Friends/Family going/ $$ question

[debbiepump]

Wow! I'm the original poster and I'm amazed at all the different thoughts/opinions on this subject. I'll throw a ceveat in this quandry of mine........my sis....who I don't feel I should have to 'ask' to chip in and who has yet to offer (all our kids are grown,etc.)......owns an rv they paid $150,000 for (cash)!! Have we been invited into their 'condo on wheels' as they call it? Nope! I agree with all about taking family/friends, making our trips alot more fun, etc., but I truly don't feel I should has to ask, hint or make any kind of suggestions for any outlay financially.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Wow! I'm the original poster and I'm amazed at all the different thoughts/opinions on this subject. I'll throw a ceveat in this quandry of mine........my sis....who I don't feel I should have to 'ask' to chip in and who has yet to offer (all our kids are grown,etc.)......owns an rv they paid $150,000 for (cash)!! Have we been invited into their 'condo on wheels' as they call it? Nope! I agree with all about taking family/friends, making our trips alot more fun, etc., but I truly don't feel I should has to ask, hint or make any kind of suggestions for any outlay financially.

Hello OP! See, thats my point, many of the people who would love dearly to "share" your timeshare have their own little luxury items they probably don't think twice about NOT sharing! What doesn't occur to them, shouldn't have to occur you in my book. Its not like your sister is homeless, terminally ill and that she has one last week in life to enjoy a beautiful condo at WDW but you won't let her! If she wants to go to WDW with you, tell her about Fort Wildnerness, she can park that beautiful RV right there, and you can all tour the parks together and go back at night to the accomodations you each one paid for with your hard earned money! Hey you can even pool hop over to their pool at FW because you are DVC!

Taking family and friends is a wonderful thing, if it makes sense, you can afford it, they are comfortable with you doing it and probably a hundred other variables. So far we have had two stays at SSR and both of them we took family. Our parents are old and sick and I am sad to say they probably won't ever be able to go back and therefore we won't ever have to wonder "can we afford this, do we have enough points" etc. I just paid off the credit card I used for those trips and it was almost bittersweet. I wouldn't trade those trips for anything and if it worked out and they could go again, I would do it again and find a way to make it happen like I did last time. However, I consider those trips completely separate from what I feel the need to do for other family members and friends. My own sister has basically stated since I did it for our mom I should do it for her. I didn't get invited by her to cruise when she won a 7 day cruise for two awhile back. She took her son which is exactly who I take to SSR with me! If she can't see the absurdity of comparing what I would do for our dying mother, I certainly can't explain it to her. She has finally stopped bringing it up which is good for both of us because frankly it got old and made me more determined not to take her since she kept bringing it up all the time.

I say just tell your sister you don't have enough points for anything larger than what your own family can stay in or whatever you think is right. If this upsets or angers her, she can get happy in the same clothes she got mad in! My grandma used to say that and she was right!

 

[bpmorley]

Now that other SIL... she's a different story, LOL. She'd take the room and be offended that you didn't pay her air/passes too. I can just hear her saying, "How am I supposed to come up with that kind of money???" Then she'd cancel two days before we left.

Cause you're really putting a strain on her by inviting her to Disney World. Wish I had problems like that

 

[Muushka]

All of these posts makes me wonder if a portion of 'family and friends' simply do not understand that bringing them along with you is actually costing points (which in my book translates into money)?

 

[flechette]

Thinking hard about it - I really can't picture asking my family to chip for anything: mainly because we usually stay with family when we visit them and we're never allowed to give them money or pay for a dinner- something we offer everytime we're there. So it would really be nice to have something to offer back as a thank you

Friends are another matter tho - even if they are the family of the heart I just had one friend offer up my suv for a trip to another city for a group of 6.

1) I have an Escape Hybrid - it don't fit no 6 adults

2) the person offering my SUV weighs - literally- 500+lbs, my poor SUV strains mightly when he's in it around town - 70 miles or so on an interstate? <shudder>

I replied that a) 6 don't fit and b) hubby and I have noticed performance issues with heavy loads and would prefer to avoid that on the highway for long distances.

Friends' response " well X and I will grab a ride with M's SUV then"

ummm, errr, huh? what part of avoiding heavy loads was unclear? He and his GF weigh close to 800 lbs combined and they each have a car so why am I getting picked on? yes this is one of the friends I'm worried about when we become DVC owners

adding insult to injury - anytime he's ridden in my SUV he's complained about how uncomfortable it is for a good 10 minutes after he gets out.

