Giving Up a Disney Wedding :( :)

[LeesyUD]

So my fiance and I had decided to do a Disney wedding and were certain that is what we wanted. However, realizing that many people would not come and I would only have about 20 peopple rather than over 100 we started looking at places around home. We found a place that we love and the prices are good and the wedding coordinator they have is wonderful. But part of me keeps wondering if we are making the right decision. Is there anyone that had decided on a Disney wedding but ended up doing a wedding at home? Did you regret your decision? We are planning on having a bit of a Disney theme - When you wish upon a star, and are having fun planning it (even though its not until October 2008. I am hoping to walk down the aisle to "when you wish upon a star" if I can find the sheet music for a violinist to learn - but no luck so far. We found some great ideas for favors and things, but sometimes we wonder if we are making the wrong decision. Any advice would be appreciated. We haven't signed our contract yet but are getting ready to. And if anyone has any suggestions for Disney themed wedding at home that would be great too.

 

[JLS]

Speaking from experience planning a destination (although non-Disney) wedding, I think that your wedding should be exactly what you want and where you want it. Are you sure that nobody would be able to come if you planned it far enough in advance? Did you actually start talking to people about it and tell them its a year or more away, or was this based on a comment made by someone in your family saying "oh, none of those people would be able to go to Orlando." When you have a destination wedding, you have to accept that some people either won't be able to afford to go, can't take the time off, or will choose not to go. I believe that people who really care about you will make every effort to be there (that does not mean that all would be able to go, of course, but they would make the effort). If members of your immediate family or you best friends have legitimate reasons that they could not travel, etc., then I think it is worth considering a wedding closer to home. But IMO, you should not give up your dream wedding destination because some aunts, uncles, cousins and friends of parents, or less close friends of yours, could not be there. You can't plan around everyone. Even with a wedding at home you will find that some people won't be able to make it. You cannot please everyone, so do what you really want if you can make it work.

 

[disneygirl_wdw]

I thought I would have the same problem. No one in my fiance's family liked to travel, yet alone spend money on a vacation. After talking to them there is only his sister's family that couldn't come. We actually hit our max attendance for an intimate/escape wedding, which is one of the reasons for moving to the Swan. I didn't think anyone other than his parents would come, but I guess I was wrong. I think if you give people an advanced warning more would go along with it. Honestly, just do what makes you all happy. That's what we are going to do. If a Disney World wedding is your dream than go for it. You could always have a reception once back home for the people that couldn't make it and show a video of the wedding, which is what we are doing once we get back.

 

[Cricketmint]

I am going through the same thing too! I kept getting anxiety thinking "no ones going to come to my wedding!" So I decided to have the wedding in my home town, but then through all the planning I realized I wasn't happy, and I just got more annoyed as I tried to pick a location for my ceremony & reception. Then I thought this really isnt what I want. and this wedding is only really about two people, DF and myself! It has been a long time dream for me to get married in Disney, and I didnt want to give that dream up just to make everyone else happy. as rotten as that sounds. but its true. This is your day. DF and I are planning a october 2008 wedding, we figured if we give people a good amount of time then chances are they might come. like it was said earlier in the thread, the people who are most important in your life will be there, all that matters on that day is you and DF's happiness!! After i talked it over with my mom we decided, we would send everyone we wanted to join us a STD and see what the over all reception was, we know some wont come, but are really hopeful that they will. we are looking into different airlines to see if they give discounts for group fair, this might sweeten the deal a little!! once we get our DFTW web site up and running people will have a better idea of whats going on and pricing. plus if not everyone you would like to share your day can makke it, do Videography and throw a bash at home for everyone who missed it and show your video!! I hope that helps you!! Good luck!!!

 

[Belle Amy]

We were scheduled to be married at Disney in November of this year. We had signed contracts and sent our deposit. I had already started sending save the dates to my guests when we decided to move the wedding date up and have a home wedding. Our reasoning was a little different, as we only live 45 minutes to Disney and weren't concerned about guests being able to make it, but about spending the money and not getting to invite all the people that we wanted. (We were an intimate) I do have to admit that I still have a lingering feeling about not having the Disney wedding I drempt about so often, but I'm making my home wedding incorporate all the things that I loved about the Disney event, with even more flexibility.

I know my case was a little different, but we did cancel our Disney wedding for our own reasons, and I don't have any regrets about it. Do I wish I could have the grand Disney wedding? Yes. Did my home wedding live up to my expectations? I don't know, I'll tell you in 5 days!!

Besides, there is always a vow renewal in a couple years!!

 

[B2B-2008]

I also had to make a decision like this but mine was the opposite to yours. I had already booked a wedding in England for 150 guests but I was just not happy as all I had every wanted was a Disney wedding. The only reason we were going to have our wedding in England was because my Mum and Dad said they would never get on a plane to Florida. And out of all the 150 people that were going to be invited the only people I really cared about being there was my mum, dad and my brother and his family. Not forgetting my H2B. My mum saw how unhappy I was getting and we have since cancelled the big bash and are in the process of booking my dream Disney wedding.

