Fundraisers for wedding what do you think?

[kimblebee]

It's all legal. You have to have a liquor license to sell the alcohol, you have to have paid off duty police officers at the door, and you have to check ID to make sure everyone is over 19 years old.



Also cash is the what most people give as wedding gifts here as well. We had 250 guests at our wedding and I would say we only got about 10 gifts to actually open, the rest were cards with cash in them.

I fear we are fighting a losing battle.

My province is home to something to called a social. Seriously, it's something we're known for.

Tickets are $10 a person and they are most popular in the winter as most people around here have summer weddings. Too damn cold in the winter LOL

There are drink tickets ($3.00? $3.50?) and also silent auction tickets. There are usually 15-25 prizes and a few larger prizes (flat screen tv, BBQ). Tickets are usually $20 for 40 tickets for smaller prizes and $5 each for big prizes. Usually there is a 50/50 and 'perfume' draw too (40 of rye )

There is a DJ and a buffet table is set up later on. Always with rye bread, cheeses, pickles and lunch meat. Social food

I don't drink but I usually end up spending $40 at the social for all the various prize tickets. Sometimes I know the couple, sometimes it's the friend of a friend. It doesn't matter.

Here, it is not tacky AT ALL. People are always talking about the latest social and asking if you know of one coming up and do you have tickets LOL

The social is organized by the best man and maid of honor. All money raised first goes to cover expenses and whatever is left over goes to the couple.

I went to one last weekend for people I didn't know, one this weekend for a cousin, one at the end of the month for a friend of my brothers and one next month for the friend of a friend. Social season is in full swing.

 

[NYEmomma]

So is this just a Canadian thing?? I've seen a couple people mention Canada but wasn't sure if all the respondents who said stag & doe parties were common were from Canada. My brother is currently living in Ottawa with his girlfriend who is from WAY northern Ontario... we're hoping he pops the question soon so it'll be interesting to see if this stag & doe thing is something that she knows about/plans on doing.

Standing on the outside, having heard of it for the very first time, it sounds quite tacky to me. But if I were from a region where it was common, I probably wouldn't have any problem with it.

I'm not originally from Ohio and all my family is still out of state -- the region where we're from, the dollar dance is VERY common. Expected, even (complete with the complimentary shot after you've had your dance with the bride or groom). So we had it at our wedding. None of DH's family really participated in it so I got the impression that it wasn't something commonly done in northeast Ohio.

 

[Sugar Jones]

So, the hall handles all the liquor then? 'cause getting set up to sell booze isn't cheap. I know when the Jaycees here hold their annual mud race, the insurance for the event is less than $400. The separate insurance policy for beer sales is more than $1,000 for one night. That's just the insurance - the liquor license is separate (although actually much cheaper). They're still not permitted to do any raffles though despite being a charity. Getting approved for that's even tougher.

Yes there is a special license for stag & does, and you have to have special insurance.

We are from a rural area, so most of the time the meal is a roast pig that a family member donates.

Some stag & does only earn enough to cover the expenses of the party, and others are very profitable. It really depends on a lot of things.

We made enough at ours to cover our airfare to Hawaii for our honeymoon.

 

[aprilgail2]

Maid of Honor/Best Man stand beside the Bride/Groom and collect money while the person dances with the Bride/Groom. Sometimes people give $1, sometimes $20--depends on what they want to give--and there are no hard feelings or any difference if it is $1 vs $20. The money is put in a glass vase. I can see how this could be tacky, but honestly, had never thought about it being tacky because in our area, it happens at every wedding.

sounds like a pimp LOL. totally tacky practice!

 

[crisi]

It's funny, people that wanted to dance with me just tapped me on the shoulder and said "Can I have a dance with the bride?" Who knew it was that simple to ask a lady to dance!

Because in some circles, that would be a tacky move in and of itself for a great uncle to do. In the few hours for a dance, there are a limited number of dances, she isn't going to be able to give a dance with everyone - nor does she want to. One of the things the dollar dance does is it gives people 30 seconds or so of dancing with the bride. That means during about ten minutes of the reception you get all those friends of your parents, shirt tail relatives, etc., who aren't going to ask for a whole dance, and who often need something slowish and non romantic and aren't going to be out during the Electric Slide.

 

[shamrock30]

A relative of mine and his future wife are planning a similar event as the OP's relatives. They are both from the same state in the northeast, and no one on our side of the family has ever heard of anything like this before, or thinks it's anything but a horrendously tacky idea. I don't think they are calling it a fundraiser on the invitation, but they told us it was the intent. They are not young people either. They expect people to buy tickets, certainly not for $5, and to bring gifts. They are going to hire a band, and make more money by selling things like "jello shots".

To me, the words "guest" and "admision fee" don't go together.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

We are from a rural area, so most of the time the meal is a roast pig that a family member donates.

Well, that does make the whole thing more appealing to me

 

[angierae]

I think the issue is that what the Canadian posters are describing does not at all sound like a "Fundraiser for a wedding" but more just a party to raise money to gift to the bride and groom. While I have never heard of such a thing, that in and of itself does not seem "tacky" to me.

Now, if you were doing this because you couldn't afford your wedding, that's a bit more questionable. But the Canadian "Stag and Doe" party doesn't sound like a "wedding fundraiser" to me at all.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I believe the Canadians (and correct me if I'm wrong) are typically doing these parties instead of the traditional shower & bachelor/bachelorette parties - rather than "in addition to".

