Gambling Problem Solution?

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Basically you are handing her a fish instead of forcing her to learn how to fish. You tried this once and it didn’t work. Yet you are doing it again.

And I have to say, based on reading all of your responses I think you like being her savior.

Canceling your own vacation because a friend is about to lose her apartment is over the top. She’s not dying, and she isn’t family. She isn’t even a friend you consider family.

But I suspect that this is one of those threads where the OP didn’t get the reaction they wanted so they never return.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

If you pay for 3 months of rent, what will she do for the 4th?

Let her get evicted. Let her lose everything. Let her hit rock bottom.

 

[elsbit]

The man spoke with her husband last night. Apparently he is aware of the the debts as well as her gambling problem.
She joined a support group earlier this year and to the best of his knowledge hasn't slipped up yet.
I wouldn't be surprised if she falls back at some point since it seems it happens quite a bit with recovering addicts.

Her husband was surprised she told me about the problem and gladdened since it seems it's part of the therapy to tell others even though he knows she hasn't told their parents yet.
Everything else is on hold until I meet with them this weekend.

I find it interesting that this friendship was brought on by the man's relationship with her husband, yet the husband never said one word about the problem to your man, despite you giving them (yes, THEM) money earlier this year to help out. I find it odd that the husband did not reach out and say thank you when he found out that you lent money.

By giving them money again, you are enabling. Plain and simple. Even if you work out a "loan" (which will likely never be paid). It is time for them to go to their parents (not that the parents need to solve this problem either) not keep going back to the easy friend with the deep pockets.

What have they been doing to remedy this situation? Have either of them picked up another job? Sold some stuff? Cut out on extras? I would be hard eyeballing those factors as well.

I understand being there for your friends, but I do think you need to take a look at yourself and your inclination to help them out and be a "fixer." I don't mean that in an offensive way.

Ultimately, this is your money and you can do what you want with it. Me personally, after the first help, I wouldn't do the second. I would be saving that money for my DGD's bright future, instead of someone who is continuing to make poor decisions.