frustration with cheer team

[Independent]

Wow. Just wow. Someone has quite the power trip thing going on ...

I'm off to a swim meet where my DD will swim a relay and is another girl DQ's her relay it will not be the end of the world.

Hope your dd did well in the swim meet! Swimming is our main sport. My oldest teen has been swimming for 12 years now, and has lettered for the past 3 in HS. I think it is one of the best sports a child can be a part of because it is a sport they can continue with for the rest of their lives. I love to watch the Masters competitions and see the 90 year olds swimming the 500. But it really is inherently different than a sport where the sheer safety of the other squad members relies on everybody being at 100%.

I think I may have worded my previous post too strongly. Yes, the coaches stress that the goal is to win. Why go into a competition if your goal is to come in third? Parents and children are told this. They are expected to work hard and commitment is required. That means showing up for practices on time - not straggling in 10 minutes late every time, and making all practices unless an emergency or you have filled out a prior absence request form.

However, the coaches always keep it real that it is a goal. It won't be a reality every time. Heck, even Tiger Woods doesn't win every golf tournament. If the kids don't win, then they watch the films, they discuss what they could do better and they move on. They only time the coaches implement consequences is when the team is goofing off. In fact, two competitions ago, our coaches scratched two teams because they were not ready due to goofing off. Again, not only is it their image to present ready cheerleaders, but it is a safety issue.

The gym also has several different age rec teams. Same uniforms, same coaches, and same commitment to doing well - but in a much more relaxed atmosphere. They do get to cheer at one competition - the very last one before everybody leaves for Nationals, so they still get a taste of competition, yet it is a much more relaxed, lets have fun, team.

What I can't understand is when parents have the choice of the very competitive teams or the rec teams, why do they select the team that is so wrong for their child? They know their child isn't competitive, so why do they make them try out for the competitive teams? And then they whine and moan when their child is talked to about not paying attention. "But she is just a child. She is just having fun." If she needs a more relaxed atmosphere, then why didn't you put her on the more relaxed team

A parent should know their child. Some kids thrive on the highly competitive teams. Some have much more fun on the less competitive rec teams. Neither one is better than the other, just make sure your child is on the team that fits their (not your) personality the best.

 

[Independent]

I find it really funny, how serious some of the parents take this stuff.

I was a competitive gymanst for 12 years. I took it very seriously. But I doubt if my mom could tell the difference between a handstand and a backbend.

I think some parents take it seriously because they have invested thousands and thousands of dollars for their child to live their dream. Yes, many parents are obsessive. Many parents are living through their children and forcing them to do what they could not. But that is in every sport. However, there are just as many kids who thrive in a highly competitive atmosphere. My DD begs, pleads and stamps her little pre-teen foot when she can't go to the gym all the time. (Not quite that bad, but you get the picture.) She goes to all her practices, but she wants to go every time there is open gym, every time there are extra classes, etc. I say no many times as I don't want her burned out, but her desire to be there tells me that this is what she really wants.

Regarding the OP, what terrible tragedy will occur if the goof off girl doesn't live up to the standards of the rest of the squad at the competition?

As for what terrible tragedy could happen if goof off girl doesn't live up to the standards of the team?

1) she is letting down the team. Every other girl has worked hard to do the best they can. Why should they have to have their work suffer because one person thinks they can goof off? Would you like it if you worked on a team project at work - everybody worked their tails off on the project. They put in huge hours of overtime. They sacrificed other parts of their lives to get this project done. But one co-worker just wanted to have fun and didn't work at the same standards as the rest of the team. So, the project wasn't 100%. And the boss withheld the bonuses that everybody was working towards. Doing well at a competition, having the respect of the other squads - that is these kids "bonus."