Right?

 

[kkandaj]

I think the issue is that what the Canadian posters are describing does not at all sound like a "Fundraiser for a wedding" but more just a party to raise money to gift to the bride and groom. While I have never heard of such a thing, that in and of itself does not seem "tacky" to me.

Now, if you were doing this because you couldn't afford your wedding, that's a bit more questionable. But the Canadian "Stag and Doe" party doesn't sound like a "wedding fundraiser" to me at all.

Completely agree with this! The version described by the Canadians seems like a blast. Can I be invited?

The version of raising money to have your wedding...what? Weird!

 

[kimblebee]

I believe the Canadians (and correct me if I'm wrong) are typically doing these parties instead of the traditional shower & bachelor/bachelorette parties - rather than "in addition to".

Right?

We still have showers, and bachelor/ette parties. Our socials do not need invitations. You try to sell tickets to whoever wants to go. Like I said, I don't even know some of the people I go to socials for. You don't bring gifts either. You can spend as little or as much as you want on alcohol and various raffle tickets. The only cost is the $10 to get in the door.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

We still have showers, and bachelor/ette parties. Our socials do not need invitations. You try to sell tickets to whoever wants to go. Like I said, I don't even know some of the people I go to socials for. You don't bring gifts either. You can spend as little or as much as you want on alcohol and various raffle tickets. The only cost is the $10 to get in the door.

That sounds more like the dances we had around here when I was a teen & a bit older, only it was unusual for the "host" to be anyone other than either the owners of the hall, or the band that was playing that night. Hardly ever see 'em anymore though.

edit: back before they made it big, REO Speedwagon hosted many such events here at our city auditorium

 

[chimilady]

Because in some circles, that would be a tacky move in and of itself for a great uncle to do. In the few hours for a dance, there are a limited number of dances, she isn't going to be able to give a dance with everyone - nor does she want to. One of the things the dollar dance does is it gives people 30 seconds or so of dancing with the bride. That means during about ten minutes of the reception you get all those friends of your parents, shirt tail relatives, etc., who aren't going to ask for a whole dance, and who often need something slowish and non romantic and aren't going to be out during the Electric Slide.

It is never tacky to ask a woman to dance. Ever. If she has one promised to someone else, that's one thing. But please don't justify the dollar dance because you think it's tacky to ask a woman to dance. There are a lot of slow songs I didn't even dance to at my wedding because I was stuck talking to someone else. If someone doesn't want to ask, then they don't have to, but still, don't blame it on the law of tackiness.

And I recently saw one for the first time when my BIL got married. It is a custom where my Hubby is from, but I would never have done such a thing at my wedding. From what I gather, the custom came from poor immigrants to the US, where the new husband pimped out his bride for money. So no thanks, I won't be pimped out by anyone. Not even if the money is being donated to a charity, like it was in my BIL and SIL's wedding.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I have never heard of such a thing before....tacky!

 

[KCMiller]

Lordy, lordy . . .

When my children are old enough to marry (and it ain't that far away!), I'm going to gently suggest to them that they quietly elope. And when they return from their private moment together, their father and I will have a great big party for them, with all our friends and all their friends, to celebrate their marriage.

I'm really hoping that's how it all turns out, because I'd rather crawl over broken glass than be subjected to the nonsense I've read on this thread perpetrated in the name of a wedding. Seriously. Have some class, people.


KC

 

[Sugar Jones]

That sounds more like the dances we had around here when I was a teen & a bit older, only it was unusual for the "host" to be anyone other than either the owners of the hall, or the band that was playing that night. Hardly ever see 'em anymore though.

edit: back before they made it big, REO Speedwagon hosted many such events here at our city auditorium

That is exactly what it's like. There are no invitations, you are not invited to a Stag & Doe, it's like a community event. And people do not bring gifts.

The intention of a Stag & Doe is not at all to pay for the wedding.

I haven't been to one in a while, so they probably are more than $5.00/person now

I met my husband at a stag & doe


We still do have wedding showers and a girls night out

 

[kimblebee]

It's funny how it's ok to call someone elses tradition tacky, but how the hackles come up when someone starts talking about your tacky tradition.

 

[crashbb]

Completely agree with this! The version described by the Canadians seems like a blast. Can I be invited?

The version of raising money to have your wedding...what? Weird!

Just point out, that I think the description is correct, but it is not a "Canadian" thing. I'm Canadian and have had one friend (and no family member) have such an event. I have heard of a few other people having such events (i.e. friends of friends). I'm not sure if it is just a coincidence or not, but all of them have been Italian, so I've always (probably totally incorrectly) assumed that it was an Italian thing (or Italian-Canadian thing).

 

[Sugar Jones]

Just point out, that I think the description is correct, but it is not a "Canadian" thing. I'm Canadian and have had one friend (and no family member) have such an event. I have heard of a few other people having such events (i.e. friends of friends). I'm not sure if it is just a coincidence or not, but all of them have been Italian, so I've always (probably totally incorrectly) assumed that it was an Italian thing (or Italian-Canadian thing).

I am in SW Ontario and it's an everybody thing. We live in small town Ontario so maybe it's a small town thing?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I am in SW Ontario and it's an everybody thing. We live in small town Ontario so maybe it's a small town thing?

Probably regional. Weren't the other folks who say it's common from Manitoba? That's not far from you, obviously.