Mike Ditka once said , "Living in the past if for losers."
Maybe,,,, but I guess I had better not see you ever take a look at pictures of your wife or kids or grandkids.
So, if you feel like it, we are going to travel back in time tonight to May of 07, almost 4 years ago and no, I can't believe it's been that long either. I didn't pick this chapter out for any special reason or because I think it was that much better then the others,,,, maybe just because it's about Universal and I'd really like to go back and stay there someday soon and see Harry, like it appears a Canadian friend of ours is going to be doing in the very near future.
Anyway, hope you enjoy spending some time here at the Hard Rock Hotel Pool.
Trippet 7 ..You didn't really say that, did you?
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You know, I thought I had a little extra time when I got home, and so, decided to give Mischief a bath. She's the cat that sneaks out all the time.
It went better than I thought it would. She seemed to like it. I didn't mind it too much. No blood was drawn. Boy,
if it wasn't for all the fur stuck to my tongue,,,,
I had said I was going to be opinionated this chapter, and there are going to be enought Dis. Uni. comparisons made, to alienate almost all readers. It's sunday afternoon, and we bolted and went down to the pool. One more picture, only this is what it looks like either early, or late, in the day.
It really is a pretty cool looking pool, still have no idea whatsoever what these "gazing balls" are supposed to be but I'm not gonna argue with them.
Only not now. It's about two in the afternoon, we just want to relax for a bit, and build up the "precautionary" suntan.
I hate having to wear "glop".
For protection.
From the sun.
Geesh
It was sort of crowded when we got down there, but , go ahead, try to find a couple lawn chairs together. The one side is a zero entry side, with a nice sandy beach. You know what?
I have about had my fill of "sandy" anythings after St. Augustine Beach.
I'm still finding sand in orifices I thought I had finished cleaning out.
So we were looking on the other side. Besides, why do I want to hang out where all the "zeros" hang out?
So now we have at least 200 people all disguised as towels!, and the make up was just great!
So many towels, so little chairs. Don't you just love it when folks leave for their room and just leave the towels on the chairs? You can't tell if any body is sitting there or not.
So , we finally found two together, sat down, and if on cue, a new tape, or CD, started. No wonder these seats were empty. Trust me, the Hard Rock really tries to live up to it's name, if not in song quality, then in volume.
The speakers were on a stand in the bush right behind us.
I love music. All kinds, cept opera. And this certain song by Madonna that Diane likes to sing at karaoke, Hanky Panky. But, I digress.
This soundtrack by the pool, is piped in everywhere on property. EVERYWHERE. Except in your rooms.
After 15 minutes by the pool, in front of these half blown out speakers, that are so loud as to be distorting, I was starting to lose my mind.
Na, hey, it's just me, I'm getting older)
(hell you are, it's just crappy songs, through crappy speakers
And as we're sitting there, I'm trying not to look at Diane. I know, If I make eye contact, she's going to complain about the speakers right behind us, and we'll be packing up , moving again to different chairs. So, I don't look to my left, where she's sitting.
I just sat there, looking around, listening to the pool ambiance, sucking it all in, and the comments that would come through during the quiet parts of the "pooltrack soundtrack."
(Timmy, we're over here, yes, see us? c'mon honey, kick your feet, that's it, "ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!" there you go, you got it, swim to mommy now, "MY SHARONA",,,,,,,
After awhile, I was starting to feel like I was on the verge of losing my mind again, but I really didn't want to go look for new chairs,,, then I guess Diane got tired of waiting for me to look at her, and smacked my arm
a good one.
She really wanted to tell me something, so I leaned over as far as I could and stared at her mouth, hoping to at least be able to read her lips a little over the music.
She was trying to get the words out fast enough before another song started, but she wasn't quick enough.
We both leaned over, and I could see her lips move, and that was the frightening part.
They seemed like they were right in sync with the next song, that was blasting in my ear.
The important message that she was trying to tell me, and the reason she grabbed my arm, was;
"I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker."
I looked at her in bewilderment, and thought I was losing my mind after all. After I did this to her , she leaned back again and gave up.
It wasn't really that hot out, wasn't even sure I was going in the pool.
Ah, some decisions are made FOR you.
After Steve Miller got done loving my peaches and shaking my trees, hmm, maybe it was Dianes, anyway, by now I am on a hair trigger.
HAIR TRIGGER!
And then it came on.
It!
Probably the worstest everest nastiest song ever made in the universe of bad song making.
I recognized the beginning, and within two notes, I was seen flailing my arms, and screaming on the way into the pool. And I couldn't beat the first line into the water.
"EVerybody was Kung Fu fighting."
Just before I hit the water, I saw there was six people right behind me.
I dive underneath.
"And it was fast as lightning"
" In fact it was a little bit frightening"
HUH? Oh CRAP! That's right, they have speakers under the water. I knew this, just forgot about it in my escape.
No, don't even think about "escape". " Do you like pina colada's?" "Getting caught in the ",,,,, Stop it! They'll play that next!!
Ok, honest, it's a lovely pool. At 8 in the morning.
Now that I'm wet, we went down the pool slide once. Have you ever seen a '69 Camaro with the hood scoop added on to get air to the carborateur? Well, that was my nose when I hit the water. For about 4 seconds, the entire pool went dry, until it all drained back out of my nose.
And it's a big pool!
Ok, wer're going to take a short break here, be right back.
06-11-2007, 08:52 PM #204
nebo
sharkbait
Uh oh, this conversation isn't going as planned
All of you are welcome to come along
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: near Chicago, Il
Posts: 1,165
Again, You Said what? trippet 7, verse nine, chapter 45, stage 3, highway 57,
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Leaving the pool was wonderful. Don't get me wrong. I'm on vacation, and the driving part is done. At least for awhile. We are finally at our destination, and even though the pool area was less than "fulfilling" it was kind of funny though.
