Funny announcements CMs make?

[kcool]

This past Christmas was our first trip to Disney. We had Breakfast at Chef Mickey's and then were on our way to Hollywood Studios. We had wanted to ride the monorail, so we hopped on there and thought we would get off at MK and take a bus over. We did not realize that we needed to get off at the TTC, so we decided to take the boat back to the TTC. So, I asked the CM at the boat dock it this took us to the TTC and he said "No mam, the dock stays here, the boat will take you to the TTC!" I thought that it was funny!

 

[Joanna71985]

Upon exiting a tram in 2005. "Folks..please watch your step and if you forget to watch your step....please watch your language!"

Thought it was a good one!!

I've also heard it at JC. I love it!

 

[mickeyluv'r]

On the parking trams/boats/busses/in ride queues - anything that isn't scripted.

On an Epcot parking tram around park closing: "This tram only accesses the following lots....This tram does NOT access any resorts, busses, taxi stands, other parks, your house, my house, the Waffle House or the White House."

You remind me of somethign similar I heard once on the BWK area boat. on one trip a boat driver said the next stop was the Magic Kingdom. On another the boat driver listed that this was NOT the boat back to the Polynesian, the Grand Floridian, the Contemporary, or Wilderness Lodge.

There's always variations of the threat that 'unwanted children and spouses will be left in IaSW.' I also once head another take on this that involved being locked in the Stitch ride for chili burps.

 

[Feralpeg]

And, the line I hear every time I wear a t-shirt with Pooh on it. "Miss, did you realize there is a little pooh on your shirt?"

 

[MouseyMin]

This happened a while ago on the Jungle Cruise. We were stopped for a while waiting to get into the dock and the Skipper began talking to a little boy (about 5 or 6) who was wearing a Winnie baseball cap. After a while he asked him "do you know you have a little Pooh on your head?" The entire boat cracked up!

 

[Osjah&Landon'sMom]

Just remembered another... the guy checking bags into MK was poking through my belly bag and DD9 said... "what are you looking for?" he said "Mousetraps" The lady checking bags next to him said... "Candy"

 

[doconeill]

And at my regular job at the Typhoon Lagoon turnstiles: When for some reason the biometric scanners are turned off: "The finger scans are turned off. You could have left your fingers back in the room this morning".

Heh...I would tell them to stop giving me the finger...

Shortly after the Haunted Mansion update, we went there early in the day to check it out, but they apparently were already having issues and it didn't open up on time. The CM out front was pseudo-quoting Ghostbusters lines, like "We've had an interdimensional cross rip of biblical proportions", etc. I said he was quoting the wrong franchise...

The JetBlue pilots like to joke a bit. Just after taking off from Boston to Orlando, the pilot came on and thanked us "for flying JetBlue and we will be arriving in Columbus, Ohio in about an hour..."

And speaking the "Watch your head...language", I've heard that in several places...and every time I hear it, for some reason I hit my head...

 

[Disnsyncey]

I love all the times the JC skippers go off script.....but one of my favs is:

"My name is Sandy, and I hope you have enjoyed your trip on the world famous Jungle Cruise, if you didn't, my name is Shannon and this has been Pirates of the Caribbean"

 

[doconeill]

That reminds me...the JC skipper one day that was an EMH that night said something like, "And now we come to the end of your cruise. Not mine - you get to get off now and do what you want - I have to stay and keep riding...for five...more...hours..."

 

[Bounce_Tigger]

That reminds me...the JC skipper one day that was an EMH that night said something like, "And now we come to the end of your cruise. Not mine - you get to get off now and do what you want - I have to stay and keep riding...for five...more...hours..."

I heard a similar JC joke, around the "backside of water:" "Heres a sight you don't see too often. Except that I do. 25 times a day...every day. Stay in school kids

 

[chrisisbuckwild]

jungle cruse

1.on the jungle cruise the lady said "oh that hippo looks like its gonna charge...(she leans over to the hippo and says) sorry hippo, we only take cash".

