Still at Magic Kingdom, my leg has pretty much stopped bleeding from my improptu performance of Brian Boitana demonstrating a triple lux. We are still looking for another fastpass for tonight and thought we may need one for Mickey's Philharmagic, but that wasn't the case, we could just walk right in so we did.
This didn't exactly pick my mood up either. By the time my eyes even started adjusting to theater light, the show was over. I couldn't even see Donald's hiny sticking out of the back wall.
I know, what a thing to complain about.
There's an old saying, and many people swear by it, that when you lose or see one of your senses diminish, that God makes up for that by heightening other senses.
I have a blind friend of mine who can hear clouds forming.
But it seems that as my eyes are disintegrating on an almost daily basis, the only thing that seems I have been awarded is a heightened sense of sarcasm.
And that's not always a good thing.
While I may find my sarcasm to be entertaining to me, the general rule of thumb is that it's only entertaining to the source, and that the target or recipeint may actually find it offensive.
This is one of those things I have to keep reminding myself so I don't get in more trouble than I need to be in.
For example; Guys, when she asks you "Do these shorts make my butt look fat?"
Never reply "No, your butt makes those shorts look fat."
While this may be entertaining to you, I going to guess that she probably is going to fail to join you in that entertainment. See what I mean? Not that I have ever said anything like that.
However the events that were taking place at Sports were sharpening my sarcastic traits to a fine edge that is going to play out for the rest of the time spent there.
We grabbed fastpasses for Buzz, then caught Monsters Inc. before we headed back to Hotel Gotohell.
For once I wasn't chosen to be Sully during the show. THis has happened to me twice before, and one time for some reason the light came on and I had to make up a dance for them. I think I liked it better when I used to be the Invisible Man there.
But I have never been blesssed with being "That Guy" during the show. If you 've seen it, you know what I'm talking about, that would make my day.
Just before 12:30 we headed to the bus stop.
Nobody's there.
And I mean NOBODY.
What this usually means is that either: A, we are the only ones going back to the resort this early, or B, we just missed a bus.
I'm willing to bet we just missed a bus, but this is one of those times that you prefer not to know that, ignorance is bliss if you will.
"Hey you just missed the bus," a worker called over from the trash can he was emptying.
Bless his heart.
So we both settled down for a long winter's nap.
This lasted about 3 minutes.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear?
(stop it, stopitrightnow)
But an All Star Sports bus pulls right up in front of us, the doors open, and she beckons us inside.
Could not believe it, somebodies schedule certainly is off but I'm not complainin.
I went in first, and as I came up the stairs the lady bus driver couldn't help but notice my leg.
"Have a little fall down?"
"No thanks, I already did" I cleverly replied.
Unfazed, she said, "You really should put something on that."
" I just did! Concrete."
"Allright", she smiled, 'but I'd still put something on it."
"I'm fresh out of leeches, can you drop us off at Leecholand at Downtown Disney?"
I heard her mumble, "Everybody's a comedian" as she closed the door.
We had a private bus-limo ride back to the resort for just the two of us.
Very nice.
I put on a cd, then opened a bottle of champagne from the wet bar and closed the curtains.
No, really, she didn't feel like hanging around for even a minute, it was the first time I felt like a bus was sent just for us this trip. We sat close to the front and talked with her, I finally ran out of sarcastic comments and we had a nice talk.
Then suddenly she got all excited about something, slowed down and pointed it out to us.
Standing next to a bush on the side of the road was a deer, "in broad daylight!" as she put it. As excited as she was, for us this ranks right up there with seeing a dog standing there.
I bought the townhouse we live in back in 2000 as new construction when we were divorced. There are now 110 townhouses in the community, and it's been finished for 8 years now.
But the deer refuse to give up their neighborhood, if we go a week without seeing at least one that's unusual. Sometimes I'll come downstairs and one will be peeking in the screen door staring at one of the cats.
Let me show you.
This is the back of the house, that cheapy grill is on our patio.
Sometimes they come around the front, too;
The best Diane and I could say was "Cool." I don't think she understood our indifference.
