From Working Mom to SAHM- how to make it happen?

[exwdwcm]

Looking for some advice........

Sitting here at my desk at a job I just don't care about that much. I got a degree, did a short stint with the mouse on the WDWCP and then jumped into the professional workforce in marketing about 15 years ago. Now, at almost 36yo with a 18mo son, I am seriously trying to figure out how to convince DH that I should be a SAHM and that it could work for us.

Anyone out there that went from working mom to SAHM, I would appreciate any advice or tips----on how you make it work financially, but also how you presented the case to DH and your family. My DH is traditional in many ways, but he is also the consummate saver, the type that would act like we were near being broke eve if we had $50k in the bank. He is frugal and convincing him to 'lose' my salary will take a lot. That is the other problem- after 15 years of working my way up, I am now a Marketing Director and earn a fairly decent salary. Even when you subtract day care, gas, clothing etc. out of it, it is still a good chunk of change that would be hard to give up. So hence, my problem. I make roughly 45% of our income.

We aren't rich, but we aren't poor either- we are simply blessed with what we have and I don't take it for granted. However, I would give up all the material things to spend more time with my son. I don't want to look back and have regrets and I am afraid I will.

I truly am the 'susie homemaker' type- i am type A, keep a spotless house (even while working FT) and i also cook most nights. I think I would enjoy being a SAHM, but I realize it is a LOT of work and I really respect those that do it. So between working, keeping the house up and spending what little time I have with DS and DH, I am just mentally and physically broke! Working out- I love it, but forget about it, i barely have time. And then I feel guilty taking an hour pilates class at night, when I should be spending it with DS.

Quality of life is more important to me. I don't want the stress, deadlines and responsibility anymore. My work is challenging, i enjoy parts of it and I know on some level my self esteem has been tied to my work (i've been laid off twice, so experience that first hand). But that means nothing when compared to my DS. I want to drop by a museum on a wednesday afternoon with DS. I want to be the one to put him down for a nap each day and be the first he sees when he opens those sleepy eyes. I also want to TTC#2 starting next year.

We have no debt other than our mortgage and one car payment, which we could knock out pretty fast in cash. We don't buy anything we can't pay cash for (we don't finance furniture etc.). I think we could financially make it work if we were careful and cut back on things. I know it would mean giving up those biweekly pedicures and probably the every 6 weeks hair color. I just need to be able to make a good case to DH and I am nervous about it, because I know how he is when it comes to money. At the same time, he knows my desire to be with DS all day and I think deep down he knows the benefits.

So I appreciate any tips you can provide on how you made it work and how you like it now that you are a SAHM. I also want to be sure I have a plan in place to keep DS busy and active--- with playgroups for social interaction and some learning activities.

My plan is probably long term- talking about next year maybe (sooner is better though)- I'd like to save up some and do some home repairs before I consider leaving corporate USA, and maybe save up more cushion and see if we can live on DH's salary for a few months as a test?

I appreciate any and all advice. I've just always known in my heart that i was meant to be a mom and I really want to enjoy it.

 

[PollyannaMom]

....and see if we can live on DH's salary for a few months as a test?....

I think this is your key right here! Talk with your DH about it, and pay only for day care out of your salary for a while. - Save the rest in a seperate account.

You'll both be able to figure out exactly what luxuries you'll be giving up, without the risk of leaving up your job just yet, and he may see that things will really be OK. (It wouldn't hurt to take a few days off right before you make the final decision, either, so he can feel the benefits of you being home!)

If it works out, you can move forward without the worry, and if it doesn't, at least you'll have saved up a nice bit of money for something special.

 

[SAHDad]

You may need to itemize everything before trying to live on DH's salary alone. After all, since you would still be working, you would have to pay day care, gas, lunches, etc. But, if you can get by an DH's salary (aside from your work expenses), then it's possible.

As far as keeping DS busy and active - you'll find it easier than I did. Your local church, library, etc should have listings for "mommy and me" playgroups. (I found out the hard way that many of them exclude dads - so my kids just have to ineract with other kids we meet at the library or park.)

Anyway, good luck - it's a tough job, so you may want to try it out for a week or two before you switch to it full time.

