Since Valentine's Day is tomorrow, I thought it would appropriate to post a story about my worst Valentine's Day. I had posted this story after it happened on the Community Board. But I can't find it to link it. So here is the story. Enjoy!
A few years ago my hairdresser was getting married on Valentines Day. My mother is also a client of her so she was invited to the wedding as well. I was not all too happy about attending the wedding on VD. Especially after I broke up with the guy I was seeing at the time. Who wants to go to a wedding solo? Or with your mother? And then have that wedding be on VD when everyone is with their someone special? It was like a cruel joke to ask a single gal to come to a wedding on VD and her not have a date.
I was unable to go to the ceremony due to work, but my mother was picking me up to go to the reception. I had a great dress on. It was pretty low cut though. But still looked nice. I wore heels and everything that night. I had been losing weight at that point so I was pretty proud of it. Off to the reception we go.
It was held at a banquet type place. Actually it was called a teahouse. There were many levels, lots of stairs and not everything was in one room. Not a big deal right? Sure. Remember I am wearing heels.
There is no assigned seating but we are able to get seated at a table in the main room with the dance floor. Score. One of the best things about a wedding reception is a good dj. The only thing better than that is an open bar. Which they had as well. But it was a limited open bar. They didnt have a ton of different types of alcohol. Just plenty of what was supplied. Nothing that I normally drank, but it was alright. Open bar remember?
The food was an issue though. It was a buffet of Mexican food. Which I am really picky about. My nana cooks the best Mexican food, so everything else is meh. But as I mentioned before, I had been losing weight on a diet so I hadnt eaten all day (not good I know). So I put some food on my plate. I ended up not really eating, but planned to eat some because I was drinking.
I get up to go to the restroom, when I come back my plate is gone. My mother sent it back because she knew I didnt like it, but I needed to eat. She told me to just eat the cake.
Oh well, keep the drinks coming I said. Which they did. And because of my many trips to the bar, I met a guy. Now dont ask me his name, because I have no clue. Bad I know. So we hit it off, and start talking and hanging out. We ended up on the dance floor and were having a great time. For some reason though we thought it was a great idea to make out on the dance floor. We were drinking remember?
So the night keeps on, I am having a great time. I have already forgotten that it was VD. Forgotten that I was single again.. Forgotten that I was there with my mom. And forgotten that I was at someones wedding. I was having a great time. So great that my mother cut me off and told me it was time to go. There is a point where I drink past my limits. Its the thumbs up point.
If I give thumps up more than once, I am cut off. Family and friends know of this. So I was cut off.
We manage to say our good byes and such and make our way out of the facility. But once outside, I realize that I need to use the restroom or I wont make it home. Mom says she will pull the car around. So I head back up two flights of stairs to where I know there is a bathroom. I am sure there were others on the other floors, but I am drunk and dont know where they are. I go for the sure bet. I do my business and head out. Now I have been drinking plenty, had my DMO (drunk make out) and am in a pretty good mood. That it why I missed a few steps and go hurling down the stairs. Dont worry, I didnt get hurt. But the twins were out for a walk. Damn that low cut dress and push up bra. I did what every woman in my heels would have done. I get the girls back in their holding cell and brush myself off, hold my head high, and make my way out to the car.
So I get to the car and mom asks if everything is ok. I smile, give her thumbs up and off we go. We then discuss if she should take side streets or freeway. She thinks side streets are better since I may get sick. I am offended at this so I tell her I am great, take the freeway. Besides, its late and it will be empty. So off we go.
Everything is going fine until she hits a pot hole and every ounce of alcohol I had that night decides to show up again. I can not get the window down fast enough. Plus I am on the shorter side so getting my head out of the window is not easy. I end up getting sick all over myself, and the car. Now this was a special kind of sick. I had it on my dress, my coat, in my hair, down the inside of the car, and all over the outside of the car. It looked like splatter paint. I was crying and couldnt stop. I just wanted to die. It was horrible!
Now, what do you think my sweet mother did? I will tell you. She slapped my leg over and over again yelling at me for getting sick in her car. She ended up getting off the freeway to take side streets the rest of the way home. So by this time I am still crying and my makeup is running down my face. I turn to her to tell her Im sorry. And all she can tell me is Look at yourself! You look like Alice Cooper!. Very different than how I started out the evening.
And if that wasnt bad enough, we pull up to a stop light and a low rider car pulls up next to us. I am now leaning on the open window with my head sticking out lying on the vomit. I glance up to see the driver and his passengers who happen to all be cholos. They roll down their window and point and laugh and say Thats messed up. Yeah, I couldnt get any lower than I did at that time.
I get home, try to clean myself up and climb into bed. My father ends up washing off her car for her so I dont have to. They are afraid the paint is going to be ruined. And that was the end of my worst VD.
But that is not the end of the story. The next day I almost died. I have never had a hang over like that. I felt like I got hit by a truck. And I didnt do that great of a job cleaning my hair up the night before so that was just nasty. I had to have all my bedding washed. A few weeks later I was getting my hair done and my hairdresser was asking me how long I knew that guy for. She was shocked that I met him that night. So yeah, I was a bit embarrassed about that. At least I learned my lesson. Dont go single to a wedding on VD.
Can anyone top that one?
