Gender profiling... they almost never ask the moms....

[TimandTanya]

Heck, I wouldn't mind having another woman talking to me that many times. As old as I'm getting, it would a real treat to have t4ry4[oneir8gty4t8y[01438gh qgvjbeigtorhip&%$&^%(*&Tg998................sorry, wife just walked by, she saw what i was typing and smacked me in the back of the head.

 

[tzolkin]

I believe that the OP is being asked because he is male. Many people are much more suspicious of men around children than they are of women.

I also would think that if there are only 20-30 students being picked up each day that they would not only recognize the parents, but also remember which kid(s) belong to which parent. Maybe I am wrong. Or maybe our school has given me unrealistic expectations. (If I call the secretary and mention DD's first name, she even knows what teacher she has.)

I would be annoyed, too. Shouldn't they be checking everyone?

That's another issue I always wonder about when I see posts like this. At my children's school all parents must enter the school and sign the kid(s) out. The kids are on the other side of double doors and are let out when they know the parent is there and has signed. (I pick them up just a few times a year and they know who I am.)

 

[Sparx]

I think it is wrong, but why not beat them to the chase. Go up extend your hand and introduce yourself. The next time extend your hand and remind them, "Remember me, I am Mr. So & So, litte Joey's father, I met you a few days ago".

i like this approach.

 

[Becky2005]

So thats a no, to helping at pick-up and drop-off?

However, I can't tell from the first post if these are volunteers. I think they are employees. I know our school does NOT use volunteers for pick-up/drop-off. They are school employees out there, including the Principal. I know it says "teachers & helpers" but are the helpers paid aides/resource teachers/specials teachers?

The only volunteers out at our school during that time are the 5th grade patrols. As much as our school loves volunteers & we have tons of them, during pick-up/drop-off time they would NOT like that at all. They have a system & it works smoothly to get about 600 kids off to home within 15 minutes of the dismissal bell ringing, they don't need to be training new volunteers every year for it.

I would be rather annoyed if an employee I've seen every single day since the beginning of school, has to ask me every time which child I'm picking up BUT doesn't ask everyone else around me who they are picking up. I guess it all depends on the procedure for dismissal.

If it were standard procedure to ask everyone, then I'm sure it wouldn't stand out so much. If it's not standard procedure then I think it would be a little more obvious when the same person is asking only you time & time again. Now, I'm TERRIBLE with names, so I wouldn't be able to tell you the name but I would know you certainly looked familiar and belonged on there if I had seen you what is it now nearly 6 weeks of school (more or less).

 

[Papa Deuce]

...

I would be rather annoyed if an employee I've seen every single day since the beginning of school, has to ask me every time which child I'm picking up BUT doesn't ask everyone else around me who they are picking up. I guess it all depends on the procedure for dismissal.

Well that is one more, and the final thing... I have twin daughters - the only set of girl twins in the school this year. Certainly that is also somewhat "memorable", no?

In fact, most teachers and the principal refer to my kids as "The Girls" or "The Twins".

Look folks, I'm not angry. Maybe just a bit "annoyed". But it was more an observation that another and father and I had... It really is quite obvious; the fathers are getting profiled, whether the women realize it or not.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I am a homeroom captain, too.

When did they start assigning ranks to classroom helpers??

It's an interesting observation, and I've know plenty of fellow teachers who would be likely to behave as you've described.

 

[AntePrincess]

Yep, it's gender profiling. I'm guilty as sin of it, too. Probably because, when I look at the sex offender registry for our city, there are six pages of offenders, not one of whom has a uterus. Then again, I'm only more alert, I don't interrogate men who are out with their kids unless I see something off. I have stopped and confronted a woman in a public restroom who was acting suspiciously around some apparently unattended children, I don't know what her story was, but she left. My husband stopped us on a walk some time ago to confront a strange man who was filming the comings and goings of the school bus. (The strange man was a new neighbor and he was recording his kids' first day of school in the new town. He also appreciated that we asked and we chat pretty often now.)

Let's face it: men molest children and rape adults more often. Crazy women are more likely to kill their babies or lure pregnant women to their households in order to steal the pregnant woman's baby by violence. Men are more likely to blow up buildings. Women are more likely to poison people. It's statistics. Fortunately, none of these scenarios are common, but of the list, rape and molestation are the most likely, and consequently I'm a little more aware of that possibility than the others.

 

[Disney Doll]

Her response would no doubt boil down to "I don't know. I just don't recognize you." How would that benefit him?

Well, from that point on he would be remembered as "the father who got all bent out of shape because I asked him who he was". Not that I am saying he is getting bent out of shape, but I guarantee you that is how the school employee would remember him!

And they wouldn't ask him who he was anymore.

 

[Disney Doll]

Simply introducing himself in a friendly manner would have the same chance of success. There's no need to add drama.

Not necessarily. People tend to remember drama.

 

[Disney Doll]

If you want to hear the prize, let me tell you a story from this past summer at the public pool.

I'm sitting there putting sunscreen on DD, when the lady on the next chair over introduces herself, saying she likes to get to know her temporary pool "neighbors" a little bit. Hokay, not really my style but I'm not against being polite. She appears to be in her late 20's, perhaps early 30's, and she has two young school-aged children with her. She has a good figure, but she's wearing a VERY revealing swimsuit, one I wouldn't have expected to see on anyone over about age 18.

Five minutes or so passes, and she pipes up with, "She's cute. Bet you love taking the grandbaby out for the day."

"Actually, this is my daughter."

Oh, awkward. So she tries again ...