 

[Disney Doll]

Also, could you do something part-time or as a job share?? Perhaps not with your current company but with another company or organization? You might take a pay cut, but not a total pay loss. So then instead of losing 45% of your family's total income, maybe you'd only lose 20% or 25%. This also keeps your hand in the working world in case something happens, God forbid, but frees up more time to spend with your child. Could be the best of both worlds, if you KWIM. In thie current economic climate, I'm not sure I'd remove myself completely from the working world, just in case...

Living off one income for a while would be a good test.

Also, how is DH's job stability?

 

[LadyZolt]

Tell your DH that no one who is dying every said, "Gee, I sure wish I'd spent more time at the office and made more money." They say, "Gee, I wish I'd spent more time with those I love." That for me is the real key. I was a SAHM after I got out of the Navy and my DH was active duty Navy, then Coast Guard. I took the kids to the library once a week, to a playgroup twice a week (I founded the group, too, as there wasn't one in existence when I needed one -- LOL!), I homeschooled them when they were old enough to start school. I have absolutely no regrets and they are all young adults now so DH and I are doing the "empty nest" thing and traveling -- we just did a week, he and I, in Disney World. I cannot count how many other mothers over the years have said to me, "I really envy the relationship you have with your kids." If you want to be close to your kids, you have to be there to share moments with them. With small kids, it is not "quality time" as they are too young to understand important discussions or whatever. It is "quantity time." They aren't going to wait until some perfect moment in the presence of both parents to take their first step, say their first words, make their first knock-knock joke, or read their first word. They're going to do those things when they're ready and the only way to ensure that you're there to see it is to actually schedule your life so that it is your top priority to be there to see it. I cannot imagine your husband thinking any amount of money is more important than that.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[jodifla]

The thing is, that's a lot of pressure to put on your husband. Being the main breadwinner these days is HUGELY stressful.

Instead of no job, I'd try to leverage your experience into something part time, either with your company, or with another company.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I'd suggest you try putting on paper all the ways you can save money by not working to show your dh. It's not just the cost of daycare. You can probably save money on clothes, transportation costs, food (making more from scratch, doing things that take all day like baking bread, etc.), the pedicure and hair styling, etc. It might reassure him to see that.

I loved being with my kids when they were small, and even after I was divorced I did all I could to maximize my time with them. Money has always been tight but to me, being with my kids matters more.

Teresa

 

[koolaidmoms]

I went from working to SAHM. We had the discussion before we had kids though. It is stressful for DP at times to be the main bread winner especially in these economic times and I try to be very sensitive to that. I try to make the house as tranquil and peaceful as possible to alleviate that stress as much as I can.

Our main point was that we wanted to be able to raise our children in the manner we wished them to be raised. I wanted our morals and values presented to them first. I wanted to work with them from a young age on reading, coloring, cutting and loving nature and life.

Actually having me home has paid off for us in some ways. We eat out less (both lunch and dinner), we spend less on clothing budgets and the stress in our household has gone down. My mental health was greatly improved when I did not have to think about where my children were and who were they with. There is no more rushing home and trying to get it all done in a short time. We can sit down and talk at night on the porch about our days.

Good luck to you. It was the best decision we ever made for us and I hope that whatever you choose that you are all happy!

 

[SundancePass]

As the ONLY breadwinner in our home when my DH decided to stay home with the kids one day, I can tell you your Husband will take it on the chin at first no matter what the two of you discuss. It's human nature. However, I got over it in 2 years ( men were supposed to work for heavens sake) and for our children who are now 32 and 30, it was the ONLY thing we could do to satisfy all of our wants, needs, desires, and to keep my DH and I sane.

We bought the house on my salary when we moved to Houston in 1982 and he had planned to "get a job" as he had done in 2 other cities. Kids were 3 and 5 at that time. He made the decision the day my son started Kindergarten and never looked back.

I wish you well. I am not a SAHM. My hubby of now 40 years was a STHD with NO job other than the kids. He worked harder than I did, got no paycheck, and receives the love of his children every day. My son called us today at our office and told me that "I hit the cosmic jackpot when it comes to parents". As I sat there for a moment grinning, I realized that millions of parents would never hear those words.

Do what you have to do. Your children are yours for only 18 years and are, to me, THE most important contribution we can make to the future of the world.

Good luck and best wishes!

