Getting my daughter to bundle up

[Magpie]

I got some reassuring posts on here the other night which is why I decided that I am going to give the board a second chance, not that it's any of your business why or when I'm browsing!!

Anyway, when I collected DD from school today, the teacher came out and told me that my daughter was complaining of the cold whilst outside at lunchtime so teacher asked her to "fasten up the jacket" but my daughter couldn't fasten the zip so teacher did it for her.

I had no idea that my 7yr old girl couldn't zip a jacket so am a wee bit worried because, to my knowledge, most 7yr old kids can zip a jacket.

I started to teach her as soon as we got home but after 5 minutes, she ran up to her room crying and saying to me "I am useless, what is wrong with me".

In addition to the excellent advice you've got already, I'd suggest attaching a pull to her jacket zipper might help - even a paperclip can assist her in getting a grip on the zipper.

Also, don't worry about what other 7 year old kids can or can't do. That's really not terribly important, unless you're noticing a pattern (ie, unusually slow and messy handwriting, refusal to draw, difficulty with buttons and laces, frustration with school work, a disinclination to play any games or with toys involving fine motor skills - ie, "I hate LEGO!", etc).

Children learn skills at different rates. They don't all march ahead in lockstep with each other. Most are very good at some things, and rather terrible at others. It's not that unusual for a kid to miss learning a small skill like this. After all, there's likely a bunch of kids in her class who still have velcro shoes!

Try to work on the zipper skill when your daughter is feeling relaxed and in a good mood. Right after school is a bad time, because everyone's hungry and tired and stressed. That said, I don't have much patience for the whole, "I am useless!" frustration thing. My kids used to pull that nonsense, and I always let them know that while I appreciated that they were frustrated and upset, I really wasn't going to sit around and listen to them badmouth themselves.

In our house this is the "chill out" and "calm down" moment, and when the child is ready, we can work on this skill again. You don't get sympathy or cuddles for melting down out of frustration. Frustration happens to all of us, and we all have to learn to deal with it without melting down. (Running away is okay in the short term, but you still have to come back and tackle the project again.)

My son has a "learning disability - not otherwise specified" (yes, that's what it says on his paperwork ), that's basically dyslexia. I dealt with an awful lot of frustrated "I'm useless!" tantrums.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Welcome back!

I think, especially with jackets, and a fuller heavier jacket, kids could possibly have a hard time.
Sometimes the zippers are harder to do, and do not like to cooperate!

When you have zipped her up, did it work easily, to feed the bottom part of the zippers together and get it started?
Remember, it can be much easier for you to do this, on her, than for her to try to reach and look down.

Just to throw this out there...
Is she left handed, or does she show any problems with hand-eye coordination or dexterity with her hands/fingers.

Does the jacket also have snaps that she might find to be easier than the zipper?

Interesting that we are back to the 'expectations of young children to be very independent' topic!

The thing is, I think that, maybe, this issue has been over-done and dramatized, and maybe that is why she became frustrated and defeated so quickly.
If she feels like this is a demand that she will simply fail at completing, that could only make it worse.
Make sure you are keeping the excess pressure off, and just reassure her that she can continue to practice.

 

[gwynne]

I got some reassuring posts on here the other night which is why I decided that I am going to give the board a second chance, not that it's any of your business why or when I'm browsing!!

Anyway, when I collected DD from school today, the teacher came out and told me that my daughter was complaining of the cold whilst outside at lunchtime so teacher asked her to "fasten up the jacket" but my daughter couldn't fasten the zip so teacher did it for her.

I had no idea that my 7yr old girl couldn't zip a jacket so am a wee bit worried because, to my knowledge, most 7yr old kids can zip a jacket.

I started to teach her as soon as we got home but after 5 minutes, she ran up to her room crying and saying to me "I am useless, what is wrong with me".

One possibility is the zipper itself could use to be lightly waxed. Beeswax is easy to get from most places that sell sewing notions. A small circle of it lasts ages and is very helpful in keeping zippers working easily.

 

[pocomom]

My son is 6, and can't zip a coat all the time. He has some other fine motor delays, but is literally brilliant in other ways. Him not being able to zip his coat is in no way surprising to me. If she has a fine motor delay of some type at this age, it should be fairly obvious to any parent paying attention.
It sounds like your daughter hasn't had much practice, and I'm wondering if your insistence plus frustration over her not doing it, has created too much pressure for her. Immediately working on it with her may have compounded the issue. I think the first step here is to relax. Secondly, ditch the coat issue all together and either zip it yourself when needed with no attitude (how about ask her if she wants it zipped and let her know you are happy to help her?) or have her put on a coat with Velcro or some other closure. I actually added Velcro to my ds's jacket for just this purpose. Very easy to do. Get her a stand alone zipper, a different article of clothing, doll with zipper or make an outfit with zipper for an existing doll or stuffed animal. Let her practice with it, but don't put pressure on her. Check the coat as others have suggested for a particularly frustrating zipper and fix any issues. And lighten up momma!

