FRUSTRATED!!!! And our WDW trip just days away!!!

[Skywalker]

The father in law could be ticked off...did you offer to take him to Disney too? Take him out for dinner? Anything? If they feel like they are helping you out because you are struggling and then you take a trip they might feel like obviously you don't need that much help.

Or, it could have nothing to do with you at all.

Either way, you'll survive.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Anyway, could it be possible that your FIL sprang this on you right before your trip because he is just a bit miffed that you are living for free in his house, yet taking what some may see as a big vacation?

Although I agree that Disney can be done very inexpensively and doesn't always have to be the extravagance that is most people's perception, maybe he heard Disney and thinks you are spending big $$$ and he is upset.

Parents can be like that. They think they are bending backwards to help out their kids and then they don't understand some of their kid's choices.

If this might be the case, perhaps you can talk to him, let him know you didn't really spend what could have been several months rent on this trip and then offer to start paying rent until your plans are a bit more firm.

ITA

My parents were happy to help my sister and I after college. We lived at home for free for a while. During that time we were expected to save money, maybe complete grad school, and work on getting those student loans out of the way.

If we would have scheduled an expensive trip (no matter how cheap, my parents view disney as expensive), during that time, they would have started charging us rent.

They weren't working, what were they supposed to save?

The money they are using to pay for the trip to Disney.(Unless the trip is a gift trip)

 

[AtlantaSue]

I agree w/ the posters that understand OP's post for what it was--a vent over the timing of FIL's decision. When I was in law school--just about everyone I knew was getting assistance for their rent either from their parents or from a student loan. Everyone knew the "inevitable" was coming-working full time and having to pay rent and pay your debts. NOONE i knew worked and saved during school in order to be set for graduation day. The idea was to focus on school, and get a job immediately thereafter.

The end of school is a stressful time, as OP said-you are finishing up classes/exams, getting prepared to graduate, waiting for job offers--and the OP has a stressed out fiance to match! However they paid for the trip, they were looking forward to a break before the "real world." FIL''s announcement just upset her b/c it added to her stress level. It is possible for her to still be grateful, and still realize that the real world lies ahead.
OP, I wish you and your fiance the best. Take a deep breath, be proud of yourself for all of your hard work and study over the last 3 years, and try to enjoy the moment in spite of the added stress.

 

[Keli]

Try not to stress over this too much. Houses, generally speaking, don't sell overnight. You've probably have a month or two before it sells and thirty days after at a minimum. And that's after your fil finishes doing whatever he wants to do get it ready to sell.
You guys are at a crossroads in your lives and it is very stressful but hang in there, soon you'll start a new chapter in your lives. And it will be good.
Honestly, if I were you I'd do what I could to prepare until my vacation but for the days I was on my trip I would do my best to refuse to think about it. When I got home then I would continue to prepare and take care of each thing one at a time, a job, a new place to live, etc.
Good luck and have a ton of fun.

 

[luvsJack]

Jealous? Bitter? Go ahead and label me whatever you like, but I've been living in the real world for awhile now. My husband is a college professor and has yet to find a permanent tenure track position. We know we won't be living here for the rest of our lives and have no idea if or when we will move, but we've been paying rent and now our mortgage for about 8 years now.. This is called life.
I'm sorry that the OP is going through something, but I'm not going to join their pity party.

Exactly where do you think the rest of us have been living, if not the real world? I have been paying my own mortgage for over 22 years now but I can recall a time in my life when my wonderful, loving father helped me out of a pickle and kept me from having pay rent for awhile. I didn't expect pity when the time was up and I don't think the OP does either.


I just don't get this board sometimes. Everyone has different situations in their lives and different opportunities. That doesn't mean that everyone in any situation doesn't have stressful moments and just needs to vent a little. I don't get why everyone thinks they have to tell the poster how wrong they are to feel they way they feel.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just curious, I thought Med students knew where they were going already. Not familiar with the process at all, just from what I have read here from med students, but I though Match day was the same across the country and that happened a few weeks ago?

Anyway, could it be possible that your FIL sprang this on you right before your trip because he is just a bit miffed that you are living for free in his house, yet taking what some may see as a big vacation?

Although I agree that Disney can be done very inexpensively and doesn't always have to be the extravagance that is most people's perception, maybe he heard Disney and thinks you are spending big $$$ and he is upset.

Parents can be like that. They think they are bending backwards to help out their kids and then they don't understand some of their kid's choices.

If this might be the case, perhaps you can talk to him, let him know you didn't really spend what could have been several months rent on this trip and then offer to start paying rent until your plans are a bit more firm.

Agree. Living rent and bill free and going on vacation should not be in the same sentence. I have to say, as a parent I would be pretty ticked.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Agree. Living rent and bill free and going on vacation should not be in the same sentence. I have to say, as a parent I would be pretty ticked.