2. when you enter the shirly temple cave thing she said "oh no, i dont think this is good, i dont know where were going, and then she said who im i kidding, this is disney world were going to a gift shop"

3. there was a hold up and we were just sitting there and she goes this is an opportunity to show you my favorite plants....see that one, its my favorite...its green

 

[disneymd33]

The JetBlue pilots like to joke a bit. Just after taking off from Boston to Orlando, the pilot came on and thanked us "for flying JetBlue and we will be arriving in Columbus, Ohio in about an hour..."QUOTE]


That's just cruel! Incredibly funny, but cruel!

We were on the bus heading to AK one morning and the bus driver was making jokes (they were very funny ones too but my little pea brain can't remember them) and asking everyone where they are from. A kid, about the age of 4, yelled "ANIMAL KINGDOM!!!!" When we pulled into the gate the bus driver said "we are now arriving at Animal Kingdom. And for the the little kid in the second row, you're home."

 

[Dolce27]

"Any left behind will be sent to Small World"!

And will have their feet nailed to the floor, taught the song in 35 (?) different languages to sing all day, every day, and then in six months packed up and shipped home to you.



I had to take the tram for my very first time in October. It was 1:00 AM (after a MNSSHP) and the tram guys were having so much fun that had the MK not been dry, I would have wondered if they were getting into a little something back stage.

The announcer wanted to show us something that's never been done before: the tram going in two directions at once.

The tram had made a U-turn and was long enough for the driver to head back in the other direction - and pass us while doing so. He happily waved at us as he drove on by.

I was one of the last people let off the tram that night and the announcer called out to us to not fall asleep at the wheel - he didn't want to read about us in the newspapers the next day.

As I was facing a three hour drive on the FL turnpike, I took note.

They were funny, unfortunately I can't recall all that was said but I was laughing so hard.

 

[duffy]

When we went for our dinner at Le Cellier last Feb., I heard a waiter tell her customer, "I'll sit you next to a window so you can watch the fireworks."

I'll never forget browsing in a shop by Pirates of the Caribbean, and hearing a clerk tell my daughter (who was about 9): "look at that guy over there. Check out his socks." So my daughter wandered over and oh so casually glanced down at the other guy's socks. Which of course were proper "pirate" socks, long and stripey. As soon as she glanced at them, he said, "Hey! Don't look at my socks!!"

It was obviously a set up, and the 2 workers chose their victim well. She looked up at him, terrified, until they-and I-started laughing.

 

[southtexasmom]

These are all good.

Once the security guy was checking my bags, (I always take lots of snacks in), he very calmly looked me right in the eye and said "Ma'am what is your mobile phone number?" I was shocked and asked why. He said "if I get hungry I know who to call". It took me a few minutes to get it but DH immediately thought it was funny.

 

[Buzz Litebeer]

I thought they used dolls in its a small world not people

They do. That's why it's a joke.

 

[AMVmom]

I LOVE this thread!

About ten years ago (before we had children or BC) on the Jungle Cruise this CM was talking to some kids and then he looked at the parents and said "I love kids . . . especially with ketchup." Unfortunately I don't think the parents close to him appreciated that joke as they started inching further away from him but everyone else laughed!

 

[Stacerita]

"Don't laugh. I was the hula-dancing girl there for 15 years."

I thought I recognized you.

Upon exiting a tram in 2005. "Folks..please watch your step and if you forget to watch your step....please watch your language!"

Thought it was a good one!!

 

[topmonkeygirl]

While getting out of the doombuggy a CM was say "Take children firmly by the hair."

 

[a*lil*bit*goofy]

Here's one....

first night in WDW, just sitting down for our ADR for 1900 P.F.
Waitress comes over, and says to my mum (loud enough for us and at least two tables over to hear) "...and i see that there will be a surprise birthday cake brought out at the end of the meal?"



ok

so it wasn't funny at the time. Two years later, I finally see (appreciate?) the irony in it.

(I had planned it FOREVER! and it was FOR MY MUM! grumble. )