He has a good heart, he takes in anyone that needs a place to stay no matter how short an aquaintance, he is a good friend but darnit I feel like he's being pushy.

<sigh> I guess the point of this mini rant is that some of us would like to be generous but know that said generousity won't be appreciated and will likely be taken advantage off so we hesitate to even start cause we know the likely end result.

Did that make any sense?

 

[JLS]

I think the previous poster nailed the problem - many friends/family think "oh, you just have these points" and so the mentality is that it costs us nothing. Most people are more familiar with the traditional timeshare mentality where your week is already paid for and if not used, the place would just sit empty. Obviously DVC is much different.

This May will be our first trip with our baby, and the first in 2 years. Our trip is costing approximately 400 points. We are doing 3 nights in Vero Beach in 1 bedroom, and my best friend will be coming along. Then we are doing 9 nights in a 2 bedroom at BCV. For a portion of that time my friend will be there, and for the last weekend my mom and sister will be there.

We would have stayed in a 1 bedroom the whole time if it was just my husband and me and our baby. In total, it is costing us about 80 additional points to get a 2 bedroom at BCV, or $800 on the rental market. We have decided to have my friend pay us $50 per night for accommodations for the 7 nights she will be with us, so we will recoup almost 1/2 of that money. It is an arbitrary number, and below the value of rental, but it seems right to me.

I cannot bring myself to charge my mother and sister for use of points right now. They are struggling to pay for airfare and food/tickets, and my mom just lost her husband (my dad), so I don't feel right about asking her to pay. We make much more money than my mom or sister and we can comfortably afford to "treat" them by paying the difference between a 1 and 2 bedroom.

My advice is: DO WHAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH, but be upfront with people if you are wanting them to reimburse you. Or you could say something like, "rather than renting out our extra points we are going to use them to cover your room.... so no cost to you, but I'll "let" you take us out to dinner."

 

[bpmorley]

<sigh> I guess the point of this mini rant is that some of us would like to be generous but know that said generousity won't be appreciated and will likely be taken advantage off so we hesitate to even start cause we know the likely end result.

Did that make any sense?

makes tons of sense. One of the points brought up earlier was that if someone invites themselves they should be paying full price. If you invite someone, unless otherwise arranged, you shouldn't be charging. but I know for sure that if I get "well we'll just go with you because you have the place for free" My reply will be sure, we'll be using 120 pts and @ $10/point you can give me $1200 and you're more than welcome. I personally don't have this problem, but I know plenty that do.

 

[Bill K]

Our first family reunion trip home we did sit down and hashed out a figure. The families had such a great time that now we just handle our own expenses to get there and split the common food bills. We all have such a good time, it feels great being able to share the moment together...

 

[mamatojon]

Cause you're really putting a strain on her by inviting her to Disney World. Wish I had problems like that

Huh? I'm not sure I get what you are saying. I'm of the opinion that if you can't afford the trip then don't take it. Invited or not, there are a ton of expenses that you simply can't expect others to pick up. I don't see how planning a big family trip equals putting a strain on her. Should we invite everyone else and just exclude her? How would that feel? If I were her I'd simply say "I hope you all have fun, it's not in my budget at this time though!" and leave it at that. What I'm getting at with her is that there is an *expectation* that she *deserves* or is *entitled* to go since others can and everybody else needs to somehow make it happen for her. There is obviously a whole lot of other history that you aren't privy to here, so I probably shouldn't even have mentioned her at all.

 

[pearlieq]

We would never dream of charging friends and family to share our DVC accomodations, but on the other hand, we'de never dream of allowing someone else to "invite themselves along" on our vacation.

If someone goes with us, it's always our idea and our invitation. I don't think I know anyone presumptuous enough to assume we'd put them up, and if they did they wouldn't have that presumption for long!

I would expect any guests to cover their own expenses, and frankly I'd also be expecting some kind of thank you--covering dinner one night, providing something for the room, or even a thoughtful note.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Huh? I'm not sure I get what you are saying. I'm of the opinion that if you can't afford the trip then don't take it. Invited or not, there are a ton of expenses that you simply can't expect others to pick up. I don't see how planning a big family trip equals putting a strain on her. Should we invite everyone else and just exclude her? How would that feel? If I were her I'd simply say "I hope you all have fun, it's not in my budget at this time though!" and leave it at that. What I'm getting at with her is that there is an *expectation* that she *deserves* or is *entitled* to go since others can and everybody else needs to somehow make it happen for her. There is obviously a whole lot of other history that you aren't privy to here, so I probably shouldn't even have mentioned her at all.

