Fundraisers for wedding what do you think?

[sissy_ib]

This would offend me so much!! No, I am not giving someone a bridal shower gift, a wedding present and cash. NO! If you cant afford to have a big wedding don't have one! You know what I see weddings as? A big "look at how much money I can spend on one day!"

I know the OP said the brides family is paying for this wedding. You don't "deserve" to get gifts just because you signed a piece of paper! Uggg! I'm sorry but the entitlement of people my age just drives me insane! We didn't even register for our wedding. We went on a cruise and got married in St Thomas. Why? So we didn't have to deal with all the "other" stuff a wedding entails. I didn't want people to fell like they had to give me stuff. I already have things. Too many things as a matter of fact.
I didn't want to spend all that money so other people could have a good time. I wanted a nice quite day with my new husband. That is what a wedding should be about IMHO. The bride and groom.
A few people, like my in-laws, gave us some cash but it was a total surprise to us. I don't care who it is, I'm not just giving people cash because they want it.

And I also thought a Jack and Jill was just a bridal shower where men came as well. Maybe I haven't been to enough weddings but I don't know why a bride needs a bridal shower with gifts and wedding gifts.

 

[disneymom3]

This is not to pay for the wedding but rather to just get extra money on top of it all. Her dad is paying for the wedding her budget isn't very large but he is taking care of it.

Good grief. This is the most bizarre and tacky thing I have ever heard of. Though doing it to pay for the wedding might be a tiny bit worse. Either way, it's appalling.

 

[DiznyDi]

I'd send my regrets.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

In that case, you should send them an invitation to a fund-raiser for your next Disney trip.. see how they feel I would refuse to go.. sorry, but drive a BMW & Land Rover and you are fund-raising to pay for your wedding.. nope, not with my money your not..

 

[christineann]

Incredibly tacky!

 

[Pooh2]

The only two Jack and Jills I have been to were held INSTEAD of a bridal shower.

One was very tacky, pot luck and raffles and felt like a fundraiser. The other was a classy sit down dinner with dancing. We "purchased" tickets for each event. The money from the tickets was given to the bride and groom at the end of the night as their gift instead of shower gifts.

In OPs situation, I would politely decline the Jack and Jill and just attend the shower.

 

[want2bamommy]

In that case, you should send them an invitation to a fund-raiser for your next Disney trip.. see how they feel

That would be great!

 

[meriface11]

this could be a regional thing. around here the girls have showers and bachelorette parties and the boys have stags--ticketed events with money raising games and raffles. where i was raised, guys have bachelor parties with a few close friends, but with these stags, basically everyone the guy has ever known gets invited. i guess the thing is you either go to them or buy the ticket, and when your turn comes around, everyone does the same for you. the stags typically raise thousands of dollars for the groom. when i have been invited to jack and jills, it's in lieu of the girl having a bachelor party. i had never heard of this until i moved to CT, but it seems to be the norm here.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

Perhaps it's just because I'm a southerner, but that sounds ridiculously tacky to me!

I can't believe they're okay with openly asking for money and holding a fundraiser! If any relative/friend tried to do that for me, I'd be sooo unbelievably embarrased!!!

 

[jacksmom]

Agree! Tacky!

 

[quirty30]

Wow - never seen the word "tacky" used so much in one thread. And I have to agree. If someone chooses to give cash as a wedding gift, and help the couple get started in their new life together, that's great, but to flat out have a "fundraiser" in addition to showers and wedding presents - that's just ridiculous. I would be appalled to receive such an invitation, and I'd definitely decline.

 

[brymolmom]

What is with the world today?

Ummm...do the bride and groom have iphones with data plans? Then I'm guessing if they can afford a LUXURY like this (and my guess is many, many others) - then absolutely they should not be asking friends and family to attend an extra 'event' fundraiser.

Why do people assume today that they are 'entitled' to a big fancy wedding? However, they obviously don't want it so much that they want to WORK, SACRIFICE and SAVE to achieve it.

I think my opinion on this is obvious. But then I only had my bridesmaids spend $30 each on a dress off the rack. I can't imagine asking friends/family to spend hundreds of dollars when the only important thing is that they are there to share in the special day.

Just found out my BIL and SIL who spent in the area of $20,000 (actually likely a lot more - I'm underestimating) for their dd's wedding a few years ago apparently haven't been paying their mortgage for a few years and are likely going to get evicted sometime soon. The world just doesn't make sense to me when people would think that this even makes the slightest bit of sense. But I guess one good thing is they didn't do fundraising from the family for the event! Thank goodness...

 

[disykat]

I can't imagine throwing myself a party and charging admission - ever.

 

[treehugnmama]

Around here it is a stag and doe. The wedding party and friends and family sell tickets. Usually they are 5$. I bought one last night to support a couple with no intention of going. People just buy tickets. There will be raffles and beer and food food is no charge. Lots of games poker etc to raise money. People still have a shower. It is just how it is done here. I assumed it was like that everywhere. The things I learn on the dis lol

 

[Keira1387]

In that case, you should send them an invitation to a fund-raiser for your next Disney trip.. see how they feel I would refuse to go.. sorry, but drive a BMW & Land Rover and you are fund-raising to pay for your wedding.. nope, not with my money your not..

This! ^^^

 

[Gigi22]

I've attended a couple of Jack and Jills/Stag and Doe (or is that Dough?) events. In both cases it was for my SILs and their fiances, my DH was OK with it, and I was stuck going along for the ride. Only realizing when we got to the event how really awful it was. It was basically a chance for the bride and groom to get everyone liquored up so that they could grab yet more money from their friends and relations. Tacky is a huge understatement. I was so embarrassed by the sheer greed and crassness of the whole thing.

 

[JeffreyY]

I've never heard of a jack and Jill or a stag and doe, but here in the NYC area we have showers and engagement parties where you give gifts. For the wedding itself we usually give cash, between $125 - $200 PP.

 

[Gigi22]

Deleted, duplicate post.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

I've never heard of such a thing. Here in my part of the South, we have bridal showers. OP, I would conveniently have a "conflict" and I would not be able to attend, so no need to "buy a ticket."

 

[EMom]

Tacky is a kind word for it. I'd be tempted to out-tacky them and tell them to bite me. What are they doing with their incomes? Spending like drunken sailors?