I would say go with your heart, you want to be happy when planning one of the biggest days of your lives.

 

[Natalie Scales]

All I would say is try and follow your heart, people will always continue to change their minds and even cancel at the last minute, all I can think is to imagine how gutted I'd feel if I gave up on my dream for someone else other than my DF and then for some reason they couldn't make it or said "That would've been a lovely idea, we would've come........"
Follow your dream, once people realise that's what you really want they'll be supportive.

 

[Beep]

I always wanted a Disney wedding but my H2B was dead set against it, and my parents wanted to invite all the family and the world. I had a beautiful wedding in the UK, with over 200 guests and had a lovely time.

When a little old lady walked up to me and announced that she was great aunt vera and hadn't seen me since she had changed my nappy (!) I realised that, although it was a fantastic wedding, I really wanted a Disney wedding with the people that mattered to me. I felt that I had compromised my dream for what other people wanted.

So, 15 years later with a new H2B (hopefully, I haven't asked him yet!) who is as excited about Disney as I am I, I know that in a couple of years I will be having the Disney wedding I always wanted.

Go with your heart. If you really want the Disney wedding then have it, because it will probably live with you for evermore if you don't. You can always hold a reception at home for the people who couldn't go and show them the DVD - get a cake too and that will keep them happy!

Good luck to you, whatever you decide x

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

pretty much everyone has summed it up perfectly.

go with what YOU want!

We did an intimate and only my mom & her ex came & it was perfect.

DHs family is SUPER huge & weddings dont just go to the invitee, his family has a thing about telling all their friends & family & then they tell their freinds & family & a party that was for 100 turns into 200+ with about 100 uninvited guests....NO WAY!!
there were other reasons we did a DFTW, like wanting a house.

ok...now my girlfriend had a full blown, over budgeted, crazy at home wedding & she did it the way her mom wanted.
I thought it was beautiful & alot of fun, but to this day she tells me "It wasnt my wedding, it was my moms"................Don't do that to yourself.........do what you two want.
I sense that you really want a DFTW & you are only doing an at home to please people........why is it wrong to want to please yourself....i say go for your dream!!!!
GL

 

[figmentfan814]

We kind of struggled with some of the same issues that you are having about what guests would actually make it down for our wedding. However, since letting everyone know what we wanted to do our original estimate of around 35-40 guests has now jumped up to almost 70. We ended up having to switch reception sites because more and more people wanted to come down for the wedding. Our coordinator told us that the guest lists tend to drastically increase because once people hear about it being at Disney they usually want to come and in our case she was correct.

We are still having an at-home reception. It will be a casual affair and will have close to 300 people there. To me, it was important to have a smaller event (for our actual wedding day; 300 would have been overwhelming) with the people that mattered most to me and in our case the ones that we wanted to be around us on our special day were more than willing to make the trip. After all who could turn down the opportunity to have an excuse for a Disney vacation?

 

[4luvofthemouse]

We originally booked our wedding at Disney 3yrs ago. But my
DH's family gave us nothing but a hassle with it, so we canceled the wedding.
The following year we started to plan a wedding at home and it just got totally
out of control! Too many people butting in making sure we invited certain people,
trying to pick out our food, just butting in where they didn't belong.
So once again we canceled the wedding.
We were so upset and didn't really know what to do so we waited a bit before
we made new plans.We finally decided to go back to Disney, we would only invite
immediate family with Aunts & Uncles to be polite.
Well after everybody complained about it the first time
everyone is coming and they are all excited! (minus the evil MIL & SIL)
We as so glad that we stuck with our first choice!

It doesn't matter if your wedding is big or small, it's an important day to the two of you
and you should do what's in your heart!
And from previous experience if you start doubting your choices
then maybe they aren't the right ones.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

Have you thought about have an intimate wedding at disney for just close friends and family and then doing a big reception at home later on for everyone who couldn't make it? I know several people who have done that and were so happy with that decision. But like everyone said, it is ya'lls wedding. You want to be happy. You aren't going to always be able to have everyone there, so go with what makes you happiest.

 

[LeesyUD]

Thank you for all your replies. I was so set on doing it in Disney yesterday, but me and my fiance weighed the pros and cons of home vs Disney. In the end I think we are still going to have a wedding at home bc a huge part of me has always wanted a big wedding. My fiance and I have talked about however doing a vow renewal in a few years with my close friends and family. I think in the end this will work about better. One of the biggest parts of this decision is that I have high anxiety problems. And I know that it would be alot of stress worrying about how many people would come and worrying about minimums, etc. Also I have an Aunt who is terminally ill and I want her and her family to be there. She may not make it until next year and I know the rest of her family will not be able to come if it is Disney and I really want them to be a part of it. My grandmother also wouldn't be able to come bc she is old and not willing to fly. They are all that are on my mother's side of the family and I want them to be there. At home I do not have those stressers bc I know who would come and who wouldn't. And plus we found a really great place to have the wedding, and they have a really nice little courtyard with a fountain where we will have the reception so I will still have my outdoor reception I wanted. Thank you for all the responses and support but at this time I think it is the best thing to do. And I know I will be very happy having a wedding at home as well. If I find mysellf having too many regrets then I can always cancel the conract and loose my deposit which isn't too bad. But right now I think I have too many questions about a DIsney wedding. Thanks again!