I think this poster was being sarcastic, saying if its too much strain for her to pay her own transportation when she's getting free accomodations, that's pretty lame. And I believe he is saying he wishes his only problem in life was coming up with the airfare dollars to get him to his freebie DVC digs that his family pays for! I think he's definitely on your side .

 

[bpmorley]

I think this poster was being sarcastic, saying if its too much strain for her to pay her own transportation when she's getting free accomodations, that's pretty lame. And I believe he is saying he wishes his only problem in life was coming up with the airfare dollars to get him to his freebie DVC digs that his family pays for! I think he's definitely on your side .

If I'm the he you're talking about then you got it right. But feel free to invite me. I'll get my own airfare and park ticket. Unless we go before June 20th, then my AP is still good. I'll even through in a free mcmuffin with the invite. How's that for being grateful. lol

 

[bpmorley]

You did get it right Amy & Dan. I am on their side. I think anyone that would complain about a free vacation should be told to not bother coming.

 

[Amy&Dan]

If I'm the he you're talking about then you got it right. But feel free to invite me. I'll get my own airfare and park ticket. Unless we go before June 20th, then my AP is still good. I'll even through in a free mcmuffin with the invite. How's that for being grateful. lol

Well, hey if you are throwing in free McMuffins I would totally spring for your accomodations! Unfortunately, I don't have enough points though (that's what I tell everybody)!

 

[bpmorley]

Well, hey if you are throwing in free McMuffins I would totally spring for your accomodations! Unfortunately, I don't have enough points though (that's what I tell everybody)!

Good, some other people have to learn how to say no. On another note, how do you get a picture in your signature?

 

[mamatojon]

You did get it right Amy & Dan. I am on their side. I think anyone that would complain about a free vacation should be told to not bother coming.

I'm so sorry I misunderstood you! I've been so worn out with this particular person lately (a whole lot of stuff completely unrelated to WDW) and I'm feeling a little defensive I think. Some people seem to think that because I'm a stay at home mom I should stay at home to do things for them, LOL. Argh. Anyways, I completely see how you wrote that now and sorry for jumping down your throat!

 

[bpmorley]

I'm so sorry I misunderstood you! I've been so worn out with this particular person lately (a whole lot of stuff completely unrelated to WDW) and I'm feeling a little defensive I think. Some people seem to think that because I'm a stay at home mom I should stay at home to do things for them, LOL. Argh. Anyways, I completely see how you wrote that now and sorry for jumping down your throat!

Dont' sweat it. I'm not a thin skinned person. And it's tough to tell tone of voice on boards and emails and such. Sounds like you have to get away from that person. And on that note of being expected to do everything because you're home, start saying no. I was injured on the job a couple years ago. I was out 9 months. I had therapy 3 times a week for an hour each time. Everyone thought that meant I could run their errands for them. That got old real quick. A few things a day to break the boredom is one thing, but some requests were just absurd. SO JUST SAY NO!!!!!!!!

 

[mamatojon]

Dont' sweat it. I'm not a thin skinned person. And it's tough to tell tone of voice on boards and emails and such. Sounds like you have to get away from that person. And on that note of being expected to do everything because you're home, start saying no. I was injured on the job a couple years ago. I was out 9 months. I had therapy 3 times a week for an hour each time. Everyone thought that meant I could run their errands for them. That got old real quick. A few things a day to break the boredom is one thing, but some requests were just absurd. SO JUST SAY NO!!!!!!!!

Thanks, I needed that! You are so right, and I am getting better at the just say no thing. It's the guilt trips that follow that really get me down. But thanks so much for the reminder and validation!

 

[mommyceratops]

I am a new member but I invited my cousins to join us (they have never been) and asked for $50 a night from them. It is cheaper than All Stars...They declined my offer but $50 is what I felt comfortable with.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Good, some other people have to learn how to say no. On another note, how do you get a picture in your signature?

I went to www.photobucket.com to put my picture in there but I cannot remember how I did it after that, if you go to the technical board it tells you how. My husband had to help me big time, I am terrible at stuff like that!