 

[bumbershoot]

I was a working person, not a working mom, when I decided to stay home. Well, I didn't decide that one day...it was just that I had first realized that being my own boss was not something I was good at, and then I found that having other people be my boss wasn't all that healthy for me. Hubby, then fiance, had seen all of this, and finally let me know that it was OK...scary, but OK...for me to just stop trying to find a job. So I stopped working and we lost half of our combined income. Note: I'm not into manipedicures, I don't have my hair colored, rarely cut it b/c it's usually in a very simple style that can be short or long, I keep clothes until they die...hubby is the same way...so the main difference was that we didn't go out as often and we didn't go on mini breaks as often.

We got married and instantly I got pregnant, and I was so utterly exhausted I couldn't have even made it through an interview, let alone a day's work, so we decided I wouldn't even try. I'm sure hubby would be happy to be a SAHD, however, he didn't make the milk for the baby then toddler, and I'm an AWFUL worker-for-pay. I'm always sick, I whine, I complain...working for pay isn't a joy to me. And so, it's remained this way. Also, he doesn't have the college credits to be the main homeschooling teacher, so again that falls on overeducated me.

In the time that I haven't worked for pay, our income has, overtaken what the two of us were taken. Hubby says that, even though I'm NOT a pristine housekeeper, just me being there to do most/much of the work, and make the business-of-the-home phonecalls, be there for cable installation, make the dentist appts, etc etc etc, has given him the attention he needs to focus on work, to make himself better. He puts at least half of the reason for his getting better and better and being more successful on the fact that I hold down the fort and he doesn't *have to* focus on the home stuff. That's not to say he doesn't do anything here, he does quite a bit! He just doesn't *have to*, and that makes all the difference.

Start by figuring out what is really spent b/c there are two working parents. If you're that used to the spa type stuff (having osmeone else do your nails and hair color) it might be painful to stop that cold turkey, and you'll need to figure out a way to either wean yourself off entirely, or find a stop gap measure (doing it yourself, or finding a cosmetology/hair school, for instance). Figure out how often you go to dinner "just because" or "because we're both too tired to cook". etc etc. Then start taking away the money you contribute, to get used to it. And so on and so forth.

I wish you luck! Hubby says that one of the things that has made it worth it for him to work SO hard and miss so much of E's life, is that I am there to take pictures, journal, and share as immediately as possible all of the little things. (if you don't have a cell plan with data transfer in it already, I recommend it, so that you can take quick pix of your son and send them to your hubby, to share the big or little moments and give him a smile to go on with.)

 

[bumbershoot]

I do want to say that I had a working mom, by absolute necessity. She didn't share with me until I was in my 20s that she never wanted to work outside the home, but she made a bad decision with her first two husbands, and then by the time she met the Good Man, she had a kid in college and another kid finishing high school, and didn't feel that the new stepdad should pay for it.

She was a wonderful person who spent all the time she could with us, was always there for us (she even got an 800# when I was in college, so I could call her whenever I wanted to without worrying about the phone bill), and we loved her tremendously. She called herself The Queen, and she was, running household wonderfully and bringing home the bacon, etc.

I know it's very possible to have a very close relationship with your kids while being a working parent (I will state for the record, however, that she went on welfare and food stamps while we were little and nursing...until I was 4 and my brother was 2...so that she could stay home with us during those years).

I just knew that I wouldn't be able to do it. Something would have had to give, big time, and I'm glad that hubby has been supportive of it (we also discussed it while dating...on our second or third date I do believe), b/c I wouldn't have been able to do what my mom did, not at all.

 

[Aristomommy]

Before I went SAHM, I calculated all my job related costs (babysitting, clothing, gas, parking, lunches, eating out etc.) and compared it to my income. While I make a good living, I figured out we could cut out that much off our budget. We did a 4 month try with using my income only to those job related expenses that would go away.

I did return to the workforce a few years later (picking up shifts here and there and then part time) but I am glad I was able to enjoy those early years.

Also consider the economy and how easily one or both of you might be laid off. And if that happens, how easy is it to find another job. When DH and I discussed my decision, we did a pro and con columns and that helped to shape up our decision. maybe before you discuss with your DH, you could make your list of pros and cons for him to read. Tell him what it would mean to you and the entire family to have you home. I hope you are able to make it work, if that is what's in your heart.

 

[bunny]

Is there any way to go part time or work reduced hours at your current job? If that is not possible (which it isn't with my job), have you thought about hiring a housekeeper or nanny?