"Really? Wow, you don't look young enough. Oh, I mean, you look like you might be old enough to have a teen who got pregnant, you know?"

OK, so now I'm not only an old hag, but I've probably got an unwed mother for a child? What I really wanted to say was, "Lady, I really suggest that you just shup up now before you hurt yourself" but I didn't; I was determined to try to be polite. I just sort of smiled vaguely and said, "I hope not anytime soon -- my oldest is only 12."

At this point she FINALLY lapses into silence, but only for a while. Her next sally (I kid you not) was,

"Well anyway, your husband is one good-looking man. He's really HOT!"

Me, sighing: "Well, I'll be sure to tell him that you think so."

This falls into my newest theory:

There is no pill that cures stupid.
And if there was, we'd run out of it.

 

[Disney Doll]

I was thinking about other gender profiling things I've encountered.

There is always the famous "car salesman talking to the man even though he has been told it is the woman's car and the woman has proven that has researched the car because she is knowledgeable about said car and the man has told the car salesman to talk to the woman but the car salesman continues to talk to the man" scenario.

Similar scenario happens when a woman walks into any auto repair type place. We don't do too well in hardware stores or Home Depots either, in terms of having the salesperson speak to us if there is a man with us. I have even been standing next to a man who is a stranger and have had the salespeople speak to him with the answer when I have asked the question.

 

[Papa Deuce]

When did they start assigning ranks to classroom helpers??

It's an interesting observation, and I've know plenty of fellow teachers who would be likely to behave as you've described.

Always at my kids school. There is one main coordinator called the captain, and the other are called assistants.

 

[AntePrincess]

Always at my kids school. There is one main coordinator called the captain, and the other are called assistants.

And the one guy participating is always the captain?

 

[shortbun]

Why is it that when men complain about gender inequality they seem to get brushed off so easily?

Because we women are so used to being capsulized and sexually stereotyped that when it happens to a man, we say meh-get used to it. I mean really, put on your big boy pants and move on. You want them to quit protecting your kids? It's men who come to school to hurt their wives, girlfriends and/or kidnap their children. It happened to two kids who rode my bus. Their dad just showed up at school and took them. Later when he was found, he accused their mother(who came happily and lovingly to the bus stop every morning) of being a heroin addict. No one could have stopped him but someone asking him might have made him chicken out. Btw,
I've been asked.

 

[Papa Deuce]

And the one guy participating is always the captain?

Nope... whoever volunteers to be in charge. I only did that this year because I am laid off, so I have the time.

 

[kirbsam]

maybe they have your picture in the teachers lounge, and they are just annoying you on purpose. just kidding. but i dont think my post is any more over the top than some i have read on this thread.

 

[Papa Deuce]

maybe they have your picture in the teachers lounge, and they are just annoying you on purpose. just kidding. but i dont think my post is any more over the top than some i have read on this thread.

Nah... and like I said, it really is just an observation made by two men... it's all good.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Let's face it: men molest children and rape adults more often.

Thanks for saying what I was thinking. No one seems to have had the ******* to come right out and say it on the first three pages. I was also thinking that the fact that he drives a car that is differentiated from the other cars probably calls attention and makes interaction almost guaranteed.

Attendants may be asking the question before really even looking in the window because they may think that an employee of that business might be in the car rather than the owner.

Or how about this: a pedophile with an interest in twins carjacked this unique car right before the school let out and banks on the fact that the attendants will recognize the car and dismiss it, the girls will come running to the car, get in and that's the last you'll see of the car and the girls. People would then be saying, "Why didn't the attendant check?"

Gender profiling happens all the time to both men and women. It's a fact of life. Women have had to learn to deal with it and work around it. If I'm taking the car in for work and I get a mechanic who looks at me like I don't know what I'm doing, I tell him my husband told me thus and so and these are his instructions even though I'm the one who knows what's going on. Unfair and dumb, but my primary purpose for being in that spot at that time is to get the car fixed, not balance the scales or "educate" the guy who I depend on to fix my car.

I have to admit that salesmen are fun for us, though. If they start talking to my DH about something that I'm shopping for, he becomes the "translator": Salesman asks a question that should be directed to me, DH asks me the exact question. I answer DH and DH responds back with the exact same words to the salesman.

After about three or four rounds of this Galaxy Quest idiocy of repeating what the computer says ("Look! I have one job on this lousy ship, it's *stupid*, but I'm gonna do it! Okay?") the salesman eventually gets it and starts conversing with both of us.

Gender profiling happens. It's annoying, but it happens. Figure out how to use it to your advantage.

 

[AKL_Megs]

As a WOMAN, I think this makes me angry... angry because this lady who you have talked to TEN TIMES can't seem to remember you. That, and you are involved in school volunteering.

When I was in 8th grade, another 8th grade girl and I were in charge of the 1st grade drop off. We would watch the 1st grade kids in a corridor until school started.

I can STILL almost remember each and every DAD who dropped off a kid, and this was like, 15 years ago! I can even remember the CARS they drove! How hard is it to remember people? Not very.

I'm sarcastic... I would print off a memo with your picture and name on it to give to this woman the next time she tries to bother you.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Thanks for saying what I was thinking. No one seems to have had the ******* to come right out and say it on the first three pages. I was also thinking that the fact that he drives a car that is differentiated from the other cars probably calls attention and makes interaction almost guaranteed.

So, along that line of thinking... would my car not be far more memorable?

Plus, what idiot would take a well decorated and recognizable car into a car loop 10x a week if he was going to abduct kids?