I don't know. For me, circumstances matter. Med/law school is no walk in the park. There is a lot of sacrifice involved. Focus. Yes. People sacrifice everyday in some way or another. Finishing these schools = big achievement. As a parent, I wouldn't be upset if they wanted to celebrate.

 

[Julylady]

Hi OP:

Your post took me back 25 years. I too was finishing a graduate degree and had moved back in with my Mom. My total focus was on finishing the degree. I worked a part time job for food money and paid my tuition bills with student loans. The idea of "saving" any money was totally out of my realm of reality. Three months prior to graduation I was hospitalized with exhaustion after working myself ragged. After I finished my degree my Mom sprung for a weeklong vacation. I absolutely needed to get away from it all.

Fast foward to today. My degree led to a great job and I have repaid my Mom back several times over throughout the years. Her support got me through that time.

I am sad that so many people are telling you to cancel your trip. That would be the last thing I would do. You and your husband will figure this all out. Have fun!

 

[1stluvispooh]

Welcome to adulthood.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't know. For me, circumstances matter. Med/law school is no walk in the park. There is a lot of sacrifice involved. Focus. Yes. People sacrifice everyday in some way or another. Finishing these schools = big achievement. As a parent, I wouldn't be upset if they wanted to celebrate.

Agree with you. And maybe the OP's future FIL is OK with supporting the kids and their vacation. IDK, OP needs to come back and comment on their arrangement.

I don't think people that live rent/bill free should be taking vacations but that is just me.

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

I have to say, putting myself in the FFIL's shoes, I would happily allow my child (and their partner) to live rent free whilst they were studying but I would expect that they spent the time saving for the future so that I wouldn't still be bank rolling them for several more years yet. The fact that the OP and her partner have been saving is good but I'd be pretty pissed to find out those savings have been 'blown' on a vacation whilst they were living rent free - especially an expensive vacation to WDW!

Yeah go on OP, enjoy your trip, don't worry about it. You never know he might come round and agree to bank roll you for another 3 years and you could save for a longer trip next time!

 

[dawn1620]

If anyone was asked - hey I have a house and you can live in it rent free for three years and pay no bills - would I take it? Dang straight I would. You've been living high on the hog and now you are having that taken away. I can imagine it's a violant shove into reality but it's life and it sometimes sucks.

If the trip is already paid for have a great time...no guilt should cross the World boundaries.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

I think people are underestimating the time/effort it takes to go to med/law school. My DH was in a Ph.D. program in the sciences and he finished early in 5 years ( usually took longer for others and this did not include 4 years of college which he did first). 9 years of school! There was no way he could have worked a part time job on top of that, I barely saw him as it was. So, I doubt the OP and her fiance could both be working and saving money in the last few years. Also, I don't think they can buy the house b/c most likely they will be moving.

OP, I think you should go on the trip. My DH and I scrimped while he was in school and now I wish we had gone on one really nice vacation before the kids came, even if we had put some of it on a credit card because once he was working it could easily have been paid back. If you are going to be a doctor and a lawyer I think you won't have to worry about finances.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Hi OP:

Your post took me back 25 years. I too was finishing a graduate degree and had moved back in with my Mom. My total focus was on finishing the degree. I worked a part time job for food money and paid my tuition bills with student loans. The idea of "saving" any money was totally out of my realm of reality. Three months prior to graduation I was hospitalized with exhaustion after working myself ragged. After I finished my degree my Mom sprung for a weeklong vacation. I absolutely needed to get away from it all.

Fast foward to today. My degree led to a great job and I have repaid my Mom back several times over throughout the years. Her support got me through that time.

I am sad that so many people are telling you to cancel your trip. That would be the last thing I would do. You and your husband will figure this all out. Have fun!

According to the OP's website, she graduated with her bachelors in 2008 and is an ultrasound technician.

Her fiance has passed the bar.

By the way, OP, your resume is very, very impressive. It looks like you do a lot of good work with lots of charities. Kudos to you. Have fun on your trip!!

Her website link is right under her name. She is a pageant person and appears to do a lot of charity work. I know how passionate one can become about charitable giving, so maybe that is just part of her frustration, that she may have to cut back a bit on her charitable work.

However, as a parent, I would also think now was the time to sell the house as my future DIL graduated 2 years ago and my son is done and has passed the bar. It seems like a loving father pushing the kids into adulthood.

 

[LaurenLC]

Exactly where do you think the rest of us have been living, if not the real world? I have been paying my own mortgage for over 22 years now but I can recall a time in my life when my wonderful, loving father helped me out of a pickle and kept me from having pay rent for awhile. I didn't expect pity when the time was up and I don't think the OP does either.