 

[baby1disney]

That's what we're doing. I have a huge family and I know that they wouldn't be able to make it down to Orlando. Besides, since our wedding is beach themed, we found a resort that's located on the beach and it's perfect!!! I didn't even think about a Disney wedding until I seen a couple down there and asked my fiancee about it. He was like they do weddings all the time down here. But, if I can make my wedding a Disney on the beach and have it be alot cheaper, then that's what I'm going to do.

My parents offered to pay for half of the reception so that'll cut down alot of money right there. We figured that with all of the cost we're looking between 12-17,000 which is what we budgeted for. So I'm really happy. Plus, we're making a lot of the favors and bouquets ourselves. So, that cuts down even more.

If you're a family person and that means more to you than having a wedding at Disney, than do that. You can always bring Disney home to you!!
But, if you really want a Disney wedding, for your 1st anniversary, do a vow renewal at WDW next year or the year after you're married. That way, you can get the best of both worlds!! And besides, for the renewal, it can be just you two, which will be aLOT cheaper!!!

Hope this helps you out somewhat!!!!

 

[Mgmgal]

I realize that this thread is a couple years old but I was wondering if any of you who had a Disney wedding had any advice on how to handle the comments from family who are not on the guest list or are on the list and giving you flack about a Disney wedding. I'm worried because there are a couple more family members getting married soon and there wedding will include lots of folks not necessarily on our list and I can hear(and feel the know in my stomach) the questions and awkward situations to come. I am a Disney girl and never thought I would get to have a Disney wedding and now I know that we can I don't want any regrets about my wedding day. Any advice is helpful.
Sorry if I rambled.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

I have saxophone sheet music for When You Wish Upon a Star that your violinist should be able to transpose into her key. Have you met your violinist? He/she should be able to listen to the melody and play it by ear. That does take a little bit of time, though, so it might cost you a little extra. Ask if that is an option.

 

[Disney-Chick]

I realize that this thread is a couple years old but I was wondering if any of you who had a Disney wedding had any advice on how to handle the comments from family who are not on the guest list or are on the list and giving you flack about a Disney wedding. I'm worried because there are a couple more family members getting married soon and there wedding will include lots of folks not necessarily on our list and I can hear(and feel the know in my stomach) the questions and awkward situations to come. I am a Disney girl and never thought I would get to have a Disney wedding and now I know that we can I don't want any regrets about my wedding day. Any advice is helpful.
Sorry if I rambled.

Just explain that this is what you and your DF want. But unfortunatley you can not include everyone but hope they will join you at the reception (whenever that may be). You will always have comments no matter where you have your wedding. At the end of the day as long as your immediate family & close friends can join you then your day will be perfect.

When I started planning for my Jan. 4, 2011 wedding 2 years ago, I thought my grandfather would be coming. Eventually I found out that he did not want to go. As much as I felt bad, I knew I wanted my Disney Wedding. And there are all kinds of pictures and video so I can show him.

Also, on Dec. 21st my grandfather went into the hospital with chest pains. I felt bad leaving on Christmas day but had gone in every day until I left. My aunt did not attend the wedding and she stayed with him while my family flew out. The day after the wedding my father left and took an early flight back home. I asked if he wanted me to come and he said no. I later found out after getting home that the day of my wedding was the worse day for my grandfather and 15 minutes before my parents walked me down the isle my aunt called saying she didn't know if he would make it. My grandfather is doing okay now, still in the hospital but he ended up having a triple bypass (3 days ago) for all the 3 blockages around his heart. Again, I felt bad leaving but in the end I was so happy that I did it.

Sorry for the long response. I always said that as long as me, my DH, and my daughter were there than anyone else was bonus. It's our day, our money and our lives.

 

[Mgmgal]

Thanks for that, I'm glad to hear your grandfather is doing ok now.I hope his condition continues to improve.

 

[figmentfan814]

I had to deal with similar questions about my wedding. My family is simply so large that there was no way that we could afford to have everyone. I told family that we had decided to have a small wedding with our closest family and friends. Then we planned an at-home reception two months after our wedding, so we were able to share our photos and play our video from the wedding. I had several cousins get married the same year after me and suprisingly they each followed suit and had small weddings with larger receptions afterwards. If you are having an escape just explain that the package you are having through Disney only allows so many guests. If you decide you could always invite others down to celebrate afterwards for your dinner reception since that would be outside the escape package. Most people understand that there are restriction on head counts, etc.