Getting off the bus, there was a slight, uncomfortable feeling that passed over me. It's just a small feeling that you shouldn't have to feel at Disney. I hated it and still hate the fact that I experienced it staying at a Disney resort. I didn't as Diane either if she felt it, if I had then it would have been s selffulfilling question, " Of course I feel it now that you brought it up!"
It's hard to describe, just a feeling that there still may be another confrontation and you better keep your wits with you. Like I said, something you should never have to feel staying at a Disney resort.
We changed into suits, then stood outside our room trying to decide which pool to go to.
The one that's right here is pretty crowded with soccer players, I was wondering why they weren't where they should be, somewhere else playing soccer. But it wasn't packed crowded, at least not yet and it is right outside our room making it very convenient for almost anything.
Able to grab a table with umbrella and chairs we settled in.
Suddenly we heard the strangest sound coming from the pool. Not strange under normal circumstances, but with this group I thought it was extremely strange.
Diane heard it first and she said, "You have got to be kidding me."
"Marco"
"Polo"
While I always dread hearing those words by a pool, in this case it actually made me feel a little better, showing that they are still kids at heart underneath the threatening posture.
Then I came to my senses.
I think their rules were you blindfold the one guy, he yells Marco, somebody else yells Polo, then Marco has to go and try and knife Polo without cutting the wrong person, first.
We went if for a little bit, stayed by ourselves on the other side of the pool and when we got out and went back, our stuff was taken off the chairs and put on the ground with our chairs now gone.
Then we were gone.
To the other pool.
So much for good feelings.
Surf's Up pool was not bad, we should have come directly here first, instead of passing go. When it's time to go, i always have to be the one to inform Smidgy, she always hates me for being that bad messenger but somebody has to do it if you still want to stick to the somewhat plans we had for the evening. Plus today the time seemed to go by even faster because of all the beach and pool time we've had for endless hours before we got here.
At least down at the main pool we can refill our mugs and we used them to bring back mixer, Sprite in my case. We then got ready to go back to the MK, looking forward to seeing the Main Street Electrical Parade and the Nightastic Fireworks show, and we made a drink in a plastic cup for at the resort, then we each made one in the fuzzy cup for taking with for the bus ride.
All dressed and ready to go, all we have to do is stop back in the room and pick up our fuzzy cup drinks, we headed to the smoking area that is right at the end of the Touchdown section where it meets the pool and the Home Run section.
Anybody in their right mind will admit, this is a dumb place for a DSA.
The main walkway throught Touchdown goes in between an opening between two sets of bleachers, one on each side.
These small bleachers are the smoking area, it's also how any other section of the resort would get to the home run pool.
All we wanted was to have one smoke before we headed off to the park.
That's all.
A line of bushes hid the back of the bleachers from our view as we walked up to them.
It was also hard to hear anything else due to all the rucus from the pool. I think they had now progressed from Marco Polo to Santa Anna. Or was it Che Geuvarro? Can't remember, I just know it wasn't Ricardo Montalban.
Passing through the opening, we now can see about 8 teenagers sitting in the bleachers on the right side, with a coach in front of them lecturing.
He seemed a tad irate, I got the feeling their tournament wasn't going as planned for them.
But this wasn't the group we encountered yesterday on the way to the room, these kids seemed maybe a year or two younger, and it was definately a different coach.
We sat in the bleachers on the left side, then lit our smokes.
Diane is wearing her favorite green sundress, I'm wearing shorts and a decent shirt for a change, and, for the first time in over a week, shoes. I bought these shoes before the trip, for the trip, and have been wearing them a lot to break them in. But I underestimated the swelling powers of Disney on my foot. The only way I could even get them on is without socks, so, against all that I have ever preached, I am wearing canvas type shoes tonight without socks.
But they feel pretty good so far.
Apparently, the sound of a flicking disposable lighter was the equivalent of a cherry bomb going off to this coach.
He stopped yelling in mid-tirade, stood up, and looked over at us.
Of course all the kids looked over then too.
I just casually pointed to the Disney provided huge ash tray that was sitting right in front of us. It's brother was also sitting about two feet to the left of this guy on his side of the bleachers.
His eyes followed my pointing finger to the ash tray as if in slow motion, then he looked back up and you could actually see his face start to turn even redder than it was from his tirade.