I just don't get this board sometimes. Everyone has different situations in their lives and different opportunities. That doesn't mean that everyone in any situation doesn't have stressful moments and just needs to vent a little. I don't get why everyone thinks they have to tell the poster how wrong they are to feel they way they feel.

I guess only YOU are allowed to tell people they are wrong, huh?

 

[luvsJack]

I guess only YOU are allowed to tell people they are wrong, huh?

And I guess only YOU can pass judgement?

I didn't say you were wrong, I asked why everyone feels its necessary to tell someone THEY are wrong about the way they feel. You may be right, she may be an ungrateful spoiled child; I don't know, I don't know her. I just think she has a right to vent and be frustrated just like anyone else without being told to grow up or join the real world or whatever lovely little bits of advice she has been given.

 

[DVCBELLE]

WOW - I just looked at the OPs website through her link...this girl is no slacker. She volunteers heavily and is ridiculously active in her community. I imagine she and her Fiancee are ready for a break. Passing the Bar is no small task - my DH took a long trip after he passed his. That is pretty normal. She also plans on going to med school but it appears she is waiting until it makes financial sense to go once her fiancee is working.

I don't think this is a matter of a lack of money. I think the OP is stressed about not knowing where they will be living and what her future holds. Which is a very normal reaction for someone her age. Change is scary - no matter how good it might be. She loves where she is now and the thought of taking on a new chapter in her life must be a little scary.

OH - and her fiancee's family seems to be the root of their Love for Disney I doubt they are upset they are taking the trip. Her FFIL is probably just figuring in this housing market that he should get the house ready and on the market since it will probably take a while to sell.

OP - enjoy your trip. What you have coming might be scary - but it will be wonderful too!

 

[Heidict]

According to the OP's website, she graduated with her bachelors in 2008 and is an ultrasound technician.

Her fiance has passed the bar.

By the way, OP, your resume is very, very impressive. It looks like you do a lot of good work with lots of charities. Kudos to you. Have fun on your trip!!

Her website link is right under her name. She is a pageant person and appears to do a lot of charity work. I know how passionate one can become about charitable giving, so maybe that is just part of her frustration, that she may have to cut back a bit on her charitable work.

However, as a parent, I would also think now was the time to sell the house as my future DIL graduated 2 years ago and my son is done and has passed the bar. It seems like a loving father pushing the kids into adulthood.

Hold on, wait. I'm confused. I thought she was in medical school? So, nobody is in medical school or is it just that her website is not updated to reflect this?

Regardless if she is in school or not (or maybe hopes to be one day) she has been working as an U/S tech, so there has been income coming into the house. Has any of this money been saved for anything other then a vacation? I can't imagine their monthly expenses being to much if all they are paying is cable/internet and food. Maybe insurance, car payments and cell phone also? How much would that come to total?

 

[robinb]

Her FFIL is probably just figuring in this housing market that he should get the house ready and on the market since it will probably take a while to sell.

That was my take on it. The son just passed the bar and they are unsure where they will be living next. It's one thing to pay for the home while the son is in school and using it. It's quite another thing to pay for the home to sit empty after the son and his family finally leave the nest. My guess is the FFIL is just getting the ball rolling in anticipation of his son moving out and making the house available to be sold.

OP: Go on your vacation and have fun! From your other posts it seems that you are actually doing the trip on a budget. You are driving instead of flying. You got a good rate at your resort. You are using your GAD passes. It's not like you're going overboard and spending money willy-nilly.

 

[luvsJack]

WOW - I just looked at the OPs website through her link...this girl is no slacker. She volunteers heavily and is ridiculously active in her community. I imagine she and her Fiancee are ready for a break. Passing the Bar is no small task - my DH took a long trip after he passed his. That is pretty normal. She also plans on going to med school but it appears she is waiting until it makes financial sense to go once her fiancee is working.

I don't think this is a matter of a lack of money. I think the OP is stressed about not knowing where they will be living and what her future holds. Which is a very normal reaction for someone her age. Change is scary - no matter how good it might be. She loves where she is now and the thought of taking on a new chapter in her life must be a little scary.

OH - and her fiancee's family seems to be the root of their Love for Disney I doubt they are upset they are taking the trip. Her FFIL is probably just figuring in this housing market that he should get the house ready and on the market since it will probably take a while to sell.

OP - enjoy your trip. What you have coming might be scary - but it will be wonderful too!

She sounds like a smart girl with a smart future husband and all of this will work out just peachy keen!!

You are right, any kind of change is scary and the end of school and the start of new careers, a new home, in, possibly, a new city are all BIG changes.

I don't think her FFIL is tired of helping or resenting their trip; just planning for his own changes to come.