Funny comments to doctors/nurses

[disneysteve]

Ok medical folks, let's hear those stories. I know you've all got them. Tell us some funny things you've had patients say at the doctor's office, hospital, dentist, etc. I'm a family doctor and barely a day goes by that someone doesn't say or do something worth a laugh. Here are 3 examples from the past week.

1. Just after I arrived to open the office at about 8:15, one of my patients came in for her appointment. She waited in the waiting room until my receptionist arrived. My receptionist mentioned how early she was since her appointment was for 9:45. Well, the patient insisted that was wrong. She said she was sure her appointment was for 8:28. She knew that was right because after she left last time she went home and wrote that down. The facts that our office opens at 9:00 and we only schedule appointments every 15 minutes couldn't convince her she had remembered incorrectly.

2. My nurse checks in each patient and writes a brief reason for the visit on the chart before I enter the room. I picked up the chart for my next patient, a teenage girl, and the note said "vomiting." So I was a bit surprised to walk in and see her sitting there eating a bag of cheese doodles and drinking a can of Pepsi. Clearly vomiting was no longer a problem. Turns out she had vomited once during the nite but had then eaten a full breakfast with no trouble and the healthy snack she brought to the office with her. She actually felt perfectly fine and I could find nothing wrong with her and sent her on her way.

Last example: Patients always say they want a doctor who is a good listener. Well, I'd like to get some patients with the same skill. Its amazing how many people can not give a simple answer to a simple question. Here is a typical conversation that actually occurred earlier today between a patient (P) and my receptionist (R).

P: I need to get a referral.
R: Ok. What doctor are you going to?
P: My appointment is tomorrow at 8am.
R: That's good. Which doctor are you seeing?
P: I went there last month and he wanted to see me back in 4 weeks.
R: Can you tell me the doctor's name so I can do the referral?
P: His office is on Spruce St.
R: Alright. If you give me his name I'll make up the referral for you.

Some days I wish there was something besides water in the cooler

 

[wdwmom2]

Not a funny story, but here is one thing that sticks in my mind...

Last summer my office manager got a voicemail from a mother whose child sees the doc that I assist. She complained that she didn't like the shirt that I was wearing. She said that she really liked me and my doc, but not my shirt. My manager called me into the office and asked me what this was about. She knows what shirts I wear, she sees me everyday, nothing inappropriate. She was as puzzled as I was. Well the shirt that offended was the one that I wore the day before. It was a black t-shirt with Cinderella'a castle in silver glitter and the words Walt Disney World below it in the same glitter. I had just gotten it on our trip to WDW in the Beach Club gift shop. So tell me, what was so offending?? The mom never said what offended her about the shirt, so I'm not sure what her problem with it was............she's probably a Mickey Mouse hater......grrrrrrrrr

 

[JennyMominRI]

Ok medical folks, let's hear those stories. I know you've all got them. Tell us some funny things you've had patients say at the doctor's office, hospital, dentist, etc. I'm a family doctor and barely a day goes by that someone doesn't say or do something worth a laugh. Here are 3 examples from the past week.

1. Just after I arrived to open the office at about 8:15, one of my patients came in for her appointment. She waited in the waiting room until my receptionist arrived. My receptionist mentioned how early she was since her appointment was for 9:45. Well, the patient insisted that was wrong. She said she was sure her appointment was for 8:28. She knew that was right because after she left last time she went home and wrote that down. The facts that our office opens at 9:00 and we only schedule appointments every 15 minutes couldn't convince her she had remembered incorrectly.

2. My nurse checks in each patient and writes a brief reason for the visit on the chart before I enter the room. I picked up the chart for my next patient, a teenage girl, and the note said "vomiting." So I was a bit surprised to walk in and see her sitting there eating a bag of cheese doodles and drinking a can of Pepsi. Clearly vomiting was no longer a problem. Turns out she had vomited once during the nite but had then eaten a full breakfast with no trouble and the healthy snack she brought to the office with her. She actually felt perfectly fine and I could find nothing wrong with her and sent her on her way.

Last example: Patients always say they want a doctor who is a good listener. Well, I'd like to get some patients with the same skill. Its amazing how many people can not give a simple answer to a simple question. Here is a typical conversation that actually occurred earlier today between a patient (P) and my receptionist (R).