I really wanted to stay at home with my kids when they were little too. It is very stressful working a full time job with a toddler. Now I am glad I didn't. They are both in school and are gone all day from 8:30 to 4. My husband leaves early to be home with them in the afternoon and I start work at 9 to be with them in the morning. By working those few extra years, I increased my salary and seniority. I have more vacation time to spend with them in the summer. We can also afford to send them to an excellent private school and have saved most of their college needs. (BTW I was looking up college cost the other day and they are astronomical. Plan on saving $125,000 for your baby if you want to pay for him to go.)

So before you decide to quit your job, think about where you want to be in a few years. In a couple years your baby will be in preschool and then in regular school. He won't be home all day anyway. If you quit your job now and decide to go back to work, you will probably take a drastic pay cut as well as a cut in benefits such as time off and vacation time. Also you will lose those years saving for your retirement. And as an older mother, you won't have many years to work after your son graduates.

It is almost overwhelming being a working mother with a toddler, but it does get easier as the kids get older. In the meantime, use your extra money to hire help for yourself so that when you are off, you have more free time to spend with your son or on yourself.

 

[jodifla]

Is there any way to go part time or work reduced hours at your current job? If that is not possible (which it isn't with my job), have you thought about hiring a housekeeper or nanny?

I really wanted to stay at home with my kids when they were little too. It is very stressful working a full time job with a toddler. Now I am glad I didn't. They are both in school and are gone all day from 8:30 to 4. My husband leaves early to be home with them in the afternoon and I start work at 9 to be with them in the morning. By working those few extra years, I increased my salary and seniority. I have more vacation time to spend with them in the summer. We can also afford to send them to an excellent private school and have saved most of their college needs. (BTW I was looking up college cost the other day and they are astronomical. Plan on saving $125,000 for your baby if you want to pay for him to go.)

So before you decide to quit your job, think about where you want to be in a few years. In a couple years your baby will be in preschool and then in regular school. He won't be home all day anyway. If you quit your job now and decide to go back to work, you will probably take a drastic pay cut as well as a cut in benefits such as time off and vacation time. Also you will lose those years saving for your retirement. And as an older mother, you won't have many years to work after your son graduates.

It is almost overwhelming being a working mother with a toddler, but it does get easier as the kids get older. In the meantime, use your extra money to hire help for yourself so that when you are off, you have more free time to spend with your son or on yourself.

This is a great post. ITA.

As someone who grew up with a SAHM, I wish she would have worked when I was younger. We had a lifetime of scrimping because she stayed home...and I ended up having to step in to help take care of both of them when they aged because they didn't save ANYTHING for retirement.

The low point was when they had to take money out of MY little kid savings account (from babysitting, birthdays) to cover their bills.

 

[puffkin]

Please look 5-6 years down the road. If you become a SAHM, what will you do once DS is in school. Will you be able to get back in the workforce and possibly starting at the bottom or will you be happy still being home?

I struggle with this EVERY day. I make about 60% of our income and carry the benefits (which are very good) so it really isn't an option for me. When my DH was laid off it was HARD being the breadwinner. Even though it wasn't his fault, I resented it every day even though I put on a good face. If this isn't something your DH wants, it is going to be very hard to convince him and make him happy as well....even if he is supportive at first.

One thing I did do when I was so unhappy (DS was about 18 mo then too!) was find a new job. I don't really enjoy this job, but the hours, pay and benefits are great. It is also VERY flexible which makes a world of difference. If I want to take an afternoon off to hit the pool, most days I can. I suffer through the boring work that is completely unchallenging to have this!

I also hired a housekeeper which makes a world of difference! I can spend most of my free time having fun with DS now instead of worrying about the house. It is really not that expensive and the best money I spend!

Finally, DS LOVES LOVES LOVES daycare/preschool. He begs to go, even on the weekends. He is learning so much and just having a blast in general. He doesn't want to stay home with me, LOL. He wants to be at school running around with his friends and doing all the fun stuff they do there.

I know the big trend in society and on these boards is to be a SAHM....but I don't really think that is the "only" way to be happy. The key is to find that right balance between family needs, your needs, and financial needs. I compromised having a job I love to having a job I hate but that has everything else. I am keeping my "foot in the door" in my profession so that once our situation changes, I can find a job I like better. The cleaning lady is a HUGE help and at this point I would not take daycare away from my son (he is 3 now) and if I was a SAHM I couldn't afford it. I also don't want to give up all the fun little extras we do like Disney trips, concerts, movies, daytrips, etc that we wouldn't be able to afford if I stayed home. I hope you can find something that works for your family, but I am just trying to show that you don't have to be a SAHM to find that balance.

