time to time at parish functions, but since DH and I no longer live in the town anymore, it' a bit difficult.

So, I'd say each case is different and what would be most important based upon my personal experiences is...If you are asked to be a godparent/baptismal sponsor know exactly what you are getting into and what is expected of you. Or if you are the parents asking someone to be a godparent, then be sure to tell the potential person what you do expect of them.

 

[ashlynn_j_m]

My godparents are my moms sister and when i was young and lived close to her we were very close, but i haven't seen her in about 15 years. My godfather was my dad's best friend, and i still see him, when i was young, i was spoiled by him, but now that i'm older come to think of it, i don't get anything....

My Daughters godparents are my sister, who is EXTREMELY close to my daughter. And her godfather is my sisters EX boyfriend, the reason I chose him, was he was the closest male in her life at the time, he was there for her birth, the first time she was up sick all night (we all camped out in the living room with her), and her only "uncle". She does have another uncle DBF's brother, but thats a whole other story....she still to this day calls him Uncle Kevin, and he and my sister have been broken up 6 years and he's married now w/ a child of his own....He's not around as much as he use to be, but still makes an effort to come see her....I couldn't have picked a better guy...

 

[Buckalew11]

so - to answer your question...I've taught my goddaughter not to fart in church.

I'm sorry but something about your username and this post make me


My godfather was chosen to help to raise me in my faith and, God rest his soul, he was a wonderful mentor. My godmother was just a friend of my mom's. I don't even know if she went to church. I always thought having godparents had something to do with if my parents died, I'd go live with one of them (they were not a couple). I hoped and prayed that nothing would happen to my parents because I DID NOT want to go live the woman my parent's chose for me.

 

[BeckyEsq]

And, then there is me...I was baptized as an adult 5 years ago. I went through RCIA to join the Catholic church, so the RCIA team chose a sponsor (someone from our parish) for me that was well matched...similar ages, family dynamics, had gone through RCIA herself a few years earlier. It was very nice to have her to walk beside me on the journey. But, I also was able to chose my godmother...I wanted my future MIL for that role. I really wanted to have someone from my family as my godfather, my Great Uncle, but unfortunately his health was not good and he wasn't able. My godmother/MIL and I have a wonderful relationship and she is always there for me in both capacities...as MIL and godmother. My sponsor from the church and I see each other from time to time at parish functions, but since DH and I no longer live in the town anymore, it' a bit difficult.

So, I'd say each case is different and what would be most important based upon my personal experiences is...If you are asked to be a godparent/baptismal sponsor know exactly what you are getting into and what is expected of you. Or if you are the parents asking someone to be a godparent, then be sure to tell the potential person what you do expect of them.

That is a nice story -- you hear so many bad MIL / DIL relationships it is nice to hear you liked yours so much you asked her to be your godmother!

 

[BeckyEsq]

My godparents are my moms sister and when i was young and lived close to her we were very close, but i haven't seen her in about 15 years. My godfather was my dad's best friend, and i still see him, when i was young, i was spoiled by him, but now that i'm older come to think of it, i don't get anything....

My Daughters godparents are my sister, who is EXTREMELY close to my daughter. And her godfather is my sisters EX boyfriend, the reason I chose him, was he was the closest male in her life at the time, he was there for her birth, the first time she was up sick all night (we all camped out in the living room with her), and her only "uncle". She does have another uncle DBF's brother, but thats a whole other story....she still to this day calls him Uncle Kevin, and he and my sister have been broken up 6 years and he's married now w/ a child of his own....He's not around as much as he use to be, but still makes an effort to come see her....I couldn't have picked a better guy...

Wow, that is great that he has continued to try to see his goddaughter. I know unfortunately many of my cousins have lost godparents to divorce.