Getting over the guilt. Parents only trip.

[El&Asmom]

Dh and I are expecting our third LO in December. We have some extra DVC points and are thinking of using them in Sept for 3 nights if we can find a studio available somewhere, or maybe a trip to Vero beach if we are really lucky.
We have two dds. One will be five in a couple of weeks, the other is 2.5. We have never left them for more than a night to go downtown for a special occasion.
I am having major guilt issues. The main one is almost completely irrational as I hate to fly, but I think of the possibility of a plane crash and leaving our kids orphans. I know pretty irrational, but I'm a mom. I tend to be irrational when it comes to worrying about my kids.
We would have family that could watch the girls, and they would love to spend time with their cousins and grandparents, but I am still worried.

This would be the last time we could get away for a while. I breastfeed for no less than 18 months, and will not leave a baby for more than a night while bfing. Also after dd2 was born, she did not sleep through the night until she was 18 months old, so we are preparing ourselves for some long nights coming up.

Sorry for the long winded post. I am just trying to talk myself into something that I know would be good for dh and I. I'm just worried about leaving the girls.

 

[Eeyore's Girl]

I don't have any helpful advise for you, having DD's that are 15 and 7 and have yet to leave them for a "just us" trip. However, I daydream about such a trip A LOT!

I just wanted to say I think you're a good mom!

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

Please don't feel guilty. We have a 5 and 3 year old and we were just talking about needing a "parent" trip -- we've never had one. I think it would refresh us and we'd be better parents.

I say go!!! and enjoy!!!

 

[RyJMom]

I don't think you are being irrational - just a Mom. Its our job to worry!!! We leave our kids at least once a year for a 3 or 4 night Mom and Dad trip and I still worry every time before we go. Sounds like you have a loving, safe place for them to stay - go and have a great time.

 

[design_mom]

Just wanted to let you know that I'm "with you" on this one. DH and I have scheduled a long weekend in September, without the kids. We are both stressing about it (already). The kids will be staying with my parents (whom they love) and I know they will be in great hands...but I still worry and feel guilt. (We haven't mentioned *where* we're going. I do not think that will go over well.)

I think we're going to end up doing it (it's booked), but... still...

 

[RyJMom]

You are not being irrational - just a Mom. It is our job to worry and feel guilty about everything!!! We leave our kids at least once a year for a 3 or 4 night trip and I still worry before every one. Give the trip a shot - I bet you will have a great time and be glad you went. What makes me mad is that my Hubby never worries about leaving the kids- he says he knows they are safe and will have a great time. Not fair - I want to go guilt and worry free!!!!

 

[Malela9]

I am a mom to 3 beautiful,wonderful kids (13,8 & 4) and a kindergarten teacher. The last 2 trips dh and I have taken to WDW were alone! I can't tell you how wonderful it was! We both love Disney, and we finally got to ride big people rides!
Don't feel bad, you are a great mom I am sure and, your daughters will forgive you. Hey, I had a 13 year old to deal with ," Mom, are you going without me again?!" By the way, dh is taking me in Oct. for my b-day!
Enjoy! ( See, you are not alone!)

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

DH and I just got back from our alone trip, though it wasn't as far as Disney. I have to admit, when we got to our destination - Baltimore - and I saw parents with their kids, I cried, missing mine, but quickly got over it and REALLY enjoyed the time alone with DH, and being able to sleep past 5am!!! If you can't handle getting on a plane to go somewhere (I totally understand that!) then maybe you can go somewhere closer to home. I mean, really all you need is some time away/alone with DH, doesn't really matter where!

 

[letthewookiewin]

The only time we have been to WDW without our kids they were both under 3, it was only a 3 day trip, and it was in July. However, I get the same way before we go on any mommy and daddy only trip. I have a mother in law that thinks it's important that my DH and I get away once a year without the kids if we can afford it. We have only been able to do this 4 times though. Once to San Antonio Texas, WDW once, and then twice to Las Vegas. One year my mom wanted a good excuse to have the week of 4th of July off. Since our wedding anniviersary is July 1st, she offered to keep the boys for the whole week, and off to Las Vegas we went. Before we leave we give who ever is keeping the boys our insurance info and all their doctor's numbers. Also, I have made it very clear to everyone in our family who I want to raise our boys if anything were to happen to both of us.
Go and have fun!!