Then he started to scream bloody murder at us.
I don' t speak Spanish, or Portuguese or whatever it was, but a few F words got in his way so he used them too, and these words I'm very familiar with, thank you very much.
At least with those words yelled at us I could be certain without any shred of doubt that he wasn't yelling at us for not using sunblock while we were at the pool.
Then he turned back to the kids and yelled something at them, they took off running toward the food court through the football section.
My first thought was good, they're all leaving, geesh, all this for lighting up a smoke in the designated smoking area?
Then I realized he just wanted them out of the way, out of the picture. Most of them were stopping a ways down and turning around to watch what would happen.
And what WOULD happen?
All this cuz we lit up smokes and followed the rules?
This doesn't make the slightest amount of sense, not even a little.
He's walking back toward us, looking at me, still screaming his head off and he looked at Smidgy sitting there in disbelief and finally used a word that I was familiar with that is not flattering in the slightest bit to women. I could be totally wrong on the word and it's meaning, but I don't think he was calling my wife a pita bread.
Without even thinking I found myself standing up now also, and really trying to figure out what in the world has set this guy off on us, if I can figure that out, maybe I can figure out how to stop what is about to get really ugly.
And I wondered if our close encounter on the walkway yesterday had gotten around.
Maybe the "Sharks" were telling everyone that Tony and Maria were bullying people so revenge our honor!
Or bulldozing people.
Yes, I was proud of that.
However, either way, I know I have a serious problem on my hands right now.
For one thing, I'm getting pissed too, and that never helps.
Then there's the other reason, and even more important.
I'm taller, got maybe 2 inches on this guy.
And, well, that's the end of my advantages.
He's stocky, appears solid, looks like he weightlifts using port-o-potties.
He also looks to be about 30 years old, I'm working on 56 and the only thing I celebrate on my birthday is the fact that I haven't died yet.
But probably the biggest advantage he has over me is that he's a soccer player. Having two kids that were on travel soccer teams ourselves, we know that all the coaches are so into the game that they are in their own leagues. Not only are they strong with legs like tree trunks, but they can literally run forever without getting tired.
Me?
I get winded making a double jump in checkers!
With him still screaming at me, Diane now screaming at him, the teenagers at the end now getting back closer and screaming him on, I just stood there, not believing.
Suddenly, another hispanic man came running up, swell, I thought, am I gonna have to do this with one hand tied behind my back while juggling eggs with the other one?, but he was yelling at this guy, and still, I can't understand what is said.
As the new guy is trying to calm down the Tasmanian Devil he points at my messed up shin, then he puts his arm around his shoulders and walks him back to the rest of the team.
I thought about what just happened here at the end, and suddenly it all bacame clear to me.
"They're NUTS. They're all friggin NUTS!"
"What was that about, pointing to my knee?"
"What in the hell would that have to do with anything?"
I was so wired up , I was just babbling, I still have no idea what this guy could have told him.
We both just sat down again, it all took place in less than five minutes, and we were still trying to catch our breath first, and still not having a clue as to what and why this just happened.
After a couple of minutes of our own swearing about the whole ridiculous situation, we sat in silence for a few minutes, and I relit my evil smoke.
They were all now gone completly from sight, the men one way, the kids the other.
But what made me feel worse than anything was when I glanced at Smidgy sitting next to me, there was a tear rolling down her cheek and she had the saddest expression.
I just hate to see her sad like this, I moved closer and as we hugged she said a couple times. "Where's my Disney? Steve, where's my Disney?"
And I had no answer.
A while later, still sitting there and talking about it of course, she said we better get going, still have stuff to do at Magic kingdom so we decided to stick to the plan, we'll be out of here next morning anyway.
Just before we left to go to the bus stop, I told her in a feeble attempt at humor;
"If nothing else, we'll always have Pop."
for Smidgy and Mony Mony for talking you into writing it!
) would attempt to block you from walking on the sidewalk to get to your room. I think my DH would've reacted the same way you did.
I am so sad. 
And I am pretty darned ticked off too!! 
okay it's 245 in the morning I had to tell someone. back to the regularly schedule report
