Giving adult kids cash for Christmas...for our Disney trip?

[duffy]

I think this sounds GREAT!!

I know! Me too!!

It's nice to have them all taken care of now. Whew! Now, what do I get their little sister? 16 years old, still at home. Hmm.

Just kidding!

 

[tinker&belle]

I would give a smaller gift this year and buy cash or plane tickets or park tickets next year. I think if you give cash now it will probably be spent.

 

[Califgirl]

That's what I was wondering. I hate to dictate where they spend it, but I also want to send a message: you HAVE to go to Disney World now! You have no other way to take advantage of this gift!!

I know I'm in the minority here, but if you give them something that has to be used for a vacation that is over a year away, it's not so much a gift as an obligation.

Can you get them each something small and personal with a Disney gift card to be used at their discretion (but the idea is to use it on the trip)? Then next Christmas you can get them something specifically for the trip (tickets, gift cards etc.) and since the vacation will be so much closer that timing would be more appropriate.

If someone gave me a Disney ticket or gift card that I couldn't use for over a year, I just wouldn't think it was much of a gift. Ok, I would think it's a great gift, but most normal people would probably prefer something they can enjoy at the moment.

If you give them cash, there really should be no strings attached. As a gift they should be able to use it as they need. Having conditions put on a gift makes it an obligation. (Although a tasteful hint about Disney could probably be worked in without it seeming to be a mandate.)

 

[duffy]

I know I'm in the minority here, but if you give them something that has to be used for a vacation that is over a year away, it's not so much a gift as an obligation.

Can you get them each something small and personal with a Disney gift card to be used at their discretion (but the idea is to use it on the trip)? Then next Christmas you can get them something specifically for the trip (tickets, gift cards etc.) and since the vacation will be so much closer that timing would be more appropriate.

If someone gave me a Disney ticket or gift card that I couldn't use for over a year, I just wouldn't think it was much of a gift. Ok, I would think it's a great gift, but most normal people would probably prefer something they can enjoy at the moment.

If you give them cash, there really should be no strings attached. As a gift they should be able to use it as they need. Having conditions put on a gift makes it an obligation. (Although a tasteful hint about Disney could probably be worked in without it seeming to be a mandate.)

I never wanted to give them cash, I'm pretty well sold on the idea of Disney gift cards. If they just can't come on the trip, they can spend them at a Disney store.

Even if they do decide to come, they can use the gift cards to buy themselves something for the trip, for example, buy themselves pins to trade. Or dvds. Or Mickey Mouse flatware-I didn't even know there was such a thing till just now, browsing their e-store! Or a snow globe!

 

[MrsPete]

I'm with those who say that giving them anything related to a February 2013 trip in December 2011 is too soon. This is your anniversary trip, and it's of utmost importance to you -- and I'm sure they're excited too -- but as other people have pointed out, young adults are more likely to have something come up between now and then: They're more likely to have trouble getting off work, to have money problems, etc. You seem very concerned about not "locking them into plans" for specific parks right now. For this year's Christmas, I wouldn't give anything trip-related.

Next year, when the trip's only two months away, I'd feel quite differently. I think tickets are a great idea, but you must proceed with caution in that area. You might end up putting them in a tough spot: Last summer I had a leftover park hopper, but I wanted to buy just ONE DAY for Disney and just ONE DAY for Universal. By purchasing one day only, I was forced to pay much more per day for those tickets. You can save big bucks by buying multi-day tickets. I'd lean towards giving them a VISA gift card, which they could use for tickets, meals, whatever -- that allows them each to find the best deal possible.

 

[duffy]

I'm with those who say that giving them anything related to a February 2013 trip in December 2011 is too soon. This is your anniversary trip, and it's of utmost importance to you -- and I'm sure they're excited too -- but as other people have pointed out, young adults are more likely to have something come up between now and then: They're more likely to have trouble getting off work, to have money problems, etc. You seem very concerned about not "locking them into plans" for specific parks right now. For this year's Christmas, I wouldn't give anything trip-related.