We laughed.
Ah hah hahha hhaa
Well, actually, that was Diane laughing.
Ah hah hahha hhaaa.
Ok, ok, it was me. I knew I spelled it wrong the second time. I have a stupid laugh.
Not Diane, though.
She has a very hearty, delicate laugh.
"Right?" "Snort?"
We find our way back to our room, only because the pool is the only real access this room has. As far as our room? um, well, I can't. Show you much I mean. Evidently, we had a really bad time with film this trip, I never had this problem before, but almost half of what we took, didn't come out.
Yes, all of you with digitals form a line on the right to lambast me. But I never had this problem before. The only thing I can figure, and if any of you can verify what I'm about to say, please, feel welcome to do so, Is that my film was too old. I had two throw away camera's, and my trusty Canon Shure shot.
Which turned into a Maybe shot.
Then a Your guess is as good as mine , shot.
The throw aways were bought last year, from a bargain bin. So, I'm guesssing they were old from "last year". And the multi pack of 800 film was also from last year. Same bargain bin. In retrospect, if it was old film discounted at that time,,, um , ok, you get the picture.
Oh, a funny. ha ha , get the pic,,,, ok, I'll shut up now.
So, let's do it the old fashioned way, I'll describe it. You know how good I am with words.
( we're doomed)
Hard Rock Hotel rooms are huge. Bigger than AKL or WL. Bigger than the Dolphin, if you have ever stayed there. Not as big as GF, though, or Portofino Bay at UNI. When you check in, there is a CD in the package, this is for use in your room CD player, which cranks up pretty loud. You also get a 32 inch plasma tv in your room, a wet bar, and these two, gigantic stuffed logs that were sitting on each bed.
Next to the bed is a table/lamp combination with a recliner next to it. This is where my shorts and suit went if they weren't too wet.
Across from the bed was the dresser, in the middle, tv on top, bar to the right, mini bar below that that you don't ever want to touch or they will claim rights to your first born if you take anything out of it, and , across from my bed by the window, just across from the recliner chair, that is HOME.
The table with two chairs, tons of brochures, pamphlets, advertisements, high speed cables, where we mostly sat.
And which is right next to a window that doesn't open, with a view of grass and some hedges.
We walked back in and it was freezing. I checked the thermostat on the wall, It said 75.
"YOUR DONKEY it's 75 in here."
My reality said it was about 68. I cranked it up a bit more. No, you don't have controls like in the other resorts, just a thermostat, like at home.
Diane said as we walked in, "Kind of chilly in here, isn't it?"
"Yup"
"Did you turn it up"
"Yup"
"Ok, you're going to make me ask the right question. What did you turn it up to?"
"80".
"WHat?" Why,
"Because it says it's already 75 in here, and we both know it's wrong, so, let's see what happens."
It is now about 4 o'clock, and we still want to get down to a park and at least get our tickets through the automated machine down by the turnstyles.
Maybe even go in and do a couple of things before they close. As I'm taking off my suit, she asks me,
"You thirsty?"
"Yes, I'll have a manhattan, thank you."
I see that little "shake of the head".
Then it ocurred to me. I threw on my suit again, and ran back down to the ice machine and filled the bucket up. Wasn't far at all.
As I'm changing again, and she's making my drink, I know what I heard.
Oh yes, I know.
"Drinky winky, let's get stinky."
Now, for those of you that are new readers, this is a lame takeoff of a line used ofter in last trip report's, trip report. From my good friend lexmelinda who once tried to give me technical instructions on how to post and this and that, by ending it, "Easy peazy, lemon squeezy."
And it stuck in my head. Like it's a Small world , does. I couldn't get it out of my head. Used it at work. Used it everywhere. Once bought 3 big biker guys a beer at the bar and when one of them held up his beer in thanks and said, "Dude." I responded, "easy peazy, lemon squeezy."
Almost got me killed.
So, when Diane said this, the obvious takeoff from it, I was;
"WHAT?"
"What, "WHAT?"
"YOu know what I mean when I said "What"?
"No, I don't know what you mean. What do you mean by "what?"
"Ok, fine, you wanna play this way, do you? Then, just tell me, what did you just say?"
"I don't know, I was mumbling to myself."
"Oh, ok, fine, deny it."
"Allright then, you tell me what you thought I said."
"You know friggin well what you "thought" I said. "Easy peazy,,, no, crap, hold it,,, you said, " Drinky winky, let's get stinky."
"Steve, I never "Drinky winkied anybody in my life, and certainly didn't start now with you. "
I'm not buying it. I know her.
And then my mind flash forwarded a few months to a courtroom;
"You see, Your Honor, she told me "Drinky winky, let's get stinky."
"And then she denied it."
"If that's not mental cruelty, I don't know what is."
And then I pictured my self getting taken away again.
So, I did just what she said but didn't say she did even though I know exactly what she said that she says she didn't say.
huh?
I had a couple,
fast.
No, I didn' t get stinky, but I caught a silly buzz, and right before we headed on out to the parks, she took this picture. Which, amazingly, is about the only room pic that came out. And , of coarse , the one I never thought would, or hoped would.
Old habits die hard?
Uh oh, I can tell by the look in their voices, not good.
"Your Honor, may I request a new jury , please?"
hishonor: "The courtrooom has decided to grant you your request. "Easy peazy,,,,,,
goodnight guys, hope you enjoyed tonights babbling, see you all soon,