 

[DVCsince02]

I'm expecting our 3rd in September and we always take a weekend to get-a-way before the baby comes. Do it and enjoy!

 

[eliza61]

.
Sorry for the long winded post. I am just trying to talk myself into something that I know would be good for dh and I. I'm just worried about leaving the girls.

Just keep saying it will be good for you and your dh. Remember, you two are just as important as the children. Perfectly normal for you to worry, heck I think I worry more now that my kids are teenagers (and can get into a lot more serious trouble) than when they were small.

We were lucky in that my in laws are European, so my kids started flying at a very young age. by 6 they were international travelers. now my oldest is a year away from college and looking at me like I'm crazy because I'm worried about him going far from home.

 

[bonybroad]

Our first solo trip without the kids - it's our 10th anniversary. I feel a little guilty that we are going to WDW without them, but it needs to be our turn for a weekend. Parents have to be just grown ups every once in a while!
We haven't even told them that we are going anywhere, let alone to the Mouse House!

 

[El&Asmom]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's good to know I'm not alone.

Sooooo, I just booked a three night stay at Vero Beach in an ocean view inn room. I'm am so excited but nervous at the same time. Dh and I haven't vacationed anywhere alone in over 6 years.

I know it will be good for us. Dh's sister just announced that she and BIL are getting divorced. They were one of those couples that you would never expect to ever get divorced. They said that their marriage is only about the kids now, and they no longer have any feelings for each other. Dh and I are devestated over the news. We are nowhere near that, but with a new one coming, we know how much our lives change with the focus of a new baby and two older kiddos to watch over.

Thanks again, and wish us a safe trip! (And hopefully no hurricanes for early Sept ).

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

I am so happy to read your post!!! We are also expecting our third and have a weekend set up w/extra DVC points for just the two of us. I have been feeling guilty also! It's good to know I'm not alone.

We haven't been anywhere alone since our honeymoon ('03) and I figured this would probably be our only chance for a while.

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

BTW, you should check us out over here:

New "Mom's to Be" Thread!


Lisa

 

[punk101]

Have fun!

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I know how you feel, I've been there too.
No reason to feel guilty though and once you are there you'll think about them but I think a little part of you will be happy they aren't there.
Enjoy your freedom.

 

[asktriplets]

good for you!

DH and I made plans for the 2 of us to go to WDW 2 years ago, but we ended up cancelling for a variety of reasons.

One thing that made me feel MUCH better about my fear of flying (and I had the EXACT same fear as you!!!) is booking different flights...We booked DH's flight using airline miles on one airline and I bought my ticket on a completely different airline. The timing of the flights was only different by about and hour. Silly, for sure, but it made me feel much calmer about flying.

Have great time!

 

[El&Asmom]

Not silly at all, as this is one of the things that I have been considering doing. Dh thinks I'm nuts, but it would make me feel better. We fly out of Chicago, (Ohare or Midway), so there are usually a ton of flights pretty close together. We would probably not end up too far apart and at least we would know that one of us would be there for the kids if the worst should happen. I'll see if I can talk dh into it.

Thanks for the advise.

good for you!

DH and I made plans for the 2 of us to go to WDW 2 years ago, but we ended up cancelling for a variety of reasons.

One thing that made me feel MUCH better about my fear of flying (and I had the EXACT same fear as you!!!) is booking different flights...We booked DH's flight using airline miles on one airline and I bought my ticket on a completely different airline. The timing of the flights was only different by about and hour. Silly, for sure, but it made me feel much calmer about flying.

Have great time!

 

[letthewookiewin]

I'm glad that you decided to go. I'm sure you'll have a blast!! Just go and relax and enjoy the sound of the ocean. I've got my fingers crossed for perfect weather, and no hurricanes. Sending you some pixie dust to help it come true.

I would love to get away just me and my DH, but we have a family WDW trip in December. Then we have a Grand Gathering with DH's family in October 2009. We may not be able to get away until our 15th wedding anniversary in July 2010. We just have to figure out where to go. I either want to do WDW or England/ Scotland, but he wants to go to the Texas Coast and go deep sea fishing. Thank goodness I have two years to convince him that my way is the right way to go.