2) I think it has been well documented what kind of physical tragedy could happen if goof off girl didn't perform. But even if she wasn't a base for a flyer, other accidents could happen if she was a second off her timing. For instance, let's say everybody does a back tuck at one point in the cheer. Then they take a step forward. If goof off girl is a second off on her tuck, she runs the very real chance on landing on the person behind her who has finished their tuck and has taken that step forward. Even the little things could cause great physical harm if you are not 100% with the team.

 

[Independent]

Hi Everyone OP here, thank you for the supporting words from fellow cheer moms.

This is an expensive sport and everything is laid out to you in full at the first meetings of the year. For parents and the children. It is a big commitment.

I thought that I had made it clear in my original statement that I wanted the kids to have fun, exercise and team work. I do not expect them to win every time, and in fact have one child with anxiety that I use cheering to help her with her self esteem. What I was frustrated by was the 11 year old child, who is old enough to know better would not concentrate at a very important practice. I didn't say every time, or that I didn't like the girl, but at this practice 2 weeks away from a big competition she would not concentrate.

For those who know cheering, this girl is my daughters Back Spot. This means she is the main person to catch my flyer DD if she should fall from the mount. If you have ever seen your little child get thrown in the air, or stand above everyones heads, you would know that it makes you nervous. Luckily my other daughter is also one of her bases, so I know someone is looking out for her. They had another practice today and the girl was 100 percent better. So maybe she was tired, or mad at her mother or hungry yesterday. So all is good, but I stand by my statement that I was frustrated with her yesterday.

Glad things worked out. You have every right to have been frustrated with her yesterday.

 

[Independent]

If safety was an issue for the OP, I'm sure she would have mentioned it.

And I have to say, I'm shocked that cheerleading for a child so young can actually cost $10,000/year. Wow.

I think the fees are commensurate with any type sports team that does any kind of travelling.

Our fees, beside the 180.00 per month initial gym fee.

One competition:

Plane fare for family of 5 (we are all going)
$300 x 5 = $1,500

Required to arrive by 5pm Thursday, have to stay until Monday.
Hotel @ team discounted rate
$175 x 4 nights = $700.00

Competition fees - include all sorts of stuff like t-shirts, the team dinner for cheerleader (family is extra if you want to attend), fees, etc: $250.00

So, ONE out of state competition = $2,450.
-not including meals and any extras you may want to do, such as DL tickets during the Anaheim Jamfest nationals or WDW tickets if we travel to Orlando.

And the teams usually travel to 3 or 4 out of state competitions a season. It easily comes close to $10,00 per year.

 

[robinb]

Hope your dd did well in the swim meet! Swimming is our main sport. My oldest teen has been swimming for 12 years now, and has lettered for the past 3 in HS. I think it is one of the best sports a child can be a part of because it is a sport they can continue with for the rest of their lives.

Thanks . She was middle of the pack with 12th, 14th and 16th place ribbons. Due to problems with our previous team, she was entered into the meet with no times so she won all of her heats. I think she improved a smidge on her 25 Free, but I'm not enough of a Swim Mom to know my DD's current best time, LOL! One of the other kids did DQ in the relay and my DD DQ'd in her second try at the 100 yard IM. She's getting out of rhythm on the end of her Fly which is usually "her stroke" ... we call her "Fly Girl" . I think she's thinking ahead to the backstroke. A little more practice and she'll be fine.

What I can't understand is when parents have the choice of the very competitive teams or the rec teams, why do they select the team that is so wrong for their child? They know their child isn't competitive, so why do they make them try out for the competitive teams? And then they whine and moan when their child is talked to about not paying attention. "But she is just a child. She is just having fun." If she needs a more relaxed atmosphere, then why didn't you put her on the more relaxed team

I don't understand why parents don't do that either. With further information from the OP we now find that the child that was goofing off messed up the previous year's competition as well. I guess that I would also be interested in how kids are chosen for teams. Are there try-outs? Why did she make the team when it appears that the competitive team isn't for her? We also find out that she's 11 and unless the OP's DD is also 11, then she won't be around to goof off next year since she'll age up to the next level.