 

[exwdwcm]

Thanks for all the replies and advice from working persons, SAHM and SAHD! We had our big first WDW trip planned for Dec to take DS for hte first time. My parents are paying for it all (we are so lucky and blessed)----so I wouldn't even consider attempting even the trial run probably until after December.

I have some other issues I didn't mention- we tried for 2 years to have our DS. One year was spent with countless days at the fertility doctor having ultrasounds, artificial inseminations, labwork etc. I was fortunate at the time I have a flexible job and boss who knew what I was going through and let me leave for those appts. TTC with fertility issues eats up a lot of time- i had to go for ultrasounds sometimes 4-5x a week to monitor egg growth. If we have to go through that again for #2, it would be much easier not having to work- the physical pain (side effects from drugs etc.) and stress is a lot when dealing with TTC/fertility issues. Not having to worry about work i think would help my mental state and maybe help us in TTC#2. Anyways- that is another reason I would want to quit working. But then in opposition, if we have to go through treatments again (we were 'unexplained infertility', they never found the reason and IVF is what worked for us first try)......they are costly. I know my parents would offer to help as they recently came into some money. We are all on DH's insurance already, since my ins is horrible here. but still.....

SaHD- kudos to you- i am so sorry that you struggle to find playgroups to accept you- that is just terrible. I would be so excited to have a SaHD in my group. i totally think it should be equal opportunity. you still share the same challenges at home as a SAHD as the SAHM's do. THanks for the great insight and reminding us that many DADs also play this great role. My DH has joked about being a SAHD when we bring up the topic of me staying home, but he said he would never really want to do it- i think he realizes the hard work involved and well he doesn't quite have the patience for it. lol

DisneyDOll- the part time is something I have thought about too.....my company is a small family owned business that is really struggling right now. in fact they laid off my marketing coordinator last month. So I am doing her job now too. I think they would be open to the idea partly due to the reason of having less salary/overhead to deal with- however, if I presented the idea and they were NOT okay with it, it might be put me in a bad light in their eyes as not being committed and then they might not want me around at all, ya know? so i worry about bringing that up, although they are fairly flexible- let me work from home on occassion and the COO's wife actually works from home on contract basis for us doing odd jobs for me, so it is a possibility. Also- they might worry would I be able to still get the work done in half the time? Something I have to think about before I would present the idea. I might start looking for new jobs that are part time though too as an option as well. Since part time or not- i am not happy where I am now.

oh and DH's job is really stable. He started with the company when it was founded about 8 years ago. It was just him, his boss and his friend. Now they have about 25 people. So his boss really values him and they are actually friends. They are still doing well despite the economy. He works for a REIT. I have no fear of him losing his job whatsoever, unless he chose to move on to something else. His coworkers, as I mentioned, (all men except for 3), all have stay at home wives. And 2 of them just recently quit to be SAHM, so they were comfortable enough with the work situation to do it as well. So that isn't really an issue- thankfully.

SundancePass- that is great DH took on the role at home. I think either parent can do it successfully if both have agreed on that path. I imagine it is a LOT of stress and pressure for the breadwinner, whether it is the wife or hubby, or partner. BUt DH is pretty good with stress. Plus I would make it my goal to always make home a relaxing environment for him. That is great that your kids know how great they have/had it. That is exactly why i want to be there for my DS, because I think we hit the jackpot with him as a son and I really want to make sure he knows we feel the same and will make sacrifices where necessary.

Bunny- a house keeper, wouldn't that be heaven! I have never had one in my 35 years on this earth. Since I am a neat freak, i keep a pretty spotless house. BUT, it would be nice to have that help so I don't feel pressured to do it. then i can spend more time iwth DS. I am the type A that can't relax until my house is clean and everything is in its place- that is another issue entirely.....I've learned to let go more and just have fun, let the dishes sit. I've seriously considered getting someone to come clean once every 2 weeks or something and see if that helps free up more time while i am working too. good idea! Nanny- i am not comfortable with someone else living/being in my house all day unfortunately. and childcare isn't our issue- we and our DS are extremely happy with his montesorri he is in. They are awesome and DS LOVES going everyday- he nevers cries, in fact I sometimes have to drag him away when i pick him up- he really enjoys his time there and thrives. I just want to be the one caring for him- not a day care, not a nanny.

you make great points about continuing to work too. Maybe if i could find the right gig, where I am happy and enjoy it and still have flexibility and lots of time off, then i would continue working and be okay with it. I also worry about leaving hte workforce and IF I did want to go back or HAVE to go back- I would need to keep my skills up. I hear all the stories of SAHM who try and re-enter the workforce later and struggle because they are so behind in their skills now. For someone in marketing- that would be a challenge- things are always changing- new strategies for web marketing, events etc. I would lose out on some of those skills.