P: I need to get a referral.
R: Ok. What doctor are you going to?
P: My appointment is tomorrow at 8am.
R: That's good. Which doctor are you seeing?
P: I went there last month and he wanted to see me back in 4 weeks.
R: Can you tell me the doctor's name so I can do the referral?
P: His office is on Spruce St.
R: Alright. If you give me his name I'll make up the referral for you.

Some days I wish there was something besides water in the cooler

What sort of MD are you?

 

[MsDisney23]

Hey Dr. Steve, I am not in the medical field, but let me tell ya something. I just spend 2 months in The University of Maryland Medical Center as a patient. MY dh and I heard and saw everything. I mean everything from other patient's. I was so thankful that I had a private room....

 

[disneysteve]

Not a funny story, but here is one thing that sticks in my mind...

Reminds me of one from years ago. I had a patient who was nice enough but a little bit looney. She also happened to be a columnist for the local paper. One day she wrote a column about me. Well it was actually more about my 7 Dwarfs tie. She wasn't sure if she could trust a doctor who wore cartoon characters on his tie. Her end result was to have some faith but we all got quite a laugh out of that.

 

[Puffy2]

Not really medical related, but I was a nurse ages ago at a community hospital that was relatively out in the sticks (very rural). I was having pleasant conversation with an elderly woman who was sharing a room with another elderly woman who happened to be unconscious. The woman I was speaking with was telling me a little about her room mate, "She's a White, and she married a White," she said.

"Oh?" I replied, "She married someone with the same last name?"

"Oh, no, honey, she married her OWN PEOPLE," the elderly woman replied.

 

[C.Ann]

My doctor is always amazed that when I come to see him I already know what's wrong and I tell him so..

He'll then say to me, "If you already knew what was wrong, why did you come to see me?"

And I respond, "To get a second opinion.."

 

[disneysteve]

What sort of MD are you?

None actually. I'm a DO. Family Practice.

I like your sig line BTW. I actually just saw Leon Sher 2 weeks ago. He's the one who wrote the music for that song. He perfomed at our synagogue and has been songleader for our fall retreat for many years.

 

[wdwmom2]

Reminds me of one from years ago. I had a patient who was nice enough but a little bit looney. She also happened to be a columnist for the local paper. One day she wrote a column about me. Well it was actually more about my 7 Dwarfs tie. She wasn't sure if she could trust a doctor who wore cartoon characters on his tie. Her end result was to have some faith but we all got quite a laugh out of that.

The male pediatritian in my practice always wears ties that have child type characters on them. After all, we are a pediatric practice, and they are to amuse the children, help them feel more comfortable. I think that they are very tasteful and cute!!!! And he is a wonderful and intellegent doc to boot!!!!

 

[Puffy2]

And when I was an IV Nurse,

A patient (not quite with it) who ripped out her IV, shoved the pole out into the hall and announced that "she didn't like this hotel and she was leaving!"



Dr. Steve, if you don't mind me asking. What sort of advice would you give to a young person who wants to become a doctor? How should they proceed in school, extra curricular activities, hobbies, etc... to increase their chances of being admitted to medical school? Any tips, advice?

 

[JennyMominRI]

My doctor is always amazed that when I come to see him I already know what's wrong and I tell him so..

He'll then say to me, "If you already knew what was wrong, why did you come to see me?"

And I respond, "To get a second opinion.."

I'm often more knowledgeable than my doctors..They tell me that.. I mean If I'm seeing the Cardiologist,I often have to explain treatment options for HIV..If I see the Neuro,same thing..It's not that I know more..It's that they are specialist in..whatever, Say heart,so they may not be up to date on the latest HIV treatments

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

My dad's a P.A. and he always comes home with a funny story about one of his patients. He told us about a young girl (well not that young, she was 20) who came in for a checkup with her mom. Well at some point she mentioned she hadnt been feeling well and it turns out she was pregnant. When my dad informed her of the results she looked shocked:

Dad: "Well congratulations, you're pregnant."
Girl: "...What?"
Mom: "WHAT?!"
Dad: "...you're pregnant."
Girl: "That's impossible."
Dad: "Uh, are you sexually active?"
Girl: "No..."
Dad: "I see...so are you the modern Virgin Mary?"
Mom: "I'm going to kill you -insert girls name-"
Girl: "I swear mom, I've never had sex!"
Dad: "Well trust me, you can't get pregnant from kissing."
Girl: "...well there was that one time..."
Mom: "I'm going to kill you -insert girls name-"
Dad: "Ah yeah...that's what I thought."

