"You eat what I cook/serve or you don't eat."
I have seen a version of this brought up many times. I find it quite hypocritical.
Anyone who says this is exerting control over someone else. The person is dictating what another person gets to eat. But who decides what to cook? Presumably the one doing the cooking, so it stands to reason the cook is making something he/she feels like eating, and enjoys.
However, when a child tries to exert control over what food goes into his own mouth, he is shot down. Why is this okay? Why do we teach kids to just "shut up and do as I say?" How does this help them learn to navigate life and assert themselves and make their own choices? What does this teach them about questioning people who have power over them when they are being asked to do something very much against their will?
Why is it so hard for some parents to give up some modicum of control in order to make their children happy at mealtimes? Food is meant to be nourishing, but it is also one of life's pleasures to be enjoyed. I find it so sad that so many people seem to be okay with such hard line parenting on this topic.
I can understand extreme situations like poverty, where food choices are limited. I'm certainly not advocating letting your child eat ice cream and cookies for every meal. I believe in offering choices and teaching children to eat balanced, healthy meals by example. For almost 13 years, I have offered and encouraged my kids to try what I am eating, at every opportunity. Sometimes they do. More often, they don't want to. But, who am I to force food into their mouths or make them go hungry? That sounds like jail to me, not being a loving parent.
Can you imagine going to a restaurant, having the waiter order for you without your input, and then saying "you will eat what I bring out or you won't eat." How would that make you feel?
