Gently approaching a loved one about weight

[pigletgirl]

I would have him change his doctor. Being obese is unhealthy and if the doctor is obese, she is not going to push him to get healthy.

Not necessarily.

 

[minkydog]

think there is some confusion now with other's asking questions. I'm op, my dh is a vegetarian , and when he goes to McDonalds he eats 2 apple pies, large fries and a large soda or shake for a snack before the dinner I made, no burgers. I'll make him whatever he wants but as a family we can't keep bags of cookies and chips around because that is not fair to my daughter who can't eat that way due to heart issues, nor do I want the other kids to develop bad habits.

Your DH is not a vegetarian, he is a "junk-etarian." My DD20 has a friend who is a similar vegetarian. She eats cheese pizza, Skittles, French fries, and Coke. Fortunately for her, it hasn't caught up with her. But it's only a matter of time. Nobody can live on junk food forever, McDonald's included.

It sounds like your DH is a secretive eater. It's very similar to being a drug addict: He tries to eat fairly normally at home (stay clean), where somebody will see him, but when he's alone he runs to his favorite fast food place ( his dealer). His drug of choice is fries, soda, pies, and Coke. I know this because I have done the same thing.

There was a time when I would go to Krispy Kreme for 4 donuts on the way to work, rather than eating anything at home. I know better. I know how I'm supposed to eat, but I refused to do it. In a way, you could say my food addiction was in high gear. I never craved fresh fruit, grilled fish, or chicken breast; it was always high carbs. I didn't crave during the day, only in the evening. But when I started it was like I had no control whatsoever. From 6pm until bedtime I just ate one thing after the other, looking for "something" and never finding it.

Your husband is active in his addiction. Like a drug addict, he will not likely change his ways until something major happens. He will have to decide for himself to change his habits, and it's very hard to do. He has to have some skin in the game--it's not enough for him to "do it for the family." Cuz as soon as there is turmoil, he'll be looking for his dealer again. It's a commitment that only he can make.

I can tell you, it's like turning the Titanic around. It starts will little things. I have increased my protein to about 80gms/day, which helps contain some of the hunger. I drink almost 100-oz of water/day. I weigh and measure my food. I keep a food journal. Is it enough? Probably not. I struggle constantly with hunger. I dream about shopping for food and eating food almost every night. I am never NOT hungry. I'm taking meds that make it all 10 times worse. These changes will help, and they have helped some, but I know from experience that it's very hard to maintain it over the long haul. I feel compassion for your DH because I know some of what he's going through.

 

[Bilberry]

This goes along with something I posted earlier in the thread, and thought to bring up again after see this article on Dr. Guyenet's sight - typically mentioned are three main actions that a person can take on their own that will help with improving the chances of weight loss which are: eating healthier, increased exercise, and the lesser mentioned is improved quality of sleep.

In todays hectic, electronic, stressful word sleep is something often overlooked, but can have a significant impact health. I'm personally a fan of grounded bed sheets. I've found them greatly helpful with improving the quality of my sleep, along with helping improve health in other areas. Other methods can be helpful with quality sleep, such as taking time release melatonin, sleeping in a dark room, avoiding electronics are night, etc.

Saw this article along these lines, about how important sleep is with weight loss on Dr. Guyenet's web sight. Thought to share.

"Sleep and Genetic Obesity Risk"

http://wholehealthsource.blogspot.com/2013/10/sleep-and-genetic-obesity-risk.html

snippet from his piece:

Evidence is steadily accumulating that insufficient sleep increases the risk of obesity and undermines fat loss efforts. Short sleep duration is one of the most significant risk factors for obesity (1), and several potential mechanisms have been identified, including increased hunger, increased interest in calorie-dense highly palatable food, reduced drive to exercise, and alterations in hormones that influence appetite and body fatness. Dan Pardi presented his research at AHS13 showing that sleep restriction reduces willpower to make healthy choices about food....

 

[Wishing on a star]

think there is some confusion now with other's asking questions. I'm op, my dh is a vegetarian , and when he goes to McDonalds he eats 2 apple pies, large fries and a large soda or shake for a snack before the dinner I made,

It sounds like your DH is a secretive eater. It's very similar to being a drug addict: He tries to eat fairly normally at home (stay clean), where somebody will see him, but when he's alone he runs to his favorite fast food place ( his dealer). His drug of choice is fries, soda, pies, and Coke.

I agree with this, above......
It sounds like your husband is not a vegan, vegetarian, or anything else, other than a sugar-processed carb addict. OP, food addiction, and the ways that a diet of, basically, processed sugar and a few processed carbs, will affect the body and the mind, are very real.

YOU can not win over addiction.
NOBODY can win over addiction....
Like any other addiction, drugs, alcohol, etc...
No matter how much one loves their spouse, an addiction will be stronger. The person has to decide that they love THEMSELF enough to make a change.

Is anyone seeing the headline right now, the study about how something like oreos (PURE sugar and cocoa-bean) can be addictive, like cocaine?

I can remember, twice, Chris Powell sent those who had come to him for his weight loss make-over program, into treatment.

And, yes, the secretive eating, and the denial, etc... are all big diagnostic factors (used to come up with the actual diagnosis).

 

[Gumbo4x4]

OP, sounds to me like the best thing your DH could do is start eating meat. Replace some of that crap he eats with 3 ounce portions of lean meat. He's obviously not feeling "satisfied" with the healthier foods, and a little healthy meat might be just what he needs to get past that.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Just a comment, based on the above post, there does not seem to be anything 'healthy' about the foods that have been mentioned.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Just a comment, based on the above post, there does not seem to be anything 'healthy' about the foods that have been mentioned.

Oh, I was referencing the healthy stuff being served at home. He obviously dislikes it, so he's compensating by stuffing himself with crap as soon as he gets out the door. The crap jus happens to be mostly meatless

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, I see!
I did not mean to imply, in any way, that the OP was not doing her best to have healthy foods at home!

 

[Colleen27]

OP, sounds to me like the best thing your DH could do is start eating meat. Replace some of that crap he eats with 3 ounce portions of lean meat. He's obviously not feeling "satisfied" with the healthier foods, and a little healthy meat might be just what he needs to get past that.

That's a good suggestion. I have a friend who went vegetarian for reasons of conscience/morality and ate a lot like the OP describes her DH as eating. She tried to be a healthier vegetarian from time to time but never felt full/satisfied and always ended up reaching for the junk... She did much better once she started eating some meat. She was still particular about it - humanely raised, pastured, direct from the farm meats - but animal protein seemed to be the "hole" in her diet that she was trying to fill with fats and sugars.