Next year, when the trip's only two months away, I'd feel quite differently. I think tickets are a great idea, but you must proceed with caution in that area. You might end up putting them in a tough spot: Last summer I had a leftover park hopper, but I wanted to buy just ONE DAY for Disney and just ONE DAY for Universal. By purchasing one day only, I was forced to pay much more per day for those tickets. You can save big bucks by buying multi-day tickets. I'd lean towards giving them a VISA gift card, which they could use for tickets, meals, whatever -- that allows them each to find the best deal possible.

Okay, so Disney gift cards can be used at any Disney store, right? For things like snow globes, like I mentioned, in post 24, or new towels, or flatware?

Visa gift cards are just, well, pretty much CASH. I-and both daughters, as written in my first post-are opposed to cash gifts. And as mentioned earlier, if I just give them cash this year, it will be spent long before the trip, most likely. Spent on thing like food, gas, etc. I knew that already, as mentioned in post 20.

I was trying to give them a gift that could be used towards the big trip, if they chose, or not.

Why not Disney gift cards? They can just use them to buy Mickey Mouse waffle irons too, can't they? I've already said I had no problem with them using the gift cards for things other than the trip.

 

[Madison'smommy]

Are they disney lovers? As an adult who is not a disney lover (gasp!!! I mean, I like it an all but...lol) I would not want a disney gift card as my gift, to use at the store. If I had commited to going on the trip etc, then I would love it! Does their gift have to be a surprise? COuld you just talk to them and ask?.... tell them you can either do something that may help them with the disney trip.... or get them whatever you would typically get them for Christmas. For me, as an adult, I am not so big on surprises. I would prefer my mom to ask me my opinion if she was thinking in the direction that you are.....

 

[kirstenb1]

I know! Me too!!

It's nice to have them all taken care of now. Whew! Now, what do I get their little sister? 16 years old, still at home. Hmm.

Just kidding!

I'm confused...is there really a little sister, or are you j/k?

 

[duffy]

Are they disney lovers? As an adult who is not a disney lover (gasp!!! I mean, I like it an all but...lol) I would not want a disney gift card as my gift, to use at the store. If I had commited to going on the trip etc, then I would love it! Does their gift have to be a surprise? COuld you just talk to them and ask?.... tell them you can either do something that may help them with the disney trip.... or get them whatever you would typically get them for Christmas. For me, as an adult, I am not so big on surprises. I would prefer my mom to ask me my opinion if she was thinking in the direction that you are.....

Both daughters love Disney. Their guys haven't been there for years, so I'm not sure how much they love Disney.

In our family, Christmas gifts are surprises. I thought everyone else gave gifts as surprises too. They expect their gifts to be surprises. We all drop pretty heavy hints, though!

I typically give them gifts. Last year, my middle daughter, aged 26, got the American Girl doll she always had wanted, and was very very happy. Oldest one got a subscription to a coffee club, so every month she got a new fancy coffee from Green Mountain Coffee.

I try to buy them things that they would not buy for themselves, because they would think it's too impractical.

 

[duffy]

I'm confused...is there really a little sister, or are you j/k?

There really is a little sister, but I can handle her. Their ages are: 28, 26 and 16.

I feel that, because the older 2 live on their own, with partners, they should be weaned off of getting hundreds of dollars of gifts from mom and dad each year. They need to focus on their own families, and I can't afford to spend thousands on them AND their guys each year.

We still buy those two gifts, of course, but I don't spend money on them like I do on their little sister. She's still living at home. I will buy her more gifts than them. Once she's an independent adult, she will get less gifts too.

 

[Madison'smommy]

Both daughters love Disney. Their guys haven't been there for years, so I'm not sure how much they love Disney.

In our family, Christmas gifts are surprises. I thought everyone else gave gifts as surprises too. They expect their gifts to be surprises. We all drop pretty heavy hints, though!

I typically give them gifts. Last year, my middle daughter, aged 26, got the American Girl doll she always had wanted, and was very very happy. Oldest one got a subscription to a coffee club, so every month she got a new fancy coffee from Green Mountain Coffee.

I try to buy them things that they would not buy for themselves, because they would think it's too impractical.

No, yeah gifts are surprises, but being that the trip is SO far and they havent given a definate that they are even going.. it is just sort of awkward. But, for them... if they would use the disney GC even if they dont intend on going on the trip.. then it is a great gift. I was just asking, because for me and most of the adults I know, a disney gift card wouldnt be what I would expect if I didnt have a trip in the future.