 

[orangeblossom]

Not really medical related, but I was a nurse ages ago at a community hospital that was relatively out in the sticks (very rural). I was having pleasant conversation with an elderly woman who was sharing a room with another elderly woman who happened to be unconscious. The woman I was speaking with was telling me a little about her room mate, "She's a White, and she married a White," she said.

"Oh?" I replied, "She married someone with the same last name?"

"Oh, no, honey, she married her OWN PEOPLE," the elderly woman replied.

LOL...too funny

 

[Microcell]

Well, I work for an eye doctor, and a patient called and said he was having trouble figuring out which contact lens went in which eye. I suggested trying it both eyes, but we could also read it and see if he needed. He thought that was a good idea. Well, he came in with a -200 in one eye and -600 in the other, quite a difference. We had no idea why in the world he couldn't figure it out!

 

[snappy]

I remember my first visit with my endicrinologist in New Orleans. My OB found a lump on my thyroid gland and referred me to the specialist.
He examined me, told me what it was and within 10 minutes of meeting me was steering me towards having a fine needle aspiration. I am not sure what I was expecting bu this was certainly not it. I told him, you realize I just met you and you want to put a needle in my neck? He said yes.
I told him I needed to go to the bathroom. When I returned from pulling myself together, I was ready for the procedure. It wasn't bad, he was very skilled, it was over so quick.

 

[Amberle3]

Not a patient story, but a doctor story:

I have a great doctor. I hate the clinic that he's moved his practice into and the nurses there are a royal pain, but I keep going there because he's a great doctor. One of those that just seems to instinctively know what's wrong with you, and even though he's got to be at least 65 he keeps on top of all the latest research. So one day I was in his office, getting a flu shot. I hate needles, and in fact last time I gave blood I fainted. As he was getting ready to give me the shot I turned my head and said "I just can't look" and he said "Well if you're not going to, then I'm not looking either!"

 

[snappy]

Ah, a doc with a sense of humor. Priceless!!

 

[candykisses]

My husband was in the trauma center of a Pittsburgh hospital for 4 months. After 8 weeks in a rehab facility he had to do a follow up visit to his surgeon. The ambulance attendants wheeled my husband in another entrance while I signed him in.

I took a seat in the large, crowded waiting room and started reading my book. Someone said "Candy, I've been looking for you." I looked up and stared for a moment then said "Oh, Dr. Townsend, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

OMG You could have heard a pin drop in that waiting room. Then everyone started to laugh. I was so embarrassed.

 

[wdwmom2]

Not a patient story, but a doctor story:

I have a great doctor. I hate the clinic that he's moved his practice into and the nurses there are a royal pain, but I keep going there because he's a great doctor. One of those that just seems to instinctively know what's wrong with you, and even though he's got to be at least 65 he keeps on top of all the latest research. So one day I was in his office, getting a flu shot. I hate needles, and in fact last time I gave blood I fainted. As he was getting ready to give me the shot I turned my head and said "I just can't look" and he said "Well if you're not going to, then I'm not looking either!"

I have to give all the vaccinations to our pediatric patients. The mom's will tell me, "I'm not looking" when I go to give the shots. I just say, "Me neither". This always gets their attention!!!

 

[Pin Wizard]

LOL! That's too true, candykisses. Just last week I was at the urgent care center for refills on meds. The next day I was at the mall and could have sworn the doc walked past, but I wasn't sure. I wanted to say...Can you put a white lab coat on so I can be sure you're who I think you are? LOL!

Actually, I think the best one was courtesy of my son who was about four years old at the time. Got to know his pediatrician a bit better through his being chairman of a committee at the hospital where I worked. Sat next to him at every meeting and took minutes. One day we were discussing kids and the things they come out with. I told him that my son said if I'm going to remarry, I should marry Dr. David! He said that's quite a compliment coming from a little one!