THANK YOU again for all the great feedback. I am continuing to weigh my options. and I know in a job market and economy like this, I am truly blessed to have a job and be able to pay my bills. But in the end, to me, it isn't all about money. As one poster said- no one ever looked back and wished they had spent more time at the office. I want to live with no regrets (as close as I can!!).

 

[bunny]

As one poster said- no one ever looked back and wished they had spent more time at the office. I want to live with no regrets (as close as I can!!).

No, but I am sure there are people who are still working at age 70 who look back and wondered why they didn't save more for retirement. Or kids that graduate from college with $100,000 loans and wonder why there parents didn't save more for them.

BTW, I am a neat freak too and even though I have always worked, I never had a housekeeper. I admit I am not as clean as I once was, but I do clean a little every day, so waiting for a housekeeper to come once a week wouldn't be enough for me. But, I have taught my son how to clean. He is 10 and actually does a better job than my husband most of the time. Plus he is money motivated to do cleaning and my husband is only nag motivated. My son also went to Montessori school and now that he is going into 5th grade, he is so far ahead of his peers. He even goes to a private school, but the Montessori preschool education is superior.

It sounds like you need a vacation. And not a Disney vacation but a lay on the beach, build a sandcastle and take a nap type of vacation. Take a few afternoons off this summer and spend them hanging with your baby. Also it sounds as if you may just need a different job. Your job sounds very stressful.

Good luck with TTC. That also sounds very stressful.

 

[Aisling]

Working outside the home is very fulfilling and financially beneficial for many women, but for many other, like myself, being a SAHM is equally fulfilling.

I was a working mom that decided to become a SAHM, and I love it. I see my "job" now as household manager. I manage everything, from the housework to bills. I've become very budget savvy, and we live well on my DHs income.

Since I've been home, we eat less fast food, my commute-to-work expenses are gone, and I have more time to take care of the home/family without the added stress of working outside. I'm a much happier person, which makes my family happier. I love it that I'm on my own schedule everyday.

Also, I've become more involved with my kid's schools, which is a plus.

I did it by writing it all out on paper, and saw we could afford it. Then I made my case to DH. He said as long as we could afford it, it's fine with him.

Life is too short to do what you don't want to be doing, so work it out with your DH and go for it. It's a good lesson for your kids, too, to see that a person's value doesn't depend on how much money they bring home. I bring home $0, and my kids appreciate me for all I do for them at home.

Good luck, you'll love being a SAHM.

edited to add: to all the young girls out there, get a college/trade education first, before deciding to be a SAHM, in case you need to be financially independent some day.

 

[MelessaG]

I'm reading along here too. I just left my p/t job because I'm expecting a baby in July and as I worked at a small non-profit, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I was let go anyway. I was a SAHM until my "baby" was 2, and I went back to work three years ago. I loved my time at work, I think that "baby" thrived at her day care; but I'm also glad to be home now and blown away by how much work it is. I had somehow forgotten. My salary was for bonuses though, so I know we'll do without those, but DH was always the main breadwinner-so my situation is a little bit different. Still, I enjoyed reading about everyone's experiences here so far.

 

[Hillbeans]

I went from working mom of 2 to SAHM for about a month (it just wasn't for me) and now i'm back to working PT 30 hrs a week.

I never really had any love for my career, but it paid well. I wanted to spend more time with my kids because my job was stressful and I had a long commute. I think what I didn't realize when I left my job to try the SAHM thing was that after working for so many years it was very isolating for me to be in the SAHM world. I needed the adult interaction and just wasn't happy. Also, my H just wanted me to be happy no matter what I decided but it did put a lot of pressure on him once I left my great paying job.

I think if you can swing something PT you'll find that may be the perfect balance of SAHM and working world. I have been taking on assignments through a temp agency so the pay is more in line with my experience and professional background.

Really, this may be one of those things that until you try it, you just won't know. Best of luck to you in your decision.