ETA: are they "hinting" at anything?

 

[duffy]

No, yeah gifts are surprises, but being that the trip is SO far and they havent given a definate that they are even going.. it is just sort of awkward. But, for them... if they would use the disney GC even if they dont intend on going on the trip.. then it is a great gift. I was just asking, because for me and most of the adults I know, a disney gift card wouldnt be what I would expect if I didnt have a trip in the future.

ETA: are they "hinting" at anything?

Well, I mentioned on one post that one daughter is pretty much on board. (the one who has a daughter that will be 2 1/2, and an infant 8 or 9 months old on the trip)

She would probably save the cards to use on the trip.

The oldest (28 years old) is much more questionable. Her guy would have a tough time taking off.

They would maybe end up using it at a Disney store near them. (they live in Fall River, MA) But they will all know that it's up to them to use as they see fit.

No one is hinting yet!! Grr!! It makes it soo much easier! But, I am hinting. For example, my stick blender just broke. I kept saying, "Boy, I sure could use a NEW STICK BLENDER!! Man, I love my STICK BLENDER!! If only I could get a NEW STICK BLENDER!!"

 

[Madison'smommy]

Well, I mentioned on one post that one daughter is pretty much on board. (the one who has a daughter that will be 2 1/2, and an infant 8 or 9 months old on the trip)

She would probably save the cards to use on the trip.

The oldest (28 years old) is much more questionable. Her guy would have a tough time taking off.

They would maybe end up using it at a Disney store near them. (they live in Fall River, MA) But they will all know that it's up to them to use as they see fit.

No one is hinting yet!! Grr!! It makes it soo much easier! But, I am hinting. For example, my stick blender just broke. I kept saying, "Boy, I sure could use a NEW STICK BLENDER!! Man, I love my STICK BLENDER!! If only I could get a NEW STICK BLENDER!!"

lol, I loved my stick blender! I hope you get a new one! GL with your gift shopping!

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would just do very small gifts this year and tell the family you are saving for WDW. NEXT year take the money you have saved from this year and add to the money for next year and make it a trip gift that you can afford and all will appreciate. I would spring for whatever type of tickets you can afford at the parks you want them to enjoy together as a family. I would treat husbands the same as your DD but not "partners" but that is just my attitude. Say you buy 4 day hoppers for all, they can add on a few days, or have pool days or visit universal.

So kind of you to treat your family!

 

[duffy]

I would just do very small gifts this year and tell the family you are saving for WDW. NEXT year take the money you have saved from this year and add to the money for next year and make it a trip gift that you can afford and all will appreciate. I would spring for whatever type of tickets you can afford at the parks you want them to enjoy together as a family. I would treat husbands the same as your DD but not "partners" but that is just my attitude. Say you buy 4 day hoppers for all, they can add on a few days, or have pool days or visit universal.

So kind of you to treat your family!

Thanks!

 

[kirstenb1]

There really is a little sister, but I can handle her. Their ages are: 28, 26 and 16.

I feel that, because the older 2 live on their own, with partners, they should be weaned off of getting hundreds of dollars of gifts from mom and dad each year. They need to focus on their own families, and I can't afford to spend thousands on them AND their guys each year.

We still buy those two gifts, of course, but I don't spend money on them like I do on their little sister. She's still living at home. I will buy her more gifts than them. Once she's an independent adult, she will get less gifts too.

That makes perfect sense. FWIW, I come from a pretty big family, so my parents changed gift giving when each of us moved out, so I understand. But where are all these people sleeping? Is there a pull out sofa in the living room? Or maybe 2 queen beds in each room?

 

[duffy]

That makes perfect sense. FWIW, I come from a pretty big family, so my parents changed gift giving when each of us moved out, so I understand. But where are all these people sleeping? Is there a pull out sofa in the living room? Or maybe 2 queen beds in each room?

Three queen beds and at least one fold-out couch.

My husband and I will have one bedroom, each adult daughter another bedroom, and the 16-year old will be on a couch. Each couple will have a queen bed.

Each daughter will share her bedroom with her partner. The babies will be in the bedroom with their parents, using portable cribs.

I'll probably bring at least one air mattress too.