Edited to add: seems really strange that you never asked her why she wasn't zipping her coat... perhaps a little more communication is in order rather than assuming disobedience?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well that's a wee bit creepy - just clicked on myself and it even says where I am looking. Never knew about that. Thanks.

I believe you can adjust your settings.

ETA: nevermind. Lol. Spooky.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I got some reassuring posts on here the other night which is why I decided that I am going to give the board a second chance, not that it's any of your business why or when I'm browsing!!

Anyway, when I collected DD from school today, the teacher came out and told me that my daughter was complaining of the cold whilst outside at lunchtime so teacher asked her to "fasten up the jacket" but my daughter couldn't fasten the zip so teacher did it for her.

I had no idea that my 7yr old girl couldn't zip a jacket so am a wee bit worried because, to my knowledge, most 7yr old kids can zip a jacket.

I started to teach her as soon as we got home but after 5 minutes, she ran up to her room crying and saying to me "I am useless, what is wrong with me".

My goodness...poor kid! Don't be worried, just keep showing her and assure her it's normal to not get it right away.

 

[Minnesota!]

DS17 still wears shorts during the winter. With a hoodie.
And long pants in the summer.

I say, pick your battles. If she gets cold, she will bundle up.

It hit 20 or so here the other day and my husband was wearing shorts, too. Which explains why my kids are ok with wearing little to no winter gear, either.

 

[leebee]

I work in an elementary school and when I have recess duty with the 2nd and 3rd grade, it's not uncommon to have to help quite a few kids zip their jackets. Of course, on nicer days when they are all running around like maniacs, it's also not uncommon to see many of them UNzip and even shed their jackets!

Here's my PSA... Please make sure that your kids come to school in the winter with appropriate outdoor clothing (if they are elementary students who will have recess). In my neck of the woods, that means snow jacket, snow pants, boots, mittens, hat. Many schools have "recess rules" and at my school, the first of these is "Everyone goes out for recess." Your child will not be allowed to stay in for recess because s/he doesn't have a winter jacket, etc. At my school in the winter, in addition to a winter jacket, students must be wearing boots to be allowed out onto the snow-covered playground, and also be wearing snow pants if they want to actually play. Otherwise, your child will spend recess standing on the sidewalk. I know it sounds draconian, and I don't make the rules, but I am required to follow them. Yes, we will try to find hats and mittens if your student has forgotten/misplaced theirs, and there is a lost and found pile if someone shows up without a coat, but no boots and no snow pants means standing around on the sidewalk for 25 minutes, watching the other kids have fun.

 

[Rhona 07]

I work in an elementary school and when I have recess duty with the 2nd and 3rd grade, it's not uncommon to have to help quite a few kids zip their jackets. Of course, on nicer days when they are all running around like maniacs, it's also not uncommon to see many of them UNzip and even shed their jackets!

Here's my PSA... Please make sure that your kids come to school in the winter with appropriate outdoor clothing (if they are elementary students who will have recess). In my neck of the woods, that means snow jacket, snow pants, boots, mittens, hat. Many schools have "recess rules" and at my school, the first of these is "Everyone goes out for recess." Your child will not be allowed to stay in for recess because s/he doesn't have a winter jacket, etc. At my school in the winter, in addition to a winter jacket, students must be wearing boots to be allowed out onto the snow-covered playground, and also be wearing snow pants if they want to actually play. Otherwise, your child will spend recess standing on the sidewalk. I know it sounds draconian, and I don't make the rules, but I am required to follow them. Yes, we will try to find hats and mittens if your student has forgotten/misplaced theirs, and there is a lost and found pile if someone shows up without a coat, but no boots and no snow pants means standing around on the sidewalk for 25 minutes, watching the other kids have fun.

My daughter always goes to school with appropriate clothing for that specific day of weather plus if its pleasant, I ALWAYS take a hat in case she gets cold due to change in weather, either that or I put out the hood of her jacket if she wants that instead of her hat which is usually always. For some reason she prefers the hood even though she chose the hat herself.

I also always ask her to put her jacket in her bag if its pleasant just in case a) the weather changes or b) as you say, she needs it for recess or playtime.

That is one thing my daughter is good at though, she knows what clothing is necessary for the specific day.

I am trying to teach her how to zip her jacket but its a slow process so I ask her friends or teacher to help her at school and when I'